Tuesday, October 30, 2012

Day 38 - Being my starting point

I forgive myself for NOT accepting and allowing myself to realize that I do not have to feel sad, depressed and be in fear because I do not have a partner.

I forgive myself for NOT accepting and allowing myself to stop defining not having a partner as sad and depressing.

I forgive myself for NOT accepting and allowing myself to stop all the backchat, breathe and simply be here with myself.

I forgive myself for NOT accepting and allowing myself to enjoy being with myself alone.

I forgive myself for NOT accepting and allowing myself to realize that I made myself believe that I need certain people/situations in order to feel happy, loved, safe or a certain way.

I forgive myself for NOT accepting and allowing myself to let go of the belief that I need a partner in order to feel loved, safe and be happy with myself.

I forgive myself for NOT accepting and allowing myself to stop worrying about the future.

I forgive myself for NOT accepting and allowing myself to stop worrying about what might happen if something doesn't go as I planned it.

I forgive myself for NOT accepting and allowing myself to stop going into fear and anxiety when I don't see a solution to a problem that I have to solve. When and as I see myself going into fear, anxiety and nervousness when I realize that I don't see a solution to the problem that I have to solve - I stop and breathe. Instead I remain here in the breath and I look at what else can I do to find a solution.

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I forgive myself for NOT accepting and allowing myself to stop fearing asking a professor/assistant a question/for help.

I forgive myself for NOT accepting and allowing myself to stop feeling nervous before/when I want to ask a professor/assistant a question.

I forgive myself for NOT accepting and allowing myself to stop judging myself as stupid and less than before/when I want to ask a professor/assistant a question.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to go into self-judgment and the belief that I am stupid and less than others when I ask the professor/assistant a question and others react to it.

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to realize that I care so much about what others say/think about me because I do not trust myself and because I judge myself and have low self-confidence, so I believe that others have to say/think good about me, so that I will be happy with myself and accept myself as good/worthy/equal.

I forgive myself for NOT accepting and allowing myself to stop worrying/caring about what others have to say or think about me. I realize that people will always have things to say about me and that their judgments and reactions are their own responsibility and have nothing to do with me or how I should see myself or look at myself.

I forgive myself for NOT accepting and allowing myself to stop judging/blaming myself based on other people's reactions/judgments/comments about me.

I forgive myself for NOT accepting and allowing myself to stop judging myself as strange/weird if I do not act in the same way that others do or that the majority deos.

I forgive myself for NOT accepting and allowing myself to be myself and be confident with myself.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to want to blend in with the majority.

I forgive myself for NOT accepting and allowing myself to realize that I fear to expose myself in front of others or be in center of attention because I care about what others say/think about me.

I forgive myself for NOT accepting and allowing myself to trust myself to be myself, accept myself and direct/support myself in a way that is best for me while not harming/limiting others and allowing/helping them to do the same.

I forgive myself for NOT accepting and allowing myself to be my own starting point and do things for me. I realize that I only have myself and that no one can help me be me or change me as I can only do that for myself.

I commit myself to be my own starting point and do things for me and because of me and to always bring points back to myself and align myself to what is best for all life.

Tuesday, October 23, 2012

Day 37 - Safety

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define safety as having a certain future.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define safety as a lack of fear of the future.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to search for/desire the feeling of safety through securing my future and making it certain in terms of having a good job, a lot of money and many friends that are willing to help me.


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define safety through/as being certain that I will be able to have, save and protect what I have/want to have. I realize that the only thing I have is me and everything else was never mine and never will be. I realize that everything I perceive I have can and will be taken away and yet I will remain here. When and as I see myself looking for safety, fearing the future - I stop and I breathe. I realize that I fear loosing and not having what I never really had anyway and so I stop defining myself through that which I perceive I have and could loose. I realize that I only have myself here in the breath and that the only safety and certainty that I have is the certainty of me always being here with me and the certainty of me directing me. I commit myself to always immediately see through the illusion of fears of the future and search for safety and to remind myself that the only thing that I really have is me and nothing else. I commit myself to let go of everything that can/will be taken away from me and not hang on to anything and to direct myself here in the breath towards common sense and what is best for all as me.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to search for safety through being with/having a partner.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to hanging on to my partner for the illusion of safety.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to wishing/wanting/desiring a partner in order to create/have the illusion of safety.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to equate having a partner with safety.

I forgive myself for NOT accepting and allowing myself to stop defining safety as something outside of myself, like my partner or having a partner, having friends and having a lot of money.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear letting go of the idea/illusion of safety through my partner and having a partner.

I forgive myself for NOT accepting and allowing myself to let go of the idea/illusion of safety through my partner/having a partner.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to think/believe/perceive that safety is something outside of myself.

