Day 254 - Reacting to blame - 2 - Solutions

Continuing on the point from the previous blog, I will apply self-forgiveness to remove the automatic reactions and give myself direction through solutions for each point that we be supportive for me and the other person.

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to feel pressured and agitated when P was talking about me with an emotional tone I perceived as blame and anger. When and as I see myself feeling pressured and agitated when someone speaks to me/talks about me in an emotional tone like blame and anger - I stop and breathe. I realize and understand that I started to judge myself and feel ashamed, pressured, where I fear that I will lose my portrayed image and self belief that I am a good man that hasn't done anything wrong. And thus I go into defensive mode where I blame another for feeling inferior and fearing that I will 'lose' if I admit that I was selfish and/or not acting in the best way. Instead of continuing the pattern, I commit myself to focus on not creating self-judgment and fear of losing my image/perception of being a 'good person'.

I see here I have to redefine what I see as a 'good person'.

I have been perceiving a 'good person' as someone who always does best for all, is never selfish and doesn't make mistakes. So if someone show you that you are selfish in some point, this would make you a bad person. This is the basic polarity I created within the goo/bad person construct, where I then wish to bi a good person and fear not being seen as a good person.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create and participate in the polarity of a good/bad person, where I would wish to be a good person and fear being a bad person. When and as I see myself wishing to be good and fearing of being a bad person - I stop and breathe. I realize and understand that I trapped myself in a polarity construct where I mostly fear I will be in some way exposed as a bad person. Thus I commit myself to no more define/judge a good person as someone perfect that always does best for all and a bad person as someone that is selfish and does not do what is best for all. When someone show me a point that was selfish, I do not judge myself as a bad person and don't go into fear, instead I understand that I am walking a process of seeing where I am being selfish and how I can correct and align myself with what is best for all and the most effective way to do this is to no judge myself but instead be thankful when someone show me something I didn't (want to) notice about myself and take the opportunity to note the point and commit to change it.

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to feel like injustice is being done to me when I see/perceive someone blaming/accusing me of something that I see/perceive is not valid.

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to feel inferior, insulted and angry when I see/perceive that someone has wrongly blamed/accused me of something.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to wish/want/desire to react to wrongly being accused/blamed for something by defending my perceive image as a good person by proving -that I am being wrongly accused/blamed.

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to NOT stop and breathe when I see that another is reacting emotionally with anger and blame and accusing me of something and by this giving me the opportunity not to react back with emotions. When and as I see someone else speaking with emotion, blaming and accusing me of something - I stop and breathe. I realize and understand that I can only support myself and another when I don't react back with emotions which I can only do if I don't take the blame/accusations personally, if I don't start to judge myself, feel inferior and fear that I will lose my image as a 'good person'. Thus I commit myself to stop and breathe and do not react with fear of losing my image of a 'good person' when someone is reacting and speaking to me with blame and judgment as I understand that there is no such thing as a good/bad person, there are just acceptable and unacceptable actions people do. Instead I accept the point someone is making and put myself in another shoes so that I can through understanding of another's reaction support another to calm down and then look at the point and what the solution is.

Day 253 - Reacting to blame - 1

Previous blog is in Slovene.

Today I found myself reacting to another person P, while P was talking to me with an emotional tone with blame and anger. While I was reflecting on what P was saying, P started to demand that I answer a question that was emotionally manipulative in nature and in this moment I started to become increasingly agitated and then angered. I stayed quite as I didn't know what to say to calm down the situation. I created a dilemma for myself as I did not want to simply accept the accusations from P as valid as they were not because they were made out of an emotional perception and judgment. On the other hand I did not want to directly oppose P as I saw some points could be valid and thus I would not be honest, nor would I help to calm down the situation by denying it all. As I didn't see an effective direction for myself I remained quite and this only caused P to react more, where then I also reacted with feeling more pressured, where I then started to blame P for this pressure and became angry. As I wanted to tell P to stop pressuring me I used an example from P's past, trying to show the consequence that can happen when you pressure someone, but as I was not clear when talking, I made P react even more. Thus we had an argument again that lasted around an hour before the energies stopped and I removed myself from P for a while. This show me that I am still not directing myself effectively in situation where I get accused or blamed, especially when I see/perceive the blaming to not be valid.

