Day 251 - Expressiveness

I have been looking at expressiveness and how experience myself often as holding back my expression. Here are the self-forgiveness points I wrote out:

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to define being expressive as positive and within this desire to be more expressive and feel negative when I see myself as not expressive enough. When and as I see myself defining being expressive as positive and desire to be more expressive and feel negative when I see myself as not expressive enough – I stop and breathe. I realize and understand that I have created an unnecessary polarity by defining the word expressive as positive. Thus I commit myself to not define the word expressive as positive anymore and to not create desire to be more expressive, instead I understand that everything is an expression and so I can rather look at where I see I am not expressing what I could because I hold myself back.

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to fear that others will react to my expression with negativity, non-acceptance, mockery, rejection, negative judgment. When and as I see myself fearing that others will react to my expression with negativity, non-acceptance, mockery, rejection, negative judgment – I stop and breathe. I realize and understand that I do not have to take such reaction personally as they are just projection/reactions of others and who they are and not me and who I am. I realize and understand that fearing negative reactions to my expression is pointless as it does not help me or protect me in any way. Thus I commit myself to not fear negative reaction to my expression from others, instead I take them simply as feedback that I can use to improve myself in relation to the goals I want to achieve.

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to fear that I will make a fool out of myself where no one will take me seriously anymore and see me as their equal. When and as I see myself fearing that I will make a fool out of myself where no one will take me seriously anymore and see me as their equal – I stop and breathe. I realize and understand that when someone wants to perceive me as a fool, that is his/hers projection of his/her own judgments that are just that and nothing more. I realize and understand that if someone does not want to see and accept me as his/her equal, no matter what I said or did, this is as well the projection of his/her own judgments and separation of superiority/inferiority that he/she has not dealt with yet and so, I am for him/her just a mirror of his/her own inner conflict. I realize that it is useless for me to wish/want from others to take me as their equal, because I cannot control others. I can only make sure that I always see myself equal to others and others equal to me as Life, no matter what they say or do. Thus I commit myself to stop fearing that I will make a fool out of myself and that others will not take me seriously and see me as their equal, instead I commit myself to never separate from others by seeing/defining/judging them as fools or by not taking them seriously or by thinking that I am more/less than them.

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to compare my expression with other’s expression to see who is more expressive. When and as I see myself comparing my expression with others – I stop and breathe. I realize that this is pointless as the only consequence of it is the idea of superiority/inferiority of one’s expression in relation to another’s. Thus I commit myself to not compare my expression with others; instead I look at how I can express myself in new ways and where I am not expressing fully because of fears.

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to become jealous of other people who I see/perceive to be more expressive and relaxed than me. When and as I see myself becoming jealous of other people who I see/perceive to be more expressive and relaxed than me – I stop and breathe. I realize and understand that being jealous is pointless as I will not help myself with it. Instead I commit myself to look at the cause of my holding back/fearing expressing what I wanted and letting go of the fears by self-forgiveness and expressing myself without fears.

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to justify my nervousness/fears around strangers by thinking that I don’t know how not to fear. When and as I see myself justifying my nervousness/fears around strangers by thinking that I don’t know how not to fear – I stop and breathe. I realize and understand that I am simply not allowing myself to be completely self-honest and accept the real reasons/causes for my fears/nervousness towards strangers for the moment, so that I can let them go with self-forgiveness. Thus I commit myself to no more accept the justification that I don’t know how to not be nervous/fear when I am around strangers, instead I make sure that I allow myself to be completely self-honest and accept the causes/reasons/sources of my fears and nervousness towards strangers for the moment and let them go with self-forgiveness.

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to take it as a confirmation that I am not/don’t know how to be expressive around strangers when I see others how they talk with strangers with no hesitation/difficulty. When and as I see myself taking it as a confirmation that I am not/don’t know how to be expressive around strangers when I see them talk to stranger without hesitation/difficulty – I stop and breathe. I realize that I will not help myself by confirming to myself that I am not expressive through judgmental comparison. Thus I commit myself to rather instead look at the source/cause of my fears/nervousness/hesitation towards speaking to a stranger and let them go with self-forgiveness.

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to sabotage myself by going into frustration and powerlessness in relation to holding myself back/fearing of expressing myself more, especially around strangers. When and as I see myself sabotaging myself by going into frustration and powerlessness in relation to holding myself back/fearing of expressing myself more, especially around strangers – I stop and breathe. I realize and understand that I will not help myself by going/staying in the experience of frustration and powerlessness. This I commit myself to not sabotage myself by going into frustration and powerlessness when I see/perceive I hold back my expression, instead I look at the cause/source of my fears and let them go with self-forgiveness.

