Day 105 - Judging my speaking

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to judge the words I speak, the ideas I speak, the thoughts I speak before I even spoke them and when I am speaking in front of other people.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to let go of the fear that what I speak will not be coherent, understandable, logical and sensible.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and myself to let go of the fear that I will be disliked, proven wrong or laughed at when I speak in front of others.

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to fear that my father will not agree with what I am saying and to feel inferior when he or someone does not agree with what I am saying.

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to go into fear of rejection and inferiority when someone does not agree with me.

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to judge others who I don't agree with as inferior, wrong and stupid and to judge me in the same way. I realize that being wrong or not being agreed with by others is nothing 'bad' and is not shameful because no one knows everything and all people make mistakes and have wrong perceptions. I commit myself to not accept and allow myself to fear that may be wrong and that others will not agree with me. I commit myself to not judge myself as inferior, stupid and to not go into shame and fear of rejection/ridicule when others don't agree with me or when I am proven wrong. Instead I breathe and take the opportunity to learn something new.

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to perceive the act of someone not agreeing with me as dangerous for the status of my relationship and reputation.

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to wish/want/desire to be reputable among other people and to within this worry about/fear their opinions, observations. I realize and understand that as long as I will desire to have a 'good reputation' among others, to be liked by all and to have agreeing relationships with others, so long I will be afraid of rejection and disagreement. Therefore I commit myself to no more accept and allow myself to wish/want/desire to have a 'good reputation' among others and to have agreeing relationships with others. I commit myself to no more accept and allow myself to fear that others will not agree with me.

I realize and understand that only I can stop judging and comparing myself through inferiority/superiority and that I am always equal to all as Life and so it is useless to judge myself and feel inferior if others don't agree with me.

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to feel ashamed and less than when someone doesn't agree with me or when someone says that I did not do something well enough or how it was expected. I commit myself to no more feel ashamed and inferior in such situations and I commit myself to not take them personally. Instead I move myself in the breath and take the opportunity to learn something new and make myself better.

Day 104 - The manly me I wish to be

How I want to be perceive by others as a manly man.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to wish/want/desire to be perceive by others as a manly man that is tough, strong and not fearful.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define such man as superior and feel superior when I perceive myself this way and on the other hand to feel inferior when I do not perceive me this way.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think/believe/perceive being self-honest and open with others as weak and feel inferior in such situations.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear being self-honest and open with others and to worry that others may react negatively.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself and feel inferior whenever others react negatively to my self-honesty and openness and to feel superior when other react positively to my self-honesty and openness.

Why I prevent myself from being more open and self-honest with others:

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge my past and so to judge myself through my past and what I have done in the past. I realize and understand that judging myself for the past is pointless as it only creates the feeling of inferiority within me and is actually an excuse to not be here in the breath and take responsibility for what is here in the moment. I commit myself to no more accept and allow myself to judge my past and myself through my past, instead I take self-responsibility for what is here in the breath in awareness that there in no point to judge what is here in every moment because judgments are opinions of self-interest that are used as justifications for why not to be self-directive and self-responsible in the moment to do what is best for all in common sense.

Opinion:
noun
1. a belief or judgment that rests on grounds insufficient to produce complete certainty.
2. a personal view, attitude, or appraisal.
3. the formal expression of a professional judgment: to ask for a second medical opinion.
4. Law. the formal statement by a judge or court of the reasoning and the principles of law used inreaching a decision of a case.
5. a judgment or estimate of a person or thing with respect to character, merit, etc.: to forfeit someone's good opinion.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that opinions matter. I realize and understand that opinions are not facts and so do not matter, therefore I commit myself to not accept and allow myself to create opinions and to judge myself/others according to opinions, instead I consider facts and do what is best for all based on facts.

I see, realize and understand how not considering facts the way that is best for all but self-interested opinions, creates wars and abuse of life on Earth as it can now be seen in Syria.