We all have ideas about sex, like how should it be/look like and who to have it with etc. with which we limit ourselves through feelings/emotions and self-judgments. We define ourselves through it and place special value to it as if it is something supernatural and mystical while in fact it is just another way to express self in the physical, like playing a sport or massaging someone etc., the only big problem is that we allow ourselves to become completely possessed by sexual energies and desires where we become complete robots trying to get the energetic release instead of simply being here without all the self-created energies and expressing self in self-direction with another. If we express ourselves within sex without any judgments, anticipations, desires etc., we simply enjoy ourselves in the physical with another and that's all there is to it. Because self-honestly, seeing sex only as putting ones dick into someones vagina and getting an orgasm is self-abuse and self-limitation through ones own created desires/addictions to sexual energies. Sex in self-expression can be so much more, a real expression of self as life here, with no judgments/desires/anticipations. I've started to remove the layers of my preprogrammed mind patterns through which I limited myself within sex and sexual expression.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to want/need/desire to associate/define/value myself with/through my partner/the person I had sex with, instead of realizing that having sex does not define me as who I am as life here in oneness and equality.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to judge myself as 'easy'/'less than' for having sex with someone I don't have special feelings/attraction towards.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that having sex with someone I don't have special feelings/attraction towards is wrong/inappropriate/shameful/stupid and to judge myself for it, instead of realizing that I am establishing a point of self direction where I do not accept and allow myself to be controlled by my energetic desires and beliefs of love/attraction.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be afraid of other people judging me/rejecting me because I had sex with someone I have no attraction/special feelings towards, instead of realizing that other people's reactions do not define me because they just represent their reactions which they haven't dealt with yet.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that a person who I have/had sex with is/should be special and 'more than' others'.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be ashamed to tell other people who I have/had sex with and to fear that others will reject me because of their judgment.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be afraid of premature ejaculation.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to compare myself to others and blame myself as 'less than' if I don't last as long as someone else would.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think/believe/perceive that women wish for sex to last long.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define/perceive slow penetration as better/more passionate than fast penetration.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define/perceive sex as a passionate act, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to attach a definition of passion onto physical touching another human being/male and within that make it more than other physical acts.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be afraid of creating mindfucks and confusion within other people, if I dare to be honest with them.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be afraid of my parents judgments and disapproval of the people that I have sex with.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel the need to present a presentable female to my parents and get their approval..
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to worry about what other people think about me. Whenever I see myself worrying about how other people perceive/see me, I stop, I breathe, I do not allow myself to influence myself through the eyes of others
Showing posts with label 2012. Show all posts
Showing posts with label 2012. Show all posts
Thursday, March 29, 2012
Wednesday, March 28, 2012
2012 - War = crime against Life
Any and all wars are unacceptable and anyone who promotes it should be immediately assisted to realize this and stop the ego-centric self-deception and abuse. Anyone that promotes, justifies and supports war and abuse must be removed from all and any kind of position of power as he/she is incapable of common sense and doing what is Best for All Life.
(Click on any link in the text to get more perspectives.)
Any kind of war represents a complete fail of all human beings to recognize all Life as Self in Oneness and Equality. When there is a war, who benefits? Who makes more money, who gets more control? Those who kill each other or those who want others to kill each other? People allow themselves to be deceived into believing that they are fighting for a 'good cause', for 'freedom', for a better future, for what is best for them and their country... This is always a complete, utter self-deceptive bullshit. No war/violence/killing can ever be best for all because it is always based on separation and self-deception.
All we hear lately is the 'CONflict' between Iran and USA/NATO and how it all looks like there is going to be another war, possibly world war 3. The brainwash apparatus (media), controlled by those with basically unlimited money supply, generated and handed over to them through the exploitation of the economic slaves of capitalism, feeds us - the undereducated/dumbed down people - with fears and tons of justifications for war and why war is supposedly OK and even necessary as if there is apparently no other way. They portray the 'bad guys' as selfish and unwilling to participate instead of looking into the mirror. Through our brainwash media we lie directly and continuously right into our faces about the situation of Iran for example, or anything else for that matter. We simply accept and allow ourselves to be deceived and manipulated towards self-destruction because obviously, most of the people still do not realize and do not want to face the fact that we are all self-responsible for what we have accepted and allowed to exist within ourselves and this world, because whatever we see in the world is just an outflow of what we accept and allow withing ourselves.
If we don't want to suffer the consequences of self-created hell, then we have to always live according to what is Best for All. And if we want to stop all wars, we have to stop the war within ourselves first. We have to stop all the self-accepted and allowed judgments, fears, reactions, anger ... which we all create in separation with/among ourselves and what is here, through the illusions of our minds.
Thus we are self-responsible to not accept and allow any separation to exist within/between ourselves.We have to realize that we are all one and equal and this can only be done by physically/practically walking the principle of what is Best for All. To make it clearer, in the example of war/violence/killing I will always direct myself in the way that will stop it and I will never accept and allow anything that promotes it. I will speak out and expose the self-deception and abuse of Life that exists within war/violence/killing. I will put myself in the shoes of others and I will care for All Life Equally because we are all One.
We tend to look away when we see abuse and suffering just because it is not happening to us and this shows how completely separated we are from self = from what is here. All that exists here, even if it is on the other side of the world, is here because every one of us accepts and allows it to exist within ourselves. As long as there is war, violence, killing or any other abuse of Life then we know that it is here because we all accept and allow it. Especially when we don't (want to) care/notice.
