Day 264 - Backchat on perceiving I am being exploited

My previous blog is in Slovene.

For the last few days I helped at my friend's place to paint a room and get it ready for another friend who will live there. While I was painting, both friends had other things to do as well so I was mostly left to work on the room alone. During this time I allowed a backchat to come up within me where I perceived it is not fair that only I work on the room and that I am being exploited, so I got angry. I'll be writing self-forgiveness on this pattern.

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to think/believe/perceive that when I agree to help someone and he/she then goes to do other things, that I am being exploited and then feel inferior and angry and create backchat around it, such as: "this is not fair, why should I work for free while they don't care to help...". When and as I see myself going into anger, feeling inferior and perceiving that it is not fair that I work on something I agreed I will help with while other's do other things - I stop and breathe. I realize that I am within this looking at the situation only through my selfish perspective where I am not willing to help someone if he does not work with me, instead of seeing/realizing that others might have to do some things that have to be done also, while I don't, so I can in the mean time still work on the thing I am helping with, without creating the point of judgement, comparison, inferiority and then perception of unfairness within me. I see that with this I only allow myself to exist in and as the backchat in my mind for the sole reason of creating emotional reactions and more needles distracting energy for the mind. Thus I commit myself to no think/believe/perceive that when I agree to help someone and he/she then goes to do some other things, that I am now being exploited and that this is not fair as I understand that other might have other things they have to do as well while I can continue with what I am helping with alone for a while, focusing on self-expression instead of backchat.

I forgive myself for asking others to help me with something and then leaving them to work on it by themselves while I go do something else, without explaining that I have to do something important and asking them to continue on their own for a moment, until I come back. I commit myself to ask people who help me with something if they can continue to work on their own for a moment when I have to do some other thing that needs to be done, instead of just leaving them on their own.

I forgive myself for judging and blaming people who leave me alone, without explanation, to work on something they asked me to help with, as rude, arrogant, unfair, exploitative, selfish - I stop and breathe. I realize and understand that what they did is not personal and that my judgement of them is my own pattern I have to stop as it is not supportive. Thus I commit myself to not judge and blame people who leave me alone, without explanation, to work on something they asked me to help with, as rude, arrogant, unfair, exploitative, selfish. Instead I ask them if there is something important they have to do that cannot wait and if they would like me to continue while they are not there nad for how long and also to ask them to give me a notice about such things next time.

My Declaration of Principle: 14. Relationships as Agreements

The 14th principle I am committing myself to live by is the principle of Relationships as Agreements, meaning: individuals coming together using agreements as a platform to one-on-one expand, grow and develop as individuals in life and living to support/assist each other unconditionally to reach their utmost potential where the agreement is a coming together of individuals understanding what it means to stand as equals and to stand as one.

What this means in practice is that I will not base my relationships with others on my emotions and feelings or other selfish - only what I want - impulses that I pop up within me from my mind-consciousness system. Instead, I will observe myself in self-honesty through the help of writing and make sure that how I create my relationships with others and what I base them on, is not only best for me, but equally best for the other person, where we can both help each other to expand as who we are as living beings. Not limit each other, like people do when they for example fall in love with someone and then make themselves believe that they cannot live without the other person - this is complete self-limitation and self-diminishment. To achieve this goal, I also have to remove all my emotional patterns that I have been experiencing and creating in the past, such as attraction, love, desire, envy, hate and any others with which I limited myself within my relationships with others.

Within this I also realize how everything that I see within other people is just a reflection of myself. If I hate or judge another, it is because I have created this pattern of thought towards that person within myself and so I am responsible to stop the pattern of hate and judgement, because I am diminishing and limiting both myself and the other person when I participate in it.
Also if I desire to be with another person it is because I see something within that person that I believe I do not have and am separate from, but the solution is not for me to seek for this in another person, instead I learn to give and gift it to myself by myself, because I am the one separating myself from it in the first place by starting to believe that I do not have what I see within another person.

