My Declaration of Principle: 11. No one can save you, save yourself

Still waiting for a savior?

Still waiting for a savior?
The eleventh principle I commit myself to live by is he realization that I must save myself, because no one can do it for me. This means that I use the tools and principles of Desteni is my guide, but I must walk the path myself. We are here to assist and support each other in this process from Consciousness to Awareness/LIFE and what it means to live – but the process itself, where you are alone with yourself in your own Mind: is walked alone.

If we look at the basic tools of Desteni: self-honesty, self-forgiveness and self-correction, everything is about self. Only I can be honest with myself about what goes on in my thoughts, what emotions and feelings I am creating - no one can do this for me. If I do not allow myself to see the abuse and the patterns that I am creating and allowing within my mind and consequently in my living actions, then I cannot stop myself and correct my behavior and my starting point. No one can force me to change myself and who I make myself to be. It is really a simple point that we all understand: every one is completely responsible for self, who self is, what one accepts and allows. Thus any king of idea that some sort of a savior can save us from our own acceptances and allowances, is just a delusional idea, because it is practically impossible for someone to save us: we must save ourselves by changing ourselves and align ourselves to always work according to the Principle that is Best for All: Do not do unto others as you would not want to be done unto you. This does not just happen because we decided so in one moment. We have to walk a process of practical self.change that requires actual work and effort. There is no real quick solution.

The way I do this is as explained, through using the (Desteni) tools of self-honest writing, where I look at myself daily and see the thoughts that I am thinking, the emotions and feelings that I am creating and the living actions I am accepting and allowing. This way I see where I am being selfish, inconsiderate, egoistic, ignorant, spiteful or in some other way distracted by my positive feelings and other mind constructs that are not necessary and through which I create and allow abuse within myself and so in this world. Then I apply self-forgiveness on every specific pattern that I identify in my writing with which I release the point, take responsibility for it and commit myself to no more live the same way and to change myself. I write down the solution, the who I have to become as a solution that will be best for all and thus best for me as well. Then, after the writing, I make sure that I apply the correction practically in my everyday life. And this takes practice, because I lived a lot of the abusive patterns for a long time and so I have to learn to unlearn them and change myself in how I direct myself in such situations so that I am aligned with the Principle.

Many people may find it scary, that each one is fully responsible for oneself and that each one must save oneself, because no one else can do it for another. But when you really look at it without the emotions, it is quite liberating, because one is just dependent on self, meaning, we do not have to wait for a savior to come and save us, we can just do it ourselves, each one alone, but still each one helping each other as well when another is willing to receive some support through perspectives and experiences of others that have walked before him/her.

So, what are we waiting for? Let's save ourselves by being the change that we want to see in the world. It is not a quick fix or a magical solution, but it is The Solution.

Day 161 - My Declaration of Principle: 8. Being aware of self and others and supporting Life

Previous blog is in Slovene.

The eight principle I am committing myself to live by is the Principle of taking responsibility for myself to become aware of myself and others in my life, to assist and support them as I am assisting and supporting myself – to give as I would like to receive and do the extra bit every day to see where I can contribute to other’s lives and so my own.

Being aware of myself means that I observe myself and what is going on within myself in every breath. What thoughts am I having, what emotions and feelings, where are they coming from, how am I creating them and how can I direct myself in alignment to what is best for all Life? Here I practice self-aware breathing, combined with "brutal" self-honesty, to really see the causes of the patterns that I participate in and then I take self-responsibility for them and apply self-forgiveness. After this I can lay out the practical self-correction which I will implement in my Life, so that I can become less limited and help more to implement, with my own practical example, human relationships that will result in a system that is best for all of us. All this process I do through writing, like you can see on this blog, and then applying myself in my everyday practical life.

It is important that I firstly focus on myself, because I cannot help others if I do not help myself first and get to know how I can do it. Then I commit myself to also assist others and help them as I would like to be assisted and helped if I was in the shoes of another. By help and assistance I mostly mean the support of showing others with my example how they can as well take self-responsibility for their own mind and emotional patterns and change themselves and their lives to become more effective and more stable and start helping to create a world where a dignified life for all will be guaranteed. Because this is the only way it is going to happen, when every one of us takes self-responsibility to actively participate in creating a world that is best for all and not based on selfishness and abuse of Life.