Day 151 - The importance of not judging self when looking at self

I came to a great realizations today while watching some very practical and supportive videos on this site: http://liberationunleashed.com/videos/

I realized that I have not been allowing myself to unconditionally experience every emotion and feeling that I have within myself before stopping it / stopping to create it. Thus I have been pushing away from myself many of the emotions and feelings that came up within myself, because when they did, I immediately started to judge them as unacceptable, like "I should not have this feeling", and so I suppressed them and stayed separate from them. Therefore, I didn't really allow myself to experience myself and my emotions / feelings the way I actually have created them in order to see myself for what I really am (allowing), because only after I see and accept myself for what I really am (allowing), only then can I define and see the emotions and feelings and thoughts that I am allowing and so effectively forgive them and so decide to take self-responsibility for them and stop experiencing myself as these emotions, feelings and thoughts, because I have realized that I am only burdening myself with them. And I have seen how I am actually abusing myself with emotions and feelings, with both good and bad emotions and feelings, because I experience all emotions and feelings as energies that are actually burdening and distracting. I don't want to experience any energetic emotions or feelings. And I have seen, for example, how I am actually abusing myself by judging and blaming myself and so creating all these emotions within myself that I actually do not want to experience, instead of unconditionally accepting myself as who I am in every moment as Life.

What is also fascinating to me is that I already knew what I wrote here before, but mostly just as knowledge and information. Now I have really experienced this for myself and so what I am writing is a testament of a real, profound experience / realization that I have never experienced before with such liberating intensity.

My Declaration of Principle: 3. Living by the principle of self honesty

This is the most important principle in anyone's life, because self-honesty is a required precondition that enables one to see self as one really is and so the world as it really is. Without this principle, any meaningful change of self into an effective living being is impossible, because one is not able to see, realize and understand the real causes for ones behavior, emotions and thoughts within self and consequently, one also cannot realize the real causes for the problems that we see in the world. There is also a huge difference between honesty and self-honesty. We are honest when we speak openly to others about our thoughts, emotions and actions, about our intentions. But if we are not self-honest, then we don't really understand where are all our emotions, thoughts and intentions cumming from and why. When we are not self-honest, we don't see, realize and understand the real causes for our behavior and our state of beingness and so we also to not see, realize and understand the real causes for the state of the world and the problems that we have in this world. But what is most unacceptable is that, when we are not self-honest, we do not see, realize and understand how we ourselves have to change self in our thoughts and actions in order to solve the problems that we have in this world and stand as an effective solution that is best for all. Thus the principle of always being honest with self is always of the most importance.

I am directing myself to practice this principle of self-honesty every day in every breath. This means that I look at my thoughts, feelings and emotions and actions and get to see, realize and understand how I work, why am I the way I am and how do I have to practically change in order to become an effective human being, that stands as an example of how we humans can actually change our 'nature', the 'who we are' and decide to be, and become a force that does not allow abuse of life, but only what is best for All Life.

Through applying self-honesty, I have stopped drinking alcohol, because I realized what the actual effects of it are and why am I really drinking it. It was to run away from self and so because I knew that I can change and how to practically do it - I did it and stopped drinking alcohol, because I had no need for it anymore.

Through self-honesty I already realized many things. One of them being that I have to stand as an example of how every human can change and so how we can all together change and create a world that is Best for All. I realized that as long as there is any abuse of Life on Earth, the only meaningful and most important thing in my life or in life of any other being is to make sure to stop it, correct it and help to create a world that is best for all, because this is the only way that we can all make sure that we will never be abused and that everyone will have a dignified life that all can enjoy.

There is still very little self-honesty among people in this world and the result of it can be clearly seen everywhere in suffering and abuse of Life. This is not acceptable. We usually look at self-honesty as something frightening, because our mind doesn't want to face the facts, we often don't want to be completely responsible for ourselves, because it is so easy to go into one's mind / imagination and to let one's feelings and emotions to guide self, instead of self being self-responsible and directing oneself according to what is best for all. We see this the latter as hard and come up with tons of excuses of why we would rather not deal with self-honesty and just look away, like when we see a homeless person on the street. "Not my problem! It's his/hers own fault! Thank god I have my job!". Well, what if you were the homeless person or the one that is abuse? The one who no-one wants to help? In self-honesty, we put ourselves into the shoes of others and we treat others the same way we would like to be treated if we were in their place. Such behavior is not hard. It is much harder to look away and feel bad about it then to simply take self-responsibility to work on solutions that are best for all. Then one doesn't have to feel bad about anything anymore, because one is self-honest.