I will look more into problems and solutions in the next blog.

Day 164 - Self-victimizing myself in relationships with others

Previous blog is in Slovene.

I have a repeating pattern where, whenever I see another being in a reaction towards me, I go into a reaction myself, where I become angry for how I experience myself in such moments. Basically I start victimizing myself as I perceive that another is forcing his/her energetic reactions onto me, but in self-honesty, I get angry because of the emotions that come up within me, that I then blame another for. That's how we usually operate, so that we would have to take self-responsibility for our emotions and actions.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed to emotionally react to my partner/another by feeling disrespected, ignored, abused and to so take it personally, when I see/perceive that he/she is in an emotional reaction that he/she is blaming me for. I realize that my emotions I create in such moments are completely my creation that I have accepted and allowed to create within myself and so I cannot blame my partner/another for feeling disrespected, ignored and abused. When and as I see myself feeling disrespected, ignored and abused when my partner/another emotionally reacts and blames me for it or wants me to change - I stop and breathe. I realize that I do not have to feel insulted, abused, ignored and that I do not have to take such moments personally, because it will be much better for me to apply self-aware breathing where I do not go into any emotional reactions. Therefore I commit myself to apply self-aware breathing and self-forgiveness on any emotional reactions of feeling disrespected, ignored and abused, scared and angry, whenever my partner/another is in an emotional reaction and blames me for it or wants me to change. I commit myself to not speak back in anger.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed to go into the reaction of fear whenever I see my partner/another emotionally reacting towards me and blaming me for it and wanting me to change. When and as I see myself going into fear of my partner emotionally reacting towards me and blaming me for it and wanting me to change - I stop and breathe. I realize that the worst I can do it to react back from anger or any other emotion. I realize that I must focus on my own reactions and so I commit myself to state to another that I am focusing on my own reactions and patterns, so that I can remove them through self-forgiveness and self-correction.

I forgive myself that I have NOT accepted and allowed myself to see and realize how I have allowed myself to define/see/perceive myself as a victim of the situation, when my partner/another is emotionally reacting towards me and blaming me for it and wanting me to change. When and as I see myself victimizing myself and seeing/perceiving that I am being abused, ignored and disrespected because I feel fear, anger, disrespect - I stop and breathe. I realize that I am the one creating these emotions and that my partner/another is just using words that I then take personally and react to. Therefore I commit myself to always be aware of how I take/perceive the words of my partner/another and clearly state to myself that I react to them emotionally when I do, so that I can take responsibility for my reactions and apply self-forgiveness and self-aware breathing and so from that point on direct myself with common sense.

I forgive myself that I have NOT accepted and allowed myself to realize that I am within this self-victimization basically just reacting to words of my partner/another. When and as I see myself reacting emotionally to the words of my partner/another - I stop and breathe. I realize the absurdity of the situation, where I allow myself to get angry and blame another for how I feel, instead of immediately focusing on how I feel and react and so take self-responsibility. I commit myself to always look and watch out for any reactions that I might have towards the words that my partner/another is speaking and to immediately when I see a reaction, apply self-forgiveness and self-aware breathing and to not speak out of a reaction.

