I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to be afraid of talking to a person that is considered as higher authority. I will not be afraid of talking to anyone because we are all one and equal. I will not define myself as more or less than anyone else because that is self-deception.
I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to be afraid of not knowing the correct answer.
I will not be afraid of stating that I do not know the right answer.
I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to be afraid of not knowing what/how to answer.
I will not be afraid to state that I do no know what/how to answer.
I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to be afraid of not understanding what someone wants/demands from me.
I will not be afraid of asking questions if I do not understand.
I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to be afraid of not having the skill to do what someone demands from me.
I will not be afraid of stating clearly that I do not know how to do things I have no experience with and I will not blame myself because of it.
I will not blame myself for anything I do not know or understand or have no experience with because that is who I am here in the breath an I accept myself as who I am as one and equal with all that is here.
Saturday, July 24, 2010
Monday, July 12, 2010
2010 - Making a Vlog
I am trying (that's the problem right there:) to make my personal Vlog (video log) for a week or so now and I still didn't do it. Every time I try I find some excuse why not to. Like I don't have anything interesting to say. But the truth is I have big mindfucks about it. Like I fear that people will judge me and that I will be humiliated. Also I don't like to watch my-self because I don't like the way I look. I think I am funny and strange. I have to write some self-forgiveness about it.
I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to fear the judgement of others. I will not judge myself and I will not judge others. I will not fear judgement and I will not allow to judge myself because I am here in the breath and I accept me as me as who I am as I accept all as me as what I am equal to. I am one and equal in every breath.
I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to judge my-self. I accept myself here in the breath as me as who I am as I accept all that is here as me as what I am equal to. I am one and equal in every breath.
I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to judge the way I look. I accept myself here in the breath as me as who I am in all ways as I accept everything that is here in the physical as me as what I am equal to. I am one and equal in every breath.
I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to define myself as funny and strange and ugly. I will not define myself because I am already here in the breath as one and equal with what is here in the physical. I am one and equal with the physical in every breath.
I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to be afraid of humiliation. I will not be afraid of humiliation because it is always self-humiliation. I will not allow humiliation in me and as me.
I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to be afraid of exposing myself the way I am. I will not be afraid of exposing my-self as me as what I am here in the breath because I accept my-self as me as what I am here in the breath as one and equal to what is here in the physical.
I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to fear what others may think of me. I will not fear what others may think of me because I accept my-self as me as who I am here in the breath in the physical as one and equal to what is here. What others think in their minds is not here in the physical in every breath and therefore is not real and not important.
I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to be afraid of what others may say about me. I will not be afraid of what others may say about me because I accept me as me as who I am here in the breath in the physical as one and equal to what is here in the physical in every breath because that is who I am. I will not be afraid of others judgement because judgement is judgement of self.
I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to hide from others. I will not hide from others because I am self-honest in every breath here in the physical as me as who I am and I accept myself as me as who I am here in the physical in every breath unconditionally as one and equal to what is here in the physical.
I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to fear that others will make me feel bad. I will not fear that others will make me feel bad because I am responsible for how I feel and no one else.
I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to want to look good and smart in front of others. I accept me as me as what I am here in the physical in every breath as one and equal to what is here in the physical.
I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to define myself as good/bad, smart/stupid, good looking/ugly. I am what I am, one and equal, there is no polarity in being here in the breath. I accept myself as who I am here in the physical in every breath unconditionally.
I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to fear the judgement of others. I will not judge myself and I will not judge others. I will not fear judgement and I will not allow to judge myself because I am here in the breath and I accept me as me as who I am as I accept all as me as what I am equal to. I am one and equal in every breath.
I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to judge my-self. I accept myself here in the breath as me as who I am as I accept all that is here as me as what I am equal to. I am one and equal in every breath.
I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to judge the way I look. I accept myself here in the breath as me as who I am in all ways as I accept everything that is here in the physical as me as what I am equal to. I am one and equal in every breath.
I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to define myself as funny and strange and ugly. I will not define myself because I am already here in the breath as one and equal with what is here in the physical. I am one and equal with the physical in every breath.