Follow this link to see the full list of principles I am committing myself to live by.

Day 72 - Going for a walk

I had enough of myself today, living the same patterns, fears and being lazy, never really doing anything for myself. I always wait for something to happen, I wait for others to do something with me or do what others do and I get lost and scared when I am alone. I had enough of myself being like this and I went outside for a walk. It was 1 in the morning and there was chilly outside, everything was white from a thin layer of fresh frosty snow. I started walking across the city towards the big cinema. I knew it will be closed but I didn't care. That was my goal and I enjoyed myself, walking alone. I almost never do something just for myself, alone, I usually do things out of fear or I let my emotions and feelings to direct me, instead of me directing myself. I have to establish my own self-direction and stop fearing being with myself alone, doing things for myself alone. I have to stop waiting for things to happen to me, stopping wishing for this and that and stop fearing doing things for myself alone... I came to the cinema and in deed it was closed, so I continued walking towards the gas station. My partner wished for a chocolate, so I went to look if it is still open. I saw how my experience of myself immediately changed when I decided to go out by myself and for myself, when I decided to no more wait for something to happen or someone to be with me or give me direction. And I realized that this is what I need, what I have to do, start doing things for myself alone, I have to decide for myself what to do and be my own starting point. It doesn't really matter what I will do, what matters is that I decide to do it and do it for myself alone. Not to follow some desires and wishes, but to learn to direct myself alone, to develop self-direction, to learn to be with myself alone and stop fearing being with myself alone and being self-responsible for myself. This is how I will develop self-trust and lose the fear of doing things alone and start living me, being with myself alone, because each of us is alone and we have to be alone together. I am not saying that I have to be or will be actually alone, with no one around, that is irrelevant. What is important is that I start being self-directive and do things for myself alone, with myself, to develop self-trust and not depend on others, wait for others, subdue myself to others. I have to stop waiting for others to give me direction. I have to stop fearing living and being alive, I have to start being my own self-direction without fear and self-judgment.

I came to the gas station and it was closed, so I continued walking. I had no specific goal, but I had self-direction and my principle - walking. I walked and I walked quite fast and I was decisive. That's what I decided to do for myself alone and that is what I was doing and I enjoyed myself in how decisive I was. I walked for about an hour and I went across the city and to the top of a hill with a great view of it and I didn't get tired at all. I realized and decided that this is what I have to do for myself, I have to develop self-direction and determination to do things alone, for myself, to be my own starting point and get rid of all the fears of being self-responsible and learn to be as self-directive and decisive and without fears as I was at that moment, walking. I did it for myself and I was enjoying my self-direction and determination. And I didn't fear to be with myself alone. I always feared being alone, having to do things for myself alone and being self-responsible. And I still do at times, but I have my writings, self-forgiveness and common sense and I know what I want, I always want to be as decisive and as self-directive and without fear as I was when I decided to walk today. And I know that I have a lot of patterns to write out and remove and that fears and laziness and resistances and all the self-limitations of the mind will come back to test me, but I will not subdue to these mind energetic patterns and I will not let myself be less than what I am as Life. And I know that I will fail to stand many times, but I know what I want and I have my walk. I know how it is to walk decisively for self alone, without fear and with self-direction. And so I will walk and direct myself to walk, just as I did this day, and I will have this walk as an example of how self-directive, determined and without fear I can be and I will spread this walk to all parts of myself and my living, to be as best as I can and to not accept anything less from myself than what I really am as Life, in oneness and equality.

