Thursday, September 13, 2012

Day 35 - Self-Intimacy, fear of a relative dying


I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to be completely intimate with myself.

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to be vulnerable with myself.

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to completely expose myself to myself in self-honesty and without judgments.

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to look deep into myself without judgments, to get to know who I have accepted and allowed myself to become so that I can correct myself and realign myself with Life and what is best for all in all ways.

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to realize that I do this for me and no one else as only I can change me and realign me what is best for all and be Life here, one and equal.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to create and give into a resistance to face myself and write myself out. When and as I see myself resist facing myself and writing myself out - I stop and I breathe. I realize that the feeling/resistance I created for myself is a pattern and a self-defence mechanism of the mind where I am avoiding facing myself and taking self-responsibility to direct, change and realign myself with what is best for all. I commit myself to stop/transcend the resistance and face myself in self-honesty, self-intimacy and self-vulnerability and write myself out to see the patterns and re-align myself with what is best for all Life.

I commit myself to walk my process for me first to first get to know me and change/realign me according to what is best for all Life.

I commit myself to be completely self-honest and self-intimate with myself and to allow myself to be vulnerable to myself in order to see/explore all of me and what I have accepted and allowed myself to become and so change/correct and realign me according to what is best for all Life.



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to go into fear of death when I see X.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear the death of one of my relatives.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear facing the consequences/situation of one of my relatives dying. When and as I see myself fearing the consequence/situation of one of my relatives dying - I stop and breathe. I realize that I create this fear myself through the backchat of the mind where I fear losing that which I never had and so I stop. I commit myself to stop all fear of death and other people/relatives dying and be here in the breath.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear having to show sadness and cry when one of my relative dies so that others wouldn't judge me as careless/heartless/inconsiderate.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear being accused of/judged as/blamed for being heartless/heartless/inconsiderate.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to judge me as being careless/heartless/inconsiderate if I don't cry/am sad when one of my relatives die.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to think/believe/perceive that a person that does not cry and is not sad when someone dies is heartless/careless and inconsiderate.

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to realize that crying/sadness has nothing to do with caring and being considerate as these emotions are just a momentary release of an energy build up.



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear seeing my mother and father crying and being sad.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear having to comfort/support my mother and father or someone else when they are crying and being sad.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to freeze and go into fear when I see my parents/someone crying or being sad.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to think/believe/perceive that I don't know what to do and how to comfort someone when one is crying/sad.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to judge/define hugging my mother and father as awkward.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to feel awkward/embarrassed/ashamed when I hug my mother or father or someone else.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to think/believe/perceive that hugging one's mother or father is strange/awkward/embarrassing and a sign of being weak/childish.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to think/believe/perceive that I am weak/'gay'/childish if I hug my father or my mother.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to judge myself as weak/childish/dependant if I hug my mother or father.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to judge/define hugging one's parents as a sign of being weak/childish/dependant.

Wednesday, September 5, 2012

Day 34 - Fear of bugs

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear and be afraid of bugs.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear that bugs will hurt me and make me sick/infected.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define bugs as ugly/gross/scary/disgusting and horrifying.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to think/believe/perceive/define hairy bugs as gross/disgusting/ugly.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to think/believe/perceive that dead bugs are gross and disgusting.

Spiders:

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear spiders.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear that a spider would bite me.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be afraid of spider's venom.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define/see/perceive spider's as ugly/disgusting/horrifying.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define/see/perceive spider's mouth, eyes, legs and hairs as ugly/disgusting/horrifying.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to think/believe/perceive/define multiple spider eyes as scary/ugly and disgusting.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to connect the picture/shape of a spider with ugliness/disgustingness/horror. lol

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear that a spider will jump on me and hurt me. lol

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear that a spider will crawl into my mouth, nose or other body openings.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear that I will accidentally get a spider into my mouth
and eat it.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be afraid to touch a spider and have it on my skin/body.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to think/believe/perceive that spiders are aggressive and will bite me and hurt me.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to imagine spider biting me when I have it on my skin/body.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to think/believe/perceive that spiders are dirty/infected and that I will get dirty/infected as well if I touch them and in this I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to think/believe that I have to clean myself if a spider was touching my skin.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to think/believe/perceive that dead spider are gross and disgusting.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to go into an urge to get a spider off of me as quickly as possible when I see him on my skin/body. When and as I see myself going into a fear reaction when I see a spider on my skin/body - I stop and breathe. I realize I am perpetuating an irrational fear reaction and so I stop. I commit myself to stop all reactions to spiders and not react when I see a spider on my skin/body.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to react with fear and disgust when I have a spider on my skin/body. when and as I see myself reacting with fear/disgust when I have a spider on my skin/body - I stop and breathe. I realize that I am creating all these fears/judgments about spiders myself for no reason but to be enslaved/limited to my own energy experience of the mind and so I stop. I commit myself to stop all fears/judgments/reactions to spiders and be here in the breath and one and equal with them.