I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to be afraid of humiliation. I will not be afraid of humiliation because it is always self-humiliation. I will not allow humiliation in me and as me.
I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to be afraid of exposing myself the way I am. I will not be afraid of exposing my-self as me as what I am here in the breath because I accept my-self as me as what I am here in the breath as one and equal to what is here in the physical.
I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to fear what others may think of me. I will not fear what others may think of me because I accept my-self as me as who I am here in the breath in the physical as one and equal to what is here. What others think in their minds is not here in the physical in every breath and therefore is not real and not important.
I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to be afraid of what others may say about me. I will not be afraid of what others may say about me because I accept me as me as who I am here in the breath in the physical as one and equal to what is here in the physical in every breath because that is who I am. I will not be afraid of others judgement because judgement is judgement of self.
I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to hide from others. I will not hide from others because I am self-honest in every breath here in the physical as me as who I am and I accept myself as me as who I am here in the physical in every breath unconditionally as one and equal to what is here in the physical.
I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to fear that others will make me feel bad. I will not fear that others will make me feel bad because I am responsible for how I feel and no one else.
I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to want to look good and smart in front of others. I accept me as me as what I am here in the physical in every breath as one and equal to what is here in the physical.
I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to define myself as good/bad, smart/stupid, good looking/ugly. I am what I am, one and equal, there is no polarity in being here in the breath. I accept myself as who I am here in the physical in every breath unconditionally.
Saturday, July 10, 2010
2010 - Stopping addictions
I don't smoke, I already stopped drinking alcohol and now I've decided to also stop the addiction to sugar and sweets. I noticed that often I eat chocolate or similar although I'm not hungry. Sometimes I feel that I already ate too much sugar but I still eat it automatically not realizing it like a true robot, lol. I obviously programmed it as a habit into my mind and it's not supportive at all. So I'll stop eating sugar for 21 days (it seams to be the universal number for breaking a habit and becoming aware of self :) to stop the habit and to start being aware of what I eat and why.
Tuesday, July 6, 2010
2010 - Shaving my head for equality
In January 2010 I've joined the SRAT (structural resonance alignment training) course prepared by Desteni for those that are serious about standing up for all life. Also at that time a new website was created called Face World Face Off.
Anyways at that point I also decided to shave my head and in that prove to my-self that I am not just standing up in my mind but also in the physical, because the mind is not real. It is very important that we realize that we are enslaved to our mind and our feelings/emotions because we accepted and allowed them to guide us in the physical and in that we neglected what is real = the physical. We became egoists = mind possessed robots who follow only our own mind and thoughts, believing that we are our mind. And because of that we abuse everything around us and ourselves just to satisfy our mind(fucks) instead of living in the physical, doing what is best for all in practicality. We have to stop our minds because otherwise we will be disregarded by the physical and the whole existence and simply cease to exist.
So when my girlfriend/agreement shaved my head I felt good, like when you know you are doing the right thing, because I was starting to get rid of my ego and also stopped supporting the hair industry that pollutes the earth and water only because we are self-dishonest and want to look good to get sex...
But I didn't get rid of that mind construct simply like that because soon after shaving I realized that the back of my head is not symmetrical and then all the mind crap started. So I had to look at all the thoughts going through my head about it in self-honesty and forgive my-self for accepting and allowing them in me and as me. Then I had to walk through the mind-fucks in real time, not allowing them to re-appear ever again. It's actually quite simple when you write a mind construct on paper and see it in front of you because then you realize it instantaneously when you get it and can thus ignore it, just let it go by and eventually it stops altogether.
I'll share bellow the Ranting&Raving of my mind I made in the context of the mind-fuck I got about my unsymmetrical head. LoL, It's quite funny when you write down all your thoughts because only then it gets really obvious how stupid and unnecessary they are and how we are controlled by them.