Commitment and agreement with myself and my partner

I am writing this commitment as an agreement with myself to walk the process of birthing myself as Life and aligning myself to what is best for all, through writing, self-forgiveness and self-corrective application, together with Hilda as my partner and to not allow any back-doors that would break this agreement with myself and my partner.
When and as I see myself looking for back-doors to not stand by my agreement with myself and my partner - I stop and breath. I commit myself to immediately remove all points of looking for back-doors with self-forgiveness and self-correction.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear to make an agreement with my partner because I fear that the past will repeat itself and out of fear that my partner will want to control me. When and as I see myself fearing of my partner wanting to have control over me - I stop and I breathe. I realize and understand that this fear comes from the fear of not being able to live out the energies of having sex with other women. I commit myself to remove all wishes/wants/desire of having sex with other women with self-forgiveness and self-correction.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to wish/want/desire to be with my ex-partner and to allow this point to exist as a backdoor within and as myself. I realize that with this I compromise myself by trying to avoid taking complete self-responsibility for myself and my agreements/commitments. When and as I see myself looking for back-doors in order to not follow my commitments/agreements - I stop and breathe. I immediately apply self-forgiveness and self-correction through breathing and directing myself according to my agreements and commitments to myself and my partner.

I commit myself to openly discuss any points/reactions that come up within myself or my partner and not hide them and or be judgmental about them.

Day 9 - Self-responsibility / Aloneness

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear facing all of myself and being self-honest with self and taking self-responsibility. I realize that judging myself for this is pointless. When and as I see myself fearing facing myself and being self-honest with self - I stop and I breathe. Instead I write out the fears and points where I have not yet taken self-responsibility for myself and I commit myself to take self-responsibility for every point I find, breath by breath.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear loosing my relationships if I am self-honest and do self-correction, instead of realizing that with this I will stop my mind/energetic relationships and replace them with physical relationships based on common sense and what is best for all. When and as I see myself fearing to loose my mind/energetic relationships if I am self-honest and do self-correction - I stop and I breathe. Instead I commit myself to be self-honest and do self-correction and not go into fear of loosing my energetic/mind relationship, but replace them with physical relationships according to common sense and what is best for all.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to think/believe/perceive that the effectiveness of my process is dependant on the place and person(s) I live with, instead of realizing that facing myself, being self honest and applying self-correction according to what is best for all is all about myself and my willingness to face myself and correct myself, no matter where or with whom I live.