Every one of us must stop. Stop everything that we have accepted and allowed as ourselves because all is self-deception and self-abuse. And as we stop in self-honesty and self-forgiveness, we have to correct ourselves and learn to always direct ourselves by the principle of what is Best for All Life in Oneness and Equality. Then we can live in piece and dignity within/among ourselves and all that is here. Doing anything else will always result in the consequence of suffering and self-abuse. Doing anything else can only create pain and eternal, self-created damnation. No one will save us, no one will save you. We all have to do it ourselves for self and for all that is here in oneness and equality or we shall be damned for eternity because even death won't end the suffering. No one can run away and hide, we all have to face what we have accepted and allowed within ourselves. The longer we postpone, the longer and stronger will be the suffering. Until we start doing what is Best for All in Oneness and Equality.
It is the self-responsibility of every one of us to speak out and not accept and allow any kind of war or any other abuse of Life in any way. We have to stand as practical examples of how to always live in a way that is Best for All and work together to bring about such practical solutions (like an Equal Money System).
(Click on any link in the text to get more perspectives.)
Any kind of war represents a complete fail of all human beings to recognize all Life as Self in Oneness and Equality. When there is a war, who benefits? Who makes more money, who gets more control? Those who kill each other or those who want others to kill each other? People allow themselves to be deceived into believing that they are fighting for a 'good cause', for 'freedom', for a better future, for what is best for them and their country... This is always a complete, utter self-deceptive bullshit. No war/violence/killing can ever be best for all because it is always based on separation and self-deception.
All we hear lately is the 'CONflict' between Iran and USA/NATO and how it all looks like there is going to be another war, possibly world war 3. The brainwash apparatus (media), controlled by those with basically unlimited money supply, generated and handed over to them through the exploitation of the economic slaves of capitalism, feeds us - the undereducated/dumbed down people - with fears and tons of justifications for war and why war is supposedly OK and even necessary as if there is apparently no other way. They portray the 'bad guys' as selfish and unwilling to participate instead of looking into the mirror. Through our brainwash media we lie directly and continuously right into our faces about the situation of Iran for example, or anything else for that matter. We simply accept and allow ourselves to be deceived and manipulated towards self-destruction because obviously, most of the people still do not realize and do not want to face the fact that we are all self-responsible for what we have accepted and allowed to exist within ourselves and this world, because whatever we see in the world is just an outflow of what we accept and allow withing ourselves.
If we don't want to suffer the consequences of self-created hell, then we have to always live according to what is Best for All. And if we want to stop all wars, we have to stop the war within ourselves first. We have to stop all the self-accepted and allowed judgments, fears, reactions, anger ... which we all create in separation with/among ourselves and what is here, through the illusions of our minds.
Thus we are self-responsible to not accept and allow any separation to exist within/between ourselves.We have to realize that we are all one and equal and this can only be done by physically/practically walking the principle of what is Best for All. To make it clearer, in the example of war/violence/killing I will always direct myself in the way that will stop it and I will never accept and allow anything that promotes it. I will speak out and expose the self-deception and abuse of Life that exists within war/violence/killing. I will put myself in the shoes of others and I will care for All Life Equally because we are all One.
We tend to look away when we see abuse and suffering just because it is not happening to us and this shows how completely separated we are from self = from what is here. All that exists here, even if it is on the other side of the world, is here because every one of us accepts and allows it to exist within ourselves. As long as there is war, violence, killing or any other abuse of Life then we know that it is here because we all accept and allow it. Especially when we don't (want to) care/notice.
Every one of us must stop. Stop everything that we have accepted and allowed as ourselves because all is self-deception and self-abuse. And as we stop in self-honesty and self-forgiveness, we have to correct ourselves and learn to always direct ourselves by the principle of what is Best for All Life in Oneness and Equality. Then we can live in piece and dignity within/among ourselves and all that is here. Doing anything else will always result in the consequence of suffering and self-abuse. Doing anything else can only create pain and eternal, self-created damnation. No one will save us, no one will save you. We all have to do it ourselves for self and for all that is here in oneness and equality or we shall be damned for eternity because even death won't end the suffering. No one can run away and hide, we all have to face what we have accepted and allowed within ourselves. The longer we postpone, the longer and stronger will be the suffering. Until we start doing what is Best for All in Oneness and Equality.
It is the self-responsibility of every one of us to speak out and not accept and allow any kind of war or any other abuse of Life in any way. We have to stand as practical examples of how to always live in a way that is Best for All and work together to bring about such practical solutions (like an Equal Money System).
Friday, March 9, 2012
2012 - Walking with
Since I am living with my new roommate I find my process of removing my mind-fucks and emotional/energy patterns much more intense/obvious which is cool, as I am able to see them more clearly and what is most important, take self-responsibility for them to remove them and so learn to direct myself in common sense.
One of the points I assist myself with is the fact that my roommates expression in a way resembles the expression of my father who I feared a lot and couldn't really communicate with him effectively. Thus I have the same patterns coming up when I talk to my roommate as I have when talking to my father. Basically I get the feeling of being attacked, threatened or somehow regarded as 'less than'. From this idea I would then usually respond through my ego from the starting point of defending myself and trying to re-establish myself as an equal in the mind of the other person, which is of course impossible. I can only be equal with myself and so to everyone/all here. I have realized that I would only respond like that when I take it personally, meaning that I haven't yet take the self-responsibility for these points through which I create my reaction. After I do that I simply don't react anymore to other's words, I just see/hear the words spoken and I reflect myself within them to see if they make any sense to me and if I can find any support within them.
