Day 266 - Fearing negative reactions from strangers

Today I'll look at the point I've noticed when I attended a tattoo convention for the first time not long ago. I don't know much about tattoos and I had some negative judgments and fears towards. Like, I don't quite understand why would someone want to have a long lasting tattoo, I think even if I had one I would probably not find it interesting anymore after a while, so why make it permanent? I also have concerns that the ink being used is toxic for the body and may cause discomfort or some serious illness later on. But I decided to give myself the opportunity to go to a local tattoo convention and see up close how getting a tattoo looks like and what I might find interesting about it that I didn't see before, but also to stop fearing people with lots of tattoos and stop judging them. I used to see them as more violent, criminal, dangerous, drug abusing. Even if most were inclined to be like this, I would be unnecessarily limiting myself by prejudging them and avoiding them, because I would not allow myself to really get to know each person with tattoos before I make any judgement about them. So this is the correction I am making. But what I noticed while being on the convention is something else:

While walking among the booths where tattoo artists were showing their art and some people got their tattoos made, I noticed I went into a fearful/shy character, where I did not feel relaxed and rather avoided speaking to the artists and asking them questions, because I felt like I know so little about the art of tattoo making that whatever I would ask or say, I would look stupid and everyone would know that I am a "noob", someone who doesn't know anything about it. I made myself feel inferior and ashamed by simply allowing a few such thoughts to come up in my mind, which cause me to change my behavior and so, because of fear, become very limited in my expression.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear talking with tattoo artists and ask them questions because I feared being see as a noob and judged inferior.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to judge myself as inferior and feel ashamed when I think/perceive that I am a noob who knows nothing about a topic and by doing so, limit myself to not speak and not ask questions and try to shy away, so that nobody would notice that I don't know anything. When and as I see myself avoiding speaking with tattoo artists/people because of judging myself as inferior and feeling ashamed when I think/perceive that I am a noob who know nothing about tattoos/a topic - I stop and breathe. I realize that we are all nescient or ignorant about every topic at some point and that we decide to get to know some things sooner and some later, while other the other way around. So there is no need to judge myself and/or others as inferior for being noobs at something, because I am with this only limiting myself and preventing me from getting to know more about the topic or limit others when judging them as inferior because I give them reasons to feel inferior themselves and so shy away instead of exploring and asking questions. Thus I commit myself to not judge myself as inferior when I notice that I am a noob at something, instead I direct myself to talk with people, ask questions, explore and accept myself as someone who doesn't know and is still learning, without judgement, even if others react to me with superiority, laughter, etc., as I realize and understand that such their reactions only show who they really are and which issues/judgement they have with/within themselves for looking down on someone who knows/understands less than them.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to try and compensate when I know less than someone else by trying to appear smarter than I am through making statements as if I have some idea about what I am talking about, instead of simply admitting to myself that I don't know and so ask questions from this perspective, without trying to hide the fact that I know nothing about the topic I am asking about. Thus I commit myself to admit to myself that I am a noob when I see that I don't know enough or have enough experience to give any definitive statements about a topic and so accept myself as someone who knows nothing or less than others, while still understanding and being aware that this does not make me inferior to others or diminished in any way. Thus there is no point in judging myself as inferior or letting myself feel inferior when others look down on me when I know nothing or less than them about a topic, instead I gift myself the opportunity to ask questions and learn more.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to go into fearful/inferior character when I approach/meet a group of people that I see/perceive as in some way being different than me, because I fear they know things I don't and so judge myself as inferior and feel ashamed if they see I don't know/understand something they do. When and as I see myself going into fearful/inferior character when I approach/meet a group of people that I see/perceive as in some way being different than me - I stop and breathe. I realize that I will always meet people who know something I don't and are in some way different than me and that this does not mean that I am in any way inferior to them. Thus it makes no sense for me to keep judging myself as inferior to them as I understand that even if someone knows very little about anything, he/she is still an equal living being with an equal value than someone who knows a lot and has a lot of experience. Thus I commit myself to approach/meet groups of people that I see/perceive as in some way being different than me with awareness and understanding that no matter what one knows or does, I am still equal to them, because all living beings are equal in value. I also remember that my added value is in understanding the mind and the tools for self help better than most people and that I am able to help others see things about themselves and how to help themselves be who they want.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to go into a self-doubting character when I meet a group of strangers that I would like to develop a supportive relationship with, as if the fact that they behave/think differently in some way invalidates how I behave/think where I then go into self-doubt, instead of accepting myself as I am/what I think in the moment without judgement and then evaluate how others behave/think and see if I can in some way improve myself by learning to do something others already do more effectively than me. Thus I commit myself to be aware that it is most supporting for me to completely accept myself as who I am in the moment when I meet a group of strangers that I would like to develop a supportive relationship with as with this, I allow myself to be self-confident and self-directive, while at the same time being aware of how others act/think, so that I can see when they are more effective than me at something and then learn from them how to improve myself or correct my beliefs that are not aligned with reality.