I commit myself to not avoid but face myself in self-honesty, breath by breath, writing out, forgiving and correcting every point and aligning myself according to what is best for all Life by finding and applying practical solutions from which all Life will benefit equally.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to think/believe/perceive that I will only face myself and take self-resopnsibility for myself if I am in constant situations of conflict. I realize that by doing this I separate myself from the point of facing myself and taking self-responsibility by limiting myself to think that I will/can only do this when I am in conflict situations. When and as I see myself thinking/believing/perceiving that I will only face myself and take self-resopnsibility for myself in conflict situations - I stop and I breathe. Instead I commit myself to be self-honest and take self-resopnsibility for myself no matter what situation I am in and stand for practical solutions that are best for all Life.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear, be embarassed and judge myself as 'less than' when facing and exposing my fears to myself/other. I realize that fearing, judging myself as less than and being embarassed when exposing my fears to myself and others is poitnless. When and as I see myself fearing, being embarassed and judging myself as 'less than' when exposing my fears to myself or others - I stop and I braethe. Instead I commit myelf to look at, write out and remove the irrational fears through which I compromise myself to not do/stand for what is best for all.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear that my fears will overrun me and that I will be unable to stop them/push through them and so comproimse my effectiveness within the system if I push myself too much into situations of fear. I realize that by thinking about fears overrunning me I create the fear of this happening and also already accept and allow the possibility of this happening. When and as I see myself fearing that my fears will overrun me and that I will be unable to stop them - I stop and I breathe. Instead I commit myself to stop the fear of being overrun by fears by applying self-forgiveness and focusing on the breath.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to judge myself as a failure/feel as less than/incapable when I or someone else exposes a point that I hadn't considered yet or where I haven't taken self-responsibility yet. I realize that judging myself and feeling less than in this situations is pointless. When and as I see myself that I judge myself as a failure/feel as less than/incapable when I or someone else exposes a point that I hadn't considered yet or where I haven't taken self-responsibility yet - I stop and I breathe. Instead I commit myself to look at the point in self-honesty, write it out and apply self-forgiveness and self-correction until there are no more reactions.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear that others will see/judge me as a failure/less than if they see/know or I tell them that there is a point where I still haven't taken self responsibility yet. I realize that in this I actually judge myself as a failure/less than which is pointless. When and as I see myself fearing that others will judge me as a failure/less than if they see/know or I tell them that there is a point where I still haven't taken self responsibility yet - I stop and I breathe. Instead I do not judge myself and I commit myself to write out and take responsibility for myself in common sense and what is best for all.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear loosing X and connecting her with safety/help/support. I realize that I am responsible to be/create my own safety/help/support as equally as for others. When and as I see myself going into fear of loosing X and so my safety/help/support - I stop and I breathe. Instead I look at where do I still define my safety/help/support according to her and I commit myself to give back to myself and create my own safety/help/support as equally as for others.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not want to take complete self-responsibility for myself and to make X and other people responsible for myself. I realize that by doing this I am limiting and abusing myself and others. When and as I see myself not wanting to take complete self-responsibility for myself - I stop and I breathe. Instead I commit myself to stop all self abuse and the abuse of others by taking self-responsibility for myself according to common sense and what is best for all.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to connect aloneness to 'having no one to talk to'.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear of not having anyone to talk to.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to wish/want/desire to always have someone I can talk to.
When and as I see myself connecting aloneness with having no one to talk to, fearing of having no one to talk to and wishing/wanting/desiring to always have someone I can talk to - I stop and I breathe. Instead I stay here in the breath and commit myself to stop all definitions/memories connected to aloneness.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to connect aloneness to 'having no one to help me'.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear having no one to help me.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to wish/want/desire to always have someone to help me.
I realize that I can and have to always help myself first. When and as I see myself connecting aloneness to 'having no one to help me', fearing that I will have no one to help me and wishing/wanting/desiring to always have someone to help me - I stop and I breathe. Instead I stay here in the breath and look at how I can help myself.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to connect aloneness with 'having no sex'.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear of having no sex.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to wish/want/desire to always have someone to have sex with.
I realize that I can enjoy my sexual expression equally with myself alone as with someone else. When and as I see myself connecting aloneness with 'having no sex', fearing of having no sex and wishing/wanting/desiring to always have someone to have sex with - I stop and I breathe. Instead I stay here in the breath and look at where have I still separated myself from sex and sexual expression and I commit myself to apply self-forgiveness and self-correction.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear of having to cook/prepare my own food and connecting it to aloneness. I realize that I am self-responsible to take care of my own food/diet. When and as I see myself fearing of having to cook/prepare my own food - I stop and I breathe. Instead I stay in the breathe and forgive myself all the resistances that come up and commit myself to learn and prepare my own food.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to connect aloneness with 'having no one to have fun with'.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear having no one to have fun with.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to wish/want/desire to always have someone to have fun with.
I realize that within this I have separated myself from fun because I believe I need someone else in order to have fun. When and as I see myself connecting aloneness with 'having no one to have fun with' - I stop and I breathe. Instead I stay in the breathe and I commit myself to remove all connections/emotion/memories that come up about the point 'having no one to have fun with' until I am one and equal with fun as being here in the breath.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define and connect aloneness as being a failure and to judge myself as a failure if/when I am alone. I realize that judging myself as a failure is pointless. When and as I see myself defining aloneness as being a failure and judging myself as a failure if/when I am alone - I stop and I breathe. Instead I stay in the breathe and I commit myself to remove all self-judgments and definitions that come around the point of aloneness as a failure.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define and connect aloneness as/to boredom. I realize that boredom is a character of the mind that I created and is not real. When and as I see myself connecting aloneness to boredom and/or being bored - I stop and I breathe. Instead I stay in the breath and I look at how I have created the character of boredom and I commit myself to apply self-forgiveness and self-correction until there is no more experience of boredom and aloneness, just me being here in the breath.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear going into backchat and self-pity about aloneness and feeling scared/sad/disappointed/self-limited/wasting my Life/feeling sorry for myself. I realize that I create this fear by projecting my definitions about aloneness into the future in my mind and so accepting and allowing myself to already create this experience for me. When and as I see myself fearing of going into backchat and self-pity about aloneness and feeling scared/sad/disappointed/self-limited/wasting my Life/feeling sorry for myself - I stop and I breathe. Instead I stay here in the breath and I commit myself to stop and forgive myself all the points that come up around the point of fear of being alone until I am clear here in the breath in the company of myself as the physical.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear taking self-responsibility for everything I haven't taken self-responsibility for and defining it as too much/too hard. I realize that there is no point in imagining/projecting the amount of self-responsibility I have to take and to define it as hard/too much as with this I only create the feeling of overwhelmingness, resistance and fear. When and as I see myself fearing of taking self-responsibility for myself and defining it as too much/too hard - I stop and I breathe. Instead I stay here in the breathe and I commit myself to take self-responsibility for myself here, one breath at a time, where I look at the fears/resistances that come up regarding taking self responsibility and I apply self-forgiveness and self-correction and apply myself in self-responsibility and according to what is best for all.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to think/believe/perceive that I do not have to take complete self-responsibility for self and think/believe/perceive that others can do it for me. I realize that with this I allow myself to enslave myself to others and abuse myself and others by not taking self-responsibility. When and as I see myself thinking/believing/perceiving that I do not have to take self-responsibility - I stop and I breathe. Instead I stay here in the breathe and I commit myself to stop and self-forgive all excuses and take self-responsibility for myself one breath at a time and according to what is best for all.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear not knowing what to do and being lost and within this I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to think/believe/perceive that I always have to know what to do and to judge myself as stupid/less than/embarrassing if I don't know what to do. I realize that fearing this to happen is pointless as I am always here with me in the breath never lost and that I can always see what to do in common sense here in the physical when I am in the breath. When and as I see myself fearing not knowing what to do or being lost - I stop and I breathe. Instead I stay here in the breath and I commit myself to stop all irrational fears as they come up with self-forgiveness and self correction.

