My Declaration of Principle: 12. Not waiting for anything or anyone to take responsibility for me and this world

Previous blog is in Slovene.

The 12th principle I am committing myself to live by is the point of not waiting for anything or anyone to take responsibility for me and this world – but that I realize I have created who and how I am in this moment, therefore I have the responsibility to change who and how I am and so the realization that we as a collective created how and what this world is today and so it is the responsibility of the collective to change how and what this world is today.

It sounds simple enough and makes perfect sense in self-honesty. I am responsible for everything I do because I am the one doing it and allowing it. And within the bigger reality I am equally responsible for the world and how it is as I am participating and influencing the world as a whole. The realization in itself is simple. What this means in practice is that I must take self-responsibility in every breath to self-direct myself in a way that is best for all. This requires persistence and specificity, because when we really look at ourselves in self-honesty, we see how selfish and ignorant we really are and how we are allowing ourselves to be directed by our energetic emotional reactions and selfish thought impulses, instead of us being the directive principle and always directing ourselves according to The Principle of: do not treat (ignore) other as you would not want to be treated (ignored) in their place. So, how I strive to achieve this in my everyday life is to gently push myself through the resistances by using self-forgiveness and so changing myself to gradually take full-responsibility for myself and all my patterns, thoughts, emotions and feelings. I observe myself and see where I still blame others for how I feel or for the situation I am/we are in. Then I change the pattern into looking at what can I do to stand as the solution for the problem/abuse I see I have since now avoided, ignored or participated in. I direct myself to get involved in activities that have to be done in order to create a world where a dignified life for all is guaranteed. Such as politics, education and developing effective, consistent patterns that will support me and everyone else in reaching our full potential and stopping all the (self) abuse that we now still accept and allow in this world. This also includes writing a blog for self support and support of others. Reading, sharing and rating the blogs and common sense principles. Educating myself about how the mind works and how I can become more effective and more aligned with The Principle, how the system works, looking at problems and developing practical solutions that everyone can apply.

So, it is all about forgiving away my selfishness and aligning myself with The Principle, to stand as the solution to all the abuse in this world.The only reason why we have all this abuse in our world is because we are all individually accepting it and allowing it and even participating in it, creating it. This is not acceptable and so, we are all responsible to take complete self-responsibility to change ourselves and start doing what is best for all in every breathe.

Follow this link to see the full list of principles I am committing myself to live by.

Day 207 - Gaming and work - redefining fun

Previous blog is in Slovene.

I see how I still fall for the emotional polarity experience towards gaming and work. When I game or think about it, I experience these positively charged emotions: excitement, exhilaration, expectation, anticipation, elation, achievement and winning.
In relation to work and doing what needs to be done, I experience more of an emotionally negative resistance. I cannot seem to find a more specific word for it. It is a mixture of me justifying that work is not fun because mostly I do not feel any positive feelings while working and the point that I judge myself and make myself nervous and frustrated when I have a hard time thinking about what the solutions are for the problem that I have to solve.
I also see a difference between work and gaming, where in a game, I can learn and master all the controls quickly and then it is just a matter of trying until I achieve the goal or do something that I consider awesome because I cannot do that in real life. While at work, it is much harder the master all the "controls" and tools that I can use, because the real world is much more complicated and so one needs a lot more practice and patience. I see now why we (our minds) like games so much. It is because games work more like our minds, where everything can be done quickly, where you can "achieve" something quickly and get the fix of excitement or a sense of winning and achieving something. While in real life, this goes much slower and requires one to put a lot more work into something in order to achieve a goal. Therefore this addiction to gaming is basically an addiction towards the mentioned positive feelings and a sense of quick "achievement", because one gets too lazy to actually work for the goals and achievements in real life.

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to play games in order to create for myself the feeling of quick "achievement", excitement, exhilaration, expectation, anticipation, elation and winning / superiority, where I would then feel more of me as being something more and better than what I was before playing the game. When and as I see myself playing games in order to create for myself the quick positive feelings - I stop and breathe. I realize and understand that I am within this creating the positive polarity in relation to gaming - work, where I will then feel the opposite emotions towards real life work. I commit myself to make sure that I do not participate in gaming from the starting point of creating the quick positive feelings of "achievement", excitement, exhilaration, expectation, anticipation, elation and winning / superiority. Instead I commit myself to immediately apply self-forgiveness on such desires within the realization that I will be much more effective on all levels when I stop defining and separating activities into either work or gaming, where one has to be fun and the other not.

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to define fun as a positive experience of feelings, such as excitement, exhilaration, expectation, anticipation, elation, achievement, winning, relaxation. I see and realize that this definition of the word fun does not support me as I am creating an energetic polarity of good and bad with it and so making myself unstable and ineffective. Thus I commit myself to no more define the word fun according to the positive polarity feelings, such as excitement, exhilaration, expectation, anticipation, elation, achievement, winning, relaxation.

