2011 - Week-end / strong beginning

A few days ago Valentin, Barbi, Vitan, Ajda and me went to the Zeitgeist meeting in Maribor to see how they are doing and if we can assist each other in any way. It was funny since at the beginning there were actually more Destonians at the meeting than Zeitgeisters. In the end we were somewhat equal in number. We had a nice chat, shared perspectives and ideas and more or less concluded that we have similar goals and that we should find a way to assist each other where we can, for example one suggested that when one of us organizes an event we could all be there, presenting both ideas and perspectives and then people could decide where they want to contribute and so forth. Although I see and realize that The Venus project ideas presented through Zeitgeist are not taking into consideration everyone equally and that the very important practical part of taking care of ones own bullshit before trying to change the world are mostly absent and thus their proposals will not solve anything, I am still interested in establishing a connection with them since they are mostly (at least in Slovenia) very open minded for ideas and suggestions on how to make Earth a better place for all. We'll see how it goes and if we can assist each other.

The other meeting Valentin, Barbi and me participated in was much more fascinating to me. We met with a few people who are already doing the process as we call it at Desteni for quite some time now with a help of a kid that is actually a son of one of the man we met. He is able to see the auras or systems of people and objects and he can tell if you are lying and can practically know everything about you and what you accept and allow through mind consciousness system. He doesn't even have to be near you as you can for example send him a picture of you and he can tell what was your aura like at that moment. So they have realized lots of things about the world and people and they shared it with us and I realized that what they discovered is practically the same thing that Desteni is saying. Valentin also wrote something about it so you can also see his blog. I'm not going to talk about the same things. (I think he didn't explain the colors of the auras and their meaning completely right as they explained it to us but that's not important anyway).

So when we were chatting (we [I at least lol] were mostly listening at the beginning), I got this reaction coming up inside me where I get afraid to speak up or put attention onto myself because I fear being laughed at or something, I'm not sure yet and I find it hard to stop this reaction. And it is very annoying since my voice changes and I cant speak normally and my arms start to shake and stuff lol. Bernard said we'll try to deal with this system when Barbi and I come to the farm this summer which is great.
Also at the beginning of our chatting I wasn't sure yet if one of them can maybe also see our auras and know everything about me so I got this OMG feeling like what if they find something about me that even I don't know and then they'll judge me or something and I'll be ashamed, lolol. I'd say they are much more here in the breath as we are since they've been doing it for longer and had better tools to check their progress. It was interesting to me how I accepted and allowed myself to get this mind-fuck although I have nothing to hide from anyone as long as I know they will not abuse what I share lol. So yes, I have to deal with this fear of being abused or ashamed or something.

Meeting with this people was also a kind of confirmation to me that what Desteni presents is real because this people are independent and came to the same conclusions than Desteni. It's like now we have a cross-reference which is great. Everything also seems more real now to me since I met actual physical people who know about things that I only heard before over the Internet. Not that I doubt about the realness of people at Desteni lol, but it is quite a different experience if you can sit with a physical person and talk about these things, not just look at words and pictures on the computer screen. You kind of receive the information with all of your body not just through symbols.

So anyway we decided to meet again and I am looking forward to this since I see a great opportunity in this to support each other and also of course to work together to bring about solutions for this world like the Equal Money System.

In the end they also offered us to take a picture and get a reading from the kid if we want (he was not at the meeting). We didn't do it since we agreed that it's not really relevant and this was cool since we have to do our process by ourselves anyway and so relying on something outside of self is never a good idea. Thus self-honesty and self-corrective application is the way to go and the only way one can prove ones intentions as what is best for all is to stand by this principle at all times and openly share your doings so that everyone can see when you are bullshitting and when not.

Since stating this I'll use this opportunity, lol, to show here to myself and everyone that I failed at porn quite a few times, although I posted quite a few blogs ago that I'm not going to watch anymore.

So now I'm stating here as me to myself that I will never again watch porn and use it for masturbation. (I'm not making this a self defeat statement since someone can force me to watch porn or I can see it unintentionally lol). But the point is, I'm not going to use porn ever again for masturbation / while masturbating. And that's it. No self forgiveness and no nothing because I trust myself to stand by this statement. I realized that sometimes I (or we) just bullshit too much about a simple point. Decide and do it if it's best for all, how hard can it be? I'll see lol.