As I take self-responsibility for myself as I described above, I will become my own best support as I always should be and so I will also be able to support others in the best possible way by being an example of how to change self and become a better human being that constantly expands the potential of not only self, but also helps others to do so, by learning and teaching how to be a self-directive human being that is not inferior to one's own emotions and feeling / mind-consciousness system.

Follow this link to see the full list of principles I am committing myself to live by.

Day 190 - My Declaration of Principle: 10. Making Love Visible

The 10th principle I commit myself to live by is the principle of: Making Love Visible – through me not accepting/allowing anything less than my utmost potential, I support those in my life to reach their utmost potential, to love them as I have shown love to myself by gifting to me my utmost potential, the best life/living experience and show others as I have shown myself what it means to LIVE.

Through walking my process of applying self-honesty and self-forgiveness I firstly start loving myself by stopping the self-blame, self-hatred, self-judgment and other self-abuse, where I make sure that I give myself attention and care. With this I stop suppressing my own problems (thoughts and emotional reactions) that come up within me and take complete self-responsibility for them, where I make sure that I align my living principles to practical common sense and what is Best for All. This means that I create relationships with others based on the understanding that we are all equal as Life and that separation between us is actually not real, because it is just a selfish perception of spite within my mind, that I used to justify my selfishness, my ego, my ignorance and my abuse towards others.

Walking and applying this practically is a process of conscious effort to change myself practically, where I for example examine where do I react to others with anger, blame and spitefulness, forgive these emotions, thoughts and patterns of behavior and then apply the correction practically, where I don't react anymore to another emotionally. Instead I understand that I don't have to take what others do personally, but put myself into their shoes and see what they are going through and so, based on my realizations and self-correction, stand as support for them, where I listen, understand and explain how I have dealt with such and similar problems another is facing and how I have learned to take responsibility for myself, to be my own solution to every problem that I created and become aware of.

Within such constant practical application I take self-responsibility for myself where I learn to live the word care and love practically, not as an emotion that is sometimes here and sometimes transformed into hate and spite. And as I gave an example above, this is how I make love actually visible through the ways I change myself in how I approach myself, other people and any situation that needs to be directed in a way that is Best for All.

Making love visible often also means to help me and others to see what I/they don't really want to see by being brutally self-honest and finding the core of the problem within me or another, as only by taking self-responsibility for the primary cause of the problem within ourselves, we can truly remove it by changing ourselves and standing as a solution. This means that I must push myself though the fears and perceived limitations and make sure that I do not accept any bullshit from myself or another, because only by going beyond the fears and perceived limitations can we truly extend our potential and so make sure that we become the best we can be.

There cannot be any visible love if we simply allow ourselves and each other to stagnate within our comfort zones that we trapped ourselves into because of our fears and emotions. It is our responsibility to constantly encourage ourselves and each other to break all self-limitations and stop all the ignorance, until we can be sure that all abuse of Life has been stopped and prevented.

Day 161 - My Declaration of Principle: 8. Being aware of self and others and supporting Life

Previous blog is in Slovene.

The eight principle I am committing myself to live by is the Principle of taking responsibility for myself to become aware of myself and others in my life, to assist and support them as I am assisting and supporting myself – to give as I would like to receive and do the extra bit every day to see where I can contribute to other’s lives and so my own.

Being aware of myself means that I observe myself and what is going on within myself in every breath. What thoughts am I having, what emotions and feelings, where are they coming from, how am I creating them and how can I direct myself in alignment to what is best for all Life? Here I practice self-aware breathing, combined with "brutal" self-honesty, to really see the causes of the patterns that I participate in and then I take self-responsibility for them and apply self-forgiveness. After this I can lay out the practical self-correction which I will implement in my Life, so that I can become less limited and help more to implement, with my own practical example, human relationships that will result in a system that is best for all of us. All this process I do through writing, like you can see on this blog, and then applying myself in my everyday practical life.