Day 1 - Clearing/re-evaluating my agreements

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to feel angry/sad whenever I perceive/see someone trying to discredit me and manipulate others into thinking bad about me.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to feel like I have to defend myself whenever I see/perceive that other people gossip about me, instead of realizing that it is their responsibility to not deliberately discredit others.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to get angry/annoyed when one wants to manipulate me by judging me/blaming me/blackmailing me when I don't want to participate in the blaming game or do what another demands I should.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to wish/want/desire to explain to others 'my side of the story' because I fear that they will judge me based on the other people's judgments.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to feel guilty when one wants to have sex with me and I decline even if I know that this is only based on desire/manipulation.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear that others will gossip about me and try to discredit me.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fall for the manipulation point of guilt when one wants to manipulate me into making a decision according to their wishes/wants/desires.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to feel guilty when one says that I am not supporting equality just because I decline to live/have an agreement/have sex with someone.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to feel guilty and to blame myself for not making an agreement with X and not deciding to live with X, instead of realizing that my starting point was not clear from the beginning and that it couldn't stand because I wasn't clear about it from the very beginning.

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to see/realize that my relationship with X was based on manipulation/fear from the very beginning and so had to fall/end as the starting point was not equality.

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to realize that I have allowed myself to compromise myself through fear and allowed myself to be manipulated in my relationships and so I must delete all old patterns and recreate my relationships, so that I can start from the beginning and create a clear starting point that I can stand as in self-honesty.

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to realize and admit to myself that I am not ready to make an agreement with X because I fear loosing my safety/security/comfort within the system.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to blame myself and feel guilty because I didn't have a clear starting point from the very beginning of my relationship with X, so it had to fall as it could never stand.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to want to make an agreement with someone, instead of realizing that I have to make an effective agreement with self.

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to stop blaming me and feeling guilty for what I did by not having a clear starting point.

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to stop blaming me for my mistakes, instead I forgive myself for what I did and I allow myself to have a clean start within my agreement with self.

