Day 250 - Fearlesness

I have been looking at the point of fearlessness and my desire to be without fears. Bellow are the self-forgiveness points I wrote out so far.

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to define being fearless as positive and having fear as negative and within this adding unnecessary extra judgment towards my experience of when I have fears or when I don’t. When and as I see myself defining/judging fearlessness as positive and fearfulness as negative – I stop and breathe. I realize and understand that judging/defining/perceiving fearlessness as positive and fearfulness as negative will not help me be stable and self-directive, because when I start judging having fears I don't apply the solution of looking what the fear is about and stopping it, and then I just create the desire to not fear, while I fear. Thus I commit myself to stop defining fearlessness as positive and fearfulness as positive, instead I simply see it as an experience where fear either is or is not involved.

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to desire to be fearless because I perceived it as something positive. When and as I see myself desiring to be fearless – I stop and breathe. I realize and understand that by desiring I am just creating another layer of feelings, instead of look at the source of fears and stopping it. Thus I commit myself to no more desire to be fearless and to instead look at the source of fear that comes up and remove it with self-forgiveness.

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to fear that I will always have fears and not be self-confident and inferior. When and as I see myself fearing that I will always have fears and not be self-confident – I stop and breathe. I realize and understand that I am with this fearing the fear itself. Thus I commit myself to always make sure that I do not fear the fear itself, but instead take it as an indicator that I haven’t look at the specific point and directed it without self-sabotage/self-doubt. So I look at the point and remove all self-sabotage/self-doubt/self-judgment with self-forgiveness and direct myself in self-certainty without fear.

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to decide that I would like to know how to be fearless and wonder about it, instead of looking at the cause of my fears and removing them. When and as I see myself thinking about how it would be to be fearless – I stop and breathe. I realize and understand that I can only make stop fears by looking self-honestly at the cause of my fears and removing it with self-forgiveness. Thus I commit myself that instead of wondering about how fearlessness looks like, I will find the cause of my fears and remove them.

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to become jealous of my schoolmate when I saw her being self-confident and without fears. When and as I see myself seeing/perceiving someone being fearless and becoming jealous – I stop and breathe. I realize and understand that I don’t help myself by being jealous; instead I can take the moment to enjoy the self-expression of the person and realize that all it takes to stop my fears is to look at the source cause of it and remove it with self-forgiveness. Thus I commit myself to not create jealousy towards people I see/perceive as being fearless, but to instead enjoy the moment of self-expression with them and apply self-forgiveness on the causes for my fears that may come up within me.

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to use the point of “I don’t know how not to fear” as a justification for keeping my fears. When and as I see myself thinking “I don’t know how now to fear” – I stop and breathe. I realize and understand that I am not being self-honest, because I know me and I know what I fear and why. Thus I commit myself to not accept the justification of “I don’t know how not to fear” and to instead have a self-honest look at the cause/source of my fears and apply self-forgiveness to let them go as I don’t need them and they don’t serve me or help me in any way.

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to take it as a confirmation that I don’t know how to stop my fears when I see I have fears coming up while comparing myself with someone else for whom I see/perceive has no fears. When and as I see myself taking it as a confirmation that I don’t know how to stop fears in moment where I realize I have fears coming up – I stop and breathe. I realize and understand that I simply haven’t allowed myself to admit the cause/source of my fears to myself yet. Thus I commit myself to no more take it as a confirmation that I don’t know how to stop fears when I see fears coming up, instead I allow myself to be brutally self-honesty with myself and see the cause/source of my fears and apply self-forgiveness to let it go as I know and understand that fears don’t help or protect me at all.

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to sabotage myself by thinking that I don’t know how not to fear and how to find the source of my fears. When and as I see myself sabotaging myself by thinking that I don’t know how not to fear and how to find out the source of my fears – I stop and breathe. I realize and understand that I simply have to slow down my thoughts, breathe more, write out the experience and ask more questions to see and come to the source of my fears to then remove them with self-forgiveness and let them go. Thus I commit myself to, when I see I have fears coming up, stop, breathe, slow down my thoughts and write out the experience and allow myself to be brutally self-honest and see the cause/source of my fears and then let it go with self-forgiveness.