Word redefinition: fun

Dictionary definition:
: someone or something that is amusing or enjoyable : an enjoyable experience or person
: an enjoyable or amusing time
: the feeling of being amused or entertained

Creative writing:
Fun sounds like fond, which means having a liking towards something or someone. This also means that I am close to what I am fond of, like being it or liking to be as what I am fond of. And since being fond of something is just me experiencing me in relation to what I perceive I am fond of, I am basically in that just being fond of myself, close to myself, liking myself as who I am in relation towards myself in that moment, thus having, creating and being fun / fond.

New definition:
Fun: intimately being and accepting myself in breath, without blame, judgment and (energetic) polarity, in relation to myself and what I am doing in the moment.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see and realize that I do not have to exist within and as the negative polarity of resistance and not having fun when I am working. When and as I see myself believing that I am not or cannot have fun while working and doing something that has to be done - I stop and breathe. I remind myself of the realization of what fun really is and how I have redefined the word and within this commit myself to always make sure that I create fun for myself no matter what I work on, where I am and what I have to do.

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to come up with justification for why I cannot have fun. When and as I see myself creating justifications in my mind for why I cannot have/create fun for myself - I stop and breathe. I realize and understand that only I decide to create and be fun and that this is never conditioned by something outside of myself. Thus I commit myself to always make sure that I do not accept and create justifications for why I cannot create fun for myself. Instead I make sure that I am the directive principle of creating and being fun no matter where I am or what I do.

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to believe that I can only get fun by someone / something else and that fun is conditioned by my exterior conditions. When and as I see myself thinking / believing that I can only get fun by someone / something outside of myself and that fun is conditioned by my exterior environment - I stop and breathe. I realize and understand that I am the one always creating fun for myself by applying the redefined fun that is not energetically polarized. Thus I commit myself to make sure that I do not participate in the polarized fun, but to instead make sure that I practically live and create the redefine fun for myself no matter where I am, what I am doing, what I have to do and who I am with.

My Declaration of Principle: 11. No one can save you, save yourself

Still waiting for a savior?

Still waiting for a savior?
The eleventh principle I commit myself to live by is he realization that I must save myself, because no one can do it for me. This means that I use the tools and principles of Desteni is my guide, but I must walk the path myself. We are here to assist and support each other in this process from Consciousness to Awareness/LIFE and what it means to live – but the process itself, where you are alone with yourself in your own Mind: is walked alone.

If we look at the basic tools of Desteni: self-honesty, self-forgiveness and self-correction, everything is about self. Only I can be honest with myself about what goes on in my thoughts, what emotions and feelings I am creating - no one can do this for me. If I do not allow myself to see the abuse and the patterns that I am creating and allowing within my mind and consequently in my living actions, then I cannot stop myself and correct my behavior and my starting point. No one can force me to change myself and who I make myself to be. It is really a simple point that we all understand: every one is completely responsible for self, who self is, what one accepts and allows. Thus any king of idea that some sort of a savior can save us from our own acceptances and allowances, is just a delusional idea, because it is practically impossible for someone to save us: we must save ourselves by changing ourselves and align ourselves to always work according to the Principle that is Best for All: Do not do unto others as you would not want to be done unto you. This does not just happen because we decided so in one moment. We have to walk a process of practical self.change that requires actual work and effort. There is no real quick solution.

The way I do this is as explained, through using the (Desteni) tools of self-honest writing, where I look at myself daily and see the thoughts that I am thinking, the emotions and feelings that I am creating and the living actions I am accepting and allowing. This way I see where I am being selfish, inconsiderate, egoistic, ignorant, spiteful or in some other way distracted by my positive feelings and other mind constructs that are not necessary and through which I create and allow abuse within myself and so in this world. Then I apply self-forgiveness on every specific pattern that I identify in my writing with which I release the point, take responsibility for it and commit myself to no more live the same way and to change myself. I write down the solution, the who I have to become as a solution that will be best for all and thus best for me as well. Then, after the writing, I make sure that I apply the correction practically in my everyday life. And this takes practice, because I lived a lot of the abusive patterns for a long time and so I have to learn to unlearn them and change myself in how I direct myself in such situations so that I am aligned with the Principle.

Many people may find it scary, that each one is fully responsible for oneself and that each one must save oneself, because no one else can do it for another. But when you really look at it without the emotions, it is quite liberating, because one is just dependent on self, meaning, we do not have to wait for a savior to come and save us, we can just do it ourselves, each one alone, but still each one helping each other as well when another is willing to receive some support through perspectives and experiences of others that have walked before him/her.

So, what are we waiting for? Let's save ourselves by being the change that we want to see in the world. It is not a quick fix or a magical solution, but it is The Solution.

Day 190 - My Declaration of Principle: 10. Making Love Visible

The 10th principle I commit myself to live by is the principle of: Making Love Visible – through me not accepting/allowing anything less than my utmost potential, I support those in my life to reach their utmost potential, to love them as I have shown love to myself by gifting to me my utmost potential, the best life/living experience and show others as I have shown myself what it means to LIVE.