Day 150 - Taking self-responsibility for my reactions towards my partner - II

Today I walked to the store with my partner and I looked towards the place where some of my friends used to work. In that moment my partner made a remark about it, that I saw or perceived as a deliberate spiteful remark from her part, because I know that she still reacts to those people in a negative way. In that moment I thought "she is being spiteful again, should I tell her or or not, will this make the reaction even bigger?" and while thinking this, I felt a bit offended by that fact that she was still being deliberate in the spiteful remarks and that the pattern is still there and in this I also started to blame my partner for being spiteful, for making the remark and for not taking self-responsibility for removing the pattern. After this we had an energetic quarrel for a minute, but I will be focusing with my Self Forgiveness on removing the above points where my reaction started.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to react to my partner's remark, that I have seen / perceive as being spiteful, with taking it personally, feeling offended and being angry and to within that anger try to point out the pattern that my partner was participating in, instead of immediately bringing that point back to myself and seeing where am I also reacting to it and so firstly applying self-forgiveness on the point that I see within myself. When and as I see myself reacting to my partner's remarks with feeling offended, taking it personally and feeling angry and when I see a pattern within my partner and others - I stop and breathe. I realize and understand that I have to always, when I see a point within my partner/another, take that point back to self and see where / how am I reacting to it. Therefore I commit myself to always bring the point that I see within another back to myself and see how I am reacting to it and to then apply self-forgiveness until I have no more reactions and to only then also see if I can support my partner in seeing the pattern.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to try and control / manipulate my partner to stop the reaction that we are in by saying that I will end our agreement and that I don't need her to walk with me, while not seeing and realizing that I am within this blaming her for the reaction and not stopping myself within my own reaction. Thus being spiteful towards my partner.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to blame my partner for the reactions between us, instead of removing all of my reactions and blame towards my partner. When and as I see myself blaming my partner for a reaction or trying to manipulate her and/or when I see myself wanting to use the argument of ending our agreement because of me reacting to her or her to me - I stop and breathe. I realize and understand that I am within this reacting myself and being spiteful towards my partner, instead of removing all of my reactions, blame and spitefulness towards my partner. Therefore I commit myself to no more blame my partner for her reaction or for my reactions, instead I breathe, I check and make sure that I am without reactions by applying self-forgiveness and then only after the reactions between us are over I talk to my partner about the reaction so that we can direct the point and prevent the reaction from happening again.

Day 149 - Taking self-responsibility for reactions towards my partner

Today I had an argument with my partner where she blamed me, speaking in emotional reaction, for things that I did not do / participate in or where some of it was true and some of it not. I reacted to this by taking it personally, feeling offended and being angry about it and then I wanted to show her that she is participating in a spiteful pattern and then, I myself became spiteful and so obviously we just made an argument out of it, instead of me immediately stopping myself and starting writing out my own patterns. So the patterns that I observed I participated in:

- Taking it personally and feeling offended when my partner projects and blames me for things I did not do and for her own feelings.

- Not stopping and applying my own self-forgiveness, but being spiteful towards her where I wanted to show her how spiteful she is, when I felt offended, by me being spiteful back and making her feel bad.

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to take it personally and feel offended and inferior when I see / perceive that my partner blames me for something that I did not do / participate in.

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to take it personally when my partner talks to me in reaction and when I feel offended about what my partner is talking about.

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to blame my partner as spiteful and rude whenever I see / perceive that she blames me for her own reactions and when she does not want to stop herself and take full self-responsibility for her reactions.

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to not stop myself and my own reaction of feeling offended, angry and taking it personally when I see / perceive that my partner blames me for her own reactions or things that I did not do / participate in. I realize that there is no excuse for me reacting in this way no matter what my partner says or does and that I have to take full responsibility for my own reactions. Therefore I commit myself to stop and breathe immediately as I realize that I am reacting to what my partner is saying or when I see that she is in a reaction, then I observe my reactions and apply self forgiveness out loud and/or start writing about my reactions as long as I am not completely clear. I also state that I have realized that my partner is in a reaction and that we will not talk as long as the reactions don't stop completely. IF my partner will insist in trying to talk, I will continue to do self forgiveness out loud and/or explain to her that I will leave and come back when there will be no more emotions and reactions.

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to be spiteful back towards my partner whenever I react to my partner with taking it personally and feeling offended and/or when I see that my partner is spiteful, thinking that I will show with this that what she is doing is not acceptable. I realize that I will only fuel the reaction further. Therefore I commit myself to stop and breathe, apply self-forgiveness and then explain to my partner the pattern that she is participating in and that I will not talk with her until she is reactive.

My Declaration of Principle: 5. Self Responsibility

The fifth principle I am committing myself to live by is the principle of Self Responsibility – realizing only I am responsible for what I accept and allow inside of me, my relationships and my outside world and so with this responsibility: only I have the power and ability to change that which I see is compromising who I am, what I live and how this affects others.

What this simply means is that I do not search for excuses for my thoughts, feelings and emotions and actions or situations that I am in, because by blaming others for it, I take the power to change away from myself. Therefore, by taking Self Responsibility, I direct myself to look at the causes of my thoughts, emotional reactions and behaviors and habits and look at myself in self-honesty to see, how I can change myself and become a more effective human being, how I can be a practical example of how anyone can change self and start living according to the principle "do not do unto others what you do not want to be done onto you". I do this practically through writing, applying self-forgiveness and self-application, where I first see and realize how I can change and then actually do it in real life.