Tuesday, October 2, 2012

Day 36 - School and study fears & definitions

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be afraid that I will not finish schooling. When and as I see myself being afraid that I will not finish school – I stop and I breathe. I realize that fearing and imagining myself failing is self-sabotage. I commit myself to stop the fear and thoughts of me not finishing school and remain here in the breath, directing myself in the physical and focus on the here moment and learn/do what is required to be successful.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be afraid that the school is too hard for me.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define school as hard/too hard for me. I realize that the school seems hard/too hard for me just because I defined it as such. When and as I see myself defining school as hard/too hard for me – I stop and breathe. I commit myself to stop defining school and learning as hard/too hard and simply be here in the breath in the moment and do/learn what is required for me to finish school.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to think/believe/perceive that I am unable to learn everything that is expected of me to finish the school. I realize that this is a belief that I created and that I simply have to stop defining/believing that I am unable to learn everything that is expected of me. I commit myself to stop believing and making beliefs that I am unable to learn everything that is expected of me to finish school and be here in the breath in the moment and direct myself to do/learn what is required to finish school.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to go into fear whenever I see I do not understand something at school. I realize that this fear is completely irrational as I create it through thinking/imagining the consequences of me failing, which is self-sabotage. When and as I see myself going into fear when I do not understand something at school and/or imagining the consequences of me failing – I stop and I breathe. I commit myself to remain here in the breath when I do not understand something and ask for support and look at how I can assist myself to understand and learn what is required.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to immediately go into self-judgment when I do not know something at school. I realize that I cannot expect from me to know and immediately understand what I learn at school because I go to school to learn new things. When and as I see myself immediately going into self-judgment when I do not know something at school – I stop and breathe. I commit myself to stop all self-judgment when I do not know something at school and to always remind myself that it is unrealistic of me to expect that I will know/understand everything immediately and at the same time than others do when I learn new things.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to immediately go into self-judgment when I see that others already know/understand something at school that I don't, believing that I should know too and that I am failing and not being good enough and then go into fear of imagining the consequences of me not knowing/failing. I realize that this is complete self-sabotage that is of no use as there is always people that know more than me or who will 'get it' sooner and that this does not mean that I am failing or being less than and that I will not finish school or be able to learn what is required because of it. I commit myself to stop all self-judgment when I see that others already know/understand something at school that I don't and I commit myself to stop all beliefs that I should know too and that I will be failing school because of this.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that it is hard / unpleasant to learn/study. I realize that I experience it as so because I believe it is as I have created this belief. When and as I see myself having resistance to study/learn, believing that it is hard / unpleasant to learn/study – I stop and breathe. I commit myself to stop the belief that it is hard / unpleasant to learn/study and I commit myself to stop all resistances towards learning/studying.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that I can never enjoy myself when I learn/study for school. I realize that this belief is in no way useful as I realize I can enjoy learning/studying for school as anyone else as soon as I stop believing that I cannot enjoy learning/studying for school. When and as I see myself not enjoying studying for school and believing I cannot enjoy studying for school – I stop and breathe. I commit myself to stop all beliefs that I cannot enjoy myself studying for school and to be here in the breath in the moment and enjoy directing myself in learning new things as I study for school.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define studying for school as not fun/depressing. I realize that I experience studying for school as not fun/depressing because I defined it as such and because I believe that this is so instead of stopping the belief and enjoying myself here as I study for school. When and as I see myself experiencing studying as not fun/depressing and defining it as such – I stop and breathe. I commit myself to stop all beliefs that studying for school is not fun/is depressing and I direct myself here in the breath to enjoy myself as I study for school.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to immediately go into resistance and anxiety when I study for school or thing of studying for school. I realize that I experience this resistance and anxiety because of all the definitions and beliefs I created around studying for school and so I commit myself to let go of all the definitions/judgments/beliefs about studying and simply be here in the breath, directing and enjoying myself as I study for school. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to immediately start thinking about what could I do instead of studying for school when studying, going to study or thinking about studying. I realize that I do that because I defined studying for school as not fun and other things as more fun. When and as I see myself starting to think about other things I could do instead of studying when I study, go to study or thinking about studying – I stop and I breathe. I commit myself to stop defining studying as less fun as other things and to let go of all negative definitions about studying and to stop comparing studying with other activities and simply be here in the breath in the moment as I study, go to study or thing about studying.

Thursday, September 13, 2012

Day 35 - Self-Intimacy, fear of a relative dying


I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to be completely intimate with myself.

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to be vulnerable with myself.

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to completely expose myself to myself in self-honesty and without judgments.