But we cannot just become self-honest in one moment and from that moment on do everything right and according to what is best for all, because it is a process of getting to know oneself in self-honesty through writing and observing self and then realizing how self must change. Then we can actually practice this change and in the end we actually become the change that we realized is best for all. This is why I am writing this blog and using the tools of self-forgiveness and others. This blog is a statement of my personal process and change that I am going through by applying self-honesty. I invite you to join me and many others in walking the process of self-honesty and self-change. Because after all, this IS what is BEST for ALL and what we all have to do in order to stop living in misery.

Follow this link to see the full list of principles I am committing myself to live by.

The Desteni of Living - My Declaration of Principle

Here I post the principles I am committing to live by as an individual, but also together with others. In order to create a world that is Best for All Life and where a Dignified Life for All is guaranteed, we as people have to start living by the principles, through which we will accept only actions that are supportive for All Life. Everyone has to realize for oneself that such principled living is necessary in order to stop all the abuse of Life and stand as an example of what is Best for All Life. I have to be the living example and this is my goal, therefore I will be taking every principle / point from this list and give practical examples of how I am living every individual principle and how I have changed within it and how I am also consequently changing the world. I will be updating this blog and posting a link beside each point / principle to the blog where I will be exploring and explaining the principle / point in detail.

1. Realizing and living my utmost potential.

2. Living by the principle of what is best for all – guiding me in thought, word and deed to always in all ways direct problems to the best possible outcome for all.

3. Living by the principle of self honesty – to ensure I am pure in thought, word and deed: that my within and without is equal and one. Who I am within is who I am without and vice-versa.

4. Self Purification through Writing, Self Forgiveness and Self Application – the action of realizing I am responsible for my own thoughts, words and deeds, to forgive myself for transgressions and change myself to ensure I take responsibility for who, what and how I am and through this know that I can trust myself to always be honest with me and so others.

5. Living the principle of Self Responsibility – realizing only I am responsible for what I accept and allow inside of me, my relationships and my outside world and so with this responsibility: only I have the power and ability to change that which I see is compromising who I am, what I live and how this affects others.

6. Realizing that who I am in thought, word and deed affects not only myself – but others as well and so with Self Responsibility in thought, word and deed – I take responsibility for myself and so my relationships to be Self Aware in every moment and live in such a way that is best for me and so others as well.

7. Living the Principle of Self Awareness – to be aware, to see, to recognize my own thoughts and Mind, to be self honest to the extent where I can take responsibility for when I see my thoughts / Mind is not what is best for me / others and commit to immediately take responsibility and change for myself and so for others.

8. With taking responsibility for myself, becoming aware of myself – take responsibility and become aware of others in my life, to assist and support them as I am assisting and supporting myself – to give as you would like to receive and do the extra bit every day to see where I can contribute to other’s lives and so my own.

9. Living the principle of self trust – as I commit myself to remain constant in my living of self honesty, self responsibility and self awareness, I stand as an unbending trust that I always in all ways know who I am no matter what I face and that in this I know, as proven in the constancy of my living that I will always honour and stand by what is best for all and so best for me.

10. Making Love Visible – through me not accepting/allowing anything less than my utmost potential, I support those in my life to reach their utmost potential, to love them as I have shown love to myself by gifting to me my utmost potential, the best life/living experience and show others as I have shown myself what it means to LIVE.

11. No one can save you, save yourself – the realization that the tools and principles of Desteni is the guide, but I must walk the path myself. We are here to assist and support each other in this process from Consciousness to Awareness/LIFE and what it means to live – but the process itself, where you are alone with yourself in your own Mind: is walked alone.

12. Not waiting for anything or anyone to take responsibility for me and this world – but that I realize I have created who and how I am in this moment, therefore I have the responsibility to change who and how I am and so the realization that we as a collective created how and what this world is today and so it is the responsibility of the collective to change how and what this world is today.

13. Honouring the life in each person, animal – everything from the great to the small of earth, that we expand our awareness and responsibility to creating the best possible life for everyone and everything and so ourselves.

