Showing posts with label porn. Show all posts
Showing posts with label porn. Show all posts

Thursday, May 26, 2011

2011 - Why does sex sell?

Because we are addicted to the energy experience of sex which means: we accept and allow ourselves to become possessed with sexual energy of lust and then we desire to release it through the explosion of ecstasy. Then we memorize it as something incredibly enjoying so when we see a commercial (or what ever) that reminds us of the previous experiences and we go crazy in our mind and blind ourselves with all kinds of imaginary mind activities that will hopefully build up our sexual energy again (and even more than before) because we want to release it again and feel high for a second! Yeah!
Now, this is really a good distraction for ones ego. If one constantly has this desire of a sexual experience in ones head, then one gets consumed by it and distracted with it all the time. And one becomes an idiotic robot that is easily controlled by impulses that stimulate sexual thoughts. That's what corporations like. They show a product, give a sexy lady next to it and the robot consumer gets activated, gives money and expects more sex.

"I see sexy lady - mind sex system activated - ah yes, uh, give you money, me system robot, need sex to recharge, yeaahh I pump it up and - explode! Feel good, feel god, very nice! This I call life but I'm not, me system robot need sex to recharge!" - LoL


This kind of behavior is extremely supported and encouraged through the current capitalistic money system of abuse. We're all brainwashed with sexuality as something separate from ourselves. Something that is sacred, special, intimate and also dirty, forbidden, shameful and what not. This will all change within an Equal Money System. Where first of all, sex will not be abused through money. No one will have to sell things through promoting sex because profit will not be in charge of anything - profit won't exist. Things will be made with consideration of What is Best for All, not what is best for profit. And people will be Equals, and women won't have to bribe rich guys with sex to live in luxury because All will have a Dignified Life - in fact, all will be able to live a life of a millionaire! And SEX will just be a point of self expression instead of self-abuse through mind possessions. But we have a lot of self-honesty to go through until then. This is a process we will all go through - if we like it or not. We can either make an interesting experience for ourselves while walking this process or design our own hell of self-deception. If you like the first option, visit the following site and join us on the journey of creating a new world that is Best for All (while earning some serious money!): www.desteniiprocess.com

Monday, March 28, 2011

2011 - Week-end / strong beginning

A few days ago Valentin, Barbi, Vitan, Ajda and me went to the Zeitgeist meeting in Maribor to see how they are doing and if we can assist each other in any way. It was funny since at the beginning there were actually more Destonians at the meeting than Zeitgeisters. In the end we were somewhat equal in number. We had a nice chat, shared perspectives and ideas and more or less concluded that we have similar goals and that we should find a way to assist each other where we can, for example one suggested that when one of us organizes an event we could all be there, presenting both ideas and perspectives and then people could decide where they want to contribute and so forth. Although I see and realize that The Venus project ideas presented through Zeitgeist are not taking into consideration everyone equally and that the very important practical part of taking care of ones own bullshit before trying to change the world are mostly absent and thus their proposals will not solve anything, I am still interested in establishing a connection with them since they are mostly (at least in Slovenia) very open minded for ideas and suggestions on how to make Earth a better place for all. We'll see how it goes and if we can assist each other.

The other meeting Valentin, Barbi and me participated in was much more fascinating to me. We met with a few people who are already doing the process as we call it at Desteni for quite some time now with a help of a kid that is actually a son of one of the man we met. He is able to see the auras or systems of people and objects and he can tell if you are lying and can practically know everything about you and what you accept and allow through mind consciousness system. He doesn't even have to be near you as you can for example send him a picture of you and he can tell what was your aura like at that moment. So they have realized lots of things about the world and people and they shared it with us and I realized that what they discovered is practically the same thing that Desteni is saying. Valentin also wrote something about it so you can also see his blog. I'm not going to talk about the same things. (I think he didn't explain the colors of the auras and their meaning completely right as they explained it to us but that's not important anyway).

So when we were chatting (we [I at least lol] were mostly listening at the beginning), I got this reaction coming up inside me where I get afraid to speak up or put attention onto myself because I fear being laughed at or something, I'm not sure yet and I find it hard to stop this reaction. And it is very annoying since my voice changes and I cant speak normally and my arms start to shake and stuff lol. Bernard said we'll try to deal with this system when Barbi and I come to the farm this summer which is great.
Also at the beginning of our chatting I wasn't sure yet if one of them can maybe also see our auras and know everything about me so I got this OMG feeling like what if they find something about me that even I don't know and then they'll judge me or something and I'll be ashamed, lolol. I'd say they are much more here in the breath as we are since they've been doing it for longer and had better tools to check their progress. It was interesting to me how I accepted and allowed myself to get this mind-fuck although I have nothing to hide from anyone as long as I know they will not abuse what I share lol. So yes, I have to deal with this fear of being abused or ashamed or something.

