Saturday, September 17, 2016

Day 264 - Backchat on perceiving I am being exploited


For the last few days I helped at my friend's place to paint a room and get it ready for another friend who will live there. While I was painting, both friends had other things to do as well so I was mostly left to work on the room alone. During this time I allowed a backchat to come up within me where I perceived it is not fair that only I work on the room and that I am being exploited, so I got angry. I'll be writing self-forgiveness on this pattern.

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to think/believe/perceive that when I agree to help someone and he/she then goes to do other things, that I am being exploited and then feel inferior and angry and create backchat around it, such as: "this is not fair, why should I work for free while they don't care to help...". When and as I see myself going into anger, feeling inferior and perceiving that it is not fair that I work on something I agreed I will help with while other's do other things - I stop and breathe. I realize that I am within this looking at the situation only through my selfish perspective where I am not willing to help someone if he does not work with me, instead of seeing/realizing that others might have to do some things that have to be done also, while I don't, so I can in the mean time still work on the thing I am helping with, without creating the point of judgement, comparison, inferiority and then perception of unfairness within me. I see that with this I only allow myself to exist in and as the backchat in my mind for the sole reason of creating emotional reactions and more needles distracting energy for the mind. Thus I commit myself to no think/believe/perceive that when I agree to help someone and he/she then goes to do some other things, that I am now being exploited and that this is not fair as I understand that other might have other things they have to do as well while I can continue with what I am helping with alone for a while, focusing on self-expression instead of backchat.

I forgive myself for asking others to help me with something and then leaving them to work on it by themselves while I go do something else, without explaining that I have to do something important and asking them to continue on their own for a moment, until I come back. I commit myself to ask people who help me with something if they can continue to work on their own for a moment when I have to do some other thing that needs to be done, instead of just leaving them on their own.

I forgive myself for judging and blaming people who leave me alone, without explanation, to work on something they asked me to help with, as rude, arrogant, unfair, exploitative, selfish - I stop and breathe. I realize and understand that what they did is not personal and that my judgement of them is my own pattern I have to stop as it is not supportive. Thus I commit myself to not judge and blame people who leave me alone, without explanation, to work on something they asked me to help with, as rude, arrogant, unfair, exploitative, selfish. Instead I ask them if there is something important they have to do that cannot wait and if they would like me to continue while they are not there nad for how long and also to ask them to give me a notice about such things next time.

Friday, March 11, 2016

Day 261 - Resistance towards programming / coding

I am looking for programmer jobs and I feel resistance. I see I have judgement towards programming:

  • programming is hard, I get nervous, anxious and frustrated when programming

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to think/believe/perceive that programming is hard, because there is so much I don't know and understand and find hard to understand. When and as I see myself thinking/believing/perceiving that programming is hard, because there is so much I don't know and understand and find hard to understand - I stop and breathe. I realize and understand that I am experiencing myself this way because of my thoughts with which I judge programming and myself, instead of simply breathing, slowing myself down and directing myself when programming. I commit myself to stop all judgments towards programming and myself when programming and simply breathe and not go into thinking/imagining about all the things I don't know yet and so on, because I am only making myself feel inferior and anxious by doing so.

  • I get angry when I can't find an error or when I don't understand something even after looking at it for a while

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to get angry with myself and the code when I don't understand something even after looking at it for a while. When and as I see myself getting angry with myself and the code when I can't find an error or when I don't understand something even after looking at it for a while - I stop and breathe. I realize and understand that getting angry with myself and the code is useless and that I don't have to judge myself as inferior, stupid and fear for my "job" when I don't get something right away, because this will not help. It is a completely useless pattern. Thus I commit myself to stop and breathe when I don't understand the error/code and look at the next logical step for me to do/look at to find a solution. And if I find it complicated, I write down the points I can take to find a solutions and then simply walk them one by one, breathing and enjoying myself. Because fuck it, if I do the best that I can and if that is not enough for someone else, so be it, I can be satisfied to know I did my best.


