Day 266 - Fearing negative reactions from strangers

Today I'll look at the point I've noticed when I attended a tattoo convention for the first time not long ago. I don't know much about tattoos and I had some negative judgments and fears towards. Like, I don't quite understand why would someone want to have a long lasting tattoo, I think even if I had one I would probably not find it interesting anymore after a while, so why make it permanent? I also have concerns that the ink being used is toxic for the body and may cause discomfort or some serious illness later on. But I decided to give myself the opportunity to go to a local tattoo convention and see up close how getting a tattoo looks like and what I might find interesting about it that I didn't see before, but also to stop fearing people with lots of tattoos and stop judging them. I used to see them as more violent, criminal, dangerous, drug abusing. Even if most were inclined to be like this, I would be unnecessarily limiting myself by prejudging them and avoiding them, because I would not allow myself to really get to know each person with tattoos before I make any judgement about them. So this is the correction I am making. But what I noticed while being on the convention is something else:

While walking among the booths where tattoo artists were showing their art and some people got their tattoos made, I noticed I went into a fearful/shy character, where I did not feel relaxed and rather avoided speaking to the artists and asking them questions, because I felt like I know so little about the art of tattoo making that whatever I would ask or say, I would look stupid and everyone would know that I am a "noob", someone who doesn't know anything about it. I made myself feel inferior and ashamed by simply allowing a few such thoughts to come up in my mind, which cause me to change my behavior and so, because of fear, become very limited in my expression.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear talking with tattoo artists and ask them questions because I feared being see as a noob and judged inferior.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to judge myself as inferior and feel ashamed when I think/perceive that I am a noob who knows nothing about a topic and by doing so, limit myself to not speak and not ask questions and try to shy away, so that nobody would notice that I don't know anything. When and as I see myself avoiding speaking with tattoo artists/people because of judging myself as inferior and feeling ashamed when I think/perceive that I am a noob who know nothing about tattoos/a topic - I stop and breathe. I realize that we are all nescient or ignorant about every topic at some point and that we decide to get to know some things sooner and some later, while other the other way around. So there is no need to judge myself and/or others as inferior for being noobs at something, because I am with this only limiting myself and preventing me from getting to know more about the topic or limit others when judging them as inferior because I give them reasons to feel inferior themselves and so shy away instead of exploring and asking questions. Thus I commit myself to not judge myself as inferior when I notice that I am a noob at something, instead I direct myself to talk with people, ask questions, explore and accept myself as someone who doesn't know and is still learning, without judgement, even if others react to me with superiority, laughter, etc., as I realize and understand that such their reactions only show who they really are and which issues/judgement they have with/within themselves for looking down on someone who knows/understands less than them.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to try and compensate when I know less than someone else by trying to appear smarter than I am through making statements as if I have some idea about what I am talking about, instead of simply admitting to myself that I don't know and so ask questions from this perspective, without trying to hide the fact that I know nothing about the topic I am asking about. Thus I commit myself to admit to myself that I am a noob when I see that I don't know enough or have enough experience to give any definitive statements about a topic and so accept myself as someone who knows nothing or less than others, while still understanding and being aware that this does not make me inferior to others or diminished in any way. Thus there is no point in judging myself as inferior or letting myself feel inferior when others look down on me when I know nothing or less than them about a topic, instead I gift myself the opportunity to ask questions and learn more.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to go into fearful/inferior character when I approach/meet a group of people that I see/perceive as in some way being different than me, because I fear they know things I don't and so judge myself as inferior and feel ashamed if they see I don't know/understand something they do. When and as I see myself going into fearful/inferior character when I approach/meet a group of people that I see/perceive as in some way being different than me - I stop and breathe. I realize that I will always meet people who know something I don't and are in some way different than me and that this does not mean that I am in any way inferior to them. Thus it makes no sense for me to keep judging myself as inferior to them as I understand that even if someone knows very little about anything, he/she is still an equal living being with an equal value than someone who knows a lot and has a lot of experience. Thus I commit myself to approach/meet groups of people that I see/perceive as in some way being different than me with awareness and understanding that no matter what one knows or does, I am still equal to them, because all living beings are equal in value. I also remember that my added value is in understanding the mind and the tools for self help better than most people and that I am able to help others see things about themselves and how to help themselves be who they want.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to go into a self-doubting character when I meet a group of strangers that I would like to develop a supportive relationship with, as if the fact that they behave/think differently in some way invalidates how I behave/think where I then go into self-doubt, instead of accepting myself as I am/what I think in the moment without judgement and then evaluate how others behave/think and see if I can in some way improve myself by learning to do something others already do more effectively than me. Thus I commit myself to be aware that it is most supporting for me to completely accept myself as who I am in the moment when I meet a group of strangers that I would like to develop a supportive relationship with as with this, I allow myself to be self-confident and self-directive, while at the same time being aware of how others act/think, so that I can see when they are more effective than me at something and then learn from them how to improve myself or correct my beliefs that are not aligned with reality.