My Declaration of Principle: 11. No one can save you, save yourself

Still waiting for a savior?

Still waiting for a savior?
The eleventh principle I commit myself to live by is he realization that I must save myself, because no one can do it for me. This means that I use the tools and principles of Desteni is my guide, but I must walk the path myself. We are here to assist and support each other in this process from Consciousness to Awareness/LIFE and what it means to live – but the process itself, where you are alone with yourself in your own Mind: is walked alone.

If we look at the basic tools of Desteni: self-honesty, self-forgiveness and self-correction, everything is about self. Only I can be honest with myself about what goes on in my thoughts, what emotions and feelings I am creating - no one can do this for me. If I do not allow myself to see the abuse and the patterns that I am creating and allowing within my mind and consequently in my living actions, then I cannot stop myself and correct my behavior and my starting point. No one can force me to change myself and who I make myself to be. It is really a simple point that we all understand: every one is completely responsible for self, who self is, what one accepts and allows. Thus any king of idea that some sort of a savior can save us from our own acceptances and allowances, is just a delusional idea, because it is practically impossible for someone to save us: we must save ourselves by changing ourselves and align ourselves to always work according to the Principle that is Best for All: Do not do unto others as you would not want to be done unto you. This does not just happen because we decided so in one moment. We have to walk a process of practical self.change that requires actual work and effort. There is no real quick solution.

The way I do this is as explained, through using the (Desteni) tools of self-honest writing, where I look at myself daily and see the thoughts that I am thinking, the emotions and feelings that I am creating and the living actions I am accepting and allowing. This way I see where I am being selfish, inconsiderate, egoistic, ignorant, spiteful or in some other way distracted by my positive feelings and other mind constructs that are not necessary and through which I create and allow abuse within myself and so in this world. Then I apply self-forgiveness on every specific pattern that I identify in my writing with which I release the point, take responsibility for it and commit myself to no more live the same way and to change myself. I write down the solution, the who I have to become as a solution that will be best for all and thus best for me as well. Then, after the writing, I make sure that I apply the correction practically in my everyday life. And this takes practice, because I lived a lot of the abusive patterns for a long time and so I have to learn to unlearn them and change myself in how I direct myself in such situations so that I am aligned with the Principle.

Many people may find it scary, that each one is fully responsible for oneself and that each one must save oneself, because no one else can do it for another. But when you really look at it without the emotions, it is quite liberating, because one is just dependent on self, meaning, we do not have to wait for a savior to come and save us, we can just do it ourselves, each one alone, but still each one helping each other as well when another is willing to receive some support through perspectives and experiences of others that have walked before him/her.

So, what are we waiting for? Let's save ourselves by being the change that we want to see in the world. It is not a quick fix or a magical solution, but it is The Solution.

My Declaration of Principle: 3. Living by the principle of self honesty

This is the most important principle in anyone's life, because self-honesty is a required precondition that enables one to see self as one really is and so the world as it really is. Without this principle, any meaningful change of self into an effective living being is impossible, because one is not able to see, realize and understand the real causes for ones behavior, emotions and thoughts within self and consequently, one also cannot realize the real causes for the problems that we see in the world. There is also a huge difference between honesty and self-honesty. We are honest when we speak openly to others about our thoughts, emotions and actions, about our intentions. But if we are not self-honest, then we don't really understand where are all our emotions, thoughts and intentions cumming from and why. When we are not self-honest, we don't see, realize and understand the real causes for our behavior and our state of beingness and so we also to not see, realize and understand the real causes for the state of the world and the problems that we have in this world. But what is most unacceptable is that, when we are not self-honest, we do not see, realize and understand how we ourselves have to change self in our thoughts and actions in order to solve the problems that we have in this world and stand as an effective solution that is best for all. Thus the principle of always being honest with self is always of the most importance.

