Day 148 - How words create our world

Talk is cheap, they say, but we create our world and who we are with words. When we think, we use the words in our minds and we somehow believe that what we think about is not significant, because it is not real and no one can see what we think. But thinking words leads to speaking them and speaking is already a physical action, because we have to move and create the sound. Every action has a consequence and we can never really take back what we said, because it was a physical action that has an impact on ourselves and also our surroundings. Thus it is important that we use the words in ways that are supportive for all and not in ways that create abuse or conflict.

Right now we, as human beings, have some problems with how we handle the words. One of this problems is that our words are often not just words with a common meaning. Everyone usually has a somewhat different understanding of the same words that we speak, because we didn't all learn them from the same dictionary and mostly not even from a dictionary, but from listening to other people speaking. Thus we mostly created our meaning, our understanding of the words according to how we perceived every individual word being used in practical examples by our parents and others. Therefore, we often have a problem understanding each other, because the words we used to explain ourselves can have a different meaning in our minds than in someone else's mind. It is important that we are aware of this, because then, when we have a hard time understanding another, we know that we can look at how we defined individual words and make sure that we all understand them in the same way. It happened to me many times that I was talking about a point with another and it looked like at first as if we don't agree with each other, but we actually did, as we were both speaking about the same thing, we just used different words, because we had a different understanding of the same words. Thus, the conflict was in how we defined, perceived and used the words, although we were talking about the same thing. So, it is important that we redefine our words by firstly removing all the definitions, memories and emotional energies that we attached to the words and to then redefine every word in a way that is neutral, which means that we only keep the basic definition of the word that will support us and others when using it. And so with this we will no longer react to the word with emotions. We often do this; we emotionally react to the the words others speak, especially if they put a lot of emotion in the words, because we take it personally. This is the problem that always creates the biggest conflicts in our conversations - when we take the words personally and allow ourselves to get emotional and then abuse others and our surroundings by aggressively and violently channeling this emotional energy out and onto others. No excuse can ever be valid for us being emotional and using this energy to abuse others, by either yelling at them or even getting in a physical fight, because we ourselves are the only ones responsible for the emotional energy that we created within ourselves.

We must always be aware of the fact that speaking words is already an action that has a consequence. Therefore, we must make sure that we use the action of speaking only in a way that is supportive for all. Whenever we speak and create conflict and abuse, we must immediately stop, with self-aware breathing, and deal with our own reactions, emotions and intentions with self-forgiveness and self-correction. The words we think and speak are the words we use to create ourselves and the world around us, thus we can only be responsibly for ourselves and what we do by being responsible for the words we think and speak. If we want to live in a world that is best for all, then we must start by thinking and speaking about it with words that will make it possible.

Day 147 - Reacting to my partner

I went for a walk with my partner and as we were talking, I saw from the voice of my partner that she hides some judgments towards me and to this I reacted by taking it personally, feeling offended and inferior. In that reaction I wanted to show my partner that she is reacting, but I could not do that effectively because I was also reacting myself and so we both fueled the argument for a while before we stopped. Thus I have to write more Self Forgiveness on the point of me reacting to my partner specifically when I see her having judgments towards me. What I see in this is that when I sense judgment / energetic reaction in my partner's voice, I then think about what that is and in this I come up with my own judgments that I have towards myself and so project and believe that this is what my partner thinks and so I take it personally, because I believe my own judgments towards me being inferior.

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to react to my partner's voice with self-judgment, blame and anger when I realized that she is speaking from a point of emotional judgmental reaction.

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to immediately go into self-judgment when I see / perceive that my partner is judging me.

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to feel inferior and believe that I have to defend my equal status when I see / perceive that my partner is judging me. I realize that I am reacting to my partner by judging myself and believing that since my partner is judging me, this means that I have done something wrong and am now inferior and have to defend myself. When and as I see myself reacting to my partner and her reactions with my own reactions of inferiority and the feeling of being offended - I stop and breathe. I commit myself to no more participate in the reaction / emotion of feeling offended when my partner judges me or is angry with me, instead I make sure that I am clear and the I assist my partner with her pattern / reaction of judgment / anger by showing her with my own example how we can remove all the reactions and apply common sense.

