Tuesday, November 9, 2010

2010 - Avoiding physical touch

Lately Barbi and I decided to stop all little things that are based on and connected to the relationship we were/are in. Like kissing and other energy based actions. She is somewhat more willing/motivated to do this things because I still have a desire to hug/kiss/have sex for orgasm. I often still lose my self-direction in standing here with no mind or energy movement when I am with her. Usually I experience the point of "unfairness" and "inequality" when it comes to sex and other more intimate experiences because most of the people around me have/had more of it than I do. I see myself as "less then".
Also, when being with other women (meaning not with Barbi), I always try to avoid any physical contact because I still get this desire to be intimate with other girls and thus the contact from that point on would not be in equality but from self interest. So because of that I suppress all physical contact to avoid mindfucks and energy movements in me and in that way actually also keep them going because then the desire to be more physical with others comes up.
I was thinking that maybe the best way to deal with this point would be to do self-forgiveness aloud when in such a situation with someone that's willing to assist me in this way.


  1. Thanks Blaž! I got tired of seeing women as sex objects, so I decided to deprogram myself in quite rigorous way. No masturbation, watching videos or even sex, until I reach the ability of seeing any women as as one and equal with me as life.

  2. Blaž, you should share on the forum to recieve some support and assistance.

  3. Too late, I already did that :)