It is so simple, but often we do not want to hear about it - Self Responsibility - because we often don't want to direct ourselves and make responsible decisions. We would much rather "go with the flow", which basically means that we would just like to follow our desires for good feelings and avoid everything where we feel bad. But the fact is that we create these feelings, both good and bad, and so as long as we have these feelings that we subdue ourselves to, we do not have any freedom of choice. We like to say that we want to do something because it is our freedom of choice, while in fact we want to follow our feelings and emotions, because if we would not, we would feel bad. But his means that we have no real freedom of choice as long as we allow our feelings to direct us! Therefore, it is important to see and realize that we ourselves create our own feelings and emotions that we then subdue ourselves to, therefore abdicating our responsibility to make decision that are best for all. This way we abuse others as we do not consider the abusive consequences of our selfish actions that are based on feelings and emotions. This is not acceptable. Therefore, taking full self-responsibility for our thoughts, emotions and feelings and actions is very important if we want to free ourselves from our own self-abuse.

When we become Self Responsible and take our future into our own hands, we become more stable, calm and response-able, no matter what is going on in our lives. This way we also create Self Trust, where we become certain that we will always do our best to deal with any problems that we face and so resolve them not only in a way that is best for ourselves, but in a way that is best for all. This is how we then expand ourselves to not only stop at ourselves when our life is stable, but to also actively participate in the world and with others in stopping and removing the abuse of Life and other problems that we have on Earth, because we realize and understand that this is what is best for all and so best for ourselves, because this way we make sure that we treat all others the same way as we would like to be treated- And so we are doing our part in creating a world that is best for all. This is what Self Responsibility actually is.

Follow this link to see the full list of principles I am committing myself to live by.

Day 131 - Making things personal VS standing as a solution

Previous blogs are in Slovene.

One of the big problems of human beings is that when we realize that there is a problem, a consequence that is not acceptable, we tend to get emotional (angry), start searching for someone to blame and then blame others for it and demand that others find a solution and do something about it. This approach will never solve anything!

What we must do whenever we realize that there is a consequence going on (that is not acceptable and not what is best for all Life) is, that we take self-responsibility for it by finding a solution ourselves and then standing as that solution, standing as an example and showing to others how the problem will be solved when we all align our lives to the solution, without pointing fingers and making it personal.

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to wish / want / desire to blame and judge others about the points that I see are not acceptable. When and as I see myself wishing / wanting / desiring or doing this - I stop and breathe. I realize that this will only make more conflict and not solve anything. Therefore I commit myself to stop blaming and judging others, but to instead look at myself in self-honesty and correct my living according to what is best for all Life and to then instead of making things personal, rather stand as an example of how all must lives/ be a living solution. When I point out things that are not acceptable I do not blame a person but show and explain the unacceptable pattern itself and show / suggest with my example the solution that must be lived so that the point is directed in a way that is best for all Life.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realize that the only constructive way of focusing my attention on a problem is when I look for the primary cause that led to the unacceptable consequence. I realize and understand that only by finding / diagnosing the primary cause of the problem, I will ever be able to effectively implement a practical solution, by my own example, that will support what is best for all Life. I commit myself to only focus on problems from the starting point of finding the primary cause so that I can effectively realign myself and the problem towards a solution that is best for all Life.

I commit myself to always speak about the pattern when I speak about the problem, not the person or the one who is causing the pattern as I know and understand that this will only cause reactions and conflict, where the attention is then taken away from the problem as the pattern itself and so things get personal because blame and judgment is involved.

I recommend listening to this interview about why and how do we make things personal within our minds:

Day 101 - In-fear-iorities part 6

My previous blog is in Slovene.

When do I feel inferior?

- When I am naked.

I forgive myself the I have accepted and allowed myself to feel inferior whenever I am seen (half) naked.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define/see/perceive being naked as shameful, inappropriate, embarrassing and being inferior.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge and compare naked people with me and others and to judge their appearance according to pretty/sexy and ugly.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge and compare other man's penises with mine and others and to so feel inferior or superior and to allow myself to be defined by such comparisons and definitions.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to sexualize naked humans and use them as pictures for either sexual stimulation/attraction or repulsion.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to see naked people only as naked bodies as objects or pictures.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to connect naked women with sex and only see them as bodies and pictures for sexual pleasure as energy addiction. I commit myself to no more accept and allow myself to connect naked women with sex and to no more see them only as bodies and pictures for sexual pleasure as energy addiction. I commit myself to stop sex as energy addiction.