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to believe that I have to defend myself in any kind of an argument. I realize that whenever I feel like I should defend myself, this is the point of ego where my mind actually tries to defend itself and exist as it is and not change or remove the pattern. I realize that when I am aware here in the breath with no ego / mind, there is no need for me to defend anything through words because words can only be used to defend one's mind patterns / ego, but nothing physical. Thus whenever I see / realize that I am trying to defend something through words - I stop and breathe. I take notice and realize that I went into a point of ego and that I am trying to defend a mind pattern. Thus I commit myself to in such moment look at what in my mind I am trying to defend and so apply Self Forgiveness on the point and remove the pattern that I believe in and so try to keep as a part of my ego, because I know and understand that I only limit myself with such patterns.

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to immediately go into self judgment when and as I see / realize that I have been participating in an abusive energetic mind pattern, like watching women from the point of desire for sexual arousal. I realize and understand that there is no need for me to go into self judgment or feeling inferior, even when I speak about my patterns with my partner or others and even if/when my partner / another is judgmental towards the pattern that she/he sees in me, because this reactions will never help or change anything. In fact, such reactions are another protective mechanism of the mind where then one focuses one's attention towards this reaction / judgment and makes a big deal out of it, instead of just looking at self in self-honesty and seeing where one works the same way and so removing the pattern, or simply assist another without any judgments / reactions, with one's own practical examples of change, so that another can come to a realization quicker and see how one can change self in a way that is best for all.

Day 146 - Working through the fear of authority

My previous blog is in Slovene.

Today I went to see the director of the firm where I get my scholarship to ask him if I will get it for my final year and if there is any chance for me to work there. I always get nervous in such situations where I perceive that my future is at stake and that I could screw it up and disappoint myself. I already wrote on the point of being scared of having to meet a perceived authority etc. I observed myself again today to see how I still react. Before the meeting a felt the fear an tension coming up in my stomach. I started to apply breathing and I done some SF on the obvious points that came to mind. I noticed that the fear started to rise when I started to think about what am I going to say and which words should I use and how will it look like when I meet the director. I managed to keep the level of fear at a lower level than I usually would, but only when I really directed myself to breathe effectively and I was still nervous. I also felt the adrenaline and how I was unable to stay calm and relaxed, I felt how I got shaky and how my muscles twitched. I have to do more Self Forgiveness on the pattern of going into imagining what to say and what will it look like when I meet someone that I perceive as authority and see if any memories come up in relation to it from my childhood.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to go into imagination where I try to imagine the perfect scenario of what I will say and how I will behave when meeting a person that I perceive as authority, because by doing this I try to avoid what I am scared of - that I will screw up the opportunity for myself to get what I want and so disappoint myself.

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to look at the act of me meeting with someone that I perceive as an authority, as an act of me having to be selfish and making sure that I get what I want from that person. I realize that I am within this having a selfish approach where I consider only what I want for myself and so fear that I will not get it because I project this selfishness onto the other person and as believe / see that I will probably not get what I want, because I see / perceive that the other person is more powerful from the point of having the power to decide what I get and what not or what my future will be.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to approach people that I perceive as an authority from the point of what is best for all, where I would also consider them. In this way I am constructive for both of us where I then do not have to fear that I will loose what I am working towards because there is no real reason that I would, as long as what I want is best for me and another - thus best for all - except if another person only works in selfishness, in which case I would not be able to work with this person in the way that is best for both of us and best for all anyway.

When and as I see myself going into imagination about what should I say, which words should I use and how should I behave when I am about to meet a person that I perceive as an authority - I stop and breathe. I realize that I am with this only creating the pattern of fear and nervousness, because I am within this pattern judging myself by trying to compare different reactions from others to see which outcomes would mean a bigger failure / disappointment for me and so in imagining these failures / disappointments already create the feeling of it and the fear of it as if it already happened. I realize that with this I already create the path for me to actually manifest it - which is unnecessary and self-sabotaging. Therefore I commit myself to immediately stop such thoughts of trying to imagine what I will say or how I will behave. Instead I prepare for the event by clarifying my objective / goal within myself by seeing what I would like to achieve and by also considering others within this goal - and so not making it selfish - where I do not just consider myself in what I want and so do not have to fear of not achieving the goal. And if I do not achieve it, then I could not have anyways, because the other party is not ready to consider or help me with my intentions.