Through walking my process of applying self-honesty and self-forgiveness I firstly start loving myself by stopping the self-blame, self-hatred, self-judgment and other self-abuse, where I make sure that I give myself attention and care. With this I stop suppressing my own problems (thoughts and emotional reactions) that come up within me and take complete self-responsibility for them, where I make sure that I align my living principles to practical common sense and what is Best for All. This means that I create relationships with others based on the understanding that we are all equal as Life and that separation between us is actually not real, because it is just a selfish perception of spite within my mind, that I used to justify my selfishness, my ego, my ignorance and my abuse towards others.

Walking and applying this practically is a process of conscious effort to change myself practically, where I for example examine where do I react to others with anger, blame and spitefulness, forgive these emotions, thoughts and patterns of behavior and then apply the correction practically, where I don't react anymore to another emotionally. Instead I understand that I don't have to take what others do personally, but put myself into their shoes and see what they are going through and so, based on my realizations and self-correction, stand as support for them, where I listen, understand and explain how I have dealt with such and similar problems another is facing and how I have learned to take responsibility for myself, to be my own solution to every problem that I created and become aware of.

Within such constant practical application I take self-responsibility for myself where I learn to live the word care and love practically, not as an emotion that is sometimes here and sometimes transformed into hate and spite. And as I gave an example above, this is how I make love actually visible through the ways I change myself in how I approach myself, other people and any situation that needs to be directed in a way that is Best for All.

Making love visible often also means to help me and others to see what I/they don't really want to see by being brutally self-honest and finding the core of the problem within me or another, as only by taking self-responsibility for the primary cause of the problem within ourselves, we can truly remove it by changing ourselves and standing as a solution. This means that I must push myself though the fears and perceived limitations and make sure that I do not accept any bullshit from myself or another, because only by going beyond the fears and perceived limitations can we truly extend our potential and so make sure that we become the best we can be.

There cannot be any visible love if we simply allow ourselves and each other to stagnate within our comfort zones that we trapped ourselves into because of our fears and emotions. It is our responsibility to constantly encourage ourselves and each other to break all self-limitations and stop all the ignorance, until we can be sure that all abuse of Life has been stopped and prevented.

Day 189 - My emotional reaction to being scammed

Today I had an emotional reaction to some people who were pretending to collect donations, because I bought into it and then I realized what is really the case. I was scammed.

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to feel ashamed and angry with myself when I realized that I was scammed and gave some money to people that were not doing what I thought they were. When and as I see myself feeling ashamed and/or being angry with myself when I realize that I was scammed - I stop and breathe. I realize and understand that I have defined being scammed as shameful and that I have perceived myself as not being able to be scammed easily and so I judged myself for it unnecessarily. Thus I commit myself to not go into shame and/or be angry with myself when I realize that I was scammed, instead I look at how I prevented myself from realizing what is actually going on and how I can be more aware and ask questions and make sure that I understand the situation and not just assume and believe what others say or how others present themselves.

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to be angry at the people who scammed me and to wish/want/desire to get at them and make them pay for it just because I felt wronged. When and as I see myself feeling wronged and being angry at another when one scams me or tries to and wanting to make one pay for it - I stop and breathe. I realize and understand that I can simply stop my anger reaction by taking a few breaths. I also realize that blaming another for wanting to scam me is selfish as well as I do not really understand another's situation and circumstances that lead another into trying to scam others. Thus I commit myself to not blame the people who scam others and to instead put myself into their shoes and investigate why are they in a position where they scam people and then see what the best solution is for making sure that no one has to scam anybody in order to live in dignity.

Day 188 - Reactions to stealing and law

I will be writing on the point of law abidance and my judgments towards people who do not abide the laws and/or who steal.

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to feel superior to others when I abide the law and they don't. When and as I see myself defining/perceiving myself as superior when I abide the law and others don't - I stop and breathe. I realize and understand that I have defined abiding the law as a good thing and so not abiding the law as something bad, shameful, unacceptable where I have in this made myself superior to others, but also would feel inferior if I would break the law. Thus I commit myself to make sure that I do not make myself feel superior/inferior, based on the idea of abiding the law or not.

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to react with fear, spitefulness and superiority towards the saleswoman when my partner told me that she deliberately charged her a product that she didn't buy in order to get more money.

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to judge people who steal, do not abide the law and/or are abusive and selfish, as inferior to me. When and as I see myself judging people who I see/perceive are stealing, not abiding the law and/or are abusive and selfish, as inferior to myself - I stop and breathe. I realize and understand that I am creating the separation of superiority/inferiority, where I am only considering my self-interest in wanting to feel superior, instead of taking into consideration all the factors and conditions that we all accepted and allowed within this world where stealing and breaking the law is sometimes actually necessary for people to even survive and where we are thought by example that only caring about self-interest is normal and a part of human "nature". Thus I commit myself to make sure that I do not judge as inferior those who steal, do not abide the law and/or are abusive and selfish, instead I make sure that I explore and understand the causes of why these things happen and the I look at what is the best solution and stand as an example where I support others, as I would like to be supported in their place, in showing the how we can/must take self-responsibility for changing ourselves and the world in a way where stealing and breaking the law will not be required in order to have a dignified life.