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to look deep into myself without judgments, to get to know who I have accepted and allowed myself to become so that I can correct myself and realign myself with Life and what is best for all in all ways.

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to realize that I do this for me and no one else as only I can change me and realign me what is best for all and be Life here, one and equal.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to create and give into a resistance to face myself and write myself out. When and as I see myself resist facing myself and writing myself out - I stop and I breathe. I realize that the feeling/resistance I created for myself is a pattern and a self-defence mechanism of the mind where I am avoiding facing myself and taking self-responsibility to direct, change and realign myself with what is best for all. I commit myself to stop/transcend the resistance and face myself in self-honesty, self-intimacy and self-vulnerability and write myself out to see the patterns and re-align myself with what is best for all Life.

I commit myself to walk my process for me first to first get to know me and change/realign me according to what is best for all Life.

I commit myself to be completely self-honest and self-intimate with myself and to allow myself to be vulnerable to myself in order to see/explore all of me and what I have accepted and allowed myself to become and so change/correct and realign me according to what is best for all Life.



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to go into fear of death when I see X.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear the death of one of my relatives.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear facing the consequences/situation of one of my relatives dying. When and as I see myself fearing the consequence/situation of one of my relatives dying - I stop and breathe. I realize that I create this fear myself through the backchat of the mind where I fear losing that which I never had and so I stop. I commit myself to stop all fear of death and other people/relatives dying and be here in the breath.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear having to show sadness and cry when one of my relative dies so that others wouldn't judge me as careless/heartless/inconsiderate.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear being accused of/judged as/blamed for being heartless/heartless/inconsiderate.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to judge me as being careless/heartless/inconsiderate if I don't cry/am sad when one of my relatives die.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to think/believe/perceive that a person that does not cry and is not sad when someone dies is heartless/careless and inconsiderate.

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to realize that crying/sadness has nothing to do with caring and being considerate as these emotions are just a momentary release of an energy build up.



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear seeing my mother and father crying and being sad.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear having to comfort/support my mother and father or someone else when they are crying and being sad.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to freeze and go into fear when I see my parents/someone crying or being sad.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to think/believe/perceive that I don't know what to do and how to comfort someone when one is crying/sad.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to judge/define hugging my mother and father as awkward.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to feel awkward/embarrassed/ashamed when I hug my mother or father or someone else.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to think/believe/perceive that hugging one's mother or father is strange/awkward/embarrassing and a sign of being weak/childish.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to think/believe/perceive that I am weak/'gay'/childish if I hug my father or my mother.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to judge myself as weak/childish/dependant if I hug my mother or father.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to judge/define hugging one's parents as a sign of being weak/childish/dependant.

Wednesday, September 5, 2012

Day 34 - Fear of bugs

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear and be afraid of bugs.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear that bugs will hurt me and make me sick/infected.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define bugs as ugly/gross/scary/disgusting and horrifying.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to think/believe/perceive/define hairy bugs as gross/disgusting/ugly.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to think/believe/perceive that dead bugs are gross and disgusting.

Spiders:

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear spiders.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear that a spider would bite me.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be afraid of spider's venom.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define/see/perceive spider's as ugly/disgusting/horrifying.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define/see/perceive spider's mouth, eyes, legs and hairs as ugly/disgusting/horrifying.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to think/believe/perceive/define multiple spider eyes as scary/ugly and disgusting.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to connect the picture/shape of a spider with ugliness/disgustingness/horror. lol

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear that a spider will jump on me and hurt me. lol

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear that a spider will crawl into my mouth, nose or other body openings.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear that I will accidentally get a spider into my mouth
and eat it.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be afraid to touch a spider and have it on my skin/body.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to think/believe/perceive that spiders are aggressive and will bite me and hurt me.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to imagine spider biting me when I have it on my skin/body.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to think/believe/perceive that spiders are dirty/infected and that I will get dirty/infected as well if I touch them and in this I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to think/believe that I have to clean myself if a spider was touching my skin.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to think/believe/perceive that dead spider are gross and disgusting.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to go into an urge to get a spider off of me as quickly as possible when I see him on my skin/body. When and as I see myself going into a fear reaction when I see a spider on my skin/body - I stop and breathe. I realize I am perpetuating an irrational fear reaction and so I stop. I commit myself to stop all reactions to spiders and not react when I see a spider on my skin/body.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to react with fear and disgust when I have a spider on my skin/body. when and as I see myself reacting with fear/disgust when I have a spider on my skin/body - I stop and breathe. I realize that I am creating all these fears/judgments about spiders myself for no reason but to be enslaved/limited to my own energy experience of the mind and so I stop. I commit myself to stop all fears/judgments/reactions to spiders and be here in the breath and one and equal with them.