Within this starting point a realized that I can recognize the moodiness/manipulation attempts from others much more effectively and so I don't accept and allow myself to be effected by them. Also as I am not reacting and also not having a specific desire for a specific effect when I speak to someone, I realize that I can so focus more on understanding the person I talk to and aligning myself to their understanding of self and so expressing myself in a way that is not 'aggressive' towards another because this only creates conflict and competition. Of course the person who feels this way is self-responsible for it because she/he caused this feelings him/her-self, but usually and especially when talking to someone who is not yet walking the Desteni'I'Process, having such an aggressive approach is not alway the best way as it distracts and takes focus away from the actual point one is trying to share with another to the point where the other person feels threatened, 'less than' and then tries to defend oneself through her/his ego as this is how ego works in trying to survive and remain the same as a self-righteous system of self-limitation.
One of the points I assist myself with is the fact that my roommates expression in a way resembles the expression of my father who I feared a lot and couldn't really communicate with him effectively. Thus I have the same patterns coming up when I talk to my roommate as I have when talking to my father. Basically I get the feeling of being attacked, threatened or somehow regarded as 'less than'. From this idea I would then usually respond through my ego from the starting point of defending myself and trying to re-establish myself as an equal in the mind of the other person, which is of course impossible. I can only be equal with myself and so to everyone/all here. I have realized that I would only respond like that when I take it personally, meaning that I haven't yet take the self-responsibility for these points through which I create my reaction. After I do that I simply don't react anymore to other's words, I just see/hear the words spoken and I reflect myself within them to see if they make any sense to me and if I can find any support within them.
Within this starting point a realized that I can recognize the moodiness/manipulation attempts from others much more effectively and so I don't accept and allow myself to be effected by them. Also as I am not reacting and also not having a specific desire for a specific effect when I speak to someone, I realize that I can so focus more on understanding the person I talk to and aligning myself to their understanding of self and so expressing myself in a way that is not 'aggressive' towards another because this only creates conflict and competition. Of course the person who feels this way is self-responsible for it because she/he caused this feelings him/her-self, but usually and especially when talking to someone who is not yet walking the Desteni'I'Process, having such an aggressive approach is not alway the best way as it distracts and takes focus away from the actual point one is trying to share with another to the point where the other person feels threatened, 'less than' and then tries to defend oneself through her/his ego as this is how ego works in trying to survive and remain the same as a self-righteous system of self-limitation.
Wednesday, February 15, 2012
2012 - Alone = All-One
I am experiencing myself lately as "being alone" and "being away from friends" where I have defined friends as special and something "more then". Thus I have now experienced the other polarity, where before I believed that being with those who I define as "more than" makes me happy and now that I am not with them, I am not happy anymore. But in self-honesty, this is my own self-deception that I created in my thoughts. As I am looking at this self-deception I realize that in reality I am always alone and thus there is no need for me to create ideas and emotions/feelings about this because I can simply be here, one and equal with the physical = all-one with self and all that is here. By being always all-one with self here, I don't go into the mind but I move myself as the physical and I enjoy myself equally no matter if I walk "close" with others or "far" from others, we are all always here, even if it appears that we are not together because we cannot see each other. So, the "who I am" must always be the same and the fact that I am currently not walking "close" with anyone should not have any influence on me from the mental and feeling perspective as then I would accept and allow myself to be controlled by my own thoughts and feelings and so I would not be able to make decisions based on common sense and what is Best for All.
These are the points that come up:
- The feeling of missing out: The thoughts come up where I think and believe that other people have a "good time", meaning that they are enjoying themselves more and feel more exited, have more fun. So I become afraid that I will miss the opportunity to do something exciting, which actually means that I believe that other people/situations will give me emotions/feelings that I will perceive as worthwhile and that I will want to remember when I get older and can't do them anymore. So I also fear of getting old and dieing before I do the things that I perceive would give me "good feelings" and "good memories" which is all a big mind-fuck. I always create my own feelings, so if I believe that someone/something else gives me a feeling than I don't live for real anyway because I live in illusion and self-deception where I am controlled by my own desires of getting an energy feeling and then trying to remember them as picture that are also not real because they are of the mind and the mind is of energy which can and will simply disappear and so I will forget all of it anyway.
So, instead of focusing on trying to have "goof feelings" I will rather focus on being happy and satisfied with self here in every moment of breath so that I will actually live here as self as who I really am within self-direction and I will not try to create good memories for myself because I will lose them anyway and because if I do this I miss what is here by being in the mind that is not real. Also I will not fear of getting old and dying because I will get old and die anyway and if I don't live in self-honesty and in self-direction in every here moment, then my Life is a lie and an illusion anyway because I don't live myself but my fears, beliefs and preprogrammed mind patterns that are not real.
