Sunday, October 13, 2013

Day 106 - Anxiety around new people and self-sabotage at school work

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to relax and be comfortable around new people I meet.

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to be anxious around new people. When and as I see myself being anxious around new people - I stop and breathe. I realize that this is a pattern where my mind tries to direct me through definitions, belief and reactions that I created and that I simply have to direct myself in that moment and not allow the mind to interfere. Therefore I commit myself to no more accept and allow myself to be distracted with thoughts and reactions when I am around new people, instead I realize that I am equal to other people and that there are no real strangers because we are all the same as Life and I direct myself in breath to be relaxed and treat others as I would like to be.




I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to sabotage myself when doing school work by allowing myself to have thoughts of resistance and worry. When and as I see myself having thoughts of resistance and worry about school work - I stop and breathe. I commit myself to not accept and allow myself to go into resistance and worry, instead I take a breath to stop all thoughts and direct myself to do the work and I do not accept and allow any self-sabotage through thoughts, emotions, excuses.

Saturday, October 12, 2013

Day 105 - Judging my speaking

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to judge the words I speak, the ideas I speak, the thoughts I speak before I even spoke them and when I am speaking in front of other people.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to let go of the fear that what I speak will not be coherent, understandable, logical and sensible.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and myself to let go of the fear that I will be disliked, proven wrong or laughed at when I speak in front of others.

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to fear that my father will not agree with what I am saying and to feel inferior when he or someone does not agree with what I am saying.

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to go into fear of rejection and inferiority when someone does not agree with me.

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to judge others who I don't agree with as inferior, wrong and stupid and to judge me in the same way. I realize that being wrong or not being agreed with by others is nothing 'bad' and is not shameful because no one knows everything and all people make mistakes and have wrong perceptions. I commit myself to not accept and allow myself to fear that may be wrong and that others will not agree with me. I commit myself to not judge myself as inferior, stupid and to not go into shame and fear of rejection/ridicule when others don't agree with me or when I am proven wrong. Instead I breathe and take the opportunity to learn something new.

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to perceive the act of someone not agreeing with me as dangerous for the status of my relationship and reputation.

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to wish/want/desire to be reputable among other people and to within this worry about/fear their opinions, observations. I realize and understand that as long as I will desire to have a 'good reputation' among others, to be liked by all and to have agreeing relationships with others, so long I will be afraid of rejection and disagreement. Therefore I commit myself to no more accept and allow myself to wish/want/desire to have a 'good reputation' among others and to have agreeing relationships with others. I commit myself to no more accept and allow myself to fear that others will not agree with me.

I realize and understand that only I can stop judging and comparing myself through inferiority/superiority and that I am always equal to all as Life and so it is useless to judge myself and feel inferior if others don't agree with me.

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to feel ashamed and less than when someone doesn't agree with me or when someone says that I did not do something well enough or how it was expected. I commit myself to no more feel ashamed and inferior in such situations and I commit myself to not take them personally. Instead I move myself in the breath and take the opportunity to learn something new and make myself better.