2012 - Anger, spite, blame reactions

Taking self-responsibility for my reactions when dealing with conflict situations:

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be angry and to react in spite when someone threatens me and blackmails me (with money). When and as I see myself getting angry and spiteful when someone threatens me and blackmails me (with money) – I stop and I breathe. I do not accept and allow myself to get angry and spiteful when someone threatens me and blackmails me (with money), instead I make sure that I am clear of all reactions and I direct the situation in a way that is best for all.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that I must defend myself at all costs when someone blames, reacts or is angry with me, instead of breathing and stopping all reactions until I am clear within myself before I speak. When and as I see myself believing that I must defend myself from someone's reaction of blame and anger – I stop and I breathe. I do not accept and allow myself to go into defense and to believe that I must defend my position against the attack, instead I make sure that I am clear of any reactions within myself before I speak and I direct myself in common sense and as an example of taking responsibility for self and others in a way that is best for all.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to speak in anger and spite instead of stopping myself and making sure that I am clear from any reactions before I speak. When and as I see myself being angry, spiteful, emotional before I speak – I stop and I breathe. I do not accept and allow myself to react and speak out of anger, spite or energetic emotion. Instead I breathe and I say out loud that I am in an energetic emotion and that I will not speak until I make sure that I am clear of all reactions within myself and I direct myself with breathing to stop all reactions and emotions before I speak.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be afraid to say out loud that I am in an energetic reaction and that I will not participate in energetic games and will not communicate until I make sure that I am clear from all energetic reactions and emotions. When and as I see myself fearing to say out loud that I am in an energetic reaction / emotion – I stop and I breathe. I do not accept and allow myself to compromise myself by fearing to speak out loud about my reactions / emotions. Instead I breathe and I stop and break the fear pattern by whistling and/or by snapping my fingers and I speak out loud that I am in and energetic reaction / emotion and will not speak until I make sure that I am clear of any energetic reactions/emotions/anger/spite within myself.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to react in anger and spite when someone is spiteful towards me and makes spiteful, blaming comments towards me. When and as I see myself going into a reaction, anger and spite towards someone that makes spiteful, blaming comments – I stop and I breathe. I do not accept and allow myself to react in spite and anger when someone makes spiteful comments towards me. Instead I breathe and I direct myself to make sure that I have no energetic reactions or emotions within me before I speak to direct the situation in a way that is best for all.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to blame others when they blame me. I realize that this will only make the conflict bigger and will not support anyone. When and as I see myself blaming others when they blame me - I stop, I breathe. Instead I do not blame others and I take points back to myself and I reflect them in self-honesty and commit myself to write out the points that come up.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to blame myself and take onto myself the blame of others when others blame me. I realize that other's blame is not my own and that I have to focus on my own points of blame and look self-honestly at myself where do I still blame myself. When and as I see myself blaming myself and taking onto myself the blame of others - I stop, I breathe. Instead I look at myself in self-honesty where do I still blame and judge myself and I commit myself to write out the self-blame and self-judgment until it is gone.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be angry and react with anger when others blame me. I realize that this will only make the conflict worse and will not assist anyone. When and as I see myself getting/being angry and reacting when someone blames me - I stop, I breathe. Instead I re-do my self-forgiveness statements on blame/anger/reactions and stop myself.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to act in self-interest and not always also consider others and put myself into others shoes. I realize that by doing so I accept and allow abuse to happen as I only see my self-interest and don't consider others. When and as I see myself accepting and allowing myself to act in self-interest where I do not also equally consider others - I stop, I breathe. Instead I look self-honestly at what is the origin of my self interest and I commit myself to write out and correct the point.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be afraid of angry, reactive and violent people, to fear that they will hurt me and that I am responsible for their anger, reactions and violence. I realize that I must first reflect myself in self-honesty and make sure that I do not react and fear when interacting/speaking with others because by doing so I accept and allow these reactions to exist. When and as I see myself being afraid of angry, reactive and violent people and to fear that they will hurt me and that I am responsible for their anger, reactions and violence - I stop, I breathe. Instead I realize that I must firstly stop my own fears, anger and reactions and make sure that I do not react when speaking with others and that I do not fear conflict situations.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to blame myself for wanting to end the energetic agreement/relationship with X and not live with her anymore. I realize that all energetic relationships must stop and that I made my decision in order to stop the energetic relationship X and I created between ourselves. When and as I see myself blaming myself for wanting to end the agreement/relationship with X  and don't live with her anymore - I stop, I breathe. Instead I focus on my points and I commit myself to write out in self-honesty the points that come up in my interaction with others.