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to react with fear to the fact that something was stolen from my partner because I perceived this as losing something valuable. When and as I see myself fearing of losing money and/or something valuable - I stop and breathe. I realize and understand that when something can be taken away from me this means I really had it and so it is pointless to create the fear of losing it as this will certainly happen. Thus I commit myself to make sure that I do not create the fear of losing money and/or something that I perceive as valuable that can be taken away because I understand that I never really had it in the first place.

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to react with spitefulness towards the saleswoman who stole something because I judged her as evil and inferior because she took away something without permission. When and as I see myself reacting with spitefulness towards someone who stole something - I stop and breathe. I realize and understand that I am judging the person for doing something without the consent of another where I then make myself feel superior and justify it with the statement that doing so is abusive and unacceptable, instead of putting myself into the shoes of others and taking into consideration all the factors/conditions that brought another into a position where he/she would steal or do something without permission. Thus I commit myself to make sure that I do not react with spite to others and judge them as evil when I see/perceive that they stole something or did something without permission of another, instead I put myself into the shoes of others and stand as an example of how we must take self-responsibility for ourselves and the world in order to create a society where stealing will not be necessary and where we will all consider what is best for all.

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to define following the law as just and fair where I would then feel superior to other who I would see/perceive as not following the law. When and as I see myself making myself feel superior to those I see/perceive are not following the law - I stop and breathe. I realize and understand that laws in this world are corrupted and written in a way where some get more "justice" than others based on how much money they have and so it is all based on selfishness. Thus I commit myself to make sure that I do not define/perceive following the law as just and fair and then make myself superior to those I see/perceive are not following the law as I understand that most of the laws are based on selfishness and so must be rewritten in a way that is best for all, where following the law will actually grand to all a Dignified Life.

Day 187 - Living the word Care

Previous blog is in Slovene.

In this writing I look into the point of caring and how I can expand myself by living this word, not only in my immediate environment, but also towards others and the world as a whole.

Preparing the food:

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to not care about preparing my own food and helping to prepare the food with my partner and others for us to eat. When and as I see myself not caring about the reparation of food - I stop and breathe. I realize and understand that I am being selfish and so I must make sure that I take responsibility for preparing my food and helping to prepare the food that we eat or at least make an arrangement where I take care of something else for another while he/she prepares the food also for me. I commit myself to make sure take I take the self-responsibility for preparing my/our food and that I make arrangements where I do something for another when he/she prepares the food for me.

Responsibility towards others / those not in my immediate environment:

I forgive myself for NOT accepting and allowing myself to care about others who are not in my immediate environment, who I do not communicate directly with. When and as I see myself not considering/caring about others who are not in my immediate environment and who I do not communicate directly with - I stop and breathe. I realize and understand that I am a part of the whole existence and that I create consequences with my (in)actions that also have an impact on the existence as a whole, thus I must make sure that I care about the existence as a whole and not only about my immediate environment. Thus I commit myself to make sure that I do not disregard or not care about those not in my immediate environment and that I develop care and self-responsibility towards the whole existence equally, by standing up and speaking for those that do not have a voice in my environment, by participating in the education of myself and others about the state of the world and the solutions that can be implemented to create a dignified life for all.

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to care less about things/people that I consider as far away where I can't see them. When and as I see myself caring less for those I consider are far away where I can't see them - I stop and breathe. I realize and understand that I am being selfish and self-limited when I consider what I care about based on how far away someone/something is from me or whether I can see one/it or not. Thus I commit myself to make sure that I do not care less about things/people that I perceive are far away where I can't see them and to instead expand my awareness and deal with/consider all problems equally, based on practical common sense priority that is best for all.

I forgive myself that I have NOT accepted and allowed myself to expand my caring more into the Desteni group in forums, hangouts and other participation, by coming up with excuses for it. When and as I see myself holding myself back from caring/participating more within the Desteni group, forums, hangouts etc. and coming up with excuses for it - I stop and breathe. I realize and understand that I am being selfish by not participating and caring for the activities within the group when I see that I can and by coming up with excuses. Thus I commit myself to make sure that I expand my participation and caring for the activities and others within the group by participating in the Desteni group, forums, hangouts and other activities, whenever I see that I am able to.

I forgive myself that I have NOT accepted and allowed myself to remove all the points of "I don’t' care" towards the world as a whole. When and as I see myself existing within and as the "I don't care" character - I stop and breathe. I realize and understand that I am within this being selfish and spiteful just because I perceive that I certain point/problem is not directly connected with me. Thus I commit myself to make sure that I remove all the points of "I don't care" towards others and the world as a whole and to make sure that I consider, find, suggest and stand as a solution that is best for all for all and any problems that I encounter within the world as a whole.

Day 182 - Running away from self by desiring

Previous blog is in Slovene.