- The desire for a woman/relationship: where I fear that I will not have sex and that I will have to do everything by my own and that no one will help me if I am in trouble. Fear of not having sex is actually fear of not having an energy excitement and orgasm and fear of feeling "less than" other man, which is an ego point of comparison and competition. Fear of not having an energy excitement shows how I have addicted and limited myself to my own energy feelings that I create through my thoughts and pictures in my mind, thus I stop and simply be here in the breath. Fear of having to do everything by my own is fear of taking responsibility for myself where I believe that I am not capable of doing what needs to be done and taking care of myself which is self-sabotage. I stop the thoughts and realize that by simply being here I can learn what I don't know yet and/or ask for help when I need assistance and that there is no reason whatsoever for me to think that I cannot take care of myself. I simply move myself here in the breath with common sense and I can solve any problem.Comparison and competition is a complete illusionary mind pattern that I accepted and allowed through my life where I was thought and "forced" to compete within the system, thus I simply realize that by judging self and comparing self I only limit myself by defining myself as "less than" or "more than", so I stop. I realize that I am always equal to all as Life here and so "winning" is an illusion of the ego.
- Boredom: where I define myself as "boring" and "useless" and "not doing anything" instead of simply being here in the breath and doing what is common sense and expressing myself in the physical. I stop the thoughts and self-judgments / self-definitions and look with common sense where can I correct myself or simply express myself here.
These are the points that come up:
- The feeling of missing out: The thoughts come up where I think and believe that other people have a "good time", meaning that they are enjoying themselves more and feel more exited, have more fun. So I become afraid that I will miss the opportunity to do something exciting, which actually means that I believe that other people/situations will give me emotions/feelings that I will perceive as worthwhile and that I will want to remember when I get older and can't do them anymore. So I also fear of getting old and dieing before I do the things that I perceive would give me "good feelings" and "good memories" which is all a big mind-fuck. I always create my own feelings, so if I believe that someone/something else gives me a feeling than I don't live for real anyway because I live in illusion and self-deception where I am controlled by my own desires of getting an energy feeling and then trying to remember them as picture that are also not real because they are of the mind and the mind is of energy which can and will simply disappear and so I will forget all of it anyway.
So, instead of focusing on trying to have "goof feelings" I will rather focus on being happy and satisfied with self here in every moment of breath so that I will actually live here as self as who I really am within self-direction and I will not try to create good memories for myself because I will lose them anyway and because if I do this I miss what is here by being in the mind that is not real. Also I will not fear of getting old and dying because I will get old and die anyway and if I don't live in self-honesty and in self-direction in every here moment, then my Life is a lie and an illusion anyway because I don't live myself but my fears, beliefs and preprogrammed mind patterns that are not real.
- The desire for a woman/relationship: where I fear that I will not have sex and that I will have to do everything by my own and that no one will help me if I am in trouble. Fear of not having sex is actually fear of not having an energy excitement and orgasm and fear of feeling "less than" other man, which is an ego point of comparison and competition. Fear of not having an energy excitement shows how I have addicted and limited myself to my own energy feelings that I create through my thoughts and pictures in my mind, thus I stop and simply be here in the breath. Fear of having to do everything by my own is fear of taking responsibility for myself where I believe that I am not capable of doing what needs to be done and taking care of myself which is self-sabotage. I stop the thoughts and realize that by simply being here I can learn what I don't know yet and/or ask for help when I need assistance and that there is no reason whatsoever for me to think that I cannot take care of myself. I simply move myself here in the breath with common sense and I can solve any problem.Comparison and competition is a complete illusionary mind pattern that I accepted and allowed through my life where I was thought and "forced" to compete within the system, thus I simply realize that by judging self and comparing self I only limit myself by defining myself as "less than" or "more than", so I stop. I realize that I am always equal to all as Life here and so "winning" is an illusion of the ego.
- Boredom: where I define myself as "boring" and "useless" and "not doing anything" instead of simply being here in the breath and doing what is common sense and expressing myself in the physical. I stop the thoughts and self-judgments / self-definitions and look with common sense where can I correct myself or simply express myself here.
Friday, January 27, 2012
2012 - Why was I able to hear the Desteni message
Before I heard about Desteni I was a doubtful person, I didn't just believe something because someone said so. I always tried to look at the bigger picture, to look behind the scene, trying to figure out what is really going on. I didn't like myself the way I was, I had no self-certainty and was afraid of lots of things, mostly people. I tried to look at myself to see who I really am, because I had no idea. I saw that I am afraid of things, that I don't understand myself and that somehow I can't control myself, my feelings, emotions, fears. This was really strange to me. I saw the ridiculousness of how people complicate each others lives and I was angry at myself because I didn't know what to do to make things better neither for myself or others. But I had a strong desire to do something, to find out once and for all what the fuck is wrong with us people, who is in control, why is everything so fucked up? Why can't we people just consider this reality and work together to live in harmony? Why does everyone seem just so goddamn corrupt and evil? How can people live and not openly ask these question? There has to be someone that sees what I see, that doesn't just accept this reality as something normal. Someone has to do something for fuck sake! Even if no one else wants to, I will do something. I don't know what exactly or how, but I have to do something. I will not just accept this world the way it is because it is just too fucking messed up!