2012 - Self-Forgiveness on defining self through others

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define myself through others.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to belief that I need others.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that I alone am incomplete.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to compromise and sabotage myself with the idea of loneliness.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define myself as anything other than Life  here in oneness and equality.
I forgive myself for NOT accepting and allowing myself to see and realize the deception of my own and other people's special relationships.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to desire/want to be a special winner with special attention.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that I need any kind of attention.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be at-tension, instead of attending myself and all that is here equally.
I forgive myself for NOT accepting and allowing myself to be all-one.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear to be all-one.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to compromise and sabotage myself with the fear/feelings/emotions of 'aloneness'.

2012 - Walking with

Since I am living with my new roommate I find my process of removing my mind-fucks and emotional/energy patterns much more intense/obvious which is cool, as I am able to see them more clearly and what is most important, take self-responsibility for them to remove them and so learn to direct myself in common sense.

One of the points I assist myself with is the fact that my roommates expression in a way resembles the expression of my father who I feared a lot and couldn't really communicate with him effectively. Thus I have the same patterns coming up when I talk to my roommate as I have when talking to my father. Basically I get the feeling of being attacked, threatened or somehow regarded as 'less than'. From this idea I would then usually respond through my ego from the starting point of defending myself and trying to re-establish myself as an equal in the mind of the other person, which is of course impossible. I can only be equal with myself and so to everyone/all here. I have realized that I would only respond like that when I take it personally, meaning that I haven't yet take the self-responsibility for these points through which I create my reaction. After I do that I simply don't react anymore to other's words, I just see/hear the words spoken and I reflect myself within them to see if they make any sense to me and if I can find any support within them.

Within this starting point a realized that I can recognize the moodiness/manipulation attempts from others much more effectively and so I don't accept and allow myself to be effected by them. Also as I am not reacting and also not having a specific desire for a specific effect when I speak to someone, I realize that I can so focus more on understanding the person I talk to and aligning myself to their understanding of self and so expressing myself in a way that is not 'aggressive' towards another because this only creates conflict and competition. Of course the person who feels this way is self-responsible for it because she/he caused this feelings him/her-self, but usually and especially when talking to someone who is not yet walking the Desteni'I'Process, having such an aggressive approach is not alway the best way as it distracts and takes focus away from the actual point one is trying to share with another to the point where the other person feels threatened, 'less than' and then tries to defend oneself through her/his ego as this is how ego works in trying to survive and remain the same as a self-righteous system of self-limitation.

2012 - ending fear - this is the word I gift to myself

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be afraid of taking responsibility to find a suitable flat for me to move into.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be afraid of speaking with the owner of the flat as an equal.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be afraid to stand equal to and as the owner.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be afraid to speak up and stand for what is best for all.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be afraid to question the owner where it is common sense to ask questions whenever things are not clear.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to see and define myself as less then the owner and to justify my self-definition as less then with the excuse that he is more knowledgeable and more experienced, instead of being self-responsible and standing one and equal with the owner to make sure that the agreement is what is best for all.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be afraid of making a conflict between me and the owner instead of realizing that by taking self-responsibility I can direct the situation to be what is best for all and so make sure that I don't subdue myself to the feeling of being 'less then' and letting the owner impose only what is best for him.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be afraid of being scammed instead of taking self-responsibility and making sure that everything is written as an agreement and understood in a way that is best for all.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be afraid of making a bad impression to the owner instead of realizing that this is self-sabotage and to take self-responsibility to direct self in common sense and what is best for all.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be afraid of breaking the deal/agreement because of not being humble and not subduing myself to the owner instead of realizing that by doing this I support the abuse, thus I take self-responsibility and self-direction to stand equal to the owner and directing the situation in self-honesty and the way that is Best for All.

