Day 134 - Self-responsibility towards my reactions and those of others

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to not consider my partners' reactions and to instead fear them and with this not direct the point in a way that is acceptable for all where I take full responsibility for my intentions and actions and show others that we all have to do this in order to direct and co-create this reality the way that is best for all of us. When and as I see myself fearing my partner's/another's reactions - I stop and breathe. I realize that I must take self-responsibility to stop the fear and direct the whole situation where I do everything I can to stand as an example of how to be open, transparent and direct myself and others in a way that is acceptable and supportive for all. I commit myself to no longer fear the reactions of others and to immediately apply self-forgiveness and direct myself in breathe with common sense.

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to avoid the topic of my reactions or my partner's reactions whenever I realize / see a point that needs direction. When and as I see myself avoiding the point of a reaction that came up in me or between me and my partner - I stop and breathe. I realize that if I do not direct the reaction in that moment, to firstly apply self-forgiveness for my reactions and then talk with my partner and direct the situation to a mutual understanding and agreement that supports all, then the reaction will come back the next time and be worse. Therefore I commit myself to direct every reaction within myself and between me and my partner immediately.

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to blame my partner for reactions that come up within me and between ourselves. When and as I see myself blaming my partner - I stop and breathe. I realize that I must take full responsibility for all my reactions that come up within myself the same as my partner has to and I realize that I must always stand as an example in taking self-responsibility for my reactions because this is the only way that I will be able to stop the abusive cycle of spitefulness, justifications and blame. Therefore I commit myself to not have any expectations towards my partner taking self-responsibility and helping me with this because this is only an excuse for me to not take full self-responsibility immediately and stop all reactions and abuse and direct myself in breath and common sense.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel inferior when my partner is making fun of me and about what I am doing in trying to bring me down and in this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to try and be superior towards my partner and try to blame her and find faults in her so that I would feel better and superior myself. When and as I see myself feeling inferior or trying to feel superior towards my partner - I stop and breathe. I realize that I must be humble to see in self-honesty what I am doing and to be able to talk/support myself and my partner in a way that is best for all. I commit myself to be aware of the need for humbleness and to practice humbleness whenever I talk with my partner to be a point of support for myself and my partner.

2012 - Anger, spite, blame reactions

Taking self-responsibility for my reactions when dealing with conflict situations:

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be angry and to react in spite when someone threatens me and blackmails me (with money). When and as I see myself getting angry and spiteful when someone threatens me and blackmails me (with money) – I stop and I breathe. I do not accept and allow myself to get angry and spiteful when someone threatens me and blackmails me (with money), instead I make sure that I am clear of all reactions and I direct the situation in a way that is best for all.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that I must defend myself at all costs when someone blames, reacts or is angry with me, instead of breathing and stopping all reactions until I am clear within myself before I speak. When and as I see myself believing that I must defend myself from someone's reaction of blame and anger – I stop and I breathe. I do not accept and allow myself to go into defense and to believe that I must defend my position against the attack, instead I make sure that I am clear of any reactions within myself before I speak and I direct myself in common sense and as an example of taking responsibility for self and others in a way that is best for all.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to speak in anger and spite instead of stopping myself and making sure that I am clear from any reactions before I speak. When and as I see myself being angry, spiteful, emotional before I speak – I stop and I breathe. I do not accept and allow myself to react and speak out of anger, spite or energetic emotion. Instead I breathe and I say out loud that I am in an energetic emotion and that I will not speak until I make sure that I am clear of all reactions within myself and I direct myself with breathing to stop all reactions and emotions before I speak.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be afraid to say out loud that I am in an energetic reaction and that I will not participate in energetic games and will not communicate until I make sure that I am clear from all energetic reactions and emotions. When and as I see myself fearing to say out loud that I am in an energetic reaction / emotion – I stop and I breathe. I do not accept and allow myself to compromise myself by fearing to speak out loud about my reactions / emotions. Instead I breathe and I stop and break the fear pattern by whistling and/or by snapping my fingers and I speak out loud that I am in and energetic reaction / emotion and will not speak until I make sure that I am clear of any energetic reactions/emotions/anger/spite within myself.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to react in anger and spite when someone is spiteful towards me and makes spiteful, blaming comments towards me. When and as I see myself going into a reaction, anger and spite towards someone that makes spiteful, blaming comments – I stop and I breathe. I do not accept and allow myself to react in spite and anger when someone makes spiteful comments towards me. Instead I breathe and I direct myself to make sure that I have no energetic reactions or emotions within me before I speak to direct the situation in a way that is best for all.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to blame others when they blame me. I realize that this will only make the conflict bigger and will not support anyone. When and as I see myself blaming others when they blame me - I stop, I breathe. Instead I do not blame others and I take points back to myself and I reflect them in self-honesty and commit myself to write out the points that come up.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to blame myself and take onto myself the blame of others when others blame me. I realize that other's blame is not my own and that I have to focus on my own points of blame and look self-honestly at myself where do I still blame myself. When and as I see myself blaming myself and taking onto myself the blame of others - I stop, I breathe. Instead I look at myself in self-honesty where do I still blame and judge myself and I commit myself to write out the self-blame and self-judgment until it is gone.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be angry and react with anger when others blame me. I realize that this will only make the conflict worse and will not assist anyone. When and as I see myself getting/being angry and reacting when someone blames me - I stop, I breathe. Instead I re-do my self-forgiveness statements on blame/anger/reactions and stop myself.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to act in self-interest and not always also consider others and put myself into others shoes. I realize that by doing so I accept and allow abuse to happen as I only see my self-interest and don't consider others. When and as I see myself accepting and allowing myself to act in self-interest where I do not also equally consider others - I stop, I breathe. Instead I look self-honestly at what is the origin of my self interest and I commit myself to write out and correct the point.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be afraid of angry, reactive and violent people, to fear that they will hurt me and that I am responsible for their anger, reactions and violence. I realize that I must first reflect myself in self-honesty and make sure that I do not react and fear when interacting/speaking with others because by doing so I accept and allow these reactions to exist. When and as I see myself being afraid of angry, reactive and violent people and to fear that they will hurt me and that I am responsible for their anger, reactions and violence - I stop, I breathe. Instead I realize that I must firstly stop my own fears, anger and reactions and make sure that I do not react when speaking with others and that I do not fear conflict situations.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to blame myself for wanting to end the energetic agreement/relationship with X and not live with her anymore. I realize that all energetic relationships must stop and that I made my decision in order to stop the energetic relationship X and I created between ourselves. When and as I see myself blaming myself for wanting to end the agreement/relationship with X  and don't live with her anymore - I stop, I breathe. Instead I focus on my points and I commit myself to write out in self-honesty the points that come up in my interaction with others.

2012 - Energetic reactions

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to react with energetic emotions / feelings when talking / interacting with other people and then to blame them for my self-created energetic emotional / feeling reactions. When and as I see myself reacting in emotions / feelings - I stop and I breathe. I do not accept and allow myself to talk / interact with people out of emotional / feeling reactions, I do not accept and allow myself to blame others for my emotional / feeling reactions that I have created within myself. Instead, I take self responsibility and I commit myself to stop all energetic reactions within me through breathing and only speak and interact with people when I am completely clear and stable within myself and I direct myself according with the principle of what is practically best for all in common sense where I treat another as I would like to be treated myself.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to engage and participate in energetic fights / arguments with other people where I follow energetic feeling / emotions and try to win at all costs. When and as I see myself going into / participating within an energetic fight / argument with others - I stop and I breathe. I do no accept and allow myself to go into / participate within an energetic arguments / fights with others. Instead I commit myself to expose the situation in self-honesty for what it is and I stand clear within my decision of stopping all energetic games and not participating in them.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to react with anger when someone doesn't agree with me. I do not accept and allow myself to react in anger when someone doesn't agree with me.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear other people's reactions and conflict when I talk and interact with them. I do not accept and allow myself to fear other people's reactions and conflict, instead I direct myself here in the breath.