Day 38 - Being my starting point

I forgive myself for NOT accepting and allowing myself to realize that I do not have to feel sad, depressed and be in fear because I do not have a partner.

I forgive myself for NOT accepting and allowing myself to stop defining not having a partner as sad and depressing.

I forgive myself for NOT accepting and allowing myself to stop all the backchat, breathe and simply be here with myself.

I forgive myself for NOT accepting and allowing myself to enjoy being with myself alone.

I forgive myself for NOT accepting and allowing myself to realize that I made myself believe that I need certain people/situations in order to feel happy, loved, safe or a certain way.

I forgive myself for NOT accepting and allowing myself to let go of the belief that I need a partner in order to feel loved, safe and be happy with myself.

I forgive myself for NOT accepting and allowing myself to stop worrying about the future.

I forgive myself for NOT accepting and allowing myself to stop worrying about what might happen if something doesn't go as I planned it.

I forgive myself for NOT accepting and allowing myself to stop going into fear and anxiety when I don't see a solution to a problem that I have to solve. When and as I see myself going into fear, anxiety and nervousness when I realize that I don't see a solution to the problem that I have to solve - I stop and breathe. Instead I remain here in the breath and I look at what else can I do to find a solution.

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I forgive myself for NOT accepting and allowing myself to stop fearing asking a professor/assistant a question/for help.

I forgive myself for NOT accepting and allowing myself to stop feeling nervous before/when I want to ask a professor/assistant a question.

I forgive myself for NOT accepting and allowing myself to stop judging myself as stupid and less than before/when I want to ask a professor/assistant a question.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to go into self-judgment and the belief that I am stupid and less than others when I ask the professor/assistant a question and others react to it.

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to realize that I care so much about what others say/think about me because I do not trust myself and because I judge myself and have low self-confidence, so I believe that others have to say/think good about me, so that I will be happy with myself and accept myself as good/worthy/equal.

I forgive myself for NOT accepting and allowing myself to stop worrying/caring about what others have to say or think about me. I realize that people will always have things to say about me and that their judgments and reactions are their own responsibility and have nothing to do with me or how I should see myself or look at myself.

I forgive myself for NOT accepting and allowing myself to stop judging/blaming myself based on other people's reactions/judgments/comments about me.

I forgive myself for NOT accepting and allowing myself to stop judging myself as strange/weird if I do not act in the same way that others do or that the majority deos.

I forgive myself for NOT accepting and allowing myself to be myself and be confident with myself.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to want to blend in with the majority.

I forgive myself for NOT accepting and allowing myself to realize that I fear to expose myself in front of others or be in center of attention because I care about what others say/think about me.

I forgive myself for NOT accepting and allowing myself to trust myself to be myself, accept myself and direct/support myself in a way that is best for me while not harming/limiting others and allowing/helping them to do the same.

I forgive myself for NOT accepting and allowing myself to be my own starting point and do things for me. I realize that I only have myself and that no one can help me be me or change me as I can only do that for myself.

I commit myself to be my own starting point and do things for me and because of me and to always bring points back to myself and align myself to what is best for all life.

Day 30 - Want to be noticed & Fearing to speak

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to look for fulfillment of being noticed and cared for from another. I realize that I am doing this because I do not fulfill, notice and take care of myself. When and as I see myself looking for fulfillment, wanting to be noticed and cared for - I stop and I breathe. Instead I gift back myself to myself by noticing myself and taking care of myself and fulfilling myself with myself as who I am as Life here in every breath.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to go into sadness when I think/believe/perceive I am not noticed. I realize that I have separated myself from notice by wanting someone else to notice me. When and as I see myself going into sadness and wishing/wanting/desiring to be noticed by another - I stop and I breathe. I notice and give attention to myself and stand here in the breath in self-fulfillment as Life.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to think/believe/perceive that I need someone to notice me. I realize that this is separation as I can give notice and attention back to myself and so stop the desire. When and as I see myself thinking/believing/perceiving that I need someone to notice me - I stop and I breathe. Instead I notice myself and give attention back to myself and take care of myself.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to wish/want/desire to be noticed/accepted/loved/special within my relationships with others and in this I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to feel insecure whenever I see/perceive no one notices me. When and as I see myself wishing/wanting/desiring to be noticed/accepted/loved/special - I stop and I breath. Instead I notice and give attention to myself and stand as an equal to others and all that is here.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to judge myself and my thoughts before I speak to the point of giving into fear of speaking and not speaking at all. When and as I see myself judging myself and my thoughts before I speak - I stop and I breathe. Instead I share and express myself in the moment and expand myself through self-honesty and common sense.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to use the excuse of 'I don't know how' in order to no speak up and share/express what I wanted. When and as I see myself suppressing myself with the belief of 'I don't know how' to speak about something - I stop and I breathe. Instead I share and express myself and not go into self-judgment.