I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to fear loosing my job or equal consideration/support/acceptance when I don't know what to do to come to a solution. When and as I see myself fearing loosing my job or equal consideration/support/acceptance when I don't know what to do to come to a solution - I stop and breathe. I realize that I do know what is the next step I can take when I slow down, but then I start fearing that I am not fast/good enough for what other's expect of me. Thus...

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to fear that I will not be fast/good enough when I have to do extra steps to come to a solutions while at the same time comparing myself to others and thinking that others would find solutions faster and so making myself feel inferior and fear that I will lose my job or equal consideration/support/acceptance When and as I see myself fearing that I will not be fast/good enough when I have to do extra steps to come to a solutions while at the same time comparing myself to others and thinking that others would find solutions faster - I stop and breathe. I realize and understand that this fear and comparison that I create is completely useless. It is not supportive in any way, it will not change the outcome to a positive one, I will only make myself feel anxious and inferior and sabotage myself and that is all. Thus I commit myself to not go into fear that I will not be fast/good enough and to not compare myself with others when I have to do extra steps to come to a solutions, instead I just breathe, put the steps down and do them one by one while enjoying/accepting myself without judgment.

  • there is so much to learn, there is always something new, different and learning is hard

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to think/believe/perceive that learning is hard and make myself feel inferior and create resistance towards learning to program. When and as I see myself thinking/believing/perceiving that learning is hard and make myself feel inferior and create resistance towards learning to program - I stop and breathe. I realize and understand that I am projecting my frustration with myself when I make myself feel inferior/incompetent when I don't understand something when I think I should or that others do. Thus I commit myself to stop making myself feel angry, frustrated and inferior when I take a while to understand something, as well as I commit myself to especially in that moment when I don't understand something even after a while, to no compare myself with other and think: "others would get this by now...", as I know telling this to myself is useless, not important and will not change anything, I will only make myself feel inferior and angry and that is not necessary. So instead I rather take a moment and breathe and see what other steps I can take to get to an understanding/solution and ask others for advice as well if I can.

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to fear asking others for advice because I compare and judge myself that I should know something already or be so smart to come to understand it myself, without help. When and as I see myself fearing to ask others for advice, because I compare and judge myself - I stop and breathe. I realize and understand that when I look at the steps I can take to understand something/solve a problem I can always asks others for advice if I think there might be thing I haven't considered yet. Besides, people usually like to help and feel smart(er) and if not that's fine. Thus I commit myself to ask for advice when I look at how I can better understand something/come to a solution, from those who I see have (more) experience than me in what I do. It's stupid not to, they've do all the work to learn something so why not be of help and give some advice. And if they don't want to I can ask why and explain how easier it is for everyone when we start to share and cooperate instead of compete.

  • I don't want to sit in front of a computer most of my day

Why not? I already do it anyway. But I'd like to do something outside in nature. Some work. I can simply make notes of things I see I can do outside and go do them and get some exercise/balance, instead of sitting inside all day. So I commit myself to see what I can do outside, who I can meet and start doing something I find interesting for myself outside.

  • I don't want to be the geek who drinks coffee and coke and talks only about programming

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to judge geeks who drink coffee and coke and only talk about programming as inferior, fake, narrow minded, special and trying to be superior in their specialness, while I am actually feeling inferior to them as I don't feel like I belong to anything special and so I judge others. When and as I see myself judging geeks who drink coffee and coke and only talk about programming as inferior, fake, narrow minded, special and trying to be superior in their specialness - I stop and breathe. I realize and understand that these judgments I am making are completely useless and not supportive, because I don't have to personify with geeks or cooperate in that idea that I am special because I am a geek and that that is now my label I must identify with and so on. Thus I commit myself to stop feeling inferior because I don't see myself belonging to any particular "special" group and so I can stop judging geeks and other groups as superior/inferior or stupid because they feel/think they are in some ways special while I know no one is. No need for me to judge and/or identify me or others with labels that separates me from others in some special way, even if I do the same things that fit into some label category, like "a programmer", because labels are not required and not who we are. We are Life and anyone can do anything, but we are always all just Life, living beings and so no one is fucking special.