I do not accept and allow myself to subdue myself to anyone or anything because this is abuse of Life and I take full self-responsibility in every moment, to be self-honest and do what is Best for All.
I do not accept and allow myself to be afraid of anyone or anything and I do not accept and allow myself to define myself as less then anyone else as this is abuse of Life.
I do not accept and allow myself to fear rejection, to fear conflict and to fear speaking up for myself as Life as One as Equal as What is Best for All because I understand that this must be done in order to stop the abuse of Life and to make sure that I stand as the principle of Life as what is Best for All, where I do not accept and allow any abuse of Life and where I make sure that I always do in self-honesty what is Best for All Life.

I do not accept and allow myself do doubt my self, to doubt my self-honesty and to doubt my self-direction and my will to do and stand as Life here in practicality as what is Best for All.

I do not accept and allow myself to be afraid to lose everything through which I still define myself as, because I understand that it is all fake and designed and accepted and allowed by myself to limit me as Life and to subdue me and suppress me as what I really am as Life here in oneness and equality.
I do not accept and allow myself to suppress myself with emotions and feelings of fear and by defining self as less then. I am equal to all that is Here as Life.

I do not accept and allow myself to doubt in myself ever again. I stop my fears and I breathe and I laugh and I speak up and I express in self-honesty what is Here and I take full self-responsibility and full self-direction to focus on my process of self-correction to become One and Equal as Life Here. I do whatever it takes to break, delete and destroy any mind patterns that I accepted and allowed into and as myself and through which I limit myself and subdue myself to. I promise to myself to stop the abuse of self as Life and to make sure that I walk in every breath the self-correction in self-honesty.

I promise this to myself as I stand Here in self-honesty and I am my witness and my judge and I will not accept and allow anything less from myself than total self-honesty and self-direction to correct self in every breath as long as it takes and until it is done. This is the word that I give to myself and I mark my word and I check my word in every breath to make sure that I am Living to my word, as my Word and I make and create myself as The Living Word as Life as What is Best for All in Oneness and Equality.

2011 - Why do people hate?

People sure like to hate a lot. Doesn't matter really what or why...

Where does this come from? Do you like to hate? How many times a week do you hate something? Dare to count?

Hate starts with the back-chat in someones mind, where one starts to firstly define things according to one's beliefs and judgments. Hate is the opposite of love - it's a polarity like any other mind-fuck that keeps your mind going. There is no love without hate and so you must hate if you want to love. It's all an energy game inside our minds, our thoughts. We delude ourselves with our mind definitions instead of just being here, breathing, doing what's Common Sense - Best for All. We don't learn crap from our mind polarity love-hate delusions. It's all fake information, not real, made up, keeping us locked inside our head so that we continue to perpetuate the mind polarity energy game of high and low, love and hate, win and lose...

Do you like your ego? People tend to put self first, to take care of self first, to take care of the ego of self. The ego fights to survive, to be on top, the winner, the best, the super ego. It's a self destruction device in your head. Don't try and be your ego, you'll go crazy and mad.

Be here, breath and stand with the physical. Ego is useless in the physical. Ego makes the physical weak and abuses it. Do you drink alcohol, get drunk? The abuse is obvious, it's all about not wanting to face self, not wanting to be self responsible. Human is a slave to his own ego. You can observe the self-destruction of egoistic man as you realize your-self as breath in the always present moment of here-ness, as you walk through the self-honest process of stopping your mind possessions of egoism, as you start to participate in Common Sense and what is Best for All.
In the breath of here-ness, there is no freedom of choice to trouble your ego and mind with - no choice to abuse self, only the Common Sense to do what is Best for All. Life will be born when we All stand as One and Equal in what is Best for All.

Lets walk together in self-direction and self-honesty as we change our nature of being with the principle of Oneness and Equality as what is Best for All. Lets be self-honest and stop our crap. The shit is hitting the fan.

I am a Destonian - I stand for Life! I am one vote for an Equal Money System and for World Equality!

equalmoney.org
desteniiprocess.com