Day 88 - Allowing myself to be patient with myself

Day 87 is in Slovene.

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to slow down and breathe whenever I create, experience a resistance, depression, repulsion, negativity within and as me towards a specific activity, thought. When and as I see myself experiencing resistance, depression, repulsion, negativity towards a specific activity, thought - I stop and breathe. I stabilize myself with breathing and I apply self-forgiveness on the thoughts I see coming up within me. I commit myself to gently move myself within the physical, while being aware of my breath, to work on/go through the planned activity and to apply self-forgiveness and slow down whenever I start creating resistances or experience too-muchness.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define, perceive the activities that have to be done and are mandatory as negative, boring and within this I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to create resistance, repulsion, negativity within myself towards such activities. I realize and understand that this is the negative side/polarity of my mind construct where I on the other hand define activities that are not mandatory, repetitive and that don't require thinking, memorizing, logic, data/information filtering or heavy and long physical work as fun and interesting. Thus I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define such activities as positive, interesting, fun and I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to create a positive experience, feeling within and as myself towards them. I commit myself to stop the polarity of good, positive, fun experiences, definitions and also the bad, negative, resistance, repulsion experiences within myself and to instead breath and direct myself here as the physical.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to go into thinking whenever I do not understand, remember, know how exactly I should do an exercise where I go into my mind and start looking for a solution and then create resistance, nervousness. I realize and understand that whenever I get stuck, don't know what to do, how to do something, I have to slow myself down and breathe and not go into paranoid thinking and searching for all the possibilities within my mind as quickly as possible as I will with this only create more nervousness, resistance and confusion for myself. I commit myself to within such situations slow down and breathe and follow the first practical, common sense direction, solution that comes up and then stick to that within breath and not think about all the other possibilities while I direct myself as I will with this only distract and confuse myself.

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to give myself enough time to do my activities.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to put the time restriction and the pressure of doing it quickly and 'in time' when I do an activity. When and as I see myself thinking, creating a perceived time limit and with this time pressure within myself - I stop and breathe. I realize and understand that by creating time restriction for myself I only create nervousness and stress for myself where I want to do an activity as quickly as possible, instead of focusing on the activity itself and on what is here. Therefore I commit myself to not wish/want/desire to finish with an activity as quickly as possible but to instead focus on breath and what is here and on the activity itself and I commit myself to give myself time and move/direct myself slowly in the breath.

I forgive myself that I hadn't accepted and allowed myself to be patient, tolerant and gentle with myself.

I forgive myself that I hadn't accepted and allowed myself to move slowly and within the breath.

I forgive myself that I hadn't accepted and allowed myself to slow down my thoughts, my mind.

I forgive myself that I hadn't accepted and allowed myself to look at my thoughts with patience.

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to wish/want/desire to look through all my thoughts and patterns as quickly as possible and remove them as quickly as possible, instead of slowing myself down and looking at them one by one while breathing.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to make myself believe that looking at each and every thought and pattern is too slow and that it will take too long for me to remove them and go through all of them in this way. I realize and understand that slowing myself down with breathing and allowing myself to look at my every thought slowly, is the only way that I can see, realize and understand my mind and how it works and how I create(d) the patterns, so that I can remove, delete them and correct them/myself within common sense and what is best for all. I commit myself to always slow myself down with breath and be patient with myself and to allow myself to look at all my thoughts and patterns slowly while breathing and being here so that I can see the patterns, thoughts, reactions that come up and remove them with self-forgiveness.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that writing out my patterns and mind constructs every day is not effective enough and to within this create resistance and repulsion towards writing so that I could avoid it and blame my resistance, negative experience for it. I realize and understand that the only effective way for me to get to know my mind and my patterns is to be patient with myself and write them out every day so that I can see them and remove them and correct myself and make myself a better and more effective being within common sense and what is best for all. I commit myself to accept and allow myself to be patient and gentle with myself within writing out my mind patterns every day.

I realize and understand that the things I do for myself as Life to be better, more effective and free from the mind patterns and energetic addictions will stay with me and I realize and understand that only I can make myself better, more effective, less addicted and limited and that this 'who I am as Life' as I create myself is the only real thing about me that matters as everything else is not me and will not last as it is just energetic mind patterns. I commit myself to remind myself with every breath that the real me as Life is me here in the physical in breath, without any thoughts and energetic reactions, feelings, emotions and that I can only be here as me as Life when I direct myself in breath within common sense and what is best for all, without accepting and allowing myself to be influenced and directed by my mind as thoughts, feelings emotions, fears, resistances, desires...

2011 - Stop mind possession with self-aware breathing

Yesterday while I was at work I allowed myself to use my mind to entertain myself which is a bad idea. It started with the thought that it is Friday which I connected with fun and excitement so I allowed myself to experience this feelings which kind of charged my mind systems even more. Then I allowed myself to think about and imagine a certain thing that I defined interesting and exciting the day before when I saw it in a store. It was a Nintendo 3DS. So the point of it was to experience even more the feeling of excitement. And then the song came up: Land Down Under (I'm listening to it right now, lol). I started to sing it in my mind and then I couldn't stop and I really started to get on my nerve, lol. I wanted to stop but after a while I just automatically began to sing it again and then I got irritated even more, lol. I was really feeling possessed by the power of my own mind and it was a bit scary. But then I remembered this great tool that one also learns in Desteni'I'Process which is 4-count breathing. Anyways the thing is that one focuses on ones own breathing and by doing this with awareness one can stop the mind completely. So this is what I did and it is really effective. I just focused on the breath and I stopped the mind. It is important that one always stays here in the physical with the awareness of ones own breathing because otherwise one just gets completely possessed by the mind by ones own acceptance and allowance. Make sure you never possess yourself with the mind because you'll design your own imaginary nightmare and go mad. The best way to make sure how to live effectively without all the mind crap is to join the Desteni'I'Process where you get all the support about the practical application of self-honesty living and doing what's best for all at all times. Have a look at the web-page, you'll get all the info there. I'm doing the course and it's the best there is.

2011 - No time? Make your time with breath!

Sometimes I find myself in a situation where there is so much to do that I don't even know where to start or what to do next. Then I think about it and worry how am I going to do it all and then I feel sorry for myself and do all sorts of unnecessary mind-thinking activities.

But the solution to this is simple. First, I realize that things that need to be done need to be done anyways, if I worry about them or not, so why worry at all? I stop all the thoughts, worries and I focus on the physical here-now moment and my breath. Breathing and being physically here in the moment, without thoughts, is all I need to do to get all the time in the world that I need. I realized that obviously I cannot do everything at once because I only exist one breath at a time, which means I can only do what I can in one breath. But that is enough. So if things seem complicated I just write all the tasks I need to do and I arrange them in order of importance. In that way I cannot forget about something so no worries needed. Then I just start doing the tasks one at the time, staying here in the breath in the physical, with no worries or future projections, fears etc. This way I'm as effective as I can be and I know that I'm doing all I can because I don't waste my time with thinking and worrying. So in any case, even if I don't finish all the tasks I wanted to, I don't worry about it at all! Because I know that I did all I physically, practically could, breath by breath. There are only so many breaths in a day so why worry about something that couldn't be done in one day (for example) anyways?

I realized that 'having no time' is no more than an illusion perceived through the mind when we try to do more than we can in one breath. Thus, if I always stay here, breathing, in the moment in the physical, I will never experience the 'lack of time' because time does not exist in the here-moment of breath. It is just me with all the time I could ever want.