Witness statement: Desteni Research Group is not a scam

My name is Blaž Cegnar and I live in Slovenia, EU, where I was born in Celje in 1988 and where I also finished my high-school. I finished the study of computer and information science at University of Ljubljana where I got my bachelor's degree and I am currently studying information and communication science for my master's degree at University of Maribor.

I first found out about the Desteni Research Group in 2008 when I started watching the group's videos on YouTube, where perspectives were given about the human history and how the world and the human mind works, how the abuse of Life happens and how it is allowed by all of us and how each one can help oneself to become a better human being that stands for what is best for All Life and works in harmony with others to implement practical solutions that will ensure a Dignified Life for all forms of life, where all Life is considered equally. Since then I have been studying the material that is made available on the group's web pages. I also joined the forum and I enrolled for the online SRA Course, which is now called the Desteni'I'Process Pro, in 2010. I am currently working on lessons from SRA3, which is the third year of the course. I am paying for the course and I also receive a sponsorship as I am not able to afford the full price of the course. I am very satisfied with it as I always have a personal buddy that helps me in understanding the lessons, material and exercises that I work on in the course. All of this is helping me to understand myself better, how I created my mind and how it all works and to, through this, change my patterns, myself to be a better and more effective person in doing what is best for all, where before I just saw myself and my self-interest and so created much abuse towards self and others. There is no other tool or course that I know of that would be so helpful in developing and expanding self into a better human being that the Desteni'I'Process Pro.

While investigating the material I found and familiarized myself with practical tools and advice for self-investigation and self-support, which includes self-honesty, writing, self-forgiveness, self-corrective application and procedures with which one can realize, understand and deconstruct one's own mind constructs, mind patterns, emotions and feelings and by doing so stop and remove the abusive patterns and replace them with practical solutions that are best for all and so best for oneself.

While applying these tools I found out that I can realize and understand my thought patterns, feelings, emotions and how I have created them, depending on how much I allow myself to be honest with myself. By applying these tools I become aware of my everyday patterns, that are based on thoughts and other energies like emotions and feelings, and I can further see how I create and allow abuse towards myself and others as long as I allow such energies to direct me and my decisions, instead of me directing myself within the principle of common sense and what is best for All Life here in every breath.

I have been applying these tools for more than two years now, both privately and publicly as it can be seen on my two public blogs:

http://blazprocess.blogspot.com/
http://blazcegnar.blogspot.com/

During the process of applying the tools I have completely stopped drinking alcohol as it had no positive effect whatsoever on my life. I have also stopped the addiction of watching porn as it is a total abuse of women and makes one unable to develop a healthy and supportive intimate relationship towards oneself and one's partner. I have removed the addiction of being dependent on my relationship partner and I removed the fear of not having one. I also removed many fears I had towards meeting, speaking and interacting with strangers and other people. I have stopped judging myself according to my appearances and how I look. I am now more able to stay calm and not react to conflicting situations and I am generally able to be more stable and self-directive.