It is important that I firstly focus on myself, because I cannot help others if I do not help myself first and get to know how I can do it. Then I commit myself to also assist others and help them as I would like to be assisted and helped if I was in the shoes of another. By help and assistance I mostly mean the support of showing others with my example how they can as well take self-responsibility for their own mind and emotional patterns and change themselves and their lives to become more effective and more stable and start helping to create a world where a dignified life for all will be guaranteed. Because this is the only way it is going to happen, when every one of us takes self-responsibility to actively participate in creating a world that is best for all and not based on selfishness and abuse of Life.

Follow this link to see the full list of principles I am committing myself to live by.

Day 38 - Being my starting point

I forgive myself for NOT accepting and allowing myself to realize that I do not have to feel sad, depressed and be in fear because I do not have a partner.

I forgive myself for NOT accepting and allowing myself to stop defining not having a partner as sad and depressing.

I forgive myself for NOT accepting and allowing myself to stop all the backchat, breathe and simply be here with myself.

I forgive myself for NOT accepting and allowing myself to enjoy being with myself alone.

I forgive myself for NOT accepting and allowing myself to realize that I made myself believe that I need certain people/situations in order to feel happy, loved, safe or a certain way.

I forgive myself for NOT accepting and allowing myself to let go of the belief that I need a partner in order to feel loved, safe and be happy with myself.

I forgive myself for NOT accepting and allowing myself to stop worrying about the future.

I forgive myself for NOT accepting and allowing myself to stop worrying about what might happen if something doesn't go as I planned it.

I forgive myself for NOT accepting and allowing myself to stop going into fear and anxiety when I don't see a solution to a problem that I have to solve. When and as I see myself going into fear, anxiety and nervousness when I realize that I don't see a solution to the problem that I have to solve - I stop and breathe. Instead I remain here in the breath and I look at what else can I do to find a solution.

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I forgive myself for NOT accepting and allowing myself to stop fearing asking a professor/assistant a question/for help.

I forgive myself for NOT accepting and allowing myself to stop feeling nervous before/when I want to ask a professor/assistant a question.

I forgive myself for NOT accepting and allowing myself to stop judging myself as stupid and less than before/when I want to ask a professor/assistant a question.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to go into self-judgment and the belief that I am stupid and less than others when I ask the professor/assistant a question and others react to it.

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to realize that I care so much about what others say/think about me because I do not trust myself and because I judge myself and have low self-confidence, so I believe that others have to say/think good about me, so that I will be happy with myself and accept myself as good/worthy/equal.

I forgive myself for NOT accepting and allowing myself to stop worrying/caring about what others have to say or think about me. I realize that people will always have things to say about me and that their judgments and reactions are their own responsibility and have nothing to do with me or how I should see myself or look at myself.

I forgive myself for NOT accepting and allowing myself to stop judging/blaming myself based on other people's reactions/judgments/comments about me.

I forgive myself for NOT accepting and allowing myself to stop judging myself as strange/weird if I do not act in the same way that others do or that the majority deos.

I forgive myself for NOT accepting and allowing myself to be myself and be confident with myself.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to want to blend in with the majority.

I forgive myself for NOT accepting and allowing myself to realize that I fear to expose myself in front of others or be in center of attention because I care about what others say/think about me.

I forgive myself for NOT accepting and allowing myself to trust myself to be myself, accept myself and direct/support myself in a way that is best for me while not harming/limiting others and allowing/helping them to do the same.

I forgive myself for NOT accepting and allowing myself to be my own starting point and do things for me. I realize that I only have myself and that no one can help me be me or change me as I can only do that for myself.

I commit myself to be my own starting point and do things for me and because of me and to always bring points back to myself and align myself to what is best for all life.