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to go into extensive fear, like the future of my whole life is in my own hands, where I can screw it up by just one words/a> or deed that I will do, when my father confronted me and wanted to know what I think about something or how will I decide on something or what I want to do / be in the future. I realize and understand that in that moment I went into imagination where I tried to imagine all the possibilities and tried to figure out what my father wants to hear so that he will be pleased and will not be angry with me. Therefore I commit myself to no more go into fear when someone asks me about what I think about something, how I will decide on something or what I want to do / be in the future, because I am not helping myself with this and so the fear is pointless and not necessary. Instead I breathe, look at the question and direct myself as the answer that I not only best for me but also best for all. And if I in that moment cannot come up with such an answer I simply admit that I am not clear on it and that I will have to investigate it.

My Declaration of Principle: 5. Self Responsibility

The fifth principle I am committing myself to live by is the principle of Self Responsibility – realizing only I am responsible for what I accept and allow inside of me, my relationships and my outside world and so with this responsibility: only I have the power and ability to change that which I see is compromising who I am, what I live and how this affects others.

What this simply means is that I do not search for excuses for my thoughts, feelings and emotions and actions or situations that I am in, because by blaming others for it, I take the power to change away from myself. Therefore, by taking Self Responsibility, I direct myself to look at the causes of my thoughts, emotional reactions and behaviors and habits and look at myself in self-honesty to see, how I can change myself and become a more effective human being, how I can be a practical example of how anyone can change self and start living according to the principle "do not do unto others what you do not want to be done onto you". I do this practically through writing, applying self-forgiveness and self-application, where I first see and realize how I can change and then actually do it in real life.

It is so simple, but often we do not want to hear about it - Self Responsibility - because we often don't want to direct ourselves and make responsible decisions. We would much rather "go with the flow", which basically means that we would just like to follow our desires for good feelings and avoid everything where we feel bad. But the fact is that we create these feelings, both good and bad, and so as long as we have these feelings that we subdue ourselves to, we do not have any freedom of choice. We like to say that we want to do something because it is our freedom of choice, while in fact we want to follow our feelings and emotions, because if we would not, we would feel bad. But his means that we have no real freedom of choice as long as we allow our feelings to direct us! Therefore, it is important to see and realize that we ourselves create our own feelings and emotions that we then subdue ourselves to, therefore abdicating our responsibility to make decision that are best for all. This way we abuse others as we do not consider the abusive consequences of our selfish actions that are based on feelings and emotions. This is not acceptable. Therefore, taking full self-responsibility for our thoughts, emotions and feelings and actions is very important if we want to free ourselves from our own self-abuse.

When we become Self Responsible and take our future into our own hands, we become more stable, calm and response-able, no matter what is going on in our lives. This way we also create Self Trust, where we become certain that we will always do our best to deal with any problems that we face and so resolve them not only in a way that is best for ourselves, but in a way that is best for all. This is how we then expand ourselves to not only stop at ourselves when our life is stable, but to also actively participate in the world and with others in stopping and removing the abuse of Life and other problems that we have on Earth, because we realize and understand that this is what is best for all and so best for ourselves, because this way we make sure that we treat all others the same way as we would like to be treated- And so we are doing our part in creating a world that is best for all. This is what Self Responsibility actually is.

Follow this link to see the full list of principles I am committing myself to live by.

My Declaration of Principle: 4. Self Purification through Writing, Self Forgiveness and Self Application

The fourth principle I am committing myself to is the action of realizing that I am responsible for my own thoughts, words and deeds, to forgive myself for transgressions and change myself to ensure I take responsibility for who, what and how I am and through this know that I can trust myself to always be honest with me and so with others.

In order to change myself and become a human being that can stand as an example of a being that directs oneself according to what is best for all, I have to first get to know myself well, so that I can identify all the reasons for my abusive thoughts and behavior. This way, I can effectively remove the causes and the starting points within me, through which I create and allow abuse to exist in our world, and so change myself, my thoughts and my behavior in a way that is best for all of us. This is a process and it is done through writing. This is one of the main reasons why I am writing this blog, but I am also writing and working with my patterns in private and through working on the lessons of the Desteni'I'Process, that are designed to help one become effective in recognizing the patterns of one's mind. When we know how our own mind works and why, we empower ourselves to understand how we can change ourselves and become a better being and how to align ourselves with common sense and what is best for all.