I am working on removing the point of desire / excitement of looking / turning my head at woman that I would perceive as being sexy / having an arousing / perfect body. I've already worked on the obvious points of how I define / judge what is attractive and what not. But there are still points that I missed and are not so obvious. Thus I will look at what other points come up in relation to this point.

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to see / perceive / believe / judge / define myself as unworthy and incapable of meeting / talking to / being with / having sex with any kind of woman I want / like, back when I was still in middle school, because I have defined myself as too ugly, too shy, too scared and too boring to be / deserve to be with a woman I really like and / or find attractive. When and as I see myself seeing / perceiving / believing / judging / defining myself as incapable of meeting / talking to / being with / having sex with any kind of woman I want / like - I stop and breathe. I realize and understand that all these perception/beliefs about myself are not true as I made them up within my mind by convincing myself that I am in fact inferior to other men and woman, by simply repeating it in my mind over and over. Thus I commit myself to no more accept and allow myself to see / perceive / believe / judge / define myself as unworthy and incapable of meeting / talking to / being with / having sex with any kind of woman I want / like.

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to, because of the above beliefs, create and exist within and as the desire / wish / want within myself to one day be with a "perfect" woman that I will like / find attractive the most as a happiness point and proof to myself that I am not in fact inferior and that I can really be with any kind of woman that I like / find the most attractive. When and as I see myself creating / existing within and as the desire / wish / want to one day be with a "perfect" woman that I will like the most and find the most attractive as a point/desire of proof to myself that I in fact can do it and that I am not inferior - I stop and breathe. I realize and understand that I do not have to in fact be with such a "perfect" woman in order to prove to myself that I am equally worthy to be with such a woman and that I am not inferior, because the point is to simply stop seeing/defining myself as inferior.

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to judge / blame myself as being without courage and so inferior, because I did not approach, get to know and/or have sex with woman that I really liked and/or found attractive in my life. When and as I see myself judging / blaming myself as being without courage and so inferior, because I did not approach, get to know and/or have sex with woman that I really liked and/or found attractive in my life - I stop and breathe. I realize and understand that this judgments are pointless and not real, because I know that what I believe about myself has does not change the fact that all Life and all living beings are in fact equal. Thus I commit myself to not judge / blame myself as being without courage and so inferior, because I did not approach, get to know and/or have sex with woman that I really liked and/or found attractive in my life. Instead I simply see how this was a part of my life where I still subdued myself to my own fears that I experienced when I was around people and women because I didn't know any better at that time.

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to think / believe / perceive that I can only prove to myself that I do have the courage and that I am in fact equal, if I actually have sex with and be with a woman that I perceive as "perfect" and the most "attractive". When and as I see myself thinking / believing / perceiving that I can only prove to myself that I do have the courage and that I am in fact equal, if I actually have sex with and be with a woman that I perceive as "perfect" and the most "attractive" - I stop and breathe. I realize and understand that I already am equal and/or have courage to do this as I have already proven to myself with removing the fears and so there is no point in actually doing it as this would just be me following the desire / want / need for the positive experience / emotion of happiness / pride that I perceive I would get if I would be with and/or have sex with such a perceived "perfect" woman that I would not dare to approach in the past. Thus I commit myself to no more think / believe / perceive that I can only prove to myself that I do have the courage and that I am in fact equal, if I actually have sex with and be with a woman that I perceive as "perfect" and the most "attractive".

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to wish / want / desire to experience the feeling of pride / happiness / satisfaction with myself that I perceive I would experience if I would be with and/or have sex with a woman that I would perceive as "perfect" and the most attractive. When and as I see myself wishing / wanting / desiring to experience the feeling of pride / happiness / satisfaction with myself that I perceive I would experience if I would be with and/or have sex with a woman that I would perceive as "perfect" and the most attractive - I stop and breathe. I realize and understand that I am participating in the polarity emotional design, where I think / believe that I need such a woman in order to be happy, proud and satisfied with myself. I realize and understand that I need nothing at all in order to be proud of myself, happy and satisfied, because I am the only one that can give all that I want to myself by myself, because I also took all that I think I do not have or cannot give to myself away from myself, by myself, by simply starting to believe that I don't have it in the first place. Thus I commit myself to no more wish / want / desire to experience pride / happiness / satisfaction by being / having sex with a "perfect" attractive woman and to also no more think / believe / perceive that only such a woman can give me what I want, because I know that I am the only one that can stop this separation within myself.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to be happy with myself, satisfied and proud of myself. I realize and understand that me wanting a certain woman is just me running away from myself, where I do not give to myself the satisfaction of being whole, complete, happy, satisfied and proud of myself as a living being that does not need anything or anyone else in order to enjoy self. Thus I commit myself to always remind myself that there is no point in running away from myself by desiring certain women, because I am everything that I need in order to always enjoy myself as a living being.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to base my satisfaction with myself on what kind of woman / partner I am with and/or having sex with. When and as I see myself conditioning my satisfaction with myself based on what kind of woman / partner I am with and/or having sex with - I stop and breathe. I realize and understand that I am with this separating myself with the belief that how I experience myself and how I am satisfied with myself is dependent on the woman/partner I am with, which is a projection. Thus I commit myself to no more condition my experience / satisfaction with myself with what kind of woman/partner I am with, instead I make sure that I am my own satisfaction in all ways.

