Day 91 - The secret wish for arousing pictures

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hold on to the desire of secretly looking at women in order to experience the energy of arousal, attraction and desire.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to wish/want/desire to secretly look at women in order to create arousing energy within myself that I could use for an orgasm during masturbation or sex.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to let go of the wish/want/desire to look at women just to create a sexual energy inside myself.

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to realize and understand that I am with this abusing women for my energetic self-interest where I judge and compare them and only see them as sexual objects instead of living beings. When and as I see myself wishing/wanting/desiring to secretly look at woman for energy - I stop and breathe. I realize and understand that I with this allow abuse where I only see women as sexual object and pictures instead of real living beings. Therefore I commit myself to no more accept and allow myself to look or wish/want/desire to look at woman secretly in order to create energies of arousal.