I am directing myself to practice this principle of self-honesty every day in every breath. This means that I look at my thoughts, feelings and emotions and actions and get to see, realize and understand how I work, why am I the way I am and how do I have to practically change in order to become an effective human being, that stands as an example of how we humans can actually change our 'nature', the 'who we are' and decide to be, and become a force that does not allow abuse of life, but only what is best for All Life.

Through applying self-honesty, I have stopped drinking alcohol, because I realized what the actual effects of it are and why am I really drinking it. It was to run away from self and so because I knew that I can change and how to practically do it - I did it and stopped drinking alcohol, because I had no need for it anymore.

Through self-honesty I already realized many things. One of them being that I have to stand as an example of how every human can change and so how we can all together change and create a world that is Best for All. I realized that as long as there is any abuse of Life on Earth, the only meaningful and most important thing in my life or in life of any other being is to make sure to stop it, correct it and help to create a world that is best for all, because this is the only way that we can all make sure that we will never be abused and that everyone will have a dignified life that all can enjoy.

There is still very little self-honesty among people in this world and the result of it can be clearly seen everywhere in suffering and abuse of Life. This is not acceptable. We usually look at self-honesty as something frightening, because our mind doesn't want to face the facts, we often don't want to be completely responsible for ourselves, because it is so easy to go into one's mind / imagination and to let one's feelings and emotions to guide self, instead of self being self-responsible and directing oneself according to what is best for all. We see this the latter as hard and come up with tons of excuses of why we would rather not deal with self-honesty and just look away, like when we see a homeless person on the street. "Not my problem! It's his/hers own fault! Thank god I have my job!". Well, what if you were the homeless person or the one that is abuse? The one who no-one wants to help? In self-honesty, we put ourselves into the shoes of others and we treat others the same way we would like to be treated if we were in their place. Such behavior is not hard. It is much harder to look away and feel bad about it then to simply take self-responsibility to work on solutions that are best for all. Then one doesn't have to feel bad about anything anymore, because one is self-honest.

But we cannot just become self-honest in one moment and from that moment on do everything right and according to what is best for all, because it is a process of getting to know oneself in self-honesty through writing and observing self and then realizing how self must change. Then we can actually practice this change and in the end we actually become the change that we realized is best for all. This is why I am writing this blog and using the tools of self-forgiveness and others. This blog is a statement of my personal process and change that I am going through by applying self-honesty. I invite you to join me and many others in walking the process of self-honesty and self-change. Because after all, this IS what is BEST for ALL and what we all have to do in order to stop living in misery.

Follow this link to see the full list of principles I am committing myself to live by.

The Desteni of Living - My Declaration of Principle

Here I post the principles I am committing to live by as an individual, but also together with others. In order to create a world that is Best for All Life and where a Dignified Life for All is guaranteed, we as people have to start living by the principles, through which we will accept only actions that are supportive for All Life. Everyone has to realize for oneself that such principled living is necessary in order to stop all the abuse of Life and stand as an example of what is Best for All Life. I have to be the living example and this is my goal, therefore I will be taking every principle / point from this list and give practical examples of how I am living every individual principle and how I have changed within it and how I am also consequently changing the world. I will be updating this blog and posting a link beside each point / principle to the blog where I will be exploring and explaining the principle / point in detail.

1. Realizing and living my utmost potential.

2. Living by the principle of what is best for all – guiding me in thought, word and deed to always in all ways direct problems to the best possible outcome for all.

3. Living by the principle of self honesty – to ensure I am pure in thought, word and deed: that my within and without is equal and one. Who I am within is who I am without and vice-versa.

4. Self Purification through Writing, Self Forgiveness and Self Application – the action of realizing I am responsible for my own thoughts, words and deeds, to forgive myself for transgressions and change myself to ensure I take responsibility for who, what and how I am and through this know that I can trust myself to always be honest with me and so others.

5. Living the principle of Self Responsibility – realizing only I am responsible for what I accept and allow inside of me, my relationships and my outside world and so with this responsibility: only I have the power and ability to change that which I see is compromising who I am, what I live and how this affects others.