Then I came across Desteni videos on YouTube and I started watching them, listening. I didn't care about the Portal or who it is that is talking. It was all just a bit weird at first and as I realized that there is no fucking way for me to know and be sure if someone is making a prank or not, I realized that all I can do is listen carefully to what is being said and see if it makes any sense. And the more I listened the more sense it made. There was a lot of things I already observed and realized about the world or in myself before. Other things that were new (like stopping the mind with self-aware breathing or self-forgiveness) I tried out and became aware of as it was pointed out to me in the videos and the Desteni message. I was amazed how insightful the information was and the pure size of it was unbelievable. I spent at least three months just watching, reading, listening and there was still more. I have never seen so much useful common sense in one place anywhere else, ever. And I was able to test it out for myself and prove it to myself. There were also a lot of shared stories that weren't really relevant at that time, but they helped me a lot as I wanted to understand the background of Desteni, how it all came together and how it all manifested into this one point, the Desteni group. There is no need whatsoever for one to believe that the stories about Desteni or the History of Mankind or History of the Universe are true, because none of them are really relevant. The relevant tools and principles are those that we can test ourselves and live ourselves right now in this moment. With the tools of self-honesty, self-forgiveness and self-corrective application we are able to manifest heaven on Earth for everyone Equally and this is truly amazing. Nonetheless, the stories assisted me a lot as I always wanted to understand why and how the hell does everything exist exactly the way it does. It is great to finally know. But does it matter? Not at all. Matter is the only thing that matters. And currently, it is still fucked up, just the way we made it. Now it is time to take self-responsibility and make this world the way that is Best for All.
Before all of this, my discovery and involvement in Desteni, I often had a feeling that something great and powerful will happen in my lifetime. Something that will change things dramatically. So, I was always open for new things, I was always looking for that special event that will make a great impact on what it means to be alive. The more I came to understand what Desteni is all about, the more sure I was that this is what I've been waiting for. It was all much more exciting and groundbreaking that I could ever imagine. And I explored lots of things: UFOs, conspiracies, ends of the world, revolutionary technologies, revelations... I was certain that something great will happen on one of these topics, but I was wrong. It happened all at once! Desteni for me at that time represented a great revelation: the end of deception, the end of bullshit and suffering, the end of corruption, the end of control and suppression, the end of hate. And now I am grateful to be able to participate in this birthing of Life from the physical for the first time in existence, to have a chance to learn, to change myself and to forgive myself for all that was, so that I can birth myself as Life and stand for Life with others that care, in oneness and equality. To do what is Best for All Life in practicality, to learn to direct myself and say out loud: I stand for a Dignified Life for All! This is who I am and this is who I want to be! Desteni helps me to be and make out of myself the best possible being I can be. There is absolutely no other thing or person in the whole world that would ever be able to help me as much as Desteni did by showing me how I can uplift myself (by myself!) as a living being into a self-honest, self-responsible and self-directive human being that cares for All Life Equally and truly does what is practically Best for All.
And Desteni is just a word. But what I have realized and learned and how I changed myself by participating in the group, this changed me forever and it truly made me a better human being and I am continuously improving myself to always stand for Life in Equality and do what is practically Best for All.
In the beginning I said that before I found Desteni I was a doubtful person. Maybe it would seem to someone that I am not anymore, but this would only show that one doesn't understand at all what I have learned as a Destonian. Through participating in Desteni I actually learned what it really means to questions and reconsider myself, my principles and the way we accept and allow this world to exist. And I am still learning what it means to be a responsible human being and how to actually always stand in self-honesty and do what is Best for All. This is a process that takes time and I am grateful that I can be a part of it.
Why was I able to hear the Desteni message? You still don't know what it is? It is simply to understand that we are all equally responsible for everything that exists here and thus we have to be self-honest and correct self through self-forgiveness and learn to work together as one to stop all the abuse of Life and create what is Best for All: Heaven on Earth for All Equally. We have all the practical tools needed to do so, we just have to start doing by having the right starting point: what is practically Best for All Life in Oneness and Equality. Why can I hear and understand this and so many others cannot or do not want to? Are you willing to change yourself into a self-honest, self-responsible living being that does what is Best for All and helps with what needs to be done to make heaven on Earth for everyone equally? If you are not, then look at yourself in self-honesty and understand what is the reason that prevents you from standing up for All Life Equally and change yourself accordingly. All the reasons you will find I have overcome, because I realized that egosim is just an illusion. I understand that what is Best for All is also best for myself and so, egoism can always be best just for one ego which then leads into the abuse of Life. I never wanted to accept any abuse of Life and never will. This is how I was able to hear the Desteni message.
Then I came across Desteni videos on YouTube and I started watching them, listening. I didn't care about the Portal or who it is that is talking. It was all just a bit weird at first and as I realized that there is no fucking way for me to know and be sure if someone is making a prank or not, I realized that all I can do is listen carefully to what is being said and see if it makes any sense. And the more I listened the more sense it made. There was a lot of things I already observed and realized about the world or in myself before. Other things that were new (like stopping the mind with self-aware breathing or self-forgiveness) I tried out and became aware of as it was pointed out to me in the videos and the Desteni message. I was amazed how insightful the information was and the pure size of it was unbelievable. I spent at least three months just watching, reading, listening and there was still more. I have never seen so much useful common sense in one place anywhere else, ever. And I was able to test it out for myself and prove it to myself. There were also a lot of shared stories that weren't really relevant at that time, but they helped me a lot as I wanted to understand the background of Desteni, how it all came together and how it all manifested into this one point, the Desteni group. There is no need whatsoever for one to believe that the stories about Desteni or the History of Mankind or History of the Universe are true, because none of them are really relevant. The relevant tools and principles are those that we can test ourselves and live ourselves right now in this moment. With the tools of self-honesty, self-forgiveness and self-corrective application we are able to manifest heaven on Earth for everyone Equally and this is truly amazing. Nonetheless, the stories assisted me a lot as I always wanted to understand why and how the hell does everything exist exactly the way it does. It is great to finally know. But does it matter? Not at all. Matter is the only thing that matters. And currently, it is still fucked up, just the way we made it. Now it is time to take self-responsibility and make this world the way that is Best for All.