---R&R on shaved head---
When I shaved my head I noticed that the back of my skull isn’t symmetric. The right side was more flat than the left. I didn’t bother. Then in the next days, when I looked myself in the mirror I always noticed that and it started to bother me. I was like why is my head like that? Why don’t I have a normal head? I didn’t like it. It is ugly. It doesn’t look nice. If I think it’s not nice then there must be others that think that way. I don’t want people to think my head is strange and bad looking. I don’t want girls to think that way! I don’t want to be ugly. I want girls to find me good looking. Why do I always have to deal with shit like that? When I was a teen I got a vein tumor on my left cheek and I had it for a few years before they managed to remove it permanently. So during that time I was weird. I didn’t want the girls to see me that way. Besides my ears were funny, I walked strangely (X style lol), I have very deep collarbone, my male organ is not big enough and so on and on… I felt like someone is making fun out of me by designing my body that way. Then I went to thoughts like I don’t care what others think of me. If I didn’t care as much before why should I now? I don’t care but I still don’t think my head is nice. I would like it to be symmetric and if I can do something about it I will. It’s because of me, not because of others. I don’t care what others say. If I corrected my strange walking why shouldn’t I correct my unsymmetrical head by leaving just enough hair to hide it? It will look much nicer to me and I won’t feel like someone is making fun out of me every time I look myself in the mirror. Besides I only use natural soap to wash myself so I still won’t be using any hair products. Everyone wins. Isn’t that a nice compromise? No that is my ego judging the way I look. I’ll shave my head again and keep it that way until I die! Fuck you mindfucks! Now I’m a bit angry that I judge myself. (My throat hurts a bit so as resonances explained I’m not specific enough somewhere.)
I also want to look appealing to the girls because I would like to meat as many as I can and be completely self honest with them in expression. It’s not just about sex. Sure I’d like to try it out because I only had sex with my girlfriend so far. And I always dreamed about having sex with a girl that has a perfect body because that’s most arousing. But that’s not the point. I feel like I’ve missed the fun times other had when I was a teen because I was shy and scared of exposing me or humiliating me in front of others. So I want to do that now and meet self honest girls and share my process with them and support them and have fun with them. I still like my girlfriend very much but I feel like restricting me just to her is not enough and not fair. Before we got together she had lots of fun with boys so why can’t I do it now and as I go do my process as well? When she talks about her experiences (mostly sexual) I always feel jealous. I want to be that free as well. I want to have fun with anyone I want and do my process and be in an agreement with my girlfriend. Now is that some egoism or what. (My throat still hurts.)
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Anyways at that point I also decided to shave my head and in that prove to my-self that I am not just standing up in my mind but also in the physical, because the mind is not real. It is very important that we realize that we are enslaved to our mind and our feelings/emotions because we accepted and allowed them to guide us in the physical and in that we neglected what is real = the physical. We became egoists = mind possessed robots who follow only our own mind and thoughts, believing that we are our mind. And because of that we abuse everything around us and ourselves just to satisfy our mind(fucks) instead of living in the physical, doing what is best for all in practicality. We have to stop our minds because otherwise we will be disregarded by the physical and the whole existence and simply cease to exist.
So when my girlfriend/agreement shaved my head I felt good, like when you know you are doing the right thing, because I was starting to get rid of my ego and also stopped supporting the hair industry that pollutes the earth and water only because we are self-dishonest and want to look good to get sex...
But I didn't get rid of that mind construct simply like that because soon after shaving I realized that the back of my head is not symmetrical and then all the mind crap started. So I had to look at all the thoughts going through my head about it in self-honesty and forgive my-self for accepting and allowing them in me and as me. Then I had to walk through the mind-fucks in real time, not allowing them to re-appear ever again. It's actually quite simple when you write a mind construct on paper and see it in front of you because then you realize it instantaneously when you get it and can thus ignore it, just let it go by and eventually it stops altogether.
I'll share bellow the Ranting&Raving of my mind I made in the context of the mind-fuck I got about my unsymmetrical head. LoL, It's quite funny when you write down all your thoughts because only then it gets really obvious how stupid and unnecessary they are and how we are controlled by them.