Grasshoppers:

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear and be afraid of grasshoppers.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear that a grasshopper will bite me and hurt me.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define/see/perceive a grasshoppers eyes, mouth, head, legs and body as gross/disgusting/ugly and terrifying.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to imagine a grasshopper biting me when I see one.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to go into an urge to get a grasshopper off of me as quickly as possible when I see him on my skin/body. When and as I see myself going into a fear reaction when I see a grasshopper on my skin/body - I stop and breathe. I realize I am perpetuating an irrational fear reaction and so I stop. I commit myself to stop all reactions to grasshoppers and not react when I see a grasshopper on my skin/body.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to react with fear and disgust when I have a grasshopper on my skin/body. when and as I see myself reacting with fear/disgust when I have a grasshopper on my skin/body - I stop and breathe. I realize that I am creating all these fears/judgments about grasshoppers myself for no reason but to be enslaved/limited to my own energy experience of the mind and so I stop. I commit myself to stop all fears/judgments/reactions to grasshoppers and be here in the breath and one and equal with them.

Monday, September 3, 2012

Day 33 - Meeting the familiar people & Whispering

Usually when I encounter someone I know from somewhere I react with fear of starting a conversation with them as I realize that I don't remember their name which I see as embarrassing. So I look away and avoid contact.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to go into an irrational fear when I see someone familiar whose name I don't remember. When and as I see myself going into an irrational fear when seeing someone familiar - I stop and I breathe. I realize that I fear my own fear and react to it. I commit myself to stop the fear of meeting familiar people whose names I don't know or any other people.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be embarrassed when I don't know/forgot someone's name. I realize that being embarrassed is completely unnecessary as it will not solve/change anything. I commit myself to stop all embarrassment/fear in front of other people and simply be here in the breath.

I commit myself to when I see someone familiar and don't know his name, to no go into fear and look away and avoid contact, but instead say hello and stop all fears/self judgments/embarrassment.



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to go into irritation whenever I hear someone whispering/mumbling/talking quietly.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to think/believe/perceive that whispering/mumbling/talking quietly is rude/inappropriate and disrespectful.

I commit myself to stop irritations/reactions and all definitions about whispering/mumbling/talking quietly.

Saturday, September 1, 2012

Day 32 - Sexual Attraction to Pictures

Flat stomachs

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to exist within and as arousal and sexual excitement whenever I see a flat woman's stomach. When and as I see myself going into arousal and sexual excitement when I see a flat woman's stomach – I stop and breathe. I realize that I myself have defined the picture of a flat woman's stomach as sexual and arousing and so I myself am the one who is still accepting and allowing in that moment to get/be aroused and sexually excited, by having the picture of a flat woman's stomach as a trigger point. I commit myself to stop the addiction to sexual energetic excitement through picture stimulation such as the flat woman's stomach.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to use the picture of a flat woman's stomach as an excuse and justification as why I am excited. When and as I see myself using/existing within and as the excuse of 'it is the picture of a flat woman's stomach that got me excited' – I stop and breathe. I realize that I am the one who is still accepting and allowing myself to become/be excited through the excuse/justification that it is a picture of a flat woman's stomach who got me excited. I commit myself to not user external points as an excuse of why I am excited/sexually aroused and why I am the way I am and to direct myself here in the breath to stop energetic addictions through perceived pictures such as a flat woman's stomach.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to exist within and as the desire to touch a flat woman's stomach and get the experience of hitting a jackpot in the way where I would get what I always imagined/wanted/desired through thoughts in my mind. When and as I see myself existing within and as the desire to touch a flat woman's stomach – I stop and breathe. I realize that I exist within this desire as I have given this act of being able to touch a flat woman's stomach a higher value within my mind as a pattern through which I would/could experience the highest possible energetic sexual arousal and orgasm. I commit myself to stop searching/chasing the sexual energetic high/orgasm and stop the pattern of sexual addiction to energy and energetic arousal through pictures/imagination/thoughts and instead create a new pattern where I remain here in the breath and focus on the physical touch without any pictures/thoughts/wishes/desires.

Women figures

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to look and search for 'perfect' women figures whenever I am around women. When and as I see myself looking/searching for 'perfect' women figures – I stop and breathe. I realize that I am through this still accepting and allowing myself to exist within and as the pattern of addiction to sexual energy arousal through pictures. I commit myself to stop looking/searching for ‘perfect’ pictures of women figures by being self-directive in the moment and not intentionally turning my head/eyes towards such pictures but remaining here in the breath, not accepting and allowing myself to be directed by such energies/desires.