Day 133 - On my authority problems and "freezing" situation

I have this reaction to perceive authority where I fear the response of the "authority" and consequently "freeze" and become paralyzed because of the fear. I know that this originates from my interactions with my father because I never directed myself effectively in certain situations when this occurred. So I am exploring here the points to self-forgive and correct in order to remove my reaction of fear towards the perceived "authorities".

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to believe that my survival and ability to survive and be effective in this world is dependent on how others perceive me and what others think of me.

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to believe that people with perceived authority over me and experience that I don't have, can completely decide my future in a ways where I am powerless and where I have no influence.

Further I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear such people and to perceive myself as inferior to them when they do not agree with me or support me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that authority over me exists.

I forgive myself that I have NOT accepted and allowed to realize that the only authority over me is me and that I have all the power to decide who I am in relation to others and how I feel and so I can stop all reactions of fear and inferiority/superiority towards others.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear that I will "freeze" in front of other where I will not know / be able to speak coherently and with common sense.

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to go into fear whenever I think of/imagine myself "freezing" in front of others.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think/believe that I must know in advance what and how I am going to say something.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to go into "freeze" and the feeling of fear whenever my father spoke to me / asked me something / demanded something from me in anger/spite/emotion and so allowed myself to be paralyzed by the fear, instead of taking self-responsibility and directing myself in breath with the realization that no one has the authority over me and that no one has the right to hurt me or mock me.

I forgive myself that I have NOT accepted and allowed myself to realize that the same as I do not have the right to mock and judge someone in spitefulness because this is unacceptable abuse, the same way others do not have the right to do so and so I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear that someone will mock / judge me in spitefulness and to believe that I am the "faulty one" when this happens and then feel inferior, instead of realizing that I do not have to take this personally and react back, but simply direct myself in breath and show the person that the way he/she acts in spitefulness is not acceptable.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear that someone will react to me with spitefulness and to fear that I will then go into fear and "freeze". Whenever I see myself fearing that someone will react to me with spitefulness and/or that I will "freeze" - I stop and breathe. I realize that reactions of spitefulness are not acceptable and that I do not have to react to them, therefore I commit myself to in such moments not react or go into fear but direct myself in breath here.

Day 105 - Judging my speaking

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to judge the words I speak, the ideas I speak, the thoughts I speak before I even spoke them and when I am speaking in front of other people.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to let go of the fear that what I speak will not be coherent, understandable, logical and sensible.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and myself to let go of the fear that I will be disliked, proven wrong or laughed at when I speak in front of others.

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to fear that my father will not agree with what I am saying and to feel inferior when he or someone does not agree with what I am saying.

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to go into fear of rejection and inferiority when someone does not agree with me.

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to judge others who I don't agree with as inferior, wrong and stupid and to judge me in the same way. I realize that being wrong or not being agreed with by others is nothing 'bad' and is not shameful because no one knows everything and all people make mistakes and have wrong perceptions. I commit myself to not accept and allow myself to fear that may be wrong and that others will not agree with me. I commit myself to not judge myself as inferior, stupid and to not go into shame and fear of rejection/ridicule when others don't agree with me or when I am proven wrong. Instead I breathe and take the opportunity to learn something new.

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to perceive the act of someone not agreeing with me as dangerous for the status of my relationship and reputation.

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to wish/want/desire to be reputable among other people and to within this worry about/fear their opinions, observations. I realize and understand that as long as I will desire to have a 'good reputation' among others, to be liked by all and to have agreeing relationships with others, so long I will be afraid of rejection and disagreement. Therefore I commit myself to no more accept and allow myself to wish/want/desire to have a 'good reputation' among others and to have agreeing relationships with others. I commit myself to no more accept and allow myself to fear that others will not agree with me.