Day 21 - Relationship points: helplessness

How do I experience helplessness?
I don’t know how to do something and I perceive I have no one to ask for help and I fear that I will not be able to overcome what I am doing. I judge myself as incapable and feel ashamed, less than, unworthy.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to go into helplessness whenever I perceive myself as alone and/or don’t know what to do and in this I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to trust myself that I am able to help myself or find help.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear that I will not know how to do something and have no one to ask for help. I realize that this fear is completely irrational and unnecessary. When and as I see myself fearing not knowing how to do something and having no one to ask for help – I stop and I breathe. Instead I direct myself here in the breath and see what I can do and how I can expand myself and learn something new.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to judge/see/perceive myself as less than when I don’t know (how to do) something. I realize that what one knows/can do does not define one’s value as who one is as Life. When and as I see myself judging/seeing/perceiving myself as less than when I don’t know (how to do) something – I stop and I breathe. Instead I direct myself in the breath as an equal and take such an opportunity to learn something new and expand myself.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear that I will not be able to overcome what I am doing/what I have to do and fail and in this I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define the word failure as something bad and define myself according to it whenever I don’t succeed, instead of realizing that failure always happen when doing things and/or learning something new where I can expand and perfect myself and learn to be more self-directive. When and as I see myself fearing not knowing what to do/failing/not being able to do something successfully – I stop ad I breathe. Instead I direct myself here in the breath and I commit myself to take such opportunities to learn and expand myself.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define/see/perceive being alone and not knowing what to do as a shameful failure, instead of embracing it as an opportunity to expand myself and learn something new.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to judge/define myself as incapable of finding friends and feel ashamed, less than, sad and unworthy when I am alone, instead of taking the opportunity to be with myself and enjoy myself.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define people who immediately know what to do as capable and others as incapable and in this I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to compare myself and my skills/capabilities to others.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to immediately go into inferiority when I see someone knowing something I don’t/knowing what to do when I don’t. I realize that I can never stand equal to others as long as I separate myself through comparing myself to others. When and as I see myself comparing myself and what I do/know to others – I stop and I breathe. Instead I stand here in the breath as an equal and direct myself in common sense without comparison.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define/see/perceive people who are alone as unhappy. I realize that this is because I defined and connected aloneness with unhappiness within myself. When and as I see myself defining/connecting aloneness with unhappiness – I stop and I breathe. Instead I stay here in the breath.

I commit myself to not give into helplessness whenever I find myself alone or without help but instead take the opportunity to expand myself and learn something new.

Day 20 - Relationship points: fear and anxiety

How do I experience fear and anxiety?
I fear the future, fear of not having enough money, fear of not knowing what to do, fear of not having anyone to help me. Fear of being rejected by everyone.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to go into fear and anxiety when thinking about ending my relationship with her and not being/living with her.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to connect aloneness to fear and anxiety where I picture myself living alone in a small apartment and having no friends and no one to talk to/hang out with.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to connect aloneness to sadness, sorrow, depression, failure.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to imagine how the future could be like if I live with her and if I don’t and to compare it in my mind.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear the future by thinking about how the future could be like if I am alone and not with her.

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to trust myself that I am able to take care of myself no matter what.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear that I will not have enough money someday in the future.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear that I will not know what to do.

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to trust myself that I will always find a practical solution for my problems.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear that I will have no one to help me and in this I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to trust myself that I will always be able to either help myself or find help.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear that all will reject me and I will be alone until I die.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to hide behind my partner by not taking complete self-responsibility to stand as self-sufficient and self-fulfilling human being as Life here.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to abuse my partner by letting her do things for me that I can do myself.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be too lazy and uninterested to direct and move myself here in self-responsibility, but instead rather letting my partner do things for me and taking care of me.

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to do things for myself and take care of myself alone.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to connect having a partner to secure and safe future.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to wish/want/desire to secure my future through my partner instead of taking self-responsibility for myself and trusting myself that I am able to live effectively myself alone, without the help of my partner.

I commit myself to take complete self-responsibility for myself and not rely on others but take care of me myself alone.

2012 - Alone = All-One

I am experiencing myself lately as "being alone" and "being away from friends" where I have defined friends as special and something "more then". Thus I have now experienced the other polarity, where before I believed that being with those who I define as "more than" makes me happy and now that I am not with them, I am not happy anymore. But in self-honesty, this is my own self-deception that I created in my thoughts. As I am looking at this self-deception I realize that in reality I am always alone and thus there is no need for me to create ideas and emotions/feelings about this because I can simply be here, one and equal with the physical = all-one with self and all that is here. By being always all-one with self here, I don't go into the mind but I move myself as the physical and I enjoy myself equally no matter if I walk "close" with others or "far" from others, we are all always here, even if it appears that we are not together because we cannot see each other. So, the "who I am" must always be the same and the fact that I am currently not walking "close" with anyone should not have any influence on me from the mental and feeling perspective as then I would accept and allow myself to be controlled by my own thoughts and feelings and so I would not be able to make decisions based on common sense and what is Best for All.

