Day 153 - My Declaration of Principle: 7. Living the Principle of Self Awareness

Previous blog is in Slovene.

The seventh principle I am committing myself to live by is the Principle of Self Awareness – to be aware, to see, to recognize my own thoughts and Mind, to be self honest to the extent where I can take responsibility for when I see my thoughts / Mind is not what is best for me / others and commit to immediately take responsibility and change for myself and so for others.

In practice this means that I practice to focus my awareness on breathing - I am aware of me breathing - and then I look inside of myself to see in self-honesty, what thoughts are coming up in my mind and what feelings/emotions I am experiencing. This way I can take self-responsibility for the thoughts, feelings and emotions and stop them, therefore stop my automated train of thought, mind patterns and reactions through applying self-forgiveness and self-aware breathing. I am practicing this continuously, so that I can effectively direct myself by principle, instead of letting automated thoughts, feelings, emotions and habits to direct me. The important part of the self-corrective process is also writing. Therefore I write out the patterns and reactions, that I observe within myself throughout the day, to get to know them, how I have created them and to then write out a practical correction for me to follow instead of the old pattern, according to the principle of what is Best for All.

It may be strange to read that Self Awareness is something that we lack, because one might think that being awake in itself means that one is Self Aware. But that is far from reality. We are mostly not aware of a lot of things that we are creating and experiencing within ourselves all the time - thoughts, feelings, emotions. This is because we learned not to question our thoughts, feelings and emotions and so we take them for granted, we believe that thoughts, feelings and emotions is what we actually, really are. But this is not so. We are creating all our thoughts, feelings and emotions. And since we do it so quickly and so automatically, we are not even aware anymore of the exact process of how we are creating them. And so we become and automated being because we react to our own thoughts, feeling and emotions as if it is not us who are creating them. Really strange and fascinating to realize how we have separated from ourselves and our own self-responsibility, our own power to direct ourselves and be who we decide to be. We cannot make effective decision of who we want to be and what principle we want to live by if we believe that we are not creating our own thoughts, feelings and emotions and if we are not really even aware of them. This is why it is of the most importance for all of us to start practicing Self Awareness through Self Honesty and self aware breathing. This is the only way that we can effectively look at our thoughts, feelings and emotions that we are creating and experiencing, so that we can then write them out, really get to know them and see how we have created the mind patterns and only then can we effectively change who we have believed and conditioned ourselves to be in the lack of Self Awareness.

I suggest to all who want to start with this process in a structured and simple way, to try out the free online course, where you will also have a buddy available, who will help you to understand how to apply the tools for self support effectively: The Desteni'I'Process Lite.

Follow this link to see the full list of principles I am committing myself to live by.

Day 151 - The importance of not judging self when looking at self

I came to a great realizations today while watching some very practical and supportive videos on this site: http://liberationunleashed.com/videos/

I realized that I have not been allowing myself to unconditionally experience every emotion and feeling that I have within myself before stopping it / stopping to create it. Thus I have been pushing away from myself many of the emotions and feelings that came up within myself, because when they did, I immediately started to judge them as unacceptable, like "I should not have this feeling", and so I suppressed them and stayed separate from them. Therefore, I didn't really allow myself to experience myself and my emotions / feelings the way I actually have created them in order to see myself for what I really am (allowing), because only after I see and accept myself for what I really am (allowing), only then can I define and see the emotions and feelings and thoughts that I am allowing and so effectively forgive them and so decide to take self-responsibility for them and stop experiencing myself as these emotions, feelings and thoughts, because I have realized that I am only burdening myself with them. And I have seen how I am actually abusing myself with emotions and feelings, with both good and bad emotions and feelings, because I experience all emotions and feelings as energies that are actually burdening and distracting. I don't want to experience any energetic emotions or feelings. And I have seen, for example, how I am actually abusing myself by judging and blaming myself and so creating all these emotions within myself that I actually do not want to experience, instead of unconditionally accepting myself as who I am in every moment as Life.

What is also fascinating to me is that I already knew what I wrote here before, but mostly just as knowledge and information. Now I have really experienced this for myself and so what I am writing is a testament of a real, profound experience / realization that I have never experienced before with such liberating intensity.