Meeting with this people was also a kind of confirmation to me that what Desteni presents is real because this people are independent and came to the same conclusions than Desteni. It's like now we have a cross-reference which is great. Everything also seems more real now to me since I met actual physical people who know about things that I only heard before over the Internet. Not that I doubt about the realness of people at Desteni lol, but it is quite a different experience if you can sit with a physical person and talk about these things, not just look at words and pictures on the computer screen. You kind of receive the information with all of your body not just through symbols.

So anyway we decided to meet again and I am looking forward to this since I see a great opportunity in this to support each other and also of course to work together to bring about solutions for this world like the Equal Money System.

In the end they also offered us to take a picture and get a reading from the kid if we want (he was not at the meeting). We didn't do it since we agreed that it's not really relevant and this was cool since we have to do our process by ourselves anyway and so relying on something outside of self is never a good idea. Thus self-honesty and self-corrective application is the way to go and the only way one can prove ones intentions as what is best for all is to stand by this principle at all times and openly share your doings so that everyone can see when you are bullshitting and when not.

Since stating this I'll use this opportunity, lol, to show here to myself and everyone that I failed at porn quite a few times, although I posted quite a few blogs ago that I'm not going to watch anymore.

So now I'm stating here as me to myself that I will never again watch porn and use it for masturbation. (I'm not making this a self defeat statement since someone can force me to watch porn or I can see it unintentionally lol). But the point is, I'm not going to use porn ever again for masturbation / while masturbating. And that's it. No self forgiveness and no nothing because I trust myself to stand by this statement. I realized that sometimes I (or we) just bullshit too much about a simple point. Decide and do it if it's best for all, how hard can it be? I'll see lol.

Tuesday, December 7, 2010

2010 - Self-directed sexation and orgasmation?

So the first thing is that a week or so ago I failed after a few months of not watching porn because I watched it again to jack off. It was great, but, I am now even more certain, or should I say self motivated, not to do it again because I understand that by watching porn I accept and allow my sexual mind consciousenss system to control me and supress/possess me as who I am as life. And I don't want that at all! So instead of directing me here and stopping the sexual energy desire, I gave in and got possessed by it, wanting to experience the great energy build up and then the release through ejaculation, which aparently gives me the super-duper feeling of the orgasm. Afterwards I always feel relaxed, cheerful and motivated, but that's all mind system bullshit, because I am always responsible for how I feel and how I experience myself. I do not accept and allow myself to get possessed by sexual energy and desire, instead I stop and breathe and I direct myself here to clear all thoughts and energy movements/desires and I stay here in the breath in self-direction and self-certainty as who I am as life.
That's that.
The other thing is that I don't want to stop sexuality or masturbation completely. Instead I want to be able to use it in self expression as who I am as life, with no wants/desires, to enjoy myself and my body and my partners body the way it is. But I always, when alone or with my partner, get quckly pumped with sexual energy when it comes to touching my 'stick of wonders' and then I give in and want to finish it with an orgasm/ejaculation. Because if I don't I feel tense and agitated and my balls hurt and what not I mean it's a real mind system fuck up. I've tried with my partner a few times to have sex as proposed by Desteni, just touching and feeling each other with no kissing and penetration but in the end, it still all came down to sex. It's quite a retarded situation, because I know that I am responsible for boulding up the sexual energy but still I'm usually unable to stop and then I find it more practical to just finish the thing with an orgasm because then I'm fine and clear again, otherwise I stay even more mindfucked and physically uncomfortable. So to stop this cycle of sexual possession, I have to stop myself before I even start to build up the energy. I've been doing that for some time now and I am getting better at it.
Still sometimes I get the desire to be physical with myself and/or my partner and if she doesn't want to, I breathe and delete the thoughts that come up. Like: "We haven't had sex for a week, I want to get physical..." or "I don't want to just touch myself and jack off, you do that better ..." lol, separation. Then I usualy do nothing and go to sleep.
So I've been working on this self-intimacy thing when alone,' like touching and feeling myself and breathing (trying breath orgasm a bit) and it's pleasant and interesting but as ususal I just can't avoid my dick and when I start with that I also ejaculate. It's like 'why the hell not' situation. So I want to deal wi this thing and right now I don't exactly know how. I also have this unwanted experience when jacking off by hand because it's not comfortable like it is with sex. So today I had a thought/interest of buying a fleshlight, which imitates the real 'cave of wonders', to play with when my partner is not interested. And I don't know if I should. I mean, I can see the mindfuck starting point of wanting to jack off my dick in a hightech suphisticated and comfortable way lol but it's also practical because I want to get rid of that sexual energy possession/desire to ejaculate everytime I start touching my dick. So I would use it to practically get rid of the speciallness of the experience of putting my 'magic stick' into the 'cave of woders'. Seriously though, in the end, it's all an excuse to continue orgasmating and ejaculating and feeling good about it.
I'm sure some of you already found some way to sort this sexuality thing out, yes? Well please give some perspectives. I find it complicated, lol.