6. Realizing that who I am in thought, word and deed affects not only myself – but others as well and so with Self Responsibility in thought, word and deed – I take responsibility for myself and so my relationships to be Self Aware in every moment and live in such a way that is best for me and so others as well.

7. Living the Principle of Self Awareness – to be aware, to see, to recognize my own thoughts and Mind, to be self honest to the extent where I can take responsibility for when I see my thoughts / Mind is not what is best for me / others and commit to immediately take responsibility and change for myself and so for others.

8. With taking responsibility for myself, becoming aware of myself – take responsibility and become aware of others in my life, to assist and support them as I am assisting and supporting myself – to give as you would like to receive and do the extra bit every day to see where I can contribute to other’s lives and so my own.

9. Living the principle of self trust – as I commit myself to remain constant in my living of self honesty, self responsibility and self awareness, I stand as an unbending trust that I always in all ways know who I am no matter what I face and that in this I know, as proven in the constancy of my living that I will always honour and stand by what is best for all and so best for me.

10. Making Love Visible – through me not accepting/allowing anything less than my utmost potential, I support those in my life to reach their utmost potential, to love them as I have shown love to myself by gifting to me my utmost potential, the best life/living experience and show others as I have shown myself what it means to LIVE.

11. No one can save you, save yourself – the realization that the tools and principles of Desteni is the guide, but I must walk the path myself. We are here to assist and support each other in this process from Consciousness to Awareness/LIFE and what it means to live – but the process itself, where you are alone with yourself in your own Mind: is walked alone.

12. Not waiting for anything or anyone to take responsibility for me and this world – but that I realize I have created who and how I am in this moment, therefore I have the responsibility to change who and how I am and so the realization that we as a collective created how and what this world is today and so it is the responsibility of the collective to change how and what this world is today.

13. Honouring the life in each person, animal – everything from the great to the small of earth, that we expand our awareness and responsibility to creating the best possible life for everyone and everything and so ourselves.

14. Relationships as Agreements: individuals coming together using agreements as a platform to one-on-one expand, grow and develop as individuals in life and living to support/assist each other unconditionally to reach their utmost potential where the agreement is a coming together of individuals understanding what it means to stand as equals and to stand as one.

15. Sex as Self Expression – where sex is an united expression between individuals in honour, respect, consideration and regard of each other as equals, two physical bodies uniting in equality and oneness – a merging of two equals as one physically.

16. Realising that by the virtue of me being in this world – my responsibility does not only extend to my own Mind / my own Life, but to the minds and lives of everything and everyone of this earth and so my commitment is to extend this awareness to all of humanity to work together and live together to make this world heaven on earth for ourselves and the generations to come

17. I must in my thoughts, words and deeds – but most importantly in my living actions, become a living example for others in my world that is noticeable and visible when it comes to the potential of a person to change themselves and so change their world. So that more people can realise how we can change this world, by standing united in our self change within the principle of what is best for all to bring heaven to earth.

18. I am the change I want to see in me and my world – to bring heaven to earth is to bring into being, into living the LIVING PROOF of a PRACTICAL HEAVEN that can be seen and heard in our actions and words. We are the Living Heaven that must come into creation in this living world.

19. Through purifying my thoughts, words and deeds – my inner becomes my outer, so I bring into creation me as heaven into earth, realising it is not enough to ‘see the change / be the change’ – for change to become REAL it must be a constant, consistent living of me through the words I speak and the actions I live visible and noticeable to all in every moment of breath.

20. Realising that my physical body is my temple – my physical body is the living flesh through which and in which I will bring into being and create / manifest heaven on earth as me in my thoughts, words and deeds and so I honour, respect and regard – nurture and support my physical body as I would nurture and support me as equals: my body is me.

21. We are the change in ourselves and this world we have been waiting for: and so I commit to dedicate myself and my life for each one as all to realize this, as nothing will change if we don’t change in all that we are, within and without.