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to look for satisfaction by looking at women and turning my head whenever I see a woman that I perceive as "perfect" looking. When and as I see myself wishing/wanting/desiring to get satisfaction by looking at women - I stop and breathe. I realize and understand how I have with this separated myself from satisfaction through the belief that satisfaction is en energetic experience that I can only get by looking at "attractive" women. Thus I commit myself to be my own satisfaction and no more define it as an energetic feeling of desire/excitement when looking at "attractive" women.

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to believe that I will have no "satisfaction" and/or miss out on "satisfaction" if I stop looking at women from the point of desire/excitement. When and as I see myself believing that I will have no "satisfaction" and/or that I will miss out on satisfaction when I stop looking at women from the starting point of desire/excitement - I stop and breathe. I realize and understand that I have with this limited the experience of satisfaction with the energetic experience of desire/excitement when looking at women, which is a separation and self-limitation. Thus I commit myself to no more believe that I will have no satisfaction" and/or that I will miss out on satisfaction as I stop looking at women from the starting point of desire/excitement.

Word redefinition: satisfaction

I have lived the satisfaction as an experience of excitement/desire that I created when I was looking at women, or after I had sex. I also felt satisfied when I've done a good job, e.g. passed the exam, had a good meal, watched a good movie, played a good game. Thus connecting it with a positive feeling of getting/achieving something that I desired.

Dictionary definition:
1.
a.The fulfillment or gratification of a desire, need, or appetite.
b. Pleasure or contentment derived from such gratification.
c. A source or means of gratification.
2.
a. Compensation for injury or loss; reparation.
b. The opportunity to avenge a wrong; vindication.
3. Assurance beyond doubt or question; complete conviction.

Sounding the word:
sat is faction
sad direction
sit in action

Word polarity:

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to define the word satisfaction as a positive word where I would feel something more when I would be satisfied and feel unfulfilled when I would not be satisfied.

New definition:

The self-fulfillment and self-enjoyment within the letting go of all the energetic wishes / desires / wants / needs and simply being here within breath.

Day 177 - What does socializing and being in company mean to me?

Previous blog is in Slovene.

Today I will look at the point of wants / desires and ideas / perceptions that I have towards socializing and how I see / experience myself while in company with others.

I see being in company / hanging out with others as a chance to express myself through interactions with others that I couldn't do otherwise. Within this I believe that this is fun, because I can expand myself and see where I am still limiting myself when I interact with others. I see I also connect hanging out with others with positive feelings of laughter, happiness, excitement and when I am in company and don't experience this feelings, I quickly become bored and not interested and so I believe that the company is boring, instead of removing the feeling / emotions that I create while with others.

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to think/believe/perceive that hanging out with others should be about feeling happy, laughing and being excited. When and as I see myself thinking/believing/perceiving that hanging out with others should be about feeling happy, excited and joking / laughing - I stop and breathe. I realize and understand that I have defined hanging out with others according to the feeling of happiness, excitement and joking, where I would the feel the epposite emotion - boredom, sadness - when I am with others and do not experience these happy feelings and would also consequently blame and define the company as boring / not my type / depressing / lifeless. I commit myself to no more connect/see/perceive/define hanging out with people as an activity where I and everyone should feel happy, excited and joke around. Instead I breathe and do not anticipate / make assumptions about how my experience with others should look like and I direct myself to in the breath, learn to enjoy expressing myself with others without emotional / feeling reactions / anticipations / wants / needs / judgments and without blaming.

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to think/believe/perceive that expressing myself with others is more fun than expressing myself alone and that I need others to get that "fun". When and as I see myself thinking/believing/perceiving that expressing myself with others is more fan than expressing myself alone - I stop and breathe. I realize and understand that I am with this separating myself from fun/enjoyable expression of myself. I realize that the enjoyment/fin of my own expression is not / cannot be dependent on others and if they are with me or not - thus I must make sure that I learn to express myself and enjoy/have fun with myself at all times where the fact that I am with others or alone has nothing to do with it. Thus I commit myself to no more think/believe/perceive that I can have more fun/enjoy myself more if I am with others and that I in such moment focus on learning how to express and enjoy my own company and expression so that I doesn't matter whether there is someone with me or not. I commit myself to observe how I behave when I am alone and with other to see how / where does my behavior change and to then make sure that I am always the same whether I am with myself alone or with others.

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to see/perceive/define the company/others as boring/lifeless/depressing/not my type of people when I am with them and do not feel excited, happy, but instead feel bored or afraid of expressing myself the way I do when I am alone because of self-judgment. When and as I see myself that I see/perceive/define the company/others as boring/lifeless/depressing/not my type of people when I feel bored around the or are afraid to express myself the way I do when I am alone - I stop and breathe. I realize and understand that I am projecting my emotions onto others and so blame them because I do not want to take self-responsibility for how I feel. Thus I commit myself to no more see/perceive/define the company/others as boring/lifeless/depressing/not my type of people when I am with them and do not feel excited, happy, but instead feel bored or afraid of expressing myself with them the same way as when I am alone. Instead I commit myself to look at my emotions and remove them with self-forgiveness and make sure the I am enjoying expressing myself the same way when I am with others as when I am alone.