I commit myself to no more accept and allow myself to see/perceive naked people only as naked bodies, pictures but as living beings.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to connect naked humans with sex and with memories I have related to sex.

When and as I see myself connecting naked humans with sexual memories - I stop and breathe. I realize that with allowing this I only exist as a self-interested mind addicted to energies. Therefore I commit myself to no more accept and allow myself to connect naked humans with sex and sexual memories.

I realize and understand that judgment and comparison is not needed and is completely useless as it does not serve anyone any good, it is only a mind energetic polarity point where one wants to feel superior and with this also feel inferior. Therefore I commit myself to no more accept and allow myself to judge and compare naked people with me and others and I commit myself to not judge and compare the appearances of others and me when naked.

- When I stand out from the environment, when I am not according to the norm.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel inferior/superior when I in some way, that I judge as good or bad, stand out from the environment or when I am not according to the norm.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be afraid of being seen as abnormal when I am not according to the norm.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge being abnormal as something bad and shameful and to judge people who I see/perceive as abnormal in some way as inferior.

I commit myself to no more accept and allow myself to feel inferior/superior and to judge myself whenever I am not according to the norm in some way and I commit myself to no judge people and me according to good and bad, but to see people/things for what they really are while being aware that all Life is equal.

- When I am not according to what others anticipate.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel inferior when I am not according to what others anticipated.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think/believe/perceive that I should always fulfill others expectations.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to wish/want/desire to fulfill others expectation.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to wish/want/desire to be liked by others by fulfilling their expectations of me.

I realize and understand that when I treat others how I would like to be treated and do what is best for all, there is no need for me to worry about others expectations and opinions of me as I am doing what is best for all and what others are expecting or thinking is just the projection of their mind and their wishes/wants/desires that are according to self interest.
Therefore I commit myself to treat others as I would like to be treated according to what is best for all and to not wish/want/desire to be liked by others and to not worry and judge myself according to what others expect from me or what they thing about me.

- When I fart.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel inferior when I fart around people.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge and define farting as wrong, bad, shameful, embarrassing, disgusting and to judge people who fart as disgusting.

I commit myself to no more accept and allow myself to define farting as wrong, bad, shameful, embarrassing, disgusting and to judge those who fart as disgusting and I commit myself to no more feel inferior, embarrassed when others hear me fart.

- When I am louder than others.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel inferior, embarrassed when I am louder than others.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge loud people as inappropriate, rude, egoistic.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear other people's judgement when I expose myself more.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge exposed people.

I commit myself to no more accept and allow myself to judge exposed people and to no more fear of others judgments when I am exposed.

- When I smell myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel inferior when I smell myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge smelly people as inferior, disgusting, dirty.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define the smell of human body and sweat as disgusting and embarrassing.

I commit myself to no more accept and allow myself to judge and define smells of human bodies as disgusting, embarrassing and to no more judge people who smell as inferior, disgusting, dirty.

Day 99 - In-fear-iorities part 5

When do I feel inferior?

- When others work and I don't.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel inferior when I see others work and I don't.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge other people as lazy, rude and selfish when I work and others just watch. I commit myself to not feel inferior when others work and I watch and to judge others when I work and others watch, instead I breathe and direct myself to help if I can or just breathe.

- When others want to talk to me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to go into fear and feel inferior when someone says one wants to talk with me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to connect this with being punished, yelled at or bullied.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear that I will be punished, yelled at or bullied when someone wants to talk with me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to go into self judgment and to believe that I have done something wrong and be ashamed of myself when one says one wants to talk with me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel like I am being attacked and to wish/want/desire to go away when one says on wants to talk with me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to take it personally when one says one wants to talk with me.