These are the points that come up:

- The feeling of missing out: The thoughts come up where I think and believe that other people have a "good time", meaning that they are enjoying themselves more and feel more exited, have more fun. So I become afraid that I will miss the opportunity to do something exciting, which actually means that I believe that other people/situations will give me emotions/feelings that I will perceive as worthwhile and that I will want to remember when I get older and can't do them anymore. So I also fear of getting old and dieing before I do the things that I perceive would give me "good feelings" and "good memories" which is all a big mind-fuck. I always create my own feelings, so if I believe that someone/something else gives me a feeling than I don't live for real anyway because I live in illusion and self-deception where I am controlled by my own desires of getting an energy feeling and then trying to remember them as picture that are also not real because they are of the mind and the mind is of energy which can and will simply disappear and so I will forget all of it anyway.
So, instead of focusing on trying to have "goof feelings" I will rather focus on being happy and satisfied with self here in every moment of breath so that I will actually live here as self as who I really am within self-direction and I will not try to create good memories for myself because I will lose them anyway and because if I do this I miss what is here by being in the mind that is not real. Also I will not fear of getting old and dying because I will get old and die anyway and if I don't live in self-honesty and in self-direction in every here moment, then my Life is a lie and an illusion anyway because I don't live myself but my fears, beliefs and preprogrammed mind patterns that are not real.

- The desire for a woman/relationship: where I fear that I will not have sex and that I will have to do everything by my own and that no one will help me if I am in trouble. Fear of not having sex is actually fear of not having an energy excitement and orgasm and fear of feeling "less than" other man, which is an ego point of comparison and competition. Fear of not having an energy excitement shows how I have addicted and limited myself to my own energy feelings that I create through my thoughts and pictures in my mind, thus I stop and simply be here in the breath. Fear of having to do everything by my own is fear of taking responsibility for myself where I believe that I am not capable of doing what needs to be done and taking care of myself which is self-sabotage. I stop the thoughts and realize that by simply being here I can learn what I don't know yet and/or ask for help when I need assistance and that there is no reason whatsoever for me to think that I cannot take care of myself. I simply move myself here in the breath with common sense and I can solve any problem.Comparison and competition is a complete illusionary mind pattern that I accepted and allowed through my life where I was thought and "forced" to compete within the system, thus I simply realize that by judging self and comparing self I only limit myself by defining myself as "less than" or "more than", so I stop. I realize that I am always equal to all as Life here and so "winning" is an illusion of the ego.

- Boredom: where I define myself as "boring" and "useless" and "not doing anything" instead of simply being here in the breath and doing what is common sense and expressing myself in the physical. I stop the thoughts and self-judgments / self-definitions and look with common sense where can I correct myself or simply express myself here.

2011 - Will my children be the boss? - Equal Money System FAQ

Children today are definitely not treated equally. Usually parents treat them as their "rightful property" and so they think and believe they can do with their kids whatever they feel is right, even if that means religion and/or cultural brainwashing and abuse, violence or whatever the parents do with their kids behind the closed doors in their homes. Of course all this situations are mostly the result of lack of money and poverty, which also often leads to family alcohol problems, or parents not being able to be with their kids as they have to work all day. And the fact that a lot of times people have kids unexpectedly when they are not ready yet and have no idea about how to be a good example for their kids in order to teach them how to be a self-honest, trustworthy, doing-what-is-Best-for-All human being. In an Equal Money System all these and other problems will be addressed and eventually taken care of in a way that is best for all. First of all, no one will have to work all day to get money for their children as children will also get their equal money and so, parents will actually be able to spend time with their kids. Alcohol will eventually not be allowed anymore in an Equal Money System as it is used today purely for denying ones self-responsibility and to make excuses, and a lot of accidents and family abuse happens because of it. Alcohol is not best for all in no way what so ever and if you cannot live happily without it, you will be helped by professionals that actually care about you and they will assist you in becoming a healthy, trustworthy, equal human being that doesn't need drugs to be "happy".