I realize and understand that only I can stop judging and comparing myself through inferiority/superiority and that I am always equal to all as Life and so it is useless to judge myself and feel inferior if others don't agree with me.

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to feel ashamed and less than when someone doesn't agree with me or when someone says that I did not do something well enough or how it was expected. I commit myself to no more feel ashamed and inferior in such situations and I commit myself to not take them personally. Instead I move myself in the breath and take the opportunity to learn something new and make myself better.

Day 101 - In-fear-iorities part 6

My previous blog is in Slovene.

When do I feel inferior?

- When I am naked.

I forgive myself the I have accepted and allowed myself to feel inferior whenever I am seen (half) naked.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define/see/perceive being naked as shameful, inappropriate, embarrassing and being inferior.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge and compare naked people with me and others and to judge their appearance according to pretty/sexy and ugly.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge and compare other man's penises with mine and others and to so feel inferior or superior and to allow myself to be defined by such comparisons and definitions.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to sexualize naked humans and use them as pictures for either sexual stimulation/attraction or repulsion.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to see naked people only as naked bodies as objects or pictures.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to connect naked women with sex and only see them as bodies and pictures for sexual pleasure as energy addiction. I commit myself to no more accept and allow myself to connect naked women with sex and to no more see them only as bodies and pictures for sexual pleasure as energy addiction. I commit myself to stop sex as energy addiction.

I commit myself to no more accept and allow myself to see/perceive naked people only as naked bodies, pictures but as living beings.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to connect naked humans with sex and with memories I have related to sex.

When and as I see myself connecting naked humans with sexual memories - I stop and breathe. I realize that with allowing this I only exist as a self-interested mind addicted to energies. Therefore I commit myself to no more accept and allow myself to connect naked humans with sex and sexual memories.

I realize and understand that judgment and comparison is not needed and is completely useless as it does not serve anyone any good, it is only a mind energetic polarity point where one wants to feel superior and with this also feel inferior. Therefore I commit myself to no more accept and allow myself to judge and compare naked people with me and others and I commit myself to not judge and compare the appearances of others and me when naked.

- When I stand out from the environment, when I am not according to the norm.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel inferior/superior when I in some way, that I judge as good or bad, stand out from the environment or when I am not according to the norm.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be afraid of being seen as abnormal when I am not according to the norm.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge being abnormal as something bad and shameful and to judge people who I see/perceive as abnormal in some way as inferior.

I commit myself to no more accept and allow myself to feel inferior/superior and to judge myself whenever I am not according to the norm in some way and I commit myself to no judge people and me according to good and bad, but to see people/things for what they really are while being aware that all Life is equal.

- When I am not according to what others anticipate.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel inferior when I am not according to what others anticipated.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think/believe/perceive that I should always fulfill others expectations.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to wish/want/desire to fulfill others expectation.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to wish/want/desire to be liked by others by fulfilling their expectations of me.

I realize and understand that when I treat others how I would like to be treated and do what is best for all, there is no need for me to worry about others expectations and opinions of me as I am doing what is best for all and what others are expecting or thinking is just the projection of their mind and their wishes/wants/desires that are according to self interest.
Therefore I commit myself to treat others as I would like to be treated according to what is best for all and to not wish/want/desire to be liked by others and to not worry and judge myself according to what others expect from me or what they thing about me.

- When I fart.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel inferior when I fart around people.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge and define farting as wrong, bad, shameful, embarrassing, disgusting and to judge people who fart as disgusting.

I commit myself to no more accept and allow myself to define farting as wrong, bad, shameful, embarrassing, disgusting and to judge those who fart as disgusting and I commit myself to no more feel inferior, embarrassed when others hear me fart.

- When I am louder than others.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel inferior, embarrassed when I am louder than others.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge loud people as inappropriate, rude, egoistic.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear other people's judgement when I expose myself more.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge exposed people.

I commit myself to no more accept and allow myself to judge exposed people and to no more fear of others judgments when I am exposed.

- When I smell myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel inferior when I smell myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge smelly people as inferior, disgusting, dirty.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define the smell of human body and sweat as disgusting and embarrassing.

I commit myself to no more accept and allow myself to judge and define smells of human bodies as disgusting, embarrassing and to no more judge people who smell as inferior, disgusting, dirty.

Day 99 - In-fear-iorities part 5

When do I feel inferior?