Grasshoppers:

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear and be afraid of grasshoppers.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear that a grasshopper will bite me and hurt me.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define/see/perceive a grasshoppers eyes, mouth, head, legs and body as gross/disgusting/ugly and terrifying.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to imagine a grasshopper biting me when I see one.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to go into an urge to get a grasshopper off of me as quickly as possible when I see him on my skin/body. When and as I see myself going into a fear reaction when I see a grasshopper on my skin/body - I stop and breathe. I realize I am perpetuating an irrational fear reaction and so I stop. I commit myself to stop all reactions to grasshoppers and not react when I see a grasshopper on my skin/body.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to react with fear and disgust when I have a grasshopper on my skin/body. when and as I see myself reacting with fear/disgust when I have a grasshopper on my skin/body - I stop and breathe. I realize that I am creating all these fears/judgments about grasshoppers myself for no reason but to be enslaved/limited to my own energy experience of the mind and so I stop. I commit myself to stop all fears/judgments/reactions to grasshoppers and be here in the breath and one and equal with them.

Monday, September 3, 2012

Day 33 - Meeting the familiar people & Whispering

Usually when I encounter someone I know from somewhere I react with fear of starting a conversation with them as I realize that I don't remember their name which I see as embarrassing. So I look away and avoid contact.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to go into an irrational fear when I see someone familiar whose name I don't remember. When and as I see myself going into an irrational fear when seeing someone familiar - I stop and I breathe. I realize that I fear my own fear and react to it. I commit myself to stop the fear of meeting familiar people whose names I don't know or any other people.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be embarrassed when I don't know/forgot someone's name. I realize that being embarrassed is completely unnecessary as it will not solve/change anything. I commit myself to stop all embarrassment/fear in front of other people and simply be here in the breath.

I commit myself to when I see someone familiar and don't know his name, to no go into fear and look away and avoid contact, but instead say hello and stop all fears/self judgments/embarrassment.



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to go into irritation whenever I hear someone whispering/mumbling/talking quietly.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to think/believe/perceive that whispering/mumbling/talking quietly is rude/inappropriate and disrespectful.

I commit myself to stop irritations/reactions and all definitions about whispering/mumbling/talking quietly.

Saturday, September 1, 2012

Day 32 - Sexual Attraction to Pictures

Flat stomachs

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to exist within and as arousal and sexual excitement whenever I see a flat woman's stomach. When and as I see myself going into arousal and sexual excitement when I see a flat woman's stomach – I stop and breathe. I realize that I myself have defined the picture of a flat woman's stomach as sexual and arousing and so I myself am the one who is still accepting and allowing in that moment to get/be aroused and sexually excited, by having the picture of a flat woman's stomach as a trigger point. I commit myself to stop the addiction to sexual energetic excitement through picture stimulation such as the flat woman's stomach.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to use the picture of a flat woman's stomach as an excuse and justification as why I am excited. When and as I see myself using/existing within and as the excuse of 'it is the picture of a flat woman's stomach that got me excited' – I stop and breathe. I realize that I am the one who is still accepting and allowing myself to become/be excited through the excuse/justification that it is a picture of a flat woman's stomach who got me excited. I commit myself to not user external points as an excuse of why I am excited/sexually aroused and why I am the way I am and to direct myself here in the breath to stop energetic addictions through perceived pictures such as a flat woman's stomach.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to exist within and as the desire to touch a flat woman's stomach and get the experience of hitting a jackpot in the way where I would get what I always imagined/wanted/desired through thoughts in my mind. When and as I see myself existing within and as the desire to touch a flat woman's stomach – I stop and breathe. I realize that I exist within this desire as I have given this act of being able to touch a flat woman's stomach a higher value within my mind as a pattern through which I would/could experience the highest possible energetic sexual arousal and orgasm. I commit myself to stop searching/chasing the sexual energetic high/orgasm and stop the pattern of sexual addiction to energy and energetic arousal through pictures/imagination/thoughts and instead create a new pattern where I remain here in the breath and focus on the physical touch without any pictures/thoughts/wishes/desires.

Women figures

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to look and search for 'perfect' women figures whenever I am around women. When and as I see myself looking/searching for 'perfect' women figures – I stop and breathe. I realize that I am through this still accepting and allowing myself to exist within and as the pattern of addiction to sexual energy arousal through pictures. I commit myself to stop looking/searching for ‘perfect’ pictures of women figures by being self-directive in the moment and not intentionally turning my head/eyes towards such pictures but remaining here in the breath, not accepting and allowing myself to be directed by such energies/desires.