  • I don't like programming

Well, it's not that I don't like programming, it's that I don't like how I get to feel myself when I come to a problem. That's what I wrote out above. So, as I stop creating the patterns of anxiety, self-judgment and anger while programming, this point will stop by itself.

  • I don't like how people group and label each other into labels like "I am a programmer", I am this and that and then build their personas and character around.

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to label myself and others and use this labels to make myself feel special or superior/inferior and then start judging this as stupid and projecting it onto other as if they are stupid for having certain characteristics that fit a label, while I am still the one giving/seeing/judging the labels and personifying myself with them or think I don't, where I then either feel special and superior or not special and inferior when I don't find myself as being a part of a label I'd like. When and as I see myself labeling others and/or see perceive some group of people as superior/inferior because I see that as a label, like "programmers", instead of living beings - I stop and breathe. I realize and understand that I am creating superiority/inferiority and judgment towards others because I still put labels on them, thus I commit myself to no more identify myself or others with labels and try to compare and see who is more/less special/superior/inferior. Instead I see all people as living beings, no matter what they do or which groups they associate with or see themselves as part of.

Sunday, March 6, 2016

Day 260 - Comparing myself with business men

Bellow I share a specific point/memory I wrote out to correct my thinking and behavior from (self)abuse to self-support.




--> Comparing myself with business men
-->--> I am watching a movie where there are greedy business men
-->-->--> One business man was very handsome looking but corrupt and greedy
-->-->-->--> I think: he’s got a Ken-like face, I am uglier in comparison
-->-->-->-->--> I wish I was better looking so that girls would want me more
-->-->-->-->-->--> I hate how some good looking men or business men are greedy and haughty
-->-->-->-->-->-->--> They abuse women for their amusement
-->-->-->-->-->-->-->--> I would not do that, neither would I fuck people over for personal gain
-->-->-->-->-->-->-->-->--> Maybe I’m not as handsome, but I’m a better guy than people like him

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to see/judge/define people who are/look like business men as greedy, based on their appearance, and within this judge them as bad, inferior. When and as I see myself seeing/judging/defining people who are/look like business men as greedy, based on their appearance, and within this judge them as bad, inferior - I stop and breathe. I realize that I am projecting my judgements about greed, where I become angry, but this is useless and unnecessary. This I commit myself to not judge greed and bad/negative and to not connect/project onto people who I see/perceive as business men as greedy and so bad/inferior. Instead I see them as the living beings, brought up and preprogramed like everyone else, push myself to understand the reasons of their thinking and support them in seeing common sense and becoming their best potential.

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to compare my face to a business men/actor's face and judge mine as uglier. When and as I see myself comparing my face to another's and judge one as inferior/superior - I stop and breathe. I realize and understand that I am creating a competition/judgment where I want to win and not feel bad about myself, instead of stopping the comparison itself. Thus I commit myself to not compare my face to another's and judge one as superior/inferior.

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to think "I wish I was better looking so that girls would want me more" and within this create a belief that I don't look good enough, as well as desire towards girls. When and as I see myself thinking "I wish I was better looking so that girls would want me more" - I stop and breathe. I realize that I can stop judging and comparing myself/my looks and that I can live and give to myself what I believe girls would give me. Thus I commit myself to not judge compare myself/my looks as not good enough/inferior to other men and express/give to me and others what I think girls would give me and within this stop desiring girls.

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to judge some people/businessmen as greedy and haughty and be angry and hateful towards them. When and as I see myself judging a person/businessmen or women as greedy and haughty - I stop and breathe. I realize that I am projecting my judgment of the words/act of greed and haughtiness as bad, inferior and that me getting angry / hateful about it is useless. Thus I commit myself to no judge the acts of greed and haughtiness as bad/inferior and people who I see/perceive are like that as inferior and instead of getting angry / hateful towards them, I look at what is the cause for such behaviour in me or another and support me/another to live a better solution.

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to hate people who abuse others, especially women and children and see them as inferior to me. When and as I see myself hating people who abuse others - women and children - I stop and breathe. I realize and understand that such judgments are useless as with this I only create hate and separation within me towards others. Thus I commit myself to not judge/be hateful towards people who abuse(d) others, instead I look at why they are acting in this way and support them to see common sense and reach their full potential as living beings.