Day 16 - Worrying about my partner and fear of loss

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to worry and think about how my partner feels when I am not with her, where I imagine my partner being sad and so creating the sadness within myself where I feel sorry for my partner, instead of simply stopping myself and being here in the breath. I realize that with this I compromise myself. When and as I see myself accepting and allowing myself to worry and think about how my partner feels when I am not with her, where I imagine my partner being sad and so creating the sadness within myself - I stop and I breathe. Instead I stay here in the breath and do not go into imagination and emotions but stabilize myself here in the physical through breath.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to go into a desire to call my partner to see how she is because I wish/want/desire to make her happy and within this I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to condition my happiness with the happiness of my partner, instead of realizing that I am myself responsible for how I feel and that happiness is an energetic feeling that is the opposite polarity of sadness where if I do not stop participating in this energy, I will constantly exist/abuse myself within the happiness/sadness polarity, instead of being simply here within the breath in the physical. When and as I see myself conditioning my feelings with the feelings of my partner and going into a desire to call my partner to see how she is because I wish/want/desire to make her happy - I stop and I breathe. Instead I bring myself back here into the physical and do not accept and allow myself to be moved by energetic feelings/emotion/desires but instead apply common sense and what is best for all.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to judge/define myself as the cause of another's/my partner's feelings/emotions and to feel guilty. I realize that each one is self-responsible to stop one's own emotions and feelings. When and as I see myself accepting and allowing myself to judge/define myself as the cause of another's/my partner's feelings/emotions and to feel guilty - I stop and I breathe. Instead I bring myself here and breathe and use self-forgiveness and self-corrective application to stop all self-judgment and direct myself within common sense and what is practically best for all.

I commit myself to no more accept and allow myself to subdue myself to fear and act out of fear of loosing the relationship with my partner/another that was an illusion in my mind anyway and I commit myself to stick to what is common sense and practically best for all.

I commit myself to investigate and remove all my attachments and fears towards my partner/others and take complete self-responsibility for myself so that I can stand within practical common sense and what is best for all and actually create practical agreements that are based on what is practically best for all and not on fear and self-limitation.

I commit myself to not hold myself inside the stupidity loops of fear and self-limitation but expand myself through self-forgiveness and self-correction whenever I see myself limiting myself with fears/emotions/feelings/beliefs.

I commit myself to stand as an example that relationships based on fear and self-limitation are just an illusion of the mind that we can remove with self-forgiveness and self-correction and replace them with actual supportive agreements that are based on common sense and what is practically best for all.

2012 - Energetic reactions

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to react with energetic emotions / feelings when talking / interacting with other people and then to blame them for my self-created energetic emotional / feeling reactions. When and as I see myself reacting in emotions / feelings - I stop and I breathe. I do not accept and allow myself to talk / interact with people out of emotional / feeling reactions, I do not accept and allow myself to blame others for my emotional / feeling reactions that I have created within myself. Instead, I take self responsibility and I commit myself to stop all energetic reactions within me through breathing and only speak and interact with people when I am completely clear and stable within myself and I direct myself according with the principle of what is practically best for all in common sense where I treat another as I would like to be treated myself.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to engage and participate in energetic fights / arguments with other people where I follow energetic feeling / emotions and try to win at all costs. When and as I see myself going into / participating within an energetic fight / argument with others - I stop and I breathe. I do no accept and allow myself to go into / participate within an energetic arguments / fights with others. Instead I commit myself to expose the situation in self-honesty for what it is and I stand clear within my decision of stopping all energetic games and not participating in them.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to react with anger when someone doesn't agree with me. I do not accept and allow myself to react in anger when someone doesn't agree with me.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear other people's reactions and conflict when I talk and interact with them. I do not accept and allow myself to fear other people's reactions and conflict, instead I direct myself here in the breath.

2012 - Song lyrics

When I hear a song that talks about relationship/love/feelings/emotions I start to listen to the lyrics and allow myself to imagine the relationship/emotional situations when then I go into desire of such relationships/emotions of love etc.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to focus on the lyrics of emotional/relationship/love songs and to start to imagine myself in such situations and to desire them and believe that I need them in order to be happy. When and as I see myself focusing my attention on such lyrics - I stop, I breathe. I realize that by this I am allowing myself to use such lyrics to become emotional and to desire situations that exist only in my mind and so I get depressed and sad through believing that this is what I need to be happy, instead of realizing that such emotions/happiness is all the illusion of the mind and is never real and always works in polarities where if I am happy in one moment I will have to be sad and depressed in another. This stops here. I do not accept and allow myself to focus on the lyrics and to use them to generate ideas/desires and emotions/feelings, instead I stay here in the breath.

2011 - Black Swan the movie

I watched this movie titled Black Swan that got nominated for the Oscar thing. It's about a ballerina who wants to have a lead role in a play. (Spoiler alert) Then she finally gets it and starts to train for the dance. She wants to be perfect and the best and then she starts to fear her competition and that one of her dance colleges will take her role. Her mother also suppresses her with being strict about everything and she starts to loose touch with reality because of all the feelings, emotions, fears and stuff going through her mind. At the day of the dance she really looses it and during a break she stabs herself thinking she stabbed her dance college because she thinks she wants to steal her role. But then she returns to the stage and in the end finishes the dance with enacted suicide of the swan, while still bleeding from the stab. And in the end she says something like "That was perfect."

Was it? Lets get real; Not even close.