Self Forgiveness is a great tool that is helping me the most with removing my emotional reactions, traumas and 'the luggage from the past' that starts to pile up as we grow up and that we all as humans carry with us, because since now we never really realized how to remove it an simply live here in every breath. It is such a relief to have a tool like this, that enables one to start living without all the emotional burdens, habits and behavioral patterns that we know are not really beneficial to us and our bodies. We have a lot of thought, emotional and behavioral patterns that we are often not even really aware of anymore, since we are thought to automatically suppress them, instead of deal with them and resolve them. Seeing now how effective this tool is and how much I have already helped myself with it to become less self-limited, I realize that it is best for all to also teach this to our children and show everyone how we can all benefit from using it and applying it through Self Application.

The most important thing in the end is always Self Application, how we apply in practice what we have realized about ourselves and the world. This is a process of practicing observing oneself and being aware of oneself in every breath, as this enables one to change one's habits in real time in the physical world. Through this we actually change for real, according to what we realized, and so we start to act in ways that do not create harm and abuse, instead we see how we can support All Life and free ourselves and those around us from misery and pain.

I am applying this principle every day, even when I am not writing. Through time and after some practice, one creates the habit of observing self in self-honesty and applying self-forgiveness on the points through which one sees one limits myself and/or creates abuse. Through this, one can make sure that the habits one develops are not just good for oneself, but most importantly, good for all Life. Because what is best for all is best for me as well.

Follow this link to see the full list of principles I am committing myself to live by.

My Declaration of Principle: 3. Living by the principle of self honesty

This is the most important principle in anyone's life, because self-honesty is a required precondition that enables one to see self as one really is and so the world as it really is. Without this principle, any meaningful change of self into an effective living being is impossible, because one is not able to see, realize and understand the real causes for ones behavior, emotions and thoughts within self and consequently, one also cannot realize the real causes for the problems that we see in the world. There is also a huge difference between honesty and self-honesty. We are honest when we speak openly to others about our thoughts, emotions and actions, about our intentions. But if we are not self-honest, then we don't really understand where are all our emotions, thoughts and intentions cumming from and why. When we are not self-honest, we don't see, realize and understand the real causes for our behavior and our state of beingness and so we also to not see, realize and understand the real causes for the state of the world and the problems that we have in this world. But what is most unacceptable is that, when we are not self-honest, we do not see, realize and understand how we ourselves have to change self in our thoughts and actions in order to solve the problems that we have in this world and stand as an effective solution that is best for all. Thus the principle of always being honest with self is always of the most importance.

I am directing myself to practice this principle of self-honesty every day in every breath. This means that I look at my thoughts, feelings and emotions and actions and get to see, realize and understand how I work, why am I the way I am and how do I have to practically change in order to become an effective human being, that stands as an example of how we humans can actually change our 'nature', the 'who we are' and decide to be, and become a force that does not allow abuse of life, but only what is best for All Life.

Through applying self-honesty, I have stopped drinking alcohol, because I realized what the actual effects of it are and why am I really drinking it. It was to run away from self and so because I knew that I can change and how to practically do it - I did it and stopped drinking alcohol, because I had no need for it anymore.

Through self-honesty I already realized many things. One of them being that I have to stand as an example of how every human can change and so how we can all together change and create a world that is Best for All. I realized that as long as there is any abuse of Life on Earth, the only meaningful and most important thing in my life or in life of any other being is to make sure to stop it, correct it and help to create a world that is best for all, because this is the only way that we can all make sure that we will never be abused and that everyone will have a dignified life that all can enjoy.

There is still very little self-honesty among people in this world and the result of it can be clearly seen everywhere in suffering and abuse of Life. This is not acceptable. We usually look at self-honesty as something frightening, because our mind doesn't want to face the facts, we often don't want to be completely responsible for ourselves, because it is so easy to go into one's mind / imagination and to let one's feelings and emotions to guide self, instead of self being self-responsible and directing oneself according to what is best for all. We see this the latter as hard and come up with tons of excuses of why we would rather not deal with self-honesty and just look away, like when we see a homeless person on the street. "Not my problem! It's his/hers own fault! Thank god I have my job!". Well, what if you were the homeless person or the one that is abuse? The one who no-one wants to help? In self-honesty, we put ourselves into the shoes of others and we treat others the same way we would like to be treated if we were in their place. Such behavior is not hard. It is much harder to look away and feel bad about it then to simply take self-responsibility to work on solutions that are best for all. Then one doesn't have to feel bad about anything anymore, because one is self-honest.