I commit myself to no more accept and allow myself to go into fear, inferiority, shame when one says one wants to talk with me. Instead I breathe and I bring myself back here and direct myself in awareness that nothing bad can actually happen to me when one wants to speak with me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to take it personally and to judge myself as inferior when one says I have done a bad job, done something wrong or when one does not agree with me. I realize and understand that there is no point in taking things personally and to judge myself according to what others say about me/my work, instead I can self honestly assess other's observation and use them to improve myself and if what they express is just their opinion then not take it personally. I commit myself to no more accept and allow myself to judge myself and feel inferior to another when one judges me/my work or says that I have done a bad job or done something wrong or when one doe not agree with me, instead I breathe and use other's observations to improve myself and I don't take anything personally.

- When I fall.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel embarrassed and inferior when I fall or trip (in public) and to judge myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge others that fall or trip as clumsy and inferior to me because I didn't/don't and to laugh at them in order to feel superior.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself as inferior and clumsy if I hear other people laughing at me if I trip, fall.

I commit myself to no more accept and allow myself to judge myself and feel inferior if I trip or fall (in public). Instead I breathe and focus on the physical and my body to see if I am ok.

I commit myself to no more accept and allow myself to judge other as clumsy and inferior if I see them trip, fall and to not laugh at them in order to feel superior. Instead I breathe and help if they need it.

- When something doesn't work out as I planned, imagined, anticipated.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself as inferior and be angry with myself when something doesn't work out as I planned, imagined, anticipated and I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to feel superior and happy when something does work out as I planned, anticipated, imagined. I realize and understand that I am with this participating in a polarity design, therefore I commit myself to no more accept and allow myself to create anticipation and wish/want/desire for something to work out as I planned, imagined and to not create anticipation and to feel feel bad, inferior when it doesn't happen the way I wanted. Instead I direct myself in breath to work as best as I can to do what I planned and I commit myself to no more blame and judge myself as inferior and feel angry when things work out differently.

I will continue in the next blog...

Day 96 - In-fear-iorities part 3

When do I feel inferior:

- When someone is judging me.
- When I judge myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself feel inferior when someone is judging and comparing me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to take it personally when someone is judging and comparing me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to start judging and comparing myself when I see/perceive others judging and comparing me or others.

When and as I see myself feeling inferior, taking it personally and judging, comparing myself when others are comparing me or others - I stop and breathe. I realize and understand that being different in any way does not make me inferior/superior and does not change my or another's equal value as Life. Therefore I do no accept and allow myself to feel inferior/superior when and as I see/perceive others judging, comparing me or others and I do not accept and allow myself to judge, define and change my value in comparison through mind polarity, instead I live the realization that me and everyone is equal in value as Life.

- When someone has more money.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel inferior to people that have more money.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel superior to people that have less money.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge, compare and define value of people and living being according to how much money they are worth/they have. I realize and understand that Life itself is the most valuable and that all Life is equal in value and that defining any other value to life implies separation from life and so abuse of life. Therefore I commit myself to no more accept and allow myself to look at the value of Life through money, instead I live the realization that Life itself is the greatest value and that all Life is equal in value.

- When someone has something 'better'/'newer' than me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel inferior when I see/perceive that someone has something better/newer than me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel superior when I see/perceive that I have something newer/better than someone else.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to envy another when I see/perceive that one has something newer/better than me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to wish/want/desire to have what I see another has when I think/perceive that what one has is better than what I have.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to compete and compare with others through the material things and possessions.

When and as I see myself comparing myself with others through material possessions - I stop and breathe. I realize and understand that I am creating a polarity construct where I feel positive when I believe that what I have is better than what another has and where I feel negative when I believe that what another has is better than what I have. Therefore I do not accept and allow myself to exist within this polarity of positive/negative and I bring myself back here and breathe.

- When someone has something I don't.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel inferior when I see that someone has something that I don't and/or can't have.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel superior when I can have something that others can't have and/or don't have access to.

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to create a wish/want/desire for things within myself that I can't have and/or don't have access to.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to blame myself as not being good enough or smart/experienced enough when I see I don't/can't have things that others have and to within this make myself inferior and feel bad about myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to blame others for having things I don't/can't have as being selfish.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create anger and spitefulness within myself towards people who have more than me and who have things that I can't/don't have.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to envy people who have things that I don't/can't have.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to let go of the wish/want/need for material things, therefore I commit myself to let go of this addiction to the material things I don't really need and to stop the polarity of superiority/inferiority where I compare myself with others in relation to what I have/don't have and what others have/don't have.