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to wish/want/desire other people's company when I think of other and to go into imagination about how it would look like to have company. When and as I see myself wishing/wanting/desiring other people's company when I think of them and that I am imagining how it would be to have company - I stop and breathe. I realize and understand that I am within this separating myself into anticipations/desire of company where I actually desire the happy feelings I believe that would amplify. Therefore I commit myself to no more wish/want/desire other people's company when I think of them and to no more imagine how it would look like to have company because I understand that I am with this just creating anticipations/desires/wants/needs based on feeling and emotions where I then exist in these emotional experiences and completely miss what is actually here and how I can express and enjoy myself in that very moment of every breath.

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to see/perceive/define friendly competition among friends as fun and exciting and to connect this with the image of how people are playing sports or games and laughing, which is again a connection to happy positive feelings of excitement, happiness and joking around. When and as I see myself seeing/defining/perceiving friendly competition among friends as fin and exciting - I stop and breathe. I realize and understand that I have in that moment connected that with the image of people having positive feeling and me wantng/desiring positive feelings. Thus I commit myself to no more see/perceive/define friendly competition among friends as more fun than no competition and no interaction with others and to no more connect it with the positive feelings of excitement, happiness and fun and to no more desire/want/need to feel happy, excited.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define/see/perceive life as having to be fun where I am feeling happy and excited. When and as I see myself defining/seeing/perceiving that (my) life should be such that I will feel happy and excited - I stop and breathe. I realize and understand that I have within this defined life according to the positive feeling of happiness and excitement, where I would then feel like am I not having/living the best life if/when I am not feeling happy and excited. Therefore I commit myself to no more see/perceive/define/desire/want/need life as having to be such that I feel happy and excited because I understand that I am with this creating the positive energetic desire and a polarity, where I will believe that I must get these feelings of happiness and excitement in order to live as I should, instead of just being here, breathing and realizing that the real life is when I do not separate myself into desires and feeling/emotions, but just be with myself here in every moment of breath.

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to constantly search for the feelings of happiness and excitement in my life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think/believe/perceive that I will feel sad, bored and only have negative emotions left if I stop creating (searching for the positive feeling of happiness and excitement. When and as I see myself searching/creating the positive feeling of happiness and excitement - I stop and breathe. I realize and understand that this is a polarity construct where I constantly search for something that will "make me" happy and excited, instead of just being here with myself with every breath. I commit myself to no more search for the feeling of happiness and excitement and to forgive and stop all such desires/wants as I see them come up.

Day 173 - 5 steps for proper and effective meditation

Previous blog is in Slovene.

Have you ever tried to meditate? What does it even mean and what is it's purpose? Let's first look at the definition of the word:

Meditation:

1. The act of meditating.
2. Continued or extended thought; reflection; contemplation.
3. Transcendental meditation:

• A technique, based on ancient Hindu writings, by which one seeks to achieve a relaxed state through regular periods of meditation during which a mantra is repeated.

4. Devout religious contemplation or spiritual introspection.

From what we can get from an online dictionary, it would seem that meditation either involves some sorts of thinking or repeating of a mantra. Wait, what is a mantra?

Mantra:

1. Hinduism A sacred verbal formula repeated in prayer, meditation, or incantation, such as an invocation of a god, a magic spell, or a syllable or portion of scripture containing mystical potentialities.
2. A commonly repeated word or phrase.

Still confused about the real purpose of meditation? Let me help you with that.

Step 1: Understand the purpose of meditation:

The one and only purpose of real, self-supporting meditation is to achieve a state of stability within oneself, where one is not distracted by one's thoughts, feeling or emotions. In such a state one is present within every moment of hereness. One is simply being with oneself in awareness of one's every breath. This is the best way to remove all stress and anxiety, by not participating in ones thoughts, feelings and emotions. But most of the times, this is hard to do. Thus we need other tools with which we can support ourselves to achieve this state of self-enjoyment within practical self-direction. Yes, self-direction, because the fact that we do not participate in our thoughts, feelings and emotions does not mean that we sit somewhere in the corner, doing nothing or repeating a mantra. That is not really practical in everyday life, is it? It simply means that we are able to effectively direct ourselves in the physical while enjoying ourselves, without being under emotional stress or some other kind of distraction within our minds.

Step 2: Learn and apply the tool of self-aware breathing:

In order to meditate effectively, one has to use the proper tools. The first one is self-aware breathing. This simply means that we focus our attention on our breathing, where we breathe slowly and comfortably. If we are very anxious or nervous, we can help ourselves with counting. While we count from 1 to 3 we breathe in, then we hold our breath while again counting from 1 to 3. Then we breathe out while we count from 1 to 3 and wait again until we count from 1 to 3. The point here is to breathe in a comfortable, stable manner and be aware of it. If you don't find it comfortable to hold for 3 seconds between each in-breath and out-breath, then you can simply remove those two pauses.