14. Relationships as Agreements: individuals coming together using agreements as a platform to one-on-one expand, grow and develop as individuals in life and living to support/assist each other unconditionally to reach their utmost potential where the agreement is a coming together of individuals understanding what it means to stand as equals and to stand as one.

15. Sex as Self Expression – where sex is an united expression between individuals in honour, respect, consideration and regard of each other as equals, two physical bodies uniting in equality and oneness – a merging of two equals as one physically.

16. Realising that by the virtue of me being in this world – my responsibility does not only extend to my own Mind / my own Life, but to the minds and lives of everything and everyone of this earth and so my commitment is to extend this awareness to all of humanity to work together and live together to make this world heaven on earth for ourselves and the generations to come

17. I must in my thoughts, words and deeds – but most importantly in my living actions, become a living example for others in my world that is noticeable and visible when it comes to the potential of a person to change themselves and so change their world. So that more people can realise how we can change this world, by standing united in our self change within the principle of what is best for all to bring heaven to earth.

18. I am the change I want to see in me and my world – to bring heaven to earth is to bring into being, into living the LIVING PROOF of a PRACTICAL HEAVEN that can be seen and heard in our actions and words. We are the Living Heaven that must come into creation in this living world.

19. Through purifying my thoughts, words and deeds – my inner becomes my outer, so I bring into creation me as heaven into earth, realising it is not enough to ‘see the change / be the change’ – for change to become REAL it must be a constant, consistent living of me through the words I speak and the actions I live visible and noticeable to all in every moment of breath.

20. Realising that my physical body is my temple – my physical body is the living flesh through which and in which I will bring into being and create / manifest heaven on earth as me in my thoughts, words and deeds and so I honour, respect and regard – nurture and support my physical body as I would nurture and support me as equals: my body is me.

21. We are the change in ourselves and this world we have been waiting for: and so I commit to dedicate myself and my life for each one as all to realize this, as nothing will change if we don’t change in all that we are, within and without.

22. The realisation that for me to be able to change myself in thought, word and deed to the most effective living being that I can be and become – I first have to ‘know thyself’ and so commit myself to investigate, introspect and understand how I became who I am today, to prepare the road before me into self creation of a responsible, aware, self honest and trustworthy person for myself and so for all.

23. The realisation that for me to be able to contribute to change in this world – I have to get to ‘know thyself’ as this world and so commit myself to research, investigate and introspect the inner and outer workings of this world and align the systems of today to present and give the best possible life for all on Earth.

2011 - Nationalism and Separation = Crime Against Life

People tend to identify themselves through the language they speak which leads to nationalism and separation. This is all self deception because nationalism is an idea that people hold on to inside their thoughts/mind. It is an idea that people are supposedly "separated"/"divided" through the language they speak. Obviously people don't understand each other if they speak a different language but that only means that they make different sounds for the same things and nothing else. Why would we hate and separate each other just because of that? It is the same thing as wearing different color clothes. Why would one fear, oppose or hate someone else who wears different color/type of clothes when the only point of it is to stay warm? Practicality people! It is stupid to promote different languages and "nationalities" while all we want to practically do is to understand each other. Thus it is best for all to learn a common language like English to be able to communicate with each other. Whether one knows more languages, that's just fine. But look at what happens when people identify themselves through egoistic nationalism, they go mad and hate each other and kill each other. Why do we allow this?! It is pure stupidity. Everything based on separation such as nationalism should be recognized as a crime against Life, not just humanity, as the consequences of separation are only hate, greed, egoism and all other sorts of abuse.

Then we have culture separation, skin color separation, gender separation .....etc......etc......etc.....
We have to realize that every separation comes from our thoughts/mind and is not actually real. We are all the same, even if we look differently or whatever. We're all Life, so why don't we just stop fucking ourselves with all our mind-created, imaginary self-definitions?
And the biggest separation today is created through capitalism as every one thinks that their ego is worth more than anyone else's ego because of this and that and this and that.... so then we go and try to steal from each other as hard as possible by making laws of capitalism that support it because the ego of man is incapable of common sense. What the fuck? Why don't we just get rid of ego crap and do what is Best for All Life because guess what? What's best for All Life is Best for YOU. Wow.

"I was born in a bloodline I deserve to be a king!" ... "Yes, my lord, oh how unworthy we are, your ego bullshit is so great!" ... "Yes, now be my peasants, you don't deserve equality!" ... "Yes, thank you your royal grace, we need you to enslave us with your super ego!" What the fuck?