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to make myself feel better/superior by finding reasons why someone else is inferior to me, like thinking that I am a better person when I think someone is more handsome. When and as I see myself looking for reasons why someone else is inferior to me, like thinking that I am a better person when I think someone is more handsome - I stop and breathe. I realize and understand that I am in a loop of judging others and comparing myself to them where I then feel superior and hate others, which is useless. Thus I commit myself to no more look for reasons why I am superior to another when I feel/think like I am inferior to another. Instead I realize that I am not inferior to anyone and that judging/comparing myself to other men to see who is more handsome is not necessary / supportive for anyone.

Monday, February 15, 2016

Day 259 - Money (&) Creation


I am looking at how I have separated myself from value creation by giving it away to banks, bankers and those who control money. This is why we feel limited all the time by the lack of money, as if money is the only thing that represents real value, while all this time it was Life and thus us, the living, who are the real value. Everything else is an illusion of value. Life gives value to things. Those living do not have to work to have value. Those alive have value because they ARE Life and because Life is the most valuable possession of the living. Life has value because it exists and is here, not because the living have some potential to do work. What the living create has value as well. But nothing has more value than Life itself that all the living embody. Life in everyone is the same and equal, as we cannot say that one has more Life than another, thus we are all equal as Life.

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to not see the value of Life in me and so the value of Life in others.

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to not see that the most valuable thing of all is Life, more than anything that the living create.

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to separate myself from value and to think, believe, perceive that things and/or others have more value than me, instead of realizing that nothing has more value than me as Life and so All of us as Life.

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to separate myself from value creation through money and banks.

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to give away my value and my power to create value - to money and banks,

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to create debt in order to take value away from others as Life and in this try to make myself superior.

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to accept debt and within this the master and the slave relationship.

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to become the slave of debt and within this diminish my value as Life and so the value of others as Life and become a dead man, a man in debt.

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to give away my power to create value to money and the bankers and so allow myself to become the slave of the masters who determines my value.

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to blame money, banks and my "masters" for the fact that I have diminished my Life through allowing debt and by giving away my power to create value and to value my Life and so All Life as infinitely valuable.

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to not see that I did not really in fact give away my power to have the most value as Life and to create value, as I realize that I only believed this, because I believed that money and bankers are something separate from me.

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to not see that I am the bank, I am the money.

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to think, believe and perceive that I need the banker and the money to move, to work, to do things, instead of realizing that I am the bank and that what I do and create is my pay.

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to not see that every living being is the bank and that what we do together and share together is our pay and that money is just paper or not even that.

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to work for money, instead of working to get things done.

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to separate myself from Life through working for money and to distract myself from getting things done by making business, where I believed that the goal of working is to make money through making business, instead of realizing that the only common sense reason for working is to support and enhance All Life.

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to expect to be payed with money when I get things done, instead of realizing that what I have done and created is my pay.

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to not realize and understand that in today's money system, Life is not valued, only money is valued, thus I must get money to survive and make sure that all get and have the money to live in dignity, while showing to all that money has no real value at all.

The fact that we use money means that we have accepted and allowed a system of scarcity and total control, where we disregard and abuse Life in the name of profit and exclusivity, which is not acceptable. Thus I commit myself to make sure that I become the bank and that I value the Life in me and the Life within others as infinitely valuable and all other things as finitely valuable.

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to not give as I would like to receive and to instead only take and demand what I think I deserve.

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to not realize and understand that in order to have I have to create and help to create.

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to not realize and understand that I cannot do everything alone and so I have to coordinate with others.

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to think, believe, perceive that my work is more or less valuable than the work of others, instead of realizing and understanding that all work that supports and enhances Life is equal in value, because all such work makes Life worth living and because the real pay for the work we do is the effect it has on Life, where every hour of work is the same for everyone. And so my hour of work is the same as your hour of work, where we all do our best to support All Life and give as we would like to receive.

