Day 81 - Writing

Day 80 is in Slovene.

Writing is a very useful tool for getting to know oneself, for removing one's mind and for giving self direction as I have found out as I started to write out my mind patterns and as I applied self-forgiveness for the patterns. Lately it often happens that when I sit down to write, I do not find a point immediately and then I allow the backchat within myself like: "I don't have any point coming up and so I don't see the point of writing just for the sake of writing right now."

I forgive myself for a not accepting and allowing myself to sit and be with myself and just start writing whatever first comes up or writing about a point I saw around me that is not according to common sense and what is best for all to expose it and learn to direct it in a way that is best for all Life. I commit myself to not give into the backchat of giving up when I sit to write and nothing comes up immediately. Instead I commit myself to just start writing about whatever comes up first that I experienced that day or about o point that I saw and realized is not according to what is best for all to expose it to myself and all and to learn to direct it within common sense and what is best for all Life.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to look forward to a point that I enjoy doing and within this build expectations of how I am going to experience myself while doing it as I realize and understand that I within this create a polarity within myself, where I define an activity that I enjoy doing as something more than and something to look forward to and on the other hand, I define and activity that I don't enjoy as something less than and so create resistance and more friction towards it. I commit myself to to not define activities that I enjoy as something more than and to not look forward to doing them within the expectation of how I am going to feel/experience myself. Instead I commit myself to always breathe here in the moment and remove al expectations with self-forgiveness.

Day 3 - Clearing my starting point

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be afraid of what others might think about my blog and my writings.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to compare and judge myself and my writings with other people's writings, instead of realizing that I have to re-establish the starting point of writing my blogs for self, to be self-honest with self and to help myself remove my patterns and walk my process in self-trust, regardless of what others say, think, believe and how they perceive, judge my blogs/writings.

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to realize that I have started to write this blog out of fear of what others might say about me if I don't.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to compromise my self-trust in walking my process whenever someone judges me or tells me that I am failing, will fail, will never make it.

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to trust myself and stand by my decision that I make.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to compromise myself and my decisions by going into doubt whenever someone judges me/my decisions and tries to impose his/her own ideas/beliefs/perceptions of how I should be making my decisions.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to compromise myself, my self-trust and my decisions by fearing other people's possible reactions to my decisions.

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to live my decisions by going into self-doubt and by discussing my decisions with others to see what they might think because I fear that my decision will make them 'unhappy'.

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to talk openly with others about decisions that also effect them because I am afraid of their reactions and conflict.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear other's reactions and conflict when talking about decisions when I know I won't satisfy their expectations/wishes/wants/desires.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to base my decisions on what will make others happy instead of looking at self in self honesty and making my decisions based on what is most practical and common sensical within my process in that moment and according to what is best for all.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to go into self-blame and guilt whenever my decisions do not meet other people's wishes/wants/desires/anticipations/expectations, instead of realizing that I cannot and will not ever be able to make other people happy and satisfied and so I must focus on walking my process in self-honesty and making my decisions according to what I am able to do/walk/handle in that specific moment in my process and according to what is best for all.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to blame myself as a failure whenever I am not able to walk through all my fears/constructs at once and push myself into situations towards which I experience strong fears/resistances, instead of realizing that I must walk my process in self-honesty to do what I am able to do/handle in that moment towards what is best for all but without pushing myself into situations where I would compromise myself.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to want to please others within my decisions instead of self-honestly looking at myself and making decisions based on what I am able to walk within my process in that moment without compromising myself, but still pushing myself to expand myself and do what is best for all.

I commit myself to write my blogs and walk my process for myself in self-honesty, to birth myself as life here and do what's best for all and not to 'impress' or 'prove' myself to others who might be reading my blogs.