I commit myself to no more accept and allow myself to feel inferior when I see someone that has something I don't/can't have and I commit myself to no more feel superior when I have something that others don't have.

I will continue in the next blog...

Day 97 - In-fear-iorities part 4

When do I feel inferior?

- When I am scared.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel inferior when I am scared and to believe that I am unable to stand equal to the fear and remove it through self-honesty and self-forgiveness. I realize and understand that I have created every fear through the mind and that I can remove the source of the fear through self-honesty and self-forgiveness. I commit myself to no more accept and allow myself to feel inferior to any fear that I experience, instead I stop and breathe and apply self-honesty and remove all points of fear with self-forgiveness and bring myself back here where I direct myself in breath.

- When others talk and I don't.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel inferior when others talk and communicate and I don't and also I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel superior when I talk.
When and as I see myself feeling inferior to others when I have nothing to say while others talk - I stop and breathe. I commit myself to no more feel inferior when others talk and I have nothing to say.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel inferior when I have nothing to say and when I don't know anything about the things others are talking about.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel superior when I talk about things that others don't know so much about.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to stop existing withing the inferiority/superiority feeling towards other people.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to wish/want/desire to have attention and be liked by others, instead of me liking myself and giving myself attention.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to wish/want/desire to have stories about myself that I could talk about so that I would be seen as 'cool', fun and experienced.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define myself as asocial and to within this create a negative emotion where I feel bad and inferior and not good enough. I commit myself to stop defining/seeing myself as asocial and to stop existing within the negative/bad experience of this self-definition.

- When someone pays something for me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel inferior when someone pays something for me and to feel superior when I pay something for someone. I commit myself to no more exist within the superiority/inferiority polarity in the point of payment.

- When someone's score is better/higher then mine.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel inferior when I see/perceive that someone's score is higher/better than mine.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to compare myself with others and compete with others by comparing scores. I realize and understand that We are all equal in value as Life always no matter what score/skill one has in anything.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to stop comparing myself, my skills/scores to those of others.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to stop taking it personally when my score/skill is not as good/high as someone else's.

I commit myself to no more accept and allow myself to compare myself and compete with others by comparing my skill/score and to no more take it personally and make it define myself as superior/inferior as I realize that I am within this creating the polarity of feeling good/bad about myself which is useless and unnecessary.

- When people look at me.
- When people wait for what I'll say.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to go into fear and inferiority when I get people's attention and when people start looking at me or expecting me to talk.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to in such situation wish/want/desire that people would like me, what I do, what I say.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel superior when people like me, what I do/say and to feel inferior when people don't like what I say/do.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to take personally what people think/say about me. I realize and understand that what people think/say about me is their own judgments which I don't have to make my own. Therefore I commit myself to no more accept and allow myself to take other people's judgments of me personally and I commit myself to no make other people judgments of me my own.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to take responsibility for the feelings of inferiority when others look at me. I commit myself to take responsibility for all inferiority feelings and to no more accept and allow them within me.

- When people wait for me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel inferior when others wait for me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself as too slow and rude when others have to wait for me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge others as too slow, rude when I have to wait for them.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create anxiety and nervousness within myself when others have to wait for me.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realize that have created this anxiety/fear when others wait for me when I was a child and my parents called me and I was afraid that they will not wait for me and leave me if I don't come quick enough.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear that my parents/people will leave me behind if I don't come quick enough when they call me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear being left behind/being lost if I don't come quick enough when someone calls me.

When and as I see myself creating fear/anxiety/inferiority when someone calls me - I stop and breathe. I realize and understand that I am always here with me in the breath and that I cannot really be left behind and lost because I never really left myself behind and I never lost myself. Therefore I commit myself to no more accept and allow myself to create fear/anxiety/inferiority within myself when someone calls me and/or when others wait for me, instead I breathe and direct myself within the realization that I cannot ever really leave myself behind or lose myself here in the breath.

I will continue in the next blog...

Day 95 - In-fear-iorities part 2

Continuing with the inferiority points:

- When I believe I should know something and I don't.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel inferior when I believe that I should know something that I don't.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think/believe/perceive that it is shameful when someone does not know something that one should/that I or others expected that one would know but didn't.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge people who don't know what I expected they would as inferior, stupid, irresponsible and to believe that they should be ashamed of themselves.