I have also visited the Desteni Farm in South Africa in 2011. I went there together with my former partner, Barbi Seme, and we stayed there aproximately for a month, from 29th of July to 29th of August. At that time I was already participating with the Desteni Group for about three years. I was very interested to actually meet the people I interacted with over the internet and I wanted to see how they actually live. It was my wish to visit the farm and so I asked if we could come and so we were invited. We payed for the whole trip and our stay on the farm. When we arrived at the airport we were picked up by Andrea and Robert and then we went back to the farm where we met all the other Destonians living there and those who also came to visit, including Bernard, Esteni, Sunette and many others. We immediately got our own room and after a few days we moved to another, bigger one. All the rooms and houses there are really nice, practical and comfortable. The food and everything else needed for living was always available and during our stay we could move freely and participate in anything we liked. We were on the farm most of the time, except when we went to a few trips to Pietermaritzburg or when we visited the local nature preserve. They are taking care for lots of animals on the farm so we helped with that for example, like taking care of the horses and I also helped with the parrots. We helped with painting the walls and fences and we also put up a new one for the garden. We also played pool or played with the dogs or watched an episode of Game of Thrones in the afternoon for example. They also have a music studio so I was learning to play on drums there which was very fun. I have quickly realized that all people on the farm are very practical and very motivated, persistent and stable in the work they do in order to search for and implement practical solutions that are best for all Life on Earth. They are like any other human being and I don't see them as special or much different than any other person, but what I also observed is that people living on the Desteni Farm are one of the most considerate, helpful, open, peaceful and self-honest people I ever met. I really liked living with them and if all people would live in such a way, than everyone on earth would have a dignified live that is fun and worth living. I felt very accepted the whole time. I also realized how limited I am within my own mind and my feelings and emotions that I create within myself with which I prevent myself to actually live and direct myself the way that is best for all in every breath. And so I also realized that I have to work on myself and change myself so that I can be the change that is needed in the world so that we can all create a dignified and fun life for all on Earth.

I have been studying Desteni, what it represents and I am working with other Destonians for around five years now and I have seen, observed and participated in the activities that are going on in the group and so what I see is that what the group does and stands for is what is best for all Life on Earth because everything and everyone is considered and solutions are always created and implemented in a way that is best for all.

2011 - I can change the World

Humans don't want to accept the fact that all things in creation are equal because that would mean that one cannot be special and privileged in any way. That would make any competition, bullying and unequal money distribution look stupid and unnecessary. Winners don't want that, people with lots of money don't want that, abusers don't want that. And we ARE all of that. We want to win so we compete, instead of working together as equals. We want to have more money than others because then we can show how 'better' and exclusive we are and then we try and hide the fact that we don't care about other people, who work for us as slaves and die because we ab-use then to our personal benefit. We will go to great lengths to try and prove that we are not responsible for others. We all abuse other people like that, we all abuse nature and Earth to make more money. We all try so much to prove that we cannot change, that we are this way because we don't have a choice, because we don't want to choose to be honest with ourselves. We don't want to stand up and be responsible for all as one as equals. We point fingers and blame everyone else instead of looking at ourselves and changing ourselves to do what is Best for All. This is who we accepted and allowed ourselves to become and this is what we teach our children. But being self-honest, the 'we' is always shaped by a lot of 'I's. If only one 'I' changes to do what is Best for All, then the self-dishonesty of everyone else gets obvious. And the 'I's start to realize their self-deception and see that what is Best for All is what is Best for All. And so the self-honest I's work together in self-honesty, in self-correction, in self-perfection until all the I's do what is Best for All - or die trying. This is what we do through the Desteni'I'Process. We are the future of the World without abuse, where everyone are Equals in Oneness and Equality. We make the solutions that are Best for All real for everyone Equally. Join us!

www.equalmoney.org