This is how we help ourselves in the moment to become more relaxed, but we are not yet dealing with the cause of our stress. We have only prepared ourselves to be able to find and remove the cause.

Step 3: Learn and apply the tool of writing in self-honesty:

Now that we are aware of our breathing, we can start observing the cause of our stress / anxiety / nervousness. We do this by writing and applying self-honesty.

In self-honesty, we do not hide or try to hide anything that we know about ourselves from ourselves. We do this by not judging ourselves. We accept ourselves the way we are in the moment and we look at our thoughts, what we are thinking about, as well as what kind of emotions and feeling we are experiencing. These thoughts, feelings and emotions are the primary cause of our stress, anxiety and nervousness. When we think we separate ourselves from ourselves: instead of being here with ourselves in every breath, we "go" into our minds and believe that we are our thoughts, feelings and emotions and so we create stress for ourselves, by creating feelings and emotions. The only way for us to relax and start enjoying ourselves again in every breath, where we can be effective and self-directive as a living being, is to stop these thoughts, feelings and emotions. The only way we can do this is to write them out for ourselves in detail, to see what we are actually thinking and experiencing within us through feelings and emotions.

Step 4: Learn the tools of self-responsibility and self-forgiveness:

Now that we have written out our thoughts, feeling and emotions - the way that we experience ourselves - we can stop this experience by taking self-responsibility for our experience of ourselves (our thoughts, feelings and emotions) and applying self-forgiveness for every thought, feeling and emotion that we had created within ourselves and started to identify with. We do this by writing down the realization of how we have been participating in a specific mind pattern and then we write out a commitment, where we decide how we are going to change in practice, so that we do not cause the same experience again for ourselves of being "lost", distracted and separated from ourselves in our minds, feelings and emotions.

Here is a sample of how to write down an effective self-forgiveness statement, together with the realization and self-correction statement:

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to ...
When and as I see myself... (Trigger-Point/Pattern), I stop and breathe.
(Self-realization statement about the Pattern)
I commit myself to... (Correction)

Example:
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define and judge my ears as ugly when I see myself in the mirror.
When and as I see myself judging my ears as ugly when I see myself in the mirror, I stop and breathe.
I realize that I do not have to compare my ears and that this judgment of my ears and myself based on comparison does not help me in any way and so I don't have to think about it at all.
I commit myself to no more compare and judge my ears as ugly when I see myself in the mirror, instead I breathe and accept my ears the way they are as perfectly fine.

Step 5: Commit to apply practical self-correction:

In order to really stop all the stress in our life that we are creating for ourselves through participating in our thoughts, feelings and emotions, we have to also practically apply the realization and the commitment that we previously wrote down. This should not be too hard as we already wrote down the plan of how exactly we are going to change. All there is left for us to do is to simply start living the change in practice.

If you'll take these 5 steps seriously and apply them in your life every day, you'll become a true master of meditation and remove all the stress you ever created for yourself from your life. And so you will give yourself the chance and opportunity to become an effective and self-directive human being that enjoys self in every moment.

To learn more about how to effectively apply self forgiveness and mentioned tools I suggest you check out others posts in this blog and also check out other blogs where people use these tools HERE. I also suggest that you try out the free and simple online course DIP Lite, where you will learn how to apply these tools in a fun way.

Day 167 - Today I wrote a song: Because why not!

Today when I woke up I started rhyming a bit and so I wrote a song, because why not. So that is the title. I've also come up with a basic music for it but that requires more work so I'll see what I can do. Would be cool to see someone else making it into a song! Anyone welcome.

Because why not!

(by Blaž Cegnar)

(dark and monotone)

Our minds opinionated

few things investigated

mad men re-delegated

their lies as truth debated.

Most people get frustrated

and politicians hated

brainwash incorporated

solutions not created.

(higher, playful)

But now we found a way

no more shall we obey

the programs of the mind

that made us blind.

[chorus start]

With self-forgiveness and self-honesty

we stand as one to make the call.

Removing evil thoughts and selfish wants

we stand for Common Sense and what is Best for All.

No more we walk astray

no need to pray

come see and you shall find

how to stop the mind.

Now we have found a way

no more shall we obey

the programs of the mind

that made us blind.

With self-forgiveness and self-honesty

we stand as one to make the call.

Removing evil thoughts and selfish wants

we stand for Common Sense and what is Best for All.

[chorus end]

(low, serious)

Our minds, we get dissected

no mind-fuck undetected

no point left uncorrected

our beingness perfected.

Adventure is expected

no man is unaffected

Life shall be re-elected

all willing self-directed.

(higher, playful)

And now we make the way

for Life in Dignity to stay

for All - as we are all the same

and all abuse is our shame.

(repeat chorus)

Come join the party hall

it's free for all.