But we cannot just become self-honest in one moment and from that moment on do everything right and according to what is best for all, because it is a process of getting to know oneself in self-honesty through writing and observing self and then realizing how self must change. Then we can actually practice this change and in the end we actually become the change that we realized is best for all. This is why I am writing this blog and using the tools of self-forgiveness and others. This blog is a statement of my personal process and change that I am going through by applying self-honesty. I invite you to join me and many others in walking the process of self-honesty and self-change. Because after all, this IS what is BEST for ALL and what we all have to do in order to stop living in misery.

Follow this link to see the full list of principles I am committing myself to live by.

My Declaration of Principle: 2. Living by the principle of what is best for all

The second principle I am commuting myself to live by is the principle of what is best for all. People mostly have a problem understanding what this means, many even think that living such a principle is impossible. This is because most of the people almost never consider what is best for all and only work according to what is best for themselves or their loved ones, while mostly disregarding the negative consequences that others must experience because of such behavior. So, to better explain this principle of what is best for all, we can also explain ti this way: it is a principle of not doing onto another what we wouldn't want to be done onto ourselves. It is a principle of - if it is not good for everyone, it is no good at all.

We can only work according to this principle of what is best for all, when we remove our personal desires, wishes and wants that are irrational - meaning - we removed the desires that are attached to specific emotions and feelings. We remove the idea that our desires are more relevant than the rational requirements that we all as people have for being able to live a dignified life. To make it really simple: If I own 10 houses that are mostly empty - out of my desire to have the most amount of money and power and luxury - while there are at the same time homeless people in my country - then my desire is irrational and not according to what is best for all, because I am preventing fellow human beings from having a house to live in and have a dignified life as well. Therefore, the correction that I must make is to remove my desires for irrational power and luxury, by applying self-forgiveness and self-corrective application and thus aligning myself and my intentions to what is best for all, by making sure that I help to implement a solution, where a dignified life for all is guaranteed. This would mean that I would only be entitled to have one house / place I call my home, as long as there are people who still do not have a house. Because to give and gift to all what I would also like for myself is what is best for all, because in this I am equally included. When we live by such a principle, everyone will have a dignified and fun life, where no one will have a problem switching the place / position with anyone else, because we will treat others the same way as we would like to be treated in their place.

Doing what is best for all is basically doing only that which supports All Life and doesn't cause harm and abuse. This concept is not hard to grasp and understand, but we have to apply it practically in every breath and this is where it gets more tricky, because when we look at the specific decisions that we can make, it is often not so clear what the best decision would be. This decision making process requires one to firstly completely remove one's own emotional irrational desires and then one has to look at how to direct oneself, so that one will not limit oneself but live one's utmost potential in a way that will create the most support, not just for self, but for All Life. This is where self-honesty is essential. If we are not self-honest about our desires and about our intentions and make sure that what we do will result in support for all, then we cannot make effective decisions and will only act in self-interest. This means that we will disregard others and how the consequences of our actions and inaction effect others. And this is not acceptable.

One point that I also find important in my decision making process is to be well informed and firstly know what the real situation is, what are the possible solutions that already exist and what the existing relationships are within the system and between the people. This helps me to make a much better decision, because I also take into consideration everything that is outside of myself. In fact, this is the only way one can make decisions that will support all - by knowing the facts. By knowing what already works and what doesn't work, what solutions are already available and what solutions do not really solve anything, because they do not address the real cause of the problem, which mostly lies within ourselves and how we as humans think and behave and create relationships between ourselves. If we create relationships of superiority and inferiority, then we will inevitably create the master-slave relationship, which always leads to abuse and is therefore not acceptable. Anywhere we go today, we can see the master-slave relationship being imposed by people in various ways. The most obvious ones being education or creating an army of men that must follow authority and never question their actions. All this is not acceptable and not what is best for all.

The simplest guidance that I use for myself when directing myself to do what is best for all is to always practice putting myself into the shoes of another and then treating them as I would like to be treated, if I was in their shoes - and to not do onto another what I would not want to be done onto myself.

Follow this link to see the full list of principles I am committing myself to live by.