---R&R on shaved head---
When I shaved my head I noticed that the back of my skull isn’t symmetric. The right side was more flat than the left. I didn’t bother. Then in the next days, when I looked myself in the mirror I always noticed that and it started to bother me. I was like why is my head like that? Why don’t I have a normal head? I didn’t like it. It is ugly. It doesn’t look nice. If I think it’s not nice then there must be others that think that way. I don’t want people to think my head is strange and bad looking. I don’t want girls to think that way! I don’t want to be ugly. I want girls to find me good looking. Why do I always have to deal with shit like that? When I was a teen I got a vein tumor on my left cheek and I had it for a few years before they managed to remove it permanently. So during that time I was weird. I didn’t want the girls to see me that way. Besides my ears were funny, I walked strangely (X style lol), I have very deep collarbone, my male organ is not big enough and so on and on… I felt like someone is making fun out of me by designing my body that way. Then I went to thoughts like I don’t care what others think of me. If I didn’t care as much before why should I now? I don’t care but I still don’t think my head is nice. I would like it to be symmetric and if I can do something about it I will. It’s because of me, not because of others. I don’t care what others say. If I corrected my strange walking why shouldn’t I correct my unsymmetrical head by leaving just enough hair to hide it? It will look much nicer to me and I won’t feel like someone is making fun out of me every time I look myself in the mirror. Besides I only use natural soap to wash myself so I still won’t be using any hair products. Everyone wins. Isn’t that a nice compromise? No that is my ego judging the way I look. I’ll shave my head again and keep it that way until I die! Fuck you mindfucks! Now I’m a bit angry that I judge myself. (My throat hurts a bit so as resonances explained I’m not specific enough somewhere.)
I also want to look appealing to the girls because I would like to meat as many as I can and be completely self honest with them in expression. It’s not just about sex. Sure I’d like to try it out because I only had sex with my girlfriend so far. And I always dreamed about having sex with a girl that has a perfect body because that’s most arousing. But that’s not the point. I feel like I’ve missed the fun times other had when I was a teen because I was shy and scared of exposing me or humiliating me in front of others. So I want to do that now and meet self honest girls and share my process with them and support them and have fun with them. I still like my girlfriend very much but I feel like restricting me just to her is not enough and not fair. Before we got together she had lots of fun with boys so why can’t I do it now and as I go do my process as well? When she talks about her experiences (mostly sexual) I always feel jealous. I want to be that free as well. I want to have fun with anyone I want and do my process and be in an agreement with my girlfriend. Now is that some egoism or what. (My throat still hurts.)
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Monday, July 5, 2010
2010 - Finally I've created my blog
Finally I've created my blog where I will share my process of birthing my-self as life. Let me write something about how I've started with all of this.
I came across Desteni about 2 years ago and I was really fascinated about everything they had to share so I started to explore the videos and everything. I had some doubt about the inter-dimensional portal being real but I focused more on the message anyways and I have to say that it made a lot of sense, especially when I got the whole picture. Now I see that all they share is common sense and practical advice on how to birth yourself as life and stand up for equality and oneness. But everything starts with self-honesty. If you are not able to look at yourself in self-honesty you have a big problem.
And that is what this blog is about. Sharing me and my process in self-honesty so that I can firstly help myself in realizing what I have accepted and allowed in me, as me, so that I can forgive myself for not supporting all life as one as equal and then re-birth my-self as life, where I will stand as one and equal with all life.
I came across Desteni about 2 years ago and I was really fascinated about everything they had to share so I started to explore the videos and everything. I had some doubt about the inter-dimensional portal being real but I focused more on the message anyways and I have to say that it made a lot of sense, especially when I got the whole picture. Now I see that all they share is common sense and practical advice on how to birth yourself as life and stand up for equality and oneness. But everything starts with self-honesty. If you are not able to look at yourself in self-honesty you have a big problem.
And that is what this blog is about. Sharing me and my process in self-honesty so that I can firstly help myself in realizing what I have accepted and allowed in me, as me, so that I can forgive myself for not supporting all life as one as equal and then re-birth my-self as life, where I will stand as one and equal with all life.
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