22. The realisation that for me to be able to change myself in thought, word and deed to the most effective living being that I can be and become – I first have to ‘know thyself’ and so commit myself to investigate, introspect and understand how I became who I am today, to prepare the road before me into self creation of a responsible, aware, self honest and trustworthy person for myself and so for all.

23. The realisation that for me to be able to contribute to change in this world – I have to get to ‘know thyself’ as this world and so commit myself to research, investigate and introspect the inner and outer workings of this world and align the systems of today to present and give the best possible life for all on Earth.

Day 104 - The manly me I wish to be

How I want to be perceive by others as a manly man.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to wish/want/desire to be perceive by others as a manly man that is tough, strong and not fearful.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define such man as superior and feel superior when I perceive myself this way and on the other hand to feel inferior when I do not perceive me this way.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think/believe/perceive being self-honest and open with others as weak and feel inferior in such situations.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear being self-honest and open with others and to worry that others may react negatively.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself and feel inferior whenever others react negatively to my self-honesty and openness and to feel superior when other react positively to my self-honesty and openness.

Why I prevent myself from being more open and self-honest with others:

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge my past and so to judge myself through my past and what I have done in the past. I realize and understand that judging myself for the past is pointless as it only creates the feeling of inferiority within me and is actually an excuse to not be here in the breath and take responsibility for what is here in the moment. I commit myself to no more accept and allow myself to judge my past and myself through my past, instead I take self-responsibility for what is here in the breath in awareness that there in no point to judge what is here in every moment because judgments are opinions of self-interest that are used as justifications for why not to be self-directive and self-responsible in the moment to do what is best for all in common sense.

Opinion:
noun
1. a belief or judgment that rests on grounds insufficient to produce complete certainty.
2. a personal view, attitude, or appraisal.
3. the formal expression of a professional judgment: to ask for a second medical opinion.
4. Law. the formal statement by a judge or court of the reasoning and the principles of law used inreaching a decision of a case.
5. a judgment or estimate of a person or thing with respect to character, merit, etc.: to forfeit someone's good opinion.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that opinions matter. I realize and understand that opinions are not facts and so do not matter, therefore I commit myself to not accept and allow myself to create opinions and to judge myself/others according to opinions, instead I consider facts and do what is best for all based on facts.

I see, realize and understand how not considering facts the way that is best for all but self-interested opinions, creates wars and abuse of life on Earth as it can now be seen in Syria.

2012 - Opinions, beliefs, judgments

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be afraid of being self-honest with self and also with other people.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be afraid of self-judgment and other people's judgment.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that it is important what other people think, instead of realizing that thoughts, opinions and beliefs are not real and of no value.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to feel threatened when being self-honest with self or/and other people.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that I can get hurt when being self-honest with self and/or other people.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that other people's judgments and blaming have something to do with me, with who I am, instead of realizing that judgments and blame are not real because they are all of the mind and are thus of no value.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that I am responsible for other people's judgments and blame, instead of realizing that I am only responsible for my own and that I can not stop other people's judgments and blame, they have to stop them themselves and I can only show them how by example.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that I have to control other people's judgments and blaming towards me so that they will think nice of me, instead of realizing that I cannot control others and what they think and that caring for such thing is a waste of time and energy because opinions, judgments, blame and beliefs are of the mind and are not real and therefore of no value whatsoever.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that I am 'less than' when other people judge or blame me, instead of realizing that this is just a belief/perception I have created for myself be. When and as I see myself believing/perceiving myself as 'less than' when being judged or blamed by another - I stop and I breathe. I understand that there is no use of blaming and judging myself and that others judgments and blame towards me are point that they have to take responsibility for and stop and I can only help them by being an example.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be proud of myself and to believe that pride raises my value, instead of realizing that I am only trying to hide my feeling of 'less than' through pride where I search for points I can be proud of. I realize that this is a mind polarity game of trying to be 'more than' and avoiding the feeling of 'less than', instead of just stopping and being equal with all here. When and as I see myself allowing pride or the feeling of 'more than' or 'less than' - I stop, I breathe. Instead I realize the uselessness of these beliefs and feelings and I direct myself here in the breath as an equal.

