2010 - Sharing my dreams

#1:
"I left 'my' car parked an when I came back it was gone. I found it in a different place where two Italian guys were trying to start their van by using my cars battery and cables. I couldn't understand why didn't they just ask for help instead of stealing my car and moving it to somewhere else to try and help themselves, lol."

When I looked at my dream I immediately recognized the point. I have defined Italians as robbers and hypocrites because of some experiences I had with them. Very assisting dream :)

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to judge and define Italians as robbers and hypocrites. I do not accept and allow myself to judge and define people according to their nationality or any other way. I stand as life, equal and one with all that is here.

#2:

"I was at my partners house in the living room sitting with her on the bench at the table, her family members were also in the room. Then I realized she is undressed telling me let's have sex. I was like: "Are you for real?" And she asked if something is wrong and I said I don't want to have sex in front of her family members, lol.

The point here is obviously my mindfuck of being naked/having sex in front of other people which is something to forgive but I'm still not going to do it any time soon lol.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be embarrassed when naked if others can see me. I do not accept and allow myself to be embarrassed in front of other people when naked or exposed in any way. I accept me as life as who I am as I accept all as one and equal in every here moment.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be embarrassed of being intimate with someone in front of other people. I do not accept and allow myself to be embarrassed when being intimate with someone if others can see me.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define sex and intimacy as an activity that must be done in secrecy. I do not accept and allow myself to define or do anything in secrecy because I accept myself as all that is here in all ways as one and equal.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define sex and intimacy as something special. I do not accept and allow myself to define sex and intimacy or anything else as special. I am one with all that is here and all is equal.

2010 - Avoiding physical touch

Lately Barbi and I decided to stop all little things that are based on and connected to the relationship we were/are in. Like kissing and other energy based actions. She is somewhat more willing/motivated to do this things because I still have a desire to hug/kiss/have sex for orgasm. I often still lose my self-direction in standing here with no mind or energy movement when I am with her. Usually I experience the point of "unfairness" and "inequality" when it comes to sex and other more intimate experiences because most of the people around me have/had more of it than I do. I see myself as "less then".
Also, when being with other women (meaning not with Barbi), I always try to avoid any physical contact because I still get this desire to be intimate with other girls and thus the contact from that point on would not be in equality but from self interest. So because of that I suppress all physical contact to avoid mindfucks and energy movements in me and in that way actually also keep them going because then the desire to be more physical with others comes up.
I was thinking that maybe the best way to deal with this point would be to do self-forgiveness aloud when in such a situation with someone that's willing to assist me in this way.