- When others work and I don't.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel inferior when I see others work and I don't.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge other people as lazy, rude and selfish when I work and others just watch. I commit myself to not feel inferior when others work and I watch and to judge others when I work and others watch, instead I breathe and direct myself to help if I can or just breathe.

- When others want to talk to me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to go into fear and feel inferior when someone says one wants to talk with me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to connect this with being punished, yelled at or bullied.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear that I will be punished, yelled at or bullied when someone wants to talk with me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to go into self judgment and to believe that I have done something wrong and be ashamed of myself when one says one wants to talk with me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel like I am being attacked and to wish/want/desire to go away when one says on wants to talk with me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to take it personally when one says one wants to talk with me.

I commit myself to no more accept and allow myself to go into fear, inferiority, shame when one says one wants to talk with me. Instead I breathe and I bring myself back here and direct myself in awareness that nothing bad can actually happen to me when one wants to speak with me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to take it personally and to judge myself as inferior when one says I have done a bad job, done something wrong or when one does not agree with me. I realize and understand that there is no point in taking things personally and to judge myself according to what others say about me/my work, instead I can self honestly assess other's observation and use them to improve myself and if what they express is just their opinion then not take it personally. I commit myself to no more accept and allow myself to judge myself and feel inferior to another when one judges me/my work or says that I have done a bad job or done something wrong or when one doe not agree with me, instead I breathe and use other's observations to improve myself and I don't take anything personally.

- When I fall.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel embarrassed and inferior when I fall or trip (in public) and to judge myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge others that fall or trip as clumsy and inferior to me because I didn't/don't and to laugh at them in order to feel superior.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself as inferior and clumsy if I hear other people laughing at me if I trip, fall.

I commit myself to no more accept and allow myself to judge myself and feel inferior if I trip or fall (in public). Instead I breathe and focus on the physical and my body to see if I am ok.

I commit myself to no more accept and allow myself to judge other as clumsy and inferior if I see them trip, fall and to not laugh at them in order to feel superior. Instead I breathe and help if they need it.

- When something doesn't work out as I planned, imagined, anticipated.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself as inferior and be angry with myself when something doesn't work out as I planned, imagined, anticipated and I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to feel superior and happy when something does work out as I planned, anticipated, imagined. I realize and understand that I am with this participating in a polarity design, therefore I commit myself to no more accept and allow myself to create anticipation and wish/want/desire for something to work out as I planned, imagined and to not create anticipation and to feel feel bad, inferior when it doesn't happen the way I wanted. Instead I direct myself in breath to work as best as I can to do what I planned and I commit myself to no more blame and judge myself as inferior and feel angry when things work out differently.

I will continue in the next blog...

Day 96 - In-fear-iorities part 3

When do I feel inferior:

- When someone is judging me.
- When I judge myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself feel inferior when someone is judging and comparing me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to take it personally when someone is judging and comparing me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to start judging and comparing myself when I see/perceive others judging and comparing me or others.

When and as I see myself feeling inferior, taking it personally and judging, comparing myself when others are comparing me or others - I stop and breathe. I realize and understand that being different in any way does not make me inferior/superior and does not change my or another's equal value as Life. Therefore I do no accept and allow myself to feel inferior/superior when and as I see/perceive others judging, comparing me or others and I do not accept and allow myself to judge, define and change my value in comparison through mind polarity, instead I live the realization that me and everyone is equal in value as Life.

- When someone has more money.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel inferior to people that have more money.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel superior to people that have less money.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge, compare and define value of people and living being according to how much money they are worth/they have. I realize and understand that Life itself is the most valuable and that all Life is equal in value and that defining any other value to life implies separation from life and so abuse of life. Therefore I commit myself to no more accept and allow myself to look at the value of Life through money, instead I live the realization that Life itself is the greatest value and that all Life is equal in value.

- When someone has something 'better'/'newer' than me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel inferior when I see/perceive that someone has something better/newer than me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel superior when I see/perceive that I have something newer/better than someone else.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to envy another when I see/perceive that one has something newer/better than me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to wish/want/desire to have what I see another has when I think/perceive that what one has is better than what I have.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to compete and compare with others through the material things and possessions.

When and as I see myself comparing myself with others through material possessions - I stop and breathe. I realize and understand that I am creating a polarity construct where I feel positive when I believe that what I have is better than what another has and where I feel negative when I believe that what another has is better than what I have. Therefore I do not accept and allow myself to exist within this polarity of positive/negative and I bring myself back here and breathe.

