Day 52 - Wanting others to think good about me

Day 51 is in Slovene

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to wish/want/desire that my friends would think good about me so that I could have them as safety and backup, so that they would accept me and validate me and help me whenever I would perceive myself as unsafe and incapable of helping and supporting myself. When and as I see myself wishing/wanting desiring that my friends would think good about me - I stop and breathe. I realize that I am with this looking for back-doors where I could hide from myself and avoid my self-responsibility to direct myself and deal with myself through writing and self-forgiveness. I commit myself to stop wishing/wanting/desiring my friends to think good about me and like me and instead direct myself in breath.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define 'friend' as someone who I know, like and am familiar with and feel comfortable with and also I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to create a positive experience/feeling of comfort/safety, acceptance/validation withing myself when I am around 'friends', where I then allow this feelings to direct me instead of me directing myself in breath. When and as I see myself defining friends as people who I know, like and am familiar with and feel comfortable with and wish/want/desire to be with them - I stop and breathe. I realize that I am creating a mind polarity where I feel positive when with friends and negative when I am not with them and/or perceive myself as alone, therefore I commit myself to stop wishing/wanting/desiring for the positive experience of safety/acceptance/validation/comfort with my 'friends' as I realize and understand that with this I also create the negative experience of loneliness where I feel negative/sad/depressed/helpless/unwanted when not with them.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to wish/want/desire to validate myself through other people where I would feel positive/better about myself when others think good about me and negative about myself when others think bad about me. When and as I see myself wishing/wanting/desiring to validate myself through other people - I stop and breathe. I realize that I am creating a mind polarity of feeling good about myself when I perceive myself as being accepted/validated by others and bad about myself when I perceive that I am being rejected and not liked by others. I commit myself to stop wishing/wanting/desiring to validate myself through others and direct myself in breath.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to wish/want/desire to show care for others and to please them so that they would think good about me and me back whenever I would need it. When and as I see myself wishing/wanting/desiring to show care for others and please them so that they would like me and think good about me - I stop and breathe. I realize that I am doing this in self-interest and fear of complete self-responsibility and so I commit myself to stop wishing/wanting/desiring to show care for others and please them so that they would like me, instead I direct myself in breath and according to what is best for all.

Day 32 - Sexual Attraction to Pictures

Flat stomachs

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to exist within and as arousal and sexual excitement whenever I see a flat woman's stomach. When and as I see myself going into arousal and sexual excitement when I see a flat woman's stomach – I stop and breathe. I realize that I myself have defined the picture of a flat woman's stomach as sexual and arousing and so I myself am the one who is still accepting and allowing in that moment to get/be aroused and sexually excited, by having the picture of a flat woman's stomach as a trigger point. I commit myself to stop the addiction to sexual energetic excitement through picture stimulation such as the flat woman's stomach.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to use the picture of a flat woman's stomach as an excuse and justification as why I am excited. When and as I see myself using/existing within and as the excuse of 'it is the picture of a flat woman's stomach that got me excited' – I stop and breathe. I realize that I am the one who is still accepting and allowing myself to become/be excited through the excuse/justification that it is a picture of a flat woman's stomach who got me excited. I commit myself to not user external points as an excuse of why I am excited/sexually aroused and why I am the way I am and to direct myself here in the breath to stop energetic addictions through perceived pictures such as a flat woman's stomach.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to exist within and as the desire to touch a flat woman's stomach and get the experience of hitting a jackpot in the way where I would get what I always imagined/wanted/desired through thoughts in my mind. When and as I see myself existing within and as the desire to touch a flat woman's stomach – I stop and breathe. I realize that I exist within this desire as I have given this act of being able to touch a flat woman's stomach a higher value within my mind as a pattern through which I would/could experience the highest possible energetic sexual arousal and orgasm. I commit myself to stop searching/chasing the sexual energetic high/orgasm and stop the pattern of sexual addiction to energy and energetic arousal through pictures/imagination/thoughts and instead create a new pattern where I remain here in the breath and focus on the physical touch without any pictures/thoughts/wishes/desires.

Women figures

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to look and search for 'perfect' women figures whenever I am around women. When and as I see myself looking/searching for 'perfect' women figures – I stop and breathe. I realize that I am through this still accepting and allowing myself to exist within and as the pattern of addiction to sexual energy arousal through pictures. I commit myself to stop looking/searching for ‘perfect’ pictures of women figures by being self-directive in the moment and not intentionally turning my head/eyes towards such pictures but remaining here in the breath, not accepting and allowing myself to be directed by such energies/desires.