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand that although every hour of work is an hour of Life and thus equal in value, there is some work that has to be done before all other work: which is Life support work, that ensures the basic human rights for all, such as making sure that all have food, water, clothes, health, a home and free access to work and economy, where all can give as they would like to receive and take what they need to develop their full potential as Life. Thus I commit myself to make sure that before I work on anything else, I make sure that we all firstly work to ensure that all have the basic human rights, that are actually Life rights - the meaning of Life, because Life that is not worth living - Life that I would not want to live - has no meaning and is thus abused, which is not acceptable.

Friday, December 11, 2015

Day 257 - Demotivated by Money


I found myself demotivated as I am currently without a regular income and have to find a way to get one. Mainly a job, but that is only one form of income as was pointed out to me. Instead of looking for a job, it is much more productive to look for opportunities of creating new forms of income. Unfortunately, this is what we have reduced living to in capitalism: looking for ways how to get money to survive and become "independent" as far as the hierarchy-enslavement system currently allows. I have never been motivated by desire for money and so I perceive doing something just for or mainly for the purpose of getting money as tedious and dull. I would rather work on projections and solutions to create a dignified, safe and fun life for all. But as I realized, when I see that I have to get money first and only then work for the good of Life, I feel demotivated, down, bored, tired, uninterested. A point I can forgive and correct.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to feel demotivated, down, bored, tired, uninterested when I see that I have to get money first and only then work on things I'd like. When and as I see myself feeling demotivated, down, bored, tired, uninterested when I see I have to get money first and only then work on things I'd like - I stop and breathe. I realize and understand that I am creating these emotions thought allowing the backchat where I think and define working for money as boring, enslaving, unnecessary, instead of giving myself to opportunity to stop all these thoughts and definitions and simply enjoying the physical activities that I do when I work for money. I see I can use this time to learn how to be more effective at the skills that I can then also use in other projects. Thus I commit myself to use the time I work for money to learn how to be in the present moment, to be effective at work and learn new skills that I can use in other projects.

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to feel resistance towards work, finding and getting a job, searching for ways to get income. When and as I see myself creating a resistance towards working for money, finding and getting a job, searching for ways to get income - I stop and breathe. I realize and understand that I only sabotage my effectiveness at work when creating such emotions and looking for justifications for them. Thus I commit myself to stop creating resistance towards work, finding and getting a job, searching for ways to get income, instead I breathe and direct myself to be effective at work.

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to think that writing a scientific paper to get some money is stupid, boring, dull. When and as I see myself thinking that writing a scientific paper to get some money is stupid, boring, dull - I stop and breathe. I realize and understand that I only created resistance by allowing such thoughts in my backchat, instead of simply working on it a few hours each day, getting some new writing skills, more reputation for future job applications and money. Thus I commit myself to stop defining writing a scientific article for money as stupid, boring, dull, instead I use it as an opportunity to get skills that will help me in other projects.

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to distract myself with looking for entertainment and other things I have to do when I sit down to write the scientific article or do other job and money earning related work. When and as I see myself distracting myself with looking for entertainment and other things I have to do when I sit down down to write the scientific article or do other job and money earning related work - I stop and breathe. I realize that I am giving into energies and allowing them to take over where I then only feel more miserable. Thus I commit myself to stop giving into distracting energies of looking for entertainment and other things I have to do when I sit down to write the scientific article or do other job and money earning related work. Instead I take a breath forgive the distractions and allow myself to simply be here and direct myself to enjoy the moment as I work and learn, allowing myself to see the opportunity within what I do to improve and get better at the job, being aware that I will always be able to use the skills in other projects.