- When someone has something I don't.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel inferior when I see that someone has something that I don't and/or can't have.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel superior when I can have something that others can't have and/or don't have access to.

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to create a wish/want/desire for things within myself that I can't have and/or don't have access to.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to blame myself as not being good enough or smart/experienced enough when I see I don't/can't have things that others have and to within this make myself inferior and feel bad about myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to blame others for having things I don't/can't have as being selfish.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create anger and spitefulness within myself towards people who have more than me and who have things that I can't/don't have.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to envy people who have things that I don't/can't have.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to let go of the wish/want/need for material things, therefore I commit myself to let go of this addiction to the material things I don't really need and to stop the polarity of superiority/inferiority where I compare myself with others in relation to what I have/don't have and what others have/don't have.

I commit myself to no more accept and allow myself to feel inferior when I see someone that has something I don't/can't have and I commit myself to no more feel superior when I have something that others don't have.

I will continue in the next blog...

Day 97 - In-fear-iorities part 4

When do I feel inferior?

- When I am scared.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel inferior when I am scared and to believe that I am unable to stand equal to the fear and remove it through self-honesty and self-forgiveness. I realize and understand that I have created every fear through the mind and that I can remove the source of the fear through self-honesty and self-forgiveness. I commit myself to no more accept and allow myself to feel inferior to any fear that I experience, instead I stop and breathe and apply self-honesty and remove all points of fear with self-forgiveness and bring myself back here where I direct myself in breath.

- When others talk and I don't.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel inferior when others talk and communicate and I don't and also I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel superior when I talk.
When and as I see myself feeling inferior to others when I have nothing to say while others talk - I stop and breathe. I commit myself to no more feel inferior when others talk and I have nothing to say.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel inferior when I have nothing to say and when I don't know anything about the things others are talking about.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel superior when I talk about things that others don't know so much about.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to stop existing withing the inferiority/superiority feeling towards other people.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to wish/want/desire to have attention and be liked by others, instead of me liking myself and giving myself attention.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to wish/want/desire to have stories about myself that I could talk about so that I would be seen as 'cool', fun and experienced.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define myself as asocial and to within this create a negative emotion where I feel bad and inferior and not good enough. I commit myself to stop defining/seeing myself as asocial and to stop existing within the negative/bad experience of this self-definition.

- When someone pays something for me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel inferior when someone pays something for me and to feel superior when I pay something for someone. I commit myself to no more exist within the superiority/inferiority polarity in the point of payment.

- When someone's score is better/higher then mine.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel inferior when I see/perceive that someone's score is higher/better than mine.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to compare myself with others and compete with others by comparing scores. I realize and understand that We are all equal in value as Life always no matter what score/skill one has in anything.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to stop comparing myself, my skills/scores to those of others.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to stop taking it personally when my score/skill is not as good/high as someone else's.

I commit myself to no more accept and allow myself to compare myself and compete with others by comparing my skill/score and to no more take it personally and make it define myself as superior/inferior as I realize that I am within this creating the polarity of feeling good/bad about myself which is useless and unnecessary.

- When people look at me.
- When people wait for what I'll say.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to go into fear and inferiority when I get people's attention and when people start looking at me or expecting me to talk.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to in such situation wish/want/desire that people would like me, what I do, what I say.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel superior when people like me, what I do/say and to feel inferior when people don't like what I say/do.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to take personally what people think/say about me. I realize and understand that what people think/say about me is their own judgments which I don't have to make my own. Therefore I commit myself to no more accept and allow myself to take other people's judgments of me personally and I commit myself to no make other people judgments of me my own.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to take responsibility for the feelings of inferiority when others look at me. I commit myself to take responsibility for all inferiority feelings and to no more accept and allow them within me.

- When people wait for me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel inferior when others wait for me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself as too slow and rude when others have to wait for me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge others as too slow, rude when I have to wait for them.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create anxiety and nervousness within myself when others have to wait for me.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realize that have created this anxiety/fear when others wait for me when I was a child and my parents called me and I was afraid that they will not wait for me and leave me if I don't come quick enough.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear that my parents/people will leave me behind if I don't come quick enough when they call me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear being left behind/being lost if I don't come quick enough when someone calls me.

