Tuesday, June 25, 2013

Day 88 - Allowing myself to be patient with myself


I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to slow down and breathe whenever I create, experience a resistance, depression, repulsion, negativity within and as me towards a specific activity, thought. When and as I see myself experiencing resistance, depression, repulsion, negativity towards a specific activity, thought - I stop and breathe. I stabilize myself with breathing and I apply self-forgiveness on the thoughts I see coming up within me. I commit myself to gently move myself within the physical, while being aware of my breath, to work on/go through the planned activity and to apply self-forgiveness and slow down whenever I start creating resistances or experience too-muchness.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define, perceive the activities that have to be done and are mandatory as negative, boring and within this I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to create resistance, repulsion, negativity within myself towards such activities. I realize and understand that this is the negative side/polarity of my mind construct where I on the other hand define activities that are not mandatory, repetitive and that don't require thinking, memorizing, logic, data/information filtering or heavy and long physical work as fun and interesting. Thus I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define such activities as positive, interesting, fun and I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to create a positive experience, feeling within and as myself towards them. I commit myself to stop the polarity of good, positive, fun experiences, definitions and also the bad, negative, resistance, repulsion experiences within myself and to instead breath and direct myself here as the physical.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to go into thinking whenever I do not understand, remember, know how exactly I should do an exercise where I go into my mind and start looking for a solution and then create resistance, nervousness. I realize and understand that whenever I get stuck, don't know what to do, how to do something, I have to slow myself down and breathe and not go into paranoid thinking and searching for all the possibilities within my mind as quickly as possible as I will with this only create more nervousness, resistance and confusion for myself. I commit myself to within such situations slow down and breathe and follow the first practical, common sense direction, solution that comes up and then stick to that within breath and not think about all the other possibilities while I direct myself as I will with this only distract and confuse myself.

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to give myself enough time to do my activities.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to put the time restriction and the pressure of doing it quickly and 'in time' when I do an activity. When and as I see myself thinking, creating a perceived time limit and with this time pressure within myself - I stop and breathe. I realize and understand that by creating time restriction for myself I only create nervousness and stress for myself where I want to do an activity as quickly as possible, instead of focusing on the activity itself and on what is here. Therefore I commit myself to not wish/want/desire to finish with an activity as quickly as possible but to instead focus on breath and what is here and on the activity itself and I commit myself to give myself time and move/direct myself slowly in the breath.

I forgive myself that I hadn't accepted and allowed myself to be patient, tolerant and gentle with myself.
I forgive myself that I hadn't accepted and allowed myself to move slowly and within the breath.
I forgive myself that I hadn't accepted and allowed myself to slow down my thoughts, my mind.
I forgive myself that I hadn't accepted and allowed myself to look at my thoughts with patience.
I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to wish/want/desire to look through all my thoughts and patterns as quickly as possible and remove them as quickly as possible, instead of slowing myself down and looking at them one by one while breathing.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to make myself believe that looking at each and every thought and pattern is too slow and that it will take too long for me to remove them and go through all of them in this way. I realize and understand that slowing myself down with breathing and allowing myself to look at my every thought slowly, is the only way that I can see, realize and understand my mind and how it works and how I create(d) the patterns, so that I can remove, delete them and correct them/myself within common sense and what is best for all. I commit myself to always slow myself down with breath and be patient with myself and to allow myself to look at all my thoughts and patterns slowly while breathing and being here so that I can see the patterns, thoughts, reactions that come up and remove them with self-forgiveness.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that writing out my patterns and mind constructs every day is not effective enough and to within this create resistance and repulsion towards writing so that I could avoid it and blame my resistance, negative experience for it. I realize and understand that the only effective way for me to get to know my mind and my patterns is to be patient with myself and write them out every day so that I can see them and remove them and correct myself and make myself a better and more effective being within common sense and what is best for all. I commit myself to accept and allow myself to be patient and gentle with myself within writing out my mind patterns every day.

I realize and understand that the things I do for myself as Life to be better, more effective and free from the mind patterns and energetic addictions will stay with me and I realize and understand that only I can make myself better, more effective, less addicted and limited and that this 'who I am as Life' as I create myself is the only real thing about me that matters as everything else is not me and will not last as it is just energetic mind patterns. I commit myself to remind myself with every breath that the real me as Life is me here in the physical in breath, without any thoughts and energetic reactions, feelings, emotions and that I can only be here as me as Life when I direct myself in breath within common sense and what is best for all, without accepting and allowing myself to be influenced and directed by my mind as thoughts, feelings emotions, fears, resistances, desires...