Before all of this, my discovery and involvement in Desteni, I often had a feeling that something great and powerful will happen in my lifetime. Something that will change things dramatically. So, I was always open for new things, I was always looking for that special event that will make a great impact on what it means to be alive. The more I came to understand what Desteni is all about, the more sure I was that this is what I've been waiting for. It was all much more exciting and groundbreaking that I could ever imagine. And I explored lots of things: UFOs, conspiracies, ends of the world, revolutionary technologies, revelations... I was certain that something great will happen on one of these topics, but I was wrong. It happened all at once! Desteni for me at that time represented a great revelation: the end of deception, the end of bullshit and suffering, the end of corruption, the end of control and suppression, the end of hate. And now I am grateful to be able to participate in this birthing of Life from the physical for the first time in existence, to have a chance to learn, to change myself and to forgive myself for all that was, so that I can birth myself as Life and stand for Life with others that care, in oneness and equality. To do what is Best for All Life in practicality, to learn to direct myself and say out loud: I stand for a Dignified Life for All! This is who I am and this is who I want to be! Desteni helps me to be and make out of myself the best possible being I can be. There is absolutely no other thing or person in the whole world that would ever be able to help me as much as Desteni did by showing me how I can uplift myself (by myself!) as a living being into a self-honest, self-responsible and self-directive human being that cares for All Life Equally and truly does what is practically Best for All.
And Desteni is just a word. But what I have realized and learned and how I changed myself by participating in the group, this changed me forever and it truly made me a better human being and I am continuously improving myself to always stand for Life in Equality and do what is practically Best for All.
In the beginning I said that before I found Desteni I was a doubtful person. Maybe it would seem to someone that I am not anymore, but this would only show that one doesn't understand at all what I have learned as a Destonian. Through participating in Desteni I actually learned what it really means to questions and reconsider myself, my principles and the way we accept and allow this world to exist. And I am still learning what it means to be a responsible human being and how to actually always stand in self-honesty and do what is Best for All. This is a process that takes time and I am grateful that I can be a part of it.
Why was I able to hear the Desteni message? You still don't know what it is? It is simply to understand that we are all equally responsible for everything that exists here and thus we have to be self-honest and correct self through self-forgiveness and learn to work together as one to stop all the abuse of Life and create what is Best for All: Heaven on Earth for All Equally. We have all the practical tools needed to do so, we just have to start doing by having the right starting point: what is practically Best for All Life in Oneness and Equality. Why can I hear and understand this and so many others cannot or do not want to? Are you willing to change yourself into a self-honest, self-responsible living being that does what is Best for All and helps with what needs to be done to make heaven on Earth for everyone equally? If you are not, then look at yourself in self-honesty and understand what is the reason that prevents you from standing up for All Life Equally and change yourself accordingly. All the reasons you will find I have overcome, because I realized that egosim is just an illusion. I understand that what is Best for All is also best for myself and so, egoism can always be best just for one ego which then leads into the abuse of Life. I never wanted to accept any abuse of Life and never will. This is how I was able to hear the Desteni message.
Monday, January 23, 2012
2012 Moving in with Self Direction
I am now moving into the new apartment. I already moved a lot of the stuff and were there to clean and unpack a bit today. My roommate said she'll be moving in in the next month. Had some mixed feelings and emotions coming up while there and while driving. At times I was excited and happy because I never had 'my own' apartment before, at least not that big. I had a happy thought + feeling about it when I drove last day with Barbi from the apartment and I got a short sharp pain in my chest on the left bellow the heart which reminded me when Barbi and I were leaving the Desteni Farm and Bernard pointed out to Barbi that she has allowed some happy feelings and explained that this is where they manifest in the body. Today I was also excited at first to unpack and make it comfortable, but then I allowed myself to go into sadness of being alone and away from friends as this is the pattern I created form myself as a teenager. Basically I get scared of having no friends and no one to hang out with. Particularly I would not enjoy having no girls I like around me, lol. Another idea / desire of mine from the high school. I have always been around boys but not girls. Too shy, too scared and just too mind-fucked. I had no self-direction whatsoever. But I always dreamed about having a girl and how nice it will be and where I will take her and all the stuff. But when I actually had a chance to even talk to a girl I just couldn't do it. Too scared. Fuck, that was horrible and it's funny how I see now that I myself accepted and allowed myself to be like that. Blaming anyone else would just be dishonest towards myself. Desteni tools helped me allot! Sometimes when I look at myself now and how I was in high school for example, I am surprised that I actually managed to look normal to other people, because I was completely fucked in my head with fears and desires but also had no self-direction whatsoever. I laugh now but back then it was horrible. No one should be left like that, to torture self through one's own mind and the tools I learned in the Desteni'I'Process are top shit for getting self back to self here as Life in the physical. If I am able to correct myself than anyone else can too.
