2012 Moving in with Self Direction

I am now moving into the new apartment. I already moved a lot of the stuff and were there to clean and unpack a bit today. My roommate said she'll be moving in in the next month. Had some mixed feelings and emotions coming up while there and while driving. At times I was excited and happy because I never had 'my own' apartment before, at least not that big. I had a happy thought + feeling about it when I drove last day with Barbi from the apartment and I got a short sharp pain in my chest on the left bellow the heart which reminded me when Barbi and I were leaving the Desteni Farm and Bernard pointed out to Barbi that she has allowed some happy feelings and explained that this is where they manifest in the body. Today I was also excited at first to unpack and make it comfortable, but then I allowed myself to go into sadness of being alone and away from friends as this is the pattern I created form myself as a teenager. Basically I get scared of having no friends and no one to hang out with. Particularly I would not enjoy having no girls I like around me, lol. Another idea / desire of mine from the high school. I have always been around boys but not girls. Too shy, too scared and just too mind-fucked. I had no self-direction whatsoever. But I always dreamed about having a girl and how nice it will be and where I will take her and all the stuff. But when I actually had a chance to even talk to a girl I just couldn't do it. Too scared. Fuck, that was horrible and it's funny how I see now that I myself accepted and allowed myself to be like that. Blaming anyone else would just be dishonest towards myself. Desteni tools helped me allot! Sometimes when I look at myself now and how I was in high school for example, I am surprised that I actually managed to look normal to other people, because I was completely fucked in my head with fears and desires but also had no self-direction whatsoever. I laugh now but back then it was horrible. No one should be left like that, to torture self through one's own mind and the tools I learned in the Desteni'I'Process are top shit for getting self back to self here as Life in the physical. If I am able to correct myself than anyone else can too.

Talking about my feelings, emotions and apartment, it will be a cool experience for be and will speed up my process as I will be facing my mind-fucks as I explained above. Plus, my roommate is moving in with me and I find her dis-likable lately. So this will also be cool support from the perspective of learning to live together in common sense, not in love & light nonsense where people get together because of some 'special' feelings and sexual desires. We're slowly moving past that phase now and entering the self-direction area. One way traffic, not that you can't go back but nobody wants to, haha! Self-directive people that work together and do what is practically Best for All Life will make heaven on Earth. Are you in for it yet? Let's do this!

2011 - Answering Susanne Hahn

I have received the following private message on FaceBook from Susanne:

"Dear Blaz
Sorry, but I do not feel really attracted to this connection. What I feel and see about Destini and the followers, I like the goal but not the way – I don’t feel attracted to this path, for me too much equality and too much uniform symbolism, too much to read and I don’t like programs at all. Sorry but I follow only my inner smile and feel too free at this point of time for this. That does not mean, that your way is wrong, it is just not mine.

Wish you all the best, love, joy and peace.
May there be peace among all, Om Shanti - shanti, shanti

With devine love
Susanne"

Hi Susanne,

I am not sure why you decided to write me this private message but if you are looking for a confirmation of your attempt of taking a self-righteous position, I am not going to give you one because that is your ego trying to justify itself which is self-deception. Don't react to what I'm saying, just be self-honest about self. The only reason why you can say "Your goal is OK but I don't like the way because I don't feel attracted so I'm not willing to join" is because you have enough money to live as you wish and so just don't care about those that don't. If you would actually understand what we are doing you would see that the only way to change the system and the world as we have accepted and allowed it to exist is to do what we are doing = sorting out self with the tools provided and then standing together as a group which mean acting as one as equals to bring about what is practically Best for All. Look again in self-honesty what is your starting point, what are you protecting by not joining? What are you afraid off? If you wish someone all the best, love, joy and Om Shanti (whatever that means...), that doesn't make you a 'good' or 'better' person. The reality is that you are not willing to do anything practically that needs to be done to bring about a dignified life to all. All you do is deceive people with your 'divine love' sharing which you use to make yourself feel as a 'good person' and to support your ego, your self-righteousness.

So Susanne, are you willing to face your-self and do what needs to be done practically to actually stand for All Life and bring about the needed change so that we can all have a dignified life? Or are you going to protect your ego through self-righteousness and hide behind nice words and only do what you feel attracted to and turn a blind eye to everything else just because you have enough money to continue with your self-deception?