So this movie can be quite a support for the viewer if one looks at it from the common sense perspective because it clearly shows how seriously fucked up we as people can and actually do get when we accept and allow ourselves to get possessed by thoughts, feelings and emotions. In this case the girl playing the Swan didn't take responsibility for her thoughts, feelings and emotions and so didn't sort out the practical, real life problems that she faced. Like her mom trying to control her all the time. Or the injuries that she got because of too much physical body stress from trying to be perfect at dancing. Or her fears that came up in her. So the problems just continued to accumulate. And all she did was that she focused only on her original mind-fuck desire of wanting to be perfect and famous as a ballet dancer. Achieving that one special moment when everyone will tell her how perfect she is and she will be in the center of attention. So this mind-fuck possession that she accepted and allowed to possess her completely, derived from a point in the past when she defined herself as 'less than' and 'not good enough'. Thus wanting to continuously balance out the polarity by at least once being 'the best' and 'famous'. Because of this she got completely schizophrenic, not distinguishing between what is reality as what is physically here and her own mind fantasy. And all she did was hurt herself and others because she existed completely and only as ego, completely separated from reality and common sense. In real life, people like that are put in a mental institution.

So if we look at ourselves and what we accept and allow to exist in ourselves as thoughts, feelings and emotions every day, we see that we do exactly the same things. The movie just presented a possible example of what happens if one continues to accept and allow oneself to get more and more possessed by thoughts, feelings and emotions. In short: one gets crazy.

The movie got graded quite high and I'd say mostly not because of the points I talked about. I can see how people look at the movie and say: "Oh, you can do everything if you wish it strong enough." And get crazy in the process, only looking at your self interest, no matter what? And others saying: "It is beautiful how she managed to transform her inner turmoil and pain into something so real and beautiful as a ballet dace." Which is a statement of complete self-deception because it only focuses on the point of a dance that seems 'positive' and 'beautiful' and is staged anyway and disregards the reality, which is pain, self-abuse, egoism and schizophrenia, a girl almost killing herself trying to balance out her accepted and allowed mind-fuck illusions in the head of 'wanting to be famous' and feeling as 'less than'. This is not beautiful in any way. It is a complete abuse of life in every way.

And the point of it all is that we have to start realizing that each one of us is responsible for what one accepts and allows in oneself as thoughts, feelings and emotions and that in essence these are the things we have to take complete responsibility for and there will be no better time for this than now, when we know how to effectively deal with them and how to solve all our problems with simple self-forgiveness, self-honesty and self-corrective application. That is real life, being responsible for oneself to do what is best for all and use common sense to never again accept and allow in oneself or others to abuse life as who we are.

That's also why we propose and work on the Equal Money System that will transform the current capitalistic system of abuse in a system of support, where no one will ever have to abuse self or others just to get some money for survival. We still have lots to do but that is not a problem because we know exactly what needs to be done and how to do it, just by simply putting a simple equality equation into practice. Join us and you will see how simple and worthwhile Life can really be if one is self-honest and works in a group as en equal, to bring about what is Best for All.

One Life, One Vote for World Equality and an Equal Money System.

http://equalmoney.org
http://www.desteni.co.za

2010 - Equal Money System

The Equal Money System is a support system that derives from a single principle, that is also a fact, that we are all as one as equal as Life. That implies that if we do not treat each other equally in all ways, we live in a delusion. How hard is that to realize? Now take a good and thorough look at what exactly it is in your mind that prevents you, personally, to admit such a fact? Is it your ego? Would you like to be more than others? Or do you feel less than others and accept that as your reality? Do you self-honestly accept inequality as your limitation, as what you stand for and believe in? Why would you oppose a system where each individual is treated equally in oneness as Life? I mean if you do, than that states that you are obviously not equal to Life, because all Life is the same. All Life is equal to Life. Value of Life is Life. Is it that you would rather be something special = more than Life, or would you rather be something limited = less than Life? In both cases you can easily forgive yourself for such thoughts of delusion and spiritual diarrhea and take self-responsibility as Life. Or is it FEAR that controls you? What do you fear? Do you fear your-self? Everything is about self. Do you fear of losing your self? Or do you fear losing your advantaged position of power, luxury, fame and sex? If you fear of losing yourself you live in a delusion. Explore Desteni and you will be assisted in realizing why one can never lose self. But if you fear losing your privileged position - you have a problem. Again, self-forgiveness, self-responsibility. You can only fear losing something that was never really yours, but you made it yours and yours only. You lied, manipulated, cheated and not shared, to make it yours. And exactly because of your spitefulness towards others, not willing to consider everyone as one as equal as you as Life, you will lose everything. It is inevitable. Delusions never last. That's why they are delusions. Only what is real stands the test of time. Are you real?

No one can define you in any way what so ever. You and you alone are responsible for every thought, fear, emotion, feeling and action that you do and experience. What is your principle? Who are you? Are you Life? Or do you hate Life? Do you define yourself as 'less that'? Explore Desteni and you will be assisted into self-responsibility and equality as Life. Do you want to be 'more than' and abuse? Explore Desteni and you will be assisted into self-responsibility and equality as Life. Don't want to? Then state that clearly so that we don't waste our time with you. But even if you don't care, you decide in each and every moment who you are. Every day is your judgment day. More we wait, more fucked up we get. I have decided. At death it is too late. Ignorance, waiting and not acting also states who you are = unwilling to take self-responsibility to stand as one and equal as Life and do what is best for all Life. I will die well, how will you die?