When and as I see myself creating fear/anxiety/inferiority when someone calls me - I stop and breathe. I realize and understand that I am always here with me in the breath and that I cannot really be left behind and lost because I never really left myself behind and I never lost myself. Therefore I commit myself to no more accept and allow myself to create fear/anxiety/inferiority within myself when someone calls me and/or when others wait for me, instead I breathe and direct myself within the realization that I cannot ever really leave myself behind or lose myself here in the breath.

I will continue in the next blog...

Day 95 - In-fear-iorities part 2

Continuing with the inferiority points:

- When I believe I should know something and I don't.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel inferior when I believe that I should know something that I don't.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think/believe/perceive that it is shameful when someone does not know something that one should/that I or others expected that one would know but didn't.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge people who don't know what I expected they would as inferior, stupid, irresponsible and to believe that they should be ashamed of themselves.

When and as I see myself judging another for not knowing something that I/others expected one will - I stop and breathe. I realize and understand that I would also not want to be judged or laughed at but assisted with the point I didn't know/understand yet. I commit myself to not judge people who don't know/understand what I/others expected them they will, instead I direct myself in breath to assist them.

- When I forget something.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to think/believe/perceive that I should never forget anything.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to judge others when they forget something as stupid, less than/inferior to me or those who don't forget and to within this judge myself when I forget something.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that knowing specific data/information out of memory is important and that this defines ones intelligence. I realize and understand that any data can be looked up and so judging people by what they know from the memory is an abuse where we make/define knowledge as information more important than actual life itself. Therefore I commit myself to not accept and allow myself to judge anyone based on the information they know or not know and their memory, instead I look and see others for what they really are here in the physical, which is life equal.

- When someone has done something I'd like to but didn't yet.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel inferior to another who has done somehting I'd like but didn't.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel superior to another when I have done something that another hasn't done. I realize and understand that I am with this constantly comparing myself with others and so competing with others where I exist in a polarity of inferiority/superiority. I commit myself to stop existing within this inferiority/superiority polarity game of comparison and judgment, instead I commit myself to accept myself as equal to all here in every breath.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think/believe/perceive that one's experience(s) define one's worth/value and to in this define people with more experience and superior to those with less experience. I realize and understand that it is impossible for all to have the same experience and that in fact the experience that one had does not impact/define or change one's value as life as it is always equal to the value of all life and so I commit myself to not judge/define my value or value of others by how much experience they have, instead I see the equal value in all as Life always.

- When someone shows me something about myself that I didn't know/realize yet.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel embarrassed, inferior and to judge myself this way when one shows me something about myself that I haven't yet realized/noticed.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge and define the fact that someone sees/realizes/knows something about me that I don't as embarrassing and to within this judge myself as inferior and be embarrassed. I realize and understand that this is nothing to be embarrassed about because we all exist in a way where it is harder to see self and self's patterns when one lives them and so we can help each other to point out each others patterns. Instead of being ashamed and feel inferior I can be grateful for such support and I commit myself to not accept and allow myself anymore to go into self-judgement and inferiority, but to instead breathe and use such support as to improve myself.

- When someone is older.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel inferior to someone that is older than me. I realize and understand that I have connected this with the idea of experience and the belief that older people have more authority and should be feared and respected.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that older people have more authority/power just because they are older.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think/believe/perceive that I should fear older people because I believe they have power over me.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realize that I have created the fear of older people when I was a child because older people were stronger than me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think/believe/perceive that older people are stronger than me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel superior towards younger people.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to think/believe/perceive that younger people should show me respect.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see people off all ages for what they really are here in the physical, which is equal as Life in every way no matter what one thinks/believes of oneself or another or how one presents oneself or how much money one has or what one's status and place in today's system of abuse.

I commit myself to no more accept and allow myself to define myself as superior/inferior towards other people and to see and treat all equally as Life as as how I would like to be treated.

- When someone is angry at me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel inferior to another when one is angry with me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to take it personally when I see/perceive that one is angry with me. I realize and understand that I am responsible for my thoughts/reactions and that another's thoughts/reactions are not to be taken personally as then I am unable to stand as Life here and assist/act in a way that is best for all. I commit myself to no more accept and allow myself to react with inferiority and take it personally when one is angry with me anger or when one reacts towards me with emotions. Instead I breathe and I direct myself to assist another the way I would like to be assisted.

