Monday, June 30, 2014

Day 151 - The importance of not judging self when looking at self

I came to a great realizations today while watching some very practical and supportive videos on this site:

I realized that I have not been allowing myself to unconditionally experience every emotion and feeling that I have within myself before stopping it / stopping to create it. Thus I have been pushing away from myself many of the emotions and feelings that came up within myself, because when they did, I immediately started to judge them as unacceptable, like "I should not have this feeling", and so I suppressed them and stayed separate from them. Therefore, I didn't really allow myself to experience myself and my emotions / feelings the way I actually have created them in order to see myself for what I really am (allowing), because only after I see and accept myself for what I really am (allowing), only then can I define and see the emotions and feelings and thoughts that I am allowing and so effectively forgive them and so decide to take self-responsibility for them and stop experiencing myself as these emotions, feelings and thoughts, because I have realized that I am only burdening myself with them. And I have seen how I am actually abusing myself with emotions and feelings, with both good and bad emotions and feelings, because I experience all emotions and feelings as energies that are actually burdening and distracting. I don't want to experience any energetic emotions or feelings. And I have seen, for example, how I am actually abusing myself by judging and blaming myself and so creating all these emotions within myself that I actually do not want to experience, instead of unconditionally accepting myself as who I am in every moment as Life.

What is also fascinating to me is that I already knew what I wrote here before, but mostly just as knowledge and information. Now I have really experienced this for myself and so what I am writing is a testament of a real, profound experience / realization that I have never experienced before with such liberating intensity.

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