2012 - Song lyrics

When I hear a song that talks about relationship/love/feelings/emotions I start to listen to the lyrics and allow myself to imagine the relationship/emotional situations when then I go into desire of such relationships/emotions of love etc.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to focus on the lyrics of emotional/relationship/love songs and to start to imagine myself in such situations and to desire them and believe that I need them in order to be happy. When and as I see myself focusing my attention on such lyrics - I stop, I breathe. I realize that by this I am allowing myself to use such lyrics to become emotional and to desire situations that exist only in my mind and so I get depressed and sad through believing that this is what I need to be happy, instead of realizing that such emotions/happiness is all the illusion of the mind and is never real and always works in polarities where if I am happy in one moment I will have to be sad and depressed in another. This stops here. I do not accept and allow myself to focus on the lyrics and to use them to generate ideas/desires and emotions/feelings, instead I stay here in the breath.

2012 Moving in with Self Direction

I am now moving into the new apartment. I already moved a lot of the stuff and were there to clean and unpack a bit today. My roommate said she'll be moving in in the next month. Had some mixed feelings and emotions coming up while there and while driving. At times I was excited and happy because I never had 'my own' apartment before, at least not that big. I had a happy thought + feeling about it when I drove last day with Barbi from the apartment and I got a short sharp pain in my chest on the left bellow the heart which reminded me when Barbi and I were leaving the Desteni Farm and Bernard pointed out to Barbi that she has allowed some happy feelings and explained that this is where they manifest in the body. Today I was also excited at first to unpack and make it comfortable, but then I allowed myself to go into sadness of being alone and away from friends as this is the pattern I created form myself as a teenager. Basically I get scared of having no friends and no one to hang out with. Particularly I would not enjoy having no girls I like around me, lol. Another idea / desire of mine from the high school. I have always been around boys but not girls. Too shy, too scared and just too mind-fucked. I had no self-direction whatsoever. But I always dreamed about having a girl and how nice it will be and where I will take her and all the stuff. But when I actually had a chance to even talk to a girl I just couldn't do it. Too scared. Fuck, that was horrible and it's funny how I see now that I myself accepted and allowed myself to be like that. Blaming anyone else would just be dishonest towards myself. Desteni tools helped me allot! Sometimes when I look at myself now and how I was in high school for example, I am surprised that I actually managed to look normal to other people, because I was completely fucked in my head with fears and desires but also had no self-direction whatsoever. I laugh now but back then it was horrible. No one should be left like that, to torture self through one's own mind and the tools I learned in the Desteni'I'Process are top shit for getting self back to self here as Life in the physical. If I am able to correct myself than anyone else can too.

Talking about my feelings, emotions and apartment, it will be a cool experience for be and will speed up my process as I will be facing my mind-fucks as I explained above. Plus, my roommate is moving in with me and I find her dis-likable lately. So this will also be cool support from the perspective of learning to live together in common sense, not in love & light nonsense where people get together because of some 'special' feelings and sexual desires. We're slowly moving past that phase now and entering the self-direction area. One way traffic, not that you can't go back but nobody wants to, haha! Self-directive people that work together and do what is practically Best for All Life will make heaven on Earth. Are you in for it yet? Let's do this!

2011 - Why do people hate?

People sure like to hate a lot. Doesn't matter really what or why...