Talking about my feelings, emotions and apartment, it will be a cool experience for be and will speed up my process as I will be facing my mind-fucks as I explained above. Plus, my roommate is moving in with me and I find her dis-likable lately. So this will also be cool support from the perspective of learning to live together in common sense, not in love & light nonsense where people get together because of some 'special' feelings and sexual desires. We're slowly moving past that phase now and entering the self-direction area. One way traffic, not that you can't go back but nobody wants to, haha! Self-directive people that work together and do what is practically Best for All Life will make heaven on Earth. Are you in for it yet? Let's do this!
Talking about my feelings, emotions and apartment, it will be a cool experience for be and will speed up my process as I will be facing my mind-fucks as I explained above. Plus, my roommate is moving in with me and I find her dis-likable lately. So this will also be cool support from the perspective of learning to live together in common sense, not in love & light nonsense where people get together because of some 'special' feelings and sexual desires. We're slowly moving past that phase now and entering the self-direction area. One way traffic, not that you can't go back but nobody wants to, haha! Self-directive people that work together and do what is practically Best for All Life will make heaven on Earth. Are you in for it yet? Let's do this!
Saturday, January 21, 2012
2012 - Dealing with my Relationships / Agreements
I'll share some points I've been dealing with since Barbi and I decided to stop and delete all and any relationship mind constructs that we still have towards each other. This means we're stopping the habits that we developed in our relationship and learn how to be supportive to each other like we would be to anyone else. We don't live together every day as she lives with her roommates in Maribor and I work in another city where my parents live so I stay there and go to Maribor every other day or so.
So as Barbi proposed to break up the relationship I was firstly scared and sad as I perceived the "breaking up" part from a system perspective where two partners go away and don't see each other anymore and don't want to talk to each other. But as we talked it through we agreed that we are doing this to support each other in breaking up the relationship habits and attachments to each other in order to be more self-directive and self-sufficient and that we will do it practically, meaning that we will still support each other where it is common sense and Best for All, for instance she owns a car and I don't, but I need it to drive to work and she doesn't, so she will still lend me her car, but we won't for example go to her home or my home together because we did that mostly because of the relationship attachment and not from a common sense perspective. Also we still sleep in the same bed together because it is practical but we don't hug or have sex in order to remove the attachments and habits. I'll be moving into my own apartment in the town I work next week, so then I'll mostly visit Barbi at the weekends.
So, some points that came up for me within this time:
At first I occasionally allowed myself to have thoughts about "the break up", where I experienced sadness when memories came up about how I see and define and remember my relationship with Barbi, because I experienced it like I won't have that anymore. I used breathing to bring myself here and to not think about it and what also helped was that I explained to myself that "breaking up" is only an idea that I have about loosing the relationship that I had with Barbi and that definitions and relations of it weren't real anyway as I imagined them in my head as ideas and perception about us, which have nothing to do with the physical reality. It is great that we do this as an agreement and talk to each other. This way we put out the mind-fucks we get and share them and we work through them and support each other. If I couldn't talk to her and write out the mind-fucks I would just perpetuate them in the mind which would get me even more sad, scared and depressed. The Desteni'I'Process tools and what I have learned until now in my process are of great help in dealing with this points and mind-constructs.
Sometimes the fear of being alone comes up where I remember how I felt and perceived myself in the past, before I was in a relationship. So, the old patterns of thinking came up, where I desire to be in a relationship and to have someone that will "love" me and help me and also to always have someone for sex. Also fear of being stuck with my parents and having no friends, which is only memories now as I am not stuck with my parents anymore and also know a lot more people I can hang out with. I manage to stop the feeling and fear but the thoughts still come up about being with other people as now I don't fear them anymore as I already mostly dealt with that self-suppression. This I also perceive as a polarity which is also connected with girls and sex.
So as a teenager I was very afraid of meeting new people or talking to them, especially girls. I always wished to have friends and hang out with them and be with girls and explore sexuality but I was too afraid and too self-judgmental to express myself like this with others. So I created a polarity where I experienced a lack of social expression and now I find it exciting because I am able to do it. Also with the idea that I can have sex now with whomever I want as I have no relationship obligation to Barbi anymore. Again polarity, mind-fucks work like that to perpetuate themselves through our acceptance and allowance. So, what I realized also about stopping the mind-fucks is that I can look at a point and search for a polarity, to see where I have allowed myself to create one, and then stop it and just be self-directive here, doing what is Best for All. In the context of what I've said in this paragraph I also observed myself how I started to search more and care more for people that I can talk and be with (other than Barbi) out of fear that no-one will accept me and because I still allow myself to follow the desires to have friends, relationships and sex, which all derives from my fears of being alone. So, I started to contact more people and hang out with two girls in particular, but it's not all mind-fucks and desires because I am doing my process as I interact with others and I push myself to do self-corrections. So the starting point is to be self-honest, self-directive and do self-correction, to do what is Best for All. It is interesting how I get immediately 'bored' if I am with someone who is not interested about self-honesty, self-change and self-correction. All I can talk with such people is useless stuff, verbal diarrhea, unlived knowledge. Barbi's roommates are cool as they are open and also understand quite a lot of self-honest principles as Barbi and I explain them and talk with them about our process. Then I have another friend Luka, who had some problems with mental health and is very interested in the Desteni tools so I help him with his process.
OK that's it for this blog.
So as Barbi proposed to break up the relationship I was firstly scared and sad as I perceived the "breaking up" part from a system perspective where two partners go away and don't see each other anymore and don't want to talk to each other. But as we talked it through we agreed that we are doing this to support each other in breaking up the relationship habits and attachments to each other in order to be more self-directive and self-sufficient and that we will do it practically, meaning that we will still support each other where it is common sense and Best for All, for instance she owns a car and I don't, but I need it to drive to work and she doesn't, so she will still lend me her car, but we won't for example go to her home or my home together because we did that mostly because of the relationship attachment and not from a common sense perspective. Also we still sleep in the same bed together because it is practical but we don't hug or have sex in order to remove the attachments and habits. I'll be moving into my own apartment in the town I work next week, so then I'll mostly visit Barbi at the weekends.
So, some points that came up for me within this time:
At first I occasionally allowed myself to have thoughts about "the break up", where I experienced sadness when memories came up about how I see and define and remember my relationship with Barbi, because I experienced it like I won't have that anymore. I used breathing to bring myself here and to not think about it and what also helped was that I explained to myself that "breaking up" is only an idea that I have about loosing the relationship that I had with Barbi and that definitions and relations of it weren't real anyway as I imagined them in my head as ideas and perception about us, which have nothing to do with the physical reality. It is great that we do this as an agreement and talk to each other. This way we put out the mind-fucks we get and share them and we work through them and support each other. If I couldn't talk to her and write out the mind-fucks I would just perpetuate them in the mind which would get me even more sad, scared and depressed. The Desteni'I'Process tools and what I have learned until now in my process are of great help in dealing with this points and mind-constructs.
Sometimes the fear of being alone comes up where I remember how I felt and perceived myself in the past, before I was in a relationship. So, the old patterns of thinking came up, where I desire to be in a relationship and to have someone that will "love" me and help me and also to always have someone for sex. Also fear of being stuck with my parents and having no friends, which is only memories now as I am not stuck with my parents anymore and also know a lot more people I can hang out with. I manage to stop the feeling and fear but the thoughts still come up about being with other people as now I don't fear them anymore as I already mostly dealt with that self-suppression. This I also perceive as a polarity which is also connected with girls and sex.
So as a teenager I was very afraid of meeting new people or talking to them, especially girls. I always wished to have friends and hang out with them and be with girls and explore sexuality but I was too afraid and too self-judgmental to express myself like this with others. So I created a polarity where I experienced a lack of social expression and now I find it exciting because I am able to do it. Also with the idea that I can have sex now with whomever I want as I have no relationship obligation to Barbi anymore. Again polarity, mind-fucks work like that to perpetuate themselves through our acceptance and allowance. So, what I realized also about stopping the mind-fucks is that I can look at a point and search for a polarity, to see where I have allowed myself to create one, and then stop it and just be self-directive here, doing what is Best for All. In the context of what I've said in this paragraph I also observed myself how I started to search more and care more for people that I can talk and be with (other than Barbi) out of fear that no-one will accept me and because I still allow myself to follow the desires to have friends, relationships and sex, which all derives from my fears of being alone. So, I started to contact more people and hang out with two girls in particular, but it's not all mind-fucks and desires because I am doing my process as I interact with others and I push myself to do self-corrections. So the starting point is to be self-honest, self-directive and do self-correction, to do what is Best for All. It is interesting how I get immediately 'bored' if I am with someone who is not interested about self-honesty, self-change and self-correction. All I can talk with such people is useless stuff, verbal diarrhea, unlived knowledge. Barbi's roommates are cool as they are open and also understand quite a lot of self-honest principles as Barbi and I explain them and talk with them about our process. Then I have another friend Luka, who had some problems with mental health and is very interested in the Desteni tools so I help him with his process.
OK that's it for this blog.
Saturday, December 31, 2011
2012 - End of Illusions
The end of all our mind illusions is coming. We have been living in our heads, in our minds, where we imagined ourselves as the super heroes and where we built our own imaginary relationships of love and hate, good and evil, right and wrong - all illusions. All of it is coming to an end as reality and nature will force us more and more to look at what is Here, what is Real and to consider All that is Here Equally. Never before have we as human beings taken self-responsibility for our own actions, thoughts and feelings. Never before have we considered what is Here and what is Practically Best for All Life. We have been living in our minds, our dream worlds, where we accepted and allowed all sorts of abuse that exists today in our reality. We have separated ourselves from what is Here and turned away from those that need help and are abused. We are still turning away from those that we abuse, because all we see is our personal gain, our personal well being. We became robots that are enslaved to our own good feelings. Did we actually believe that there will never come a time where all our illusions will end? Where we will all have to face everything that we accepted and allowed throughout the history of mankind? This time is here and there is no one left to blame. We are all guilty. Guilty of ignorance, guilty of abusing Life and each other. We can run but we cannot hide because we accepted and allowed abuse everywhere. It is time to stop and to correct self, to forgive self and each other and to start living practically according to What is Best for All Life. This means self-change and self-direction. There is no other way but to face self as who we really are and to make sure that we will never again accept and allow any abuse. The only way we can to this is together, in oneness and equality. Join us, let's bring about what is Best for All Life!
www.desteni.org
www.equalmoney.org
www.destonians.com
www.desteni.org
www.equalmoney.org
www.destonians.com
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