So the point is that we will learn how to be equal with children and how to actually listen to them and hear what they are saying and we will learn from them as much as they will from us "adults". Not like today, when parents enforce their beliefs onto their children no matter what, as they are afraid that a child won't survive if they don't do so. This is completely unacceptable. So, this is the time where we can all look at ourselves in self-honesty and see if we act as superior when we are with children or do we act as their equals? If you believe that you have to be superior in order to enforce what you believe is right onto them, then of course you will be scared of the idea of treating your children as your equals, and you will probably even see this as if your children will be the boss. So, in this case you obviously fear that you won't be able to control your children which leads to abuse anyways because your starting point is control and domination, instead of equality, where you teach your kids by being a practical example to them. When money is not a problem, we will all have a lot of time to raise the children and learn how to do it in a way that is Best for All.

So, start dealing with your fears right now (we have a lot of tools to help you with), because in an Equal Money System your children will be as much of a boss to you as you will be to them, because no abuse will be tolerated and if a problem will occur where it will be obvious that you are incapable of treating your children with equal dignity, an intervention will happen and you will be assisted to make the necessary self-corrections that need to be done, so that you will know and understand how to raise your children without abuse. This is what is best for all and this is what everyone of us would want if our parents would abuse us as children.

2010 - Equal Money System

The Equal Money System is a support system that derives from a single principle, that is also a fact, that we are all as one as equal as Life. That implies that if we do not treat each other equally in all ways, we live in a delusion. How hard is that to realize? Now take a good and thorough look at what exactly it is in your mind that prevents you, personally, to admit such a fact? Is it your ego? Would you like to be more than others? Or do you feel less than others and accept that as your reality? Do you self-honestly accept inequality as your limitation, as what you stand for and believe in? Why would you oppose a system where each individual is treated equally in oneness as Life? I mean if you do, than that states that you are obviously not equal to Life, because all Life is the same. All Life is equal to Life. Value of Life is Life. Is it that you would rather be something special = more than Life, or would you rather be something limited = less than Life? In both cases you can easily forgive yourself for such thoughts of delusion and spiritual diarrhea and take self-responsibility as Life. Or is it FEAR that controls you? What do you fear? Do you fear your-self? Everything is about self. Do you fear of losing your self? Or do you fear losing your advantaged position of power, luxury, fame and sex? If you fear of losing yourself you live in a delusion. Explore Desteni and you will be assisted in realizing why one can never lose self. But if you fear losing your privileged position - you have a problem. Again, self-forgiveness, self-responsibility. You can only fear losing something that was never really yours, but you made it yours and yours only. You lied, manipulated, cheated and not shared, to make it yours. And exactly because of your spitefulness towards others, not willing to consider everyone as one as equal as you as Life, you will lose everything. It is inevitable. Delusions never last. That's why they are delusions. Only what is real stands the test of time. Are you real?

No one can define you in any way what so ever. You and you alone are responsible for every thought, fear, emotion, feeling and action that you do and experience. What is your principle? Who are you? Are you Life? Or do you hate Life? Do you define yourself as 'less that'? Explore Desteni and you will be assisted into self-responsibility and equality as Life. Do you want to be 'more than' and abuse? Explore Desteni and you will be assisted into self-responsibility and equality as Life. Don't want to? Then state that clearly so that we don't waste our time with you. But even if you don't care, you decide in each and every moment who you are. Every day is your judgment day. More we wait, more fucked up we get. I have decided. At death it is too late. Ignorance, waiting and not acting also states who you are = unwilling to take self-responsibility to stand as one and equal as Life and do what is best for all Life. I will die well, how will you die?