- When someone is yelling at me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear for my life and create a fear of pain and react with inferiority when on yells at me. I realize and understand that I have created this reaction pattern when I was a child and got scared when parents started yelling at me because I did not understand.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to connect someone yelling at me with punishment and pain and to within this react wit inferiority.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to take it personally when one is yelling at me. I realize and understand that yelling is not to be taken personally as it is not about me but about how ones expresses oneself in a particular situation. Therefore I commit myself to no more accept and allow myself to react with inferiority when one is yelling at me but to instead breathe and listen and direct myself in a way that is best for all.

I will continue in the next blog...

Day 94 - In-fear-iorities

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear being wrong, being shown that I am wrong and realizing that what I thought, believed is wrong.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel ashamed, inferior, not good enough, less than when I am being shown that I am wrong and/or that I made a mistake.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to think/believe/perceive that admitting that I am wrong and that I made a mistake means that I am inferior, less than, not good enough and that this is shameful.
I realize and understand that anyone can make a mistake and that a mistake is not to be judged but recognized and accepted as a point where I can improve and make myself better. Therefore I commit myself to not judge myself and feel inferior, less than, not good enough and be ashamed of myself when I am wrong and/or when I made a mistake, instead I am thankful for the fact that I was shown the mistake and I use the point to improve myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear that I will go the wrong way with my process and that I will have to do it all over again.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself make the justification of 'I don't want to go the wrong way and do it all over again' to create fear within myself and to then not do my process. I realize and understand that creating such fears and justifications will not help me in any way. I commit myself to no more accept and allow myself to create a justification of 'I don't want to go the wrong way and do it all over again' and to no more accept and allow myself to be directed by the fear of 'going the wrong way' or 'doing something wrong' and then having to do it again, instead I direct myself in breath and simply correct and realign myself whenever I see that I am wrong or not effective in a point.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear if exposing myself and then being laughed at and be rejected, degraded. I realize and understand that I judge and degrade myself and so when I remove the self-judgment and self-degradation I will not be moved or affected by others laughing, judging, degrading me as I will always be in breath and understand that other's judgments show their own minds. I commit myself to no more fear of exposing myself and to no more judge myself and degrade myself as I understand that this will not help me in any way and I commit myself to let go of any reactions that I might have to others with written self-forgiveness and to not take things personally.

Fear that someone will expose something that I didn't know/realize about myself and then be ashamed - judging myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear that someone will expose something that I didn't yet know/realize about myself and that I will then feel ashamed and inferior. I realize and understand that there is no need for me to judge myself as inferior and feel ashamed as this will not help me in any way. I realize and understand that I can be grateful for every such point as I can use it to improve myself. I commit myself to no more accept and allow myself to be directed by the fear of someone showing me a point that I did not yet know/realize about myself and I commit myself to be grateful for it and to use it to improve and realign myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create and use the excuse of judging myself as not being good enough and doing something good enough in order to avoid it and not do it at all. I realize and understand that I can only improve myself by doing what I can in every moment and then correcting and realigning myself as I get the feedback and as I get more experienced. I commit myself to not accept and allow myself to judge myself and what I do as not good enough and to not use this as an excuse to not do blogs, videos, something at all, instead I direct myself in breath to do what I can the best I can without judgmentsand I use the feedback to improve and realign myself in common sense and according to what is best for all.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to compete with others when I write blogs, do videos, talk, work with others or do something. I realize and understand that within this I judge and compare myself where I create superiority/inferiority constructs that I then use as a motivator/demotivator instead of directing myself in breathe here equal. I commit myself to not judge, compare and compete with others when I write blogs, make videos, talk or work with others or alone but to direct myself in breath here as equal and I commit myself to not take any feedback personally but to be grateful for it and use it to improve myself and realign myself to what is best for all.

Where can I see inferiority points coming up within myself?

- When someone laughs.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel inferior when I see/perceive that someone is laughing (at me) and to immediately think/believe that I am the one being laughed at when I hear someone laughing.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think/believe/perceive that it is embarrassing and degrading if one laughs at you and to within this feel inferior and ashamed.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to laugh at others because of judging them and to within this feel superior to another and be spiteful to another. I realize and understand that I am with this creating the polarity construct where I feel superior when I laugh at others and inferior when others laugh at me Therefore I commit myself to no more accept and allow myself to laugh at another because of judgment and spitefulness, instead I stand equal to another and consider another as myself and act as I would like others to act if I was in their place.

I will continue with the inferiority points in the next blog.