When and as I see myself judging another for not knowing something that I/others expected one will - I stop and breathe. I realize and understand that I would also not want to be judged or laughed at but assisted with the point I didn't know/understand yet. I commit myself to not judge people who don't know/understand what I/others expected them they will, instead I direct myself in breath to assist them.

- When I forget something.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to think/believe/perceive that I should never forget anything.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to judge others when they forget something as stupid, less than/inferior to me or those who don't forget and to within this judge myself when I forget something.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that knowing specific data/information out of memory is important and that this defines ones intelligence. I realize and understand that any data can be looked up and so judging people by what they know from the memory is an abuse where we make/define knowledge as information more important than actual life itself. Therefore I commit myself to not accept and allow myself to judge anyone based on the information they know or not know and their memory, instead I look and see others for what they really are here in the physical, which is life equal.

- When someone has done something I'd like to but didn't yet.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel inferior to another who has done somehting I'd like but didn't.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel superior to another when I have done something that another hasn't done. I realize and understand that I am with this constantly comparing myself with others and so competing with others where I exist in a polarity of inferiority/superiority. I commit myself to stop existing within this inferiority/superiority polarity game of comparison and judgment, instead I commit myself to accept myself as equal to all here in every breath.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think/believe/perceive that one's experience(s) define one's worth/value and to in this define people with more experience and superior to those with less experience. I realize and understand that it is impossible for all to have the same experience and that in fact the experience that one had does not impact/define or change one's value as life as it is always equal to the value of all life and so I commit myself to not judge/define my value or value of others by how much experience they have, instead I see the equal value in all as Life always.

- When someone shows me something about myself that I didn't know/realize yet.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel embarrassed, inferior and to judge myself this way when one shows me something about myself that I haven't yet realized/noticed.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge and define the fact that someone sees/realizes/knows something about me that I don't as embarrassing and to within this judge myself as inferior and be embarrassed. I realize and understand that this is nothing to be embarrassed about because we all exist in a way where it is harder to see self and self's patterns when one lives them and so we can help each other to point out each others patterns. Instead of being ashamed and feel inferior I can be grateful for such support and I commit myself to not accept and allow myself anymore to go into self-judgement and inferiority, but to instead breathe and use such support as to improve myself.

- When someone is older.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel inferior to someone that is older than me. I realize and understand that I have connected this with the idea of experience and the belief that older people have more authority and should be feared and respected.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that older people have more authority/power just because they are older.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think/believe/perceive that I should fear older people because I believe they have power over me.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realize that I have created the fear of older people when I was a child because older people were stronger than me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think/believe/perceive that older people are stronger than me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel superior towards younger people.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to think/believe/perceive that younger people should show me respect.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see people off all ages for what they really are here in the physical, which is equal as Life in every way no matter what one thinks/believes of oneself or another or how one presents oneself or how much money one has or what one's status and place in today's system of abuse.

I commit myself to no more accept and allow myself to define myself as superior/inferior towards other people and to see and treat all equally as Life as as how I would like to be treated.

- When someone is angry at me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel inferior to another when one is angry with me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to take it personally when I see/perceive that one is angry with me. I realize and understand that I am responsible for my thoughts/reactions and that another's thoughts/reactions are not to be taken personally as then I am unable to stand as Life here and assist/act in a way that is best for all. I commit myself to no more accept and allow myself to react with inferiority and take it personally when one is angry with me anger or when one reacts towards me with emotions. Instead I breathe and I direct myself to assist another the way I would like to be assisted.

- When someone is yelling at me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear for my life and create a fear of pain and react with inferiority when on yells at me. I realize and understand that I have created this reaction pattern when I was a child and got scared when parents started yelling at me because I did not understand.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to connect someone yelling at me with punishment and pain and to within this react wit inferiority.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to take it personally when one is yelling at me. I realize and understand that yelling is not to be taken personally as it is not about me but about how ones expresses oneself in a particular situation. Therefore I commit myself to no more accept and allow myself to react with inferiority when one is yelling at me but to instead breathe and listen and direct myself in a way that is best for all.

I will continue in the next blog...