2012 - ending fear - this is the word I gift to myself

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be afraid of taking responsibility to find a suitable flat for me to move into.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be afraid of speaking with the owner of the flat as an equal.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be afraid to stand equal to and as the owner.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be afraid to speak up and stand for what is best for all.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be afraid to question the owner where it is common sense to ask questions whenever things are not clear.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to see and define myself as less then the owner and to justify my self-definition as less then with the excuse that he is more knowledgeable and more experienced, instead of being self-responsible and standing one and equal with the owner to make sure that the agreement is what is best for all.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be afraid of making a conflict between me and the owner instead of realizing that by taking self-responsibility I can direct the situation to be what is best for all and so make sure that I don't subdue myself to the feeling of being 'less then' and letting the owner impose only what is best for him.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be afraid of being scammed instead of taking self-responsibility and making sure that everything is written as an agreement and understood in a way that is best for all.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be afraid of making a bad impression to the owner instead of realizing that this is self-sabotage and to take self-responsibility to direct self in common sense and what is best for all.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be afraid of breaking the deal/agreement because of not being humble and not subduing myself to the owner instead of realizing that by doing this I support the abuse, thus I take self-responsibility and self-direction to stand equal to the owner and directing the situation in self-honesty and the way that is Best for All.

I do not accept and allow myself to subdue myself to anyone or anything because this is abuse of Life and I take full self-responsibility in every moment, to be self-honest and do what is Best for All.
I do not accept and allow myself to be afraid of anyone or anything and I do not accept and allow myself to define myself as less then anyone else as this is abuse of Life.
I do not accept and allow myself to fear rejection, to fear conflict and to fear speaking up for myself as Life as One as Equal as What is Best for All because I understand that this must be done in order to stop the abuse of Life and to make sure that I stand as the principle of Life as what is Best for All, where I do not accept and allow any abuse of Life and where I make sure that I always do in self-honesty what is Best for All Life.

I do not accept and allow myself do doubt my self, to doubt my self-honesty and to doubt my self-direction and my will to do and stand as Life here in practicality as what is Best for All.

I do not accept and allow myself to be afraid to lose everything through which I still define myself as, because I understand that it is all fake and designed and accepted and allowed by myself to limit me as Life and to subdue me and suppress me as what I really am as Life here in oneness and equality.
I do not accept and allow myself to suppress myself with emotions and feelings of fear and by defining self as less then. I am equal to all that is Here as Life.

I do not accept and allow myself to doubt in myself ever again. I stop my fears and I breathe and I laugh and I speak up and I express in self-honesty what is Here and I take full self-responsibility and full self-direction to focus on my process of self-correction to become One and Equal as Life Here. I do whatever it takes to break, delete and destroy any mind patterns that I accepted and allowed into and as myself and through which I limit myself and subdue myself to. I promise to myself to stop the abuse of self as Life and to make sure that I walk in every breath the self-correction in self-honesty.

I promise this to myself as I stand Here in self-honesty and I am my witness and my judge and I will not accept and allow anything less from myself than total self-honesty and self-direction to correct self in every breath as long as it takes and until it is done. This is the word that I give to myself and I mark my word and I check my word in every breath to make sure that I am Living to my word, as my Word and I make and create myself as The Living Word as Life as What is Best for All in Oneness and Equality.

2010 - Christ-mess mind controll

Before this mess of Christ started I explained to my mother what I think about it and that I don't support it. Of course she still wanted me to come home for that 'special' day so that we could be 'together' as a 'family'. And of course there had to be some presents. I said to her I don't need any but I knew she will give something anyway so I said she can bring something modest and useful like something to eat (peanuts), which she did. I didn't want to participate in making a Christ mess tree either but she's all emotional about it and my father also because it's an act that 'family' does together... So I helped just for the sake of my 'special family'. And then we had a feast. I ate until I was completely full and during that I thought about all the starving children and men and all the shit in the world that we accept and allow and I felt like shit. I mean, I want to be the one that does something about it and stops all this shit and all I do is more or less just think about it. I mostly don't compromise myself when it comes to standing for all Life equally towards others, but I do that a lot when it comes to my family and/or my partners family. Now why is that? Because of money and 'security' within this system of abuse. I don't have a job yet, I don't have a place to stay yet, I drive my partners car ... which she got from her parents and she's in a similar situation as well so we have to behave 'good' toward her parents too, to have a 'secure' place within the system. I try to stay away from my family but that mostly results in me being stuck with my partners family because I don't have a place to stay on my own yet. So that's how we are completely controlled by money. In some way or another. It's absurd. I have 3000 € on my bank account which I saved by not spending all of my scholarship and I'd like to give it all to Desteni and Equal Life Foundation but I don't because I'm fucked with my fear of not being able to get a diploma = get a job = have money to live in dignity. And then some still say we have the freedom of choice to do what we want in this system. Oh, for sure! Until it's about making money and surviving we have all the freedom we can get until they put you to jail because you didn't play 'nice'. And then some of you still actually believe that you are a 'good' human being playing 'nice' not doing anything wrong while stealing money from others because you deserve it. I mean, you work so hard don't you? How about those children digging around in toxic garbage waste for some shitty metal out of which our fancy gadgets are made of, for 1€ a day? Fuck them, right? I mean, we can't do anything about it because we like it too much to sit on our royal ass and eat Christ-mess dinners and decorate trees and give each others presents and 'love' our 'special family' because we just don't know what else to do, right? Well I and many others know exactly what to do, but that's not really the problem is it? It's the human ego, the human desire to be fucking special and have it all. And people say; well, that's just how we humans are. Preprogrammed, yes! Mind-controlled, yes! Unwilling to stand up for All Life as One as Equals. If you're like that, FUCK OFF! Don't get in my way! I'm not going to be like that, because I have the courage to stand up, because I'm not spiteful towards life, because I know I am responsible for the whole world just the same as everyone else and I'm willing to change. How dishonest does one have to be to say that what I am doing is 'too extreme' or 'too utopian'? Are you kidding me? I just gave you a real fucking world example of extreme abusive shit while we live in utopia! How dishonest can you get?!

I perfectly see the absolute need for an Equal Money System because that will change everything. That's all that needs to happen. And we have to make it work and it definitely will work, when the majority sees the need for it and supports it. When that happens, everything will change in a very short time and people will get a chance to actually start living for the first time without fear and survival. Who wouldn't like that? Even extremely rich people live in fear and survival all the time! Seriously, how blind must one be to not see this simple fact? When I get a job, I'll give everything I can to the Equal Life Foundation. That's the least I can do. I mean what kind of a human being would one be not to support an Equal Money System? Surely not kind! What does one state by disregarding the Equal Money System and a solution for a Dignified Life for All? That one's evil? What else do you call that, ignorance? Well ignorance is evil! If you like the world like it is right now, you're pure evil! You're not worthy of Life at all! Die well.

I am one vote for an Equal Money System! If you're not, get out of my way!

2010 - Finally I've created my blog

Finally I've created my blog where I will share my process of birthing my-self as life. Let me write something about how I've started with all of this.

I came across Desteni about 2 years ago and I was really fascinated about everything they had to share so I started to explore the videos and everything. I had some doubt about the inter-dimensional portal being real but I focused more on the message anyways and I have to say that it made a lot of sense, especially when I got the whole picture. Now I see that all they share is common sense and practical advice on how to birth yourself as life and stand up for equality and oneness. But everything starts with self-honesty. If you are not able to look at yourself in self-honesty you have a big problem.

And that is what this blog is about. Sharing me and my process in self-honesty so that I can firstly help myself in realizing what I have accepted and allowed in me, as me, so that I can forgive myself for not supporting all life as one as equal and then re-birth my-self as life, where I will stand as one and equal with all life.