Where does this come from? Do you like to hate? How many times a week do you hate something? Dare to count?

Hate starts with the back-chat in someones mind, where one starts to firstly define things according to one's beliefs and judgments. Hate is the opposite of love - it's a polarity like any other mind-fuck that keeps your mind going. There is no love without hate and so you must hate if you want to love. It's all an energy game inside our minds, our thoughts. We delude ourselves with our mind definitions instead of just being here, breathing, doing what's Common Sense - Best for All. We don't learn crap from our mind polarity love-hate delusions. It's all fake information, not real, made up, keeping us locked inside our head so that we continue to perpetuate the mind polarity energy game of high and low, love and hate, win and lose...

Do you like your ego? People tend to put self first, to take care of self first, to take care of the ego of self. The ego fights to survive, to be on top, the winner, the best, the super ego. It's a self destruction device in your head. Don't try and be your ego, you'll go crazy and mad.

Be here, breath and stand with the physical. Ego is useless in the physical. Ego makes the physical weak and abuses it. Do you drink alcohol, get drunk? The abuse is obvious, it's all about not wanting to face self, not wanting to be self responsible. Human is a slave to his own ego. You can observe the self-destruction of egoistic man as you realize your-self as breath in the always present moment of here-ness, as you walk through the self-honest process of stopping your mind possessions of egoism, as you start to participate in Common Sense and what is Best for All.
In the breath of here-ness, there is no freedom of choice to trouble your ego and mind with - no choice to abuse self, only the Common Sense to do what is Best for All. Life will be born when we All stand as One and Equal in what is Best for All.

Lets walk together in self-direction and self-honesty as we change our nature of being with the principle of Oneness and Equality as what is Best for All. Lets be self-honest and stop our crap. The shit is hitting the fan.

I am a Destonian - I stand for Life! I am one vote for an Equal Money System and for World Equality!

equalmoney.org
desteniiprocess.com

2011 - Answering Susanne Hahn

I have received the following private message on FaceBook from Susanne:

"Dear Blaz
Sorry, but I do not feel really attracted to this connection. What I feel and see about Destini and the followers, I like the goal but not the way – I don’t feel attracted to this path, for me too much equality and too much uniform symbolism, too much to read and I don’t like programs at all. Sorry but I follow only my inner smile and feel too free at this point of time for this. That does not mean, that your way is wrong, it is just not mine.

Wish you all the best, love, joy and peace.
May there be peace among all, Om Shanti - shanti, shanti

With devine love
Susanne"

Hi Susanne,

I am not sure why you decided to write me this private message but if you are looking for a confirmation of your attempt of taking a self-righteous position, I am not going to give you one because that is your ego trying to justify itself which is self-deception. Don't react to what I'm saying, just be self-honest about self. The only reason why you can say "Your goal is OK but I don't like the way because I don't feel attracted so I'm not willing to join" is because you have enough money to live as you wish and so just don't care about those that don't. If you would actually understand what we are doing you would see that the only way to change the system and the world as we have accepted and allowed it to exist is to do what we are doing = sorting out self with the tools provided and then standing together as a group which mean acting as one as equals to bring about what is practically Best for All. Look again in self-honesty what is your starting point, what are you protecting by not joining? What are you afraid off? If you wish someone all the best, love, joy and Om Shanti (whatever that means...), that doesn't make you a 'good' or 'better' person. The reality is that you are not willing to do anything practically that needs to be done to bring about a dignified life to all. All you do is deceive people with your 'divine love' sharing which you use to make yourself feel as a 'good person' and to support your ego, your self-righteousness.

So Susanne, are you willing to face your-self and do what needs to be done practically to actually stand for All Life and bring about the needed change so that we can all have a dignified life? Or are you going to protect your ego through self-righteousness and hide behind nice words and only do what you feel attracted to and turn a blind eye to everything else just because you have enough money to continue with your self-deception?

2011 - I'm without a job, you're next

In the last few weeks I have been looking for a job to earn some extra money while I'm writing my diploma. There is a system in place in Slovenia where if you are a student and would like to work, you have to work through one of the authorized agencies called Student Services where they provide you with a list of available jobs and if you get accepted they give you a piece of paper - student referral. Through that then your employer sends the money you earned, first to the Student Service and then they gave it to you and earn some money in the process.
Anyhow, I've been looking for a job and in the past there really wasn't a problem getting one but that has changed because everyone are running out of money because all are in debt to each other. That fact in itself shows you how retarded and abusive the current economic system is, which is actually us because we allow it the way it is. So more and more people are now starting to lose their jobs, increasingly. My father lost his job last year where he worked for more than 10 years and after searching for quite some time he managed to get a part time job as a salesman where he gets paid according to how much money he brings to the company which is obviously not enough for a decent salary. A few weeks ago my partners mother also got fired from a private company where she worked for more than 10 years because they are running out of money. Fortunately she managed to get a job (even better one) because of friends and connections. But for how long?
Finding a job with a decent salary is getting increasingly difficult because no one cares to look at the real problem. Have you? Do you even know where the money comes from and how it is made?
People will have to realize that we as individuals are responsible for how we accepted and allowed this abusive monetary system to exist. It is not something that cannot be changed, it is here because we help every day to keep it going. We support it and we stand as the abusers on this world every day, with every cent we earn and spend. It is obvious that the system is going to self-destruct and we with it, unless we
realize that the obvious solution for our problem is the Equal Money System where money is based on the value of Life instead of debt and where the principle is 'what is best for all', instead of greed, competition, deception, secrecy, exclusivity and abuse.
It is a very simple principle that can be grasped by every human, when one applies self honesty and self forgiveness. There is no better way to show this to people than to be an example and change self accordingly, to be one and equal with all Life and do what is Best for All.

2010 - Equal Money System

The Equal Money System is a support system that derives from a single principle, that is also a fact, that we are all as one as equal as Life. That implies that if we do not treat each other equally in all ways, we live in a delusion. How hard is that to realize? Now take a good and thorough look at what exactly it is in your mind that prevents you, personally, to admit such a fact? Is it your ego? Would you like to be more than others? Or do you feel less than others and accept that as your reality? Do you self-honestly accept inequality as your limitation, as what you stand for and believe in? Why would you oppose a system where each individual is treated equally in oneness as Life? I mean if you do, than that states that you are obviously not equal to Life, because all Life is the same. All Life is equal to Life. Value of Life is Life. Is it that you would rather be something special = more than Life, or would you rather be something limited = less than Life? In both cases you can easily forgive yourself for such thoughts of delusion and spiritual diarrhea and take self-responsibility as Life. Or is it FEAR that controls you? What do you fear? Do you fear your-self? Everything is about self. Do you fear of losing your self? Or do you fear losing your advantaged position of power, luxury, fame and sex? If you fear of losing yourself you live in a delusion. Explore Desteni and you will be assisted in realizing why one can never lose self. But if you fear losing your privileged position - you have a problem. Again, self-forgiveness, self-responsibility. You can only fear losing something that was never really yours, but you made it yours and yours only. You lied, manipulated, cheated and not shared, to make it yours. And exactly because of your spitefulness towards others, not willing to consider everyone as one as equal as you as Life, you will lose everything. It is inevitable. Delusions never last. That's why they are delusions. Only what is real stands the test of time. Are you real?

No one can define you in any way what so ever. You and you alone are responsible for every thought, fear, emotion, feeling and action that you do and experience. What is your principle? Who are you? Are you Life? Or do you hate Life? Do you define yourself as 'less that'? Explore Desteni and you will be assisted into self-responsibility and equality as Life. Do you want to be 'more than' and abuse? Explore Desteni and you will be assisted into self-responsibility and equality as Life. Don't want to? Then state that clearly so that we don't waste our time with you. But even if you don't care, you decide in each and every moment who you are. Every day is your judgment day. More we wait, more fucked up we get. I have decided. At death it is too late. Ignorance, waiting and not acting also states who you are = unwilling to take self-responsibility to stand as one and equal as Life and do what is best for all Life. I will die well, how will you die?