Monday, July 12, 2010

2010 - Making a Vlog

I am trying (that's the problem right there:) to make my personal Vlog (video log) for a week or so now and I still didn't do it. Every time I try I find some excuse why not to. Like I don't have anything interesting to say. But the truth is I have big mindfucks about it. Like I fear that people will judge me and that I will be humiliated. Also I don't like to watch my-self because I don't like the way I look. I think I am funny and strange. I have to write some self-forgiveness about it.



I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to fear the judgement of others. I will not judge myself and I will not judge others. I will not fear judgement and I will not allow to judge myself because I am here in the breath and I accept me as me as who I am as I accept all as me as what I am equal to. I am one and equal in every breath.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to judge my-self. I accept myself here in the breath as me as who I am as I accept all that is here as me as what I am equal to. I am one and equal in every breath.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to judge the way I look. I accept myself here in the breath as me as who I am in all ways as I accept everything that is here in the physical as me as what I am equal to. I am one and equal in every breath.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to define myself as funny and strange and ugly. I will not define myself because I am already here in the breath as one and equal with what is here in the physical. I am one and equal with the physical in every breath.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to be afraid of humiliation. I will not be afraid of humiliation because it is always self-humiliation. I will not allow humiliation in me and as me.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to be afraid of exposing myself the way I am. I will not be afraid of exposing my-self as me as what I am here in the breath because I accept my-self as me as what I am here in the breath as one and equal to what is here in the physical.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to fear what others may think of me. I will not fear what others may think of me because I accept my-self as me as who I am here in the breath in the physical as one and equal to what is here. What others think in their minds is not here in the physical in every breath and therefore is not real and not important.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to be afraid of what others may say about me. I will not be afraid of what others may say about me because I accept me as me as who I am here in the breath in the physical as one and equal to what is here in the physical in every breath because that is who I am. I will not be afraid of others judgement because judgement is judgement of self.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to hide from others. I will not hide from others because I am self-honest in every breath here in the physical as me as who I am and I accept myself as me as who I am here in the physical in every breath unconditionally as one and equal to what is here in the physical.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to fear that others will make me feel bad. I will not fear that others will make me feel bad because I am responsible for how I feel and no one else.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to want to look good and smart in front of others. I accept me as me as what I am here in the physical in every breath as one and equal to what is here in the physical.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to define myself as good/bad, smart/stupid, good looking/ugly. I am what I am, one and equal, there is no polarity in being here in the breath. I accept myself as who I am here in the physical in every breath unconditionally.

2 comments:

  1. cool Blaz, interesting in the video there's still a doubt on wether the SF was effective or not - you walked through the point thus = it was effective - the certainty of being directing yourself comes when you see that you've done it, practically and remaining constant as that standing -

    Cool on the point of 'humiliation' as I had tested out that word in relation to seeing the unconscious stuff coming out when making a video - it is something that seems an inherent fucked up human-thing to fear another as judgment but, by stopping judgment ourselves, judgment from another will simply not be 'accepted' as you don't exist as that point of self-judgment anymore - all projections always come from ourselves, thus we are the origin of them.

    Cool, keep it up with vlogs! it's really assisting.
    thanks

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  2. I had also concerns what others would think and I also find my expression a bit funny, sometimes also considering even to become a clown, but I had to push myself with awareness that what others might thing is their own mind stuff and not my business at all.

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