Monday, November 30, 2015

Day 255 - Crypto-Currency as a tool for Living Income

In the current system, changing anything in relation to banking and money creation demands great effort from many people and as we all know, the banking cabal is not keen on losing the tool that makes them rich and powerful. Thus changing the old banking system will still take some time. But what I see as a better and easier solution is to use one of the new crypto currencies, or even create a new one, with the purpose of distributing everyone on Earth (or at least to those who have access to internet at first) a Living Income Guaranteed. How the system would work is very simple. We would create a limited number of crypto coins, like they are created now, enough for every person on Earth to use and receive a monthly guaranteed income. The amount of the living income received would be regulated in relation to the current value of the currency in the system, so that the amount would be enough to cover for the basic needs of a person, like food, clothes, rent, health care and education, starting small and gradually becoming higher. The way money for living income would be obtained is through a single "Life Support Tax" that would be paid on every transaction of the crypto currency. The amount of the tax would be very small and could be calculated based on the average transaction amount per month in the system, so that enough "Life Support Tax" money would be collected for everyone to receive a living income. This way we can leave the old system to fade away as we can create the new crypto currency by ourselves or use an existing one. The living income calculation and distribution would work automatically. Of course, one person could only receive one living income. So the holder of every account would have to be transparently identified to prevent unnecessary greed. Whenever you create your first crypto currency account in the system, you would be eligible to receive your living income. Obviously in the beginning, the amount would be very small because there would not be a lot of activity yet in the system when the crypto currency is first created. But it would get bigger as the system would spread and the currency value would rise.

So, what do you all think? Where do you see any potential problems, what are the solutions and how can we make this work?

Friday, November 13, 2015

Day 254 - Reacting to blame - 2 - Solutions

Continuing on the point from the previous blog, I will apply self-forgiveness to remove the automatic reactions and give myself direction through solutions for each point that we be supportive for me and the other person.

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to feel pressured and agitated when P was talking about me with an emotional tone I perceived as blame and anger. When and as I see myself feeling pressured and agitated when someone speaks to me/talks about me in an emotional tone like blame and anger - I stop and breathe. I realize and understand that I started to judge myself and feel ashamed, pressured, where I fear that I will lose my portrayed image and self belief that I am a good man that hasn't done anything wrong. And thus I go into defensive mode where I blame another for feeling inferior and fearing that I will 'lose' if I admit that I was selfish and/or not acting in the best way. Instead of continuing the pattern, I commit myself to focus on not creating self-judgment and fear of losing my image/perception of being a 'good person'.

I see here I have to redefine what I see as a 'good person'.

I have been perceiving a 'good person' as someone who always does best for all, is never selfish and doesn't make mistakes. So if someone show you that you are selfish in some point, this would make you a bad person. This is the basic polarity I created within the goo/bad person construct, where I then wish to bi a good person and fear not being seen as a good person.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create and participate in the polarity of a good/bad person, where I would wish to be a good person and fear being a bad person. When and as I see myself wishing to be good and fearing of being a bad person - I stop and breathe. I realize and understand that I trapped myself in a polarity construct where I mostly fear I will be in some way exposed as a bad person. Thus I commit myself to no more define/judge a good person as someone perfect that always does best for all and a bad person as someone that is selfish and does not do what is best for all. When someone show me a point that was selfish, I do not judge myself as a bad person and don't go into fear, instead I understand that I am walking a process of seeing where I am being selfish and how I can correct and align myself with what is best for all and the most effective way to do this is to no judge myself but instead be thankful when someone show me something I didn't (want to) notice about myself and take the opportunity to note the point and commit to change it.

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to feel like injustice is being done to me when I see/perceive someone blaming/accusing me of something that I see/perceive is not valid.

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to feel inferior, insulted and angry when I see/perceive that someone has wrongly blamed/accused me of something.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to wish/want/desire to react to wrongly being accused/blamed for something by defending my perceive image as a good person by proving -that I am being wrongly accused/blamed.

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to NOT stop and breathe when I see that another is reacting emotionally with anger and blame and accusing me of something and by this giving me the opportunity not to react back with emotions. When and as I see someone else speaking with emotion, blaming and accusing me of something - I stop and breathe. I realize and understand that I can only support myself and another when I don't react back with emotions which I can only do if I don't take the blame/accusations personally, if I don't start to judge myself, feel inferior and fear that I will lose my image as a 'good person'. Thus I commit myself to stop and breathe and do not react with fear of losing my image of a 'good person' when someone is reacting and speaking to me with blame and judgment as I understand that there is no such thing as a good/bad person, there are just acceptable and unacceptable actions people do. Instead I accept the point someone is making and put myself in another shoes so that I can through understanding of another's reaction support another to calm down and then look at the point and what the solution is.