"My parents were rich and I got their money so now I'll buy your corporation and be your master!" ... "Yes, we agree, you have all the credentials and money numbers on paper, we shall accept you as our leader and support your ego by allowing you to take billions of dollars from us because your ego is so amazingly skilled and almighty and we are ashamed of ourselves in your presence." ... "Very good, your brainwash is complete, you don't deserve equality because I want to be rich and I want you to be poor" ... "Yes this is completely acceptable, you speak such smart words, we are grateful." What the fuck?

Self-honesty, self-correction, supporting what is Best for All Life = join Desteni, stop ego bullshit. Because we're seriously not interested in watching anyone suffer while we know the answer that's Best for All. What's that, you do want to suffer? Haven't joined us yet? Haven't started to do self-forgiveness and self-correction yet? Wow, aren't you a smart one, your ego is truly your master that makes you suffer and obviously you don't want to take self-responsibility yet. That's just fine, we'll be able to use you as a clear example of what stupidity and self-deception is for the time being.

2011 - Consumerism is a mental disease and we all have it

When we observe ourselves self-honestly we can see that we are addicted to consumerism. Every now and then (which is usually very often) we get the urge to buy ourselves something new, just to feel good. It starts with thinking about what we like and would like to have and then we build the excitement through our thoughts about a product. In the end we allow ourselves to get consumed by this energy mind possession until we just go and buy it because then we feel good and it's exciting to use the new product, for a while. Then we start at the beginning. We allow ourselves to get brainwashed with our own desires and wants that are actually not real because we make them up in our head as we separate ourselves from the point that we want to get when we buy a product. For example when we want to buy a new piece of cloths because we think we'll look good in it - we just separated ourselves from 'beauty' because we define ourselves as not good enough and ugly and we put the value and definition of beauty into a piece of clothes. We then mind-fuck ourselves into thinking that we will only achieve beauty - that is not real, just a definition in our head that we made up ourselves - if we buy and wear the piece of clothes that apparently makes us beautiful or sexy or what ever. And we become a complete system robot! We do this all the time with everything. And in this we don't consider anything else but our ego personality, our desires and wants and we do all kinds of nasty things, just to get what we want, which is basically money. It's time to stop because otherwise our ego will make us all suffer really bad until we realize there's just no other way but to stop with all the abuse of ourselves and each other. I am not going to wait to be stopped by reality. I know how to stop myself and you can too if you dare to be self-honest. Join the Desteni'I'Process, lets change ourselves and stand together by supporting each other in stopping all the abuse of Life. Lets start doing what is Best for All Life so that All can Live in Dignity. We as Destonians will not stop until this is done, until we all live as One as Equals. And don't fool yourself with the idea that we need all human beings to agree with this because we as human beings are such a small part of existence that we can actually be very happy and grateful to even still be here, taking into consideration how we still continue to abuse all and everything and each other just because of our huge egos, self accepted and allowed mind delusions, that we are apparently almighty and can so ignore everything we don't care about or just too sinful to correct ourselves into beings that always do what is Best for All. We have a lot to learn to correct all the bullshit we have accepted and allowed on this World throughout our existence. Better start learning and correcting ourselves now because there is no escape from it, not even death. Obviously the question at hand is always this: who does really care? Do human beings care about Life? Or do we only care about our ego mind-fucks, thinking only about what will we buy next time in order to get an energy boost of delusional happiness or sex or what ever thing that we are addicted to, but don't want to face and be self honest about. Do you really care about Life? Or are you a complete system robot, that just executes the self accepted and allowed mind programs every day until you will die and rot away forever?

 

Through the DIP one will learn how to remove one's accepted and allowed mind programming = ego. Only when this is done, one will be able to actually start living as One as Equal in a way that is Best for All, meaning not harming or abusing Life. But how can one explain this to a system robot? Some human beings have a really hard time realizing this, let alone doing something about it.

I chose self-honesty, I chose Life and what is Best for All. And I can stand by my principle always. This is the difference between Life and a self-destructive, ego-driven, life-abusing system robot.

I am one vote for an Equal Money System!

2011 - Elections - Is it pointless to vote?

I was thinking about elections and voting since we have a lot of referendums in Slovenia right now. Should I vote